She gathered up her books and found her way to the high school where the students were already getting on with the job without her. They too seemed unperturbed by her absence but the Headmistress was a little more put out. She sat down in her office while Min stood to be instructed in the ways of the school which included a welcome ceremony to take place the next day. It was customary to introduce newcomers to the whole assembly and she Min, would be expected to dance as the guest of honour.
Min wanted to laugh out loud at the idea thinking it was a merry prank to tell her such a thing but when she was told later by one of the students that it was indeed part of the protocol of a welcome, to invite the guests to dance, she went hot and cold. What a pity they had waited for her return…
She had no talent for dancing in any genre but the local style was unique to the country and needed years of practice. Perhaps she would simply refuse to be humiliated as she knew she would be because she had also been told gleefully by another student that she would have to dance first on account of her status as college teacher.
That evening she felt like a zoo exhibit or worse, one of those tragic dancing bears and could not concentrate on anything. If only she had a telephone and could talk to Dinah who would put the ‘bizzo’ (as she would call it) into perspective. In default of a real conversation she had an imaginary one in which Dinah told her to ham it up.
‘The alternative is to be a right old kiwi sourpuss and you won’t live it down,’ Min heard her say in her head.
With this dubious counsel she finally fell asleep.
That was how she was able to relive the strange ordeal later over the meal with Polly and Jim but the benign legacy of the adventure on the Big Island was almost eclipsed.
First she had to describe the gargantuan Headmistress who ruled the school like a fiefdom of subordinates into which Min had stumbled as a sort of prize booty.
‘I sat up on the stage next to the Head and tried to smile at all the eager faces down below who seemed to be waiting for the highlight of their day - or year perhaps. The speeches had been made and laughter had been provoked and then one of the older boys - about fourteen I guess, came up on the stage and began to pluck a guitar in an amateurish way. I felt my stomach heave and thought that that would be a great moment for a cataclysm like an earthquake, but instead I was invited by a swoop of the authoritarian arm beside me to arise and begin the ordeal - a sort of gauche pastiche of a ballet crossed with a highland fling. One minute I bowed low with an outstretched leg and then I hopped about with one arm in the air - all the while grinning and wagging my head from side to side like a marionnette - and praying for someone else to join in. It seemed as if I was engaged thus for an eternity and the kids were roaring with laughter and clapping. Finally in desperation, I looked behind at the students who must have been waiting for some sort of signal, because they slowly and with what I can only describe as contrasting grace, began to glide around the space reducing me to a clownish clodhopper.’ Min dropped her head at the recollection and Jim said,
‘How long did you keep up your act?’
‘I retired almost immediately and sat down to be told by the immovable figure beside me that I had done well. I looked at her with flared nostrils and said nothing. I was out of breath anyway but honestly, I felt murderous. I still haven’t got over it but at least I know that I broke the ice that day and another persona I can call on if necessary, is in the wings. It’s a bit like growing a cultural carapace and you can put it on whenever you find yourself in a totally unfamiliar situation.’
Polly said that it was interesting to be out of your comfort zone and to develop a strategy for not losing your cool.
‘In a strange way - making a fool of yourself sort of strengthens your self confidence.’
‘They say that pride comes before a fall so perhaps the reverse is true.’ Jim looked pleased with himself and added that he thought maybe a sense of self had released the clown.
‘However there’s a time and place admittedly, for the bull to charge around in the china shop.’
‘I think you were spectacular and I’m not sure that I could have done what you did,’ said Polly.
She noticed that Min seemed more relaxed as well as articulate. It was certainly more challenging to leave your comfort zone alone, instead of with a friend or partner who could listen to your problems and share them. Min had that lean look of someone who worried a lot and occasionally beat herself up. It was a change to hear her wry take on the demands put on her in her teaching capacity and Polly was glad that her own job was a bit of a doddle.
Min had been keen to hear about the first language lesson and laughed at Jim’s idea of Polly having to sing her orders at the market. She had suggested that she write an opera of all the little dialogues she learnt and it might turn out to be a pioneering language teaching technique. They had not got around to talking about the Big Island trip but there would always be another day.
Chapter 22
Yushi had not been in touch since the burglary so Min wondered if he had decided to return to Japan. She hoped that was not the case so she was pleased to meet him the afternoon when she was on her way yet again to the post office to beg for a telephone. He introduced her to a rather beautiful young woman who was clearly not Japanese.
‘My new girlfriend. Her name is Fanua. This is Min my English teacher.’ The young woman smiled and shook Min’s hand and Min asked her if she lived locally.
‘Of course,’ chipped in Yushi. ‘Her English very good.’
Min said she was off to the post office to ask about her phone connection and Yushi said they were going to have a drink at a nearby café so could she join them when she was finished.
‘Wish me luck and hope to see you soon.’ Min was not hopeful but her mother’s letters were becoming importunate. (She could not understand why it was a problem and thought she might write to her local member of parliament!)
The response from the post office was positive to Min’s acute surprise, and she was told that they would be coming to her house within the week. She joined Yushi and Fanua with the joyous news and Fanua said she was fortunate. Her parents whose village was not far from the town, still did not have a telephone connection.
Yushi said that the police had come to their house and filled in forms about the burglary but they had heard no more. They had new locks on the doors as well as new things because the volunteer organisation did have insurance. He smiled at Fanua who told Min that they were better off than before.
‘Oh!’ said Min wondering exactly what was meant.
As they were leaving the café Min saw Lucky walking towards her and waving. She had not seen him since the trip. He said he had some shopping to do and then he could drive her home so she went to the market where most of the stalls had emptied for the day but where there were still a couple of diehards with some cheap offerings. They went to the butcher’s where his last visit had almost converted him into a vegetarian, he said. An old man had come in with a sack dripping with blood and had gone through to the back of the shop. After a necessary interval, the butcher presented Lucky with two very fresh pork chops whose all too obvious provenance was almost overwhelming...
‘Yuk, yuk yuk,’ squawked Min. ‘That’s why I’m a vegetarian!’
‘Well, it was a whole day before I could face the things but face them I did.’
Min told Lucky that it looked as if she’d have a phone connection in about a week.
‘Great! That calls for more than a cup of tea.’
They called into the bond store and bought some Australian red wine which Lucky said would probably not be his choice at home. They talked about the trip and how unreal it now seemed and Min entertained him with her description of the humiliation which had been waiting for her. He too said he didn’t know what he would have done if faced with such a situation. The worst that had happened since his return was that the hospital generator had broken down and they were frantically trying t
o get a technician from New Zealand. Min said that put her thing into perspective and Lucky said that both were in a way, a test of personal fortitude.
‘But I don’t have to look ridiculous - simply calm.’
‘I suppose you have to live up to your name - and by the way - how did you come to be given such an optimistic moniker?’
He took a sip of wine and said he should have dropped it in favour of his real name - Michael - when he left Australia, but somehow he’d forgotten and now regretted it. Min said she would rather call him Michael and he agreed.
‘It has more gravitas,’ she told him.
‘It was like this - my good mother was a friend of the local priest who presided over the parish of Saint Mary Underwire’ (‘NOo!’ cried Min incredulous, at which Lucky/Michael just grinned.) ‘His riverind wiz an Oirishmin with an interest in the geegees, t’beshure, and the parish was getting short of funds - I’ve run out of accent - so holy father wanted to run a raffle - d’you know what that is ?’
‘Of course.’
‘Now it so happened that we had a very fine piano in our front room which I had refused to learn as a nipper and which was played only when my aunt came to visit.’ He rubbed his hand over his face and meditatively swirled his wine in the glass.
‘Look, this is an awful story Min, and you’ll be shocked as I am - now that I’m a grown man. Anyway, Father O’Raffaello - I can’t remember his real name but that’ll do - talked my poor God- and priest-fearing mother into donating the bloody instrument to the parish and - mirabile dictu - I won it! ‘God moves in mysterious ways’, said the wily priest when he came to tell us and he christened me ‘Lucky’ as a sort of joke. I was only young so the name stuck. It’s more ironic these days I have to tell you. And my mother once told me that she thought my winning the piano invalidated all the merit she had earned in God’s eyes in donating it to charity. But the good man, with fine casuistical logic told her she was twice blessed.’
‘Christ,’ said Min with feeling. She hardly knew what to say but Michael/Lucky asked her to keep the murky story under her hat.
‘In fact, I’m surprised that I’ve told you - because it’s the first time anyone’s asked me pr’haps.’
‘What happened to the money? It reminds me of the medieval indulgences and the end justifies the means.’
‘I have no idea what worthy cause it went to. Can you imagine getting away with something like that these days? Did you have something called Peter’s Pence in New Zealand? I once heard that it went into a special Vatican fund to buy and sell arms - a truly noble cause.’ Michael stared at Min to get her reaction and he was surprised to see tears welling up in her eyes. In spite of it she smiled and said,
‘We was had Mister!’
As he drove home after dropping Min off at her place, Michael/Lucky reflected on Min’s character. He had the feeling that she had been hurt in the past. She was a mixture of the dogged and the vulnerable and he felt a real empathy with her while at the same time he sensed a “noli me tangere” side to her personality. As he reflected on the situation which various expats found themselves in, the word ‘waifs’ popped into his conscious mind.
‘Waifs and strays - that’s what we are, washed up here on these unfamiliar shores without entitlement.’
An incredible lassitude surged through him all of a sudden and he lay down for a few moments which became a whole night and he woke in broad daylight fully clothed, with a sour taste in his mouth.
Chapter 23
Mr Telephono as Min had come to think of him, was as good as his word and he arrived while Yushi was having his first class for a week or two. She had struggled against the wall of heat to get home in time to prepare some work for him and thought how wonderful it would be to have transport. Her tolerance of deprivation had worn thin in the months since her arrival.
To her annoyance, there was no boiled water in the refrigerator when she got home and she was dying of thirst. Would she risk some tap water with its minuscule aquatic additives? The only other fluid was a half bottle of whisky and that did not appeal. So what the hell!
Yushi wanted to talk about his girlfriend and he asked Min to teach him words of endearment and descriptions of physical attractiveness. Min felt awkward trying to think of expressions which she was not in the habit of using, so was rather relieved when the telephone man and his assistant arrived. The latter had a ladder which he propped against the tree which doubled as a telegraph pole and rolls of wire slung over his shoulder. He set to work and his superior came into the house and sat down with a sheaf of paperwork from which he read questions, some of which seemed to Min to have little relevance to the installation of the apparatus.
She apologised to Yushi who was not at all put out. (’It’s OK. It’s OK.’) Mr Telephono asked Yushi about the burglary to his surprise and then said his brother was a policeman.
‘Local people think all Japanese are rich,’ he volunteered, making Yushi rush to denial.
‘Not true! Not true!’ he claimed almost angrily.
Min pointed out that he was a volunteer and could earn more money in Japan but this cut no ice apparently because the questions were resumed and Min felt her colour rise. There was a polite knock on the wire door and Mr Telephono called ‘Come in,’ without looking up from his papers. The young assistant smiled tentatively at Min and asked her permission to install the shiny black contraption which would transform her life. She wanted to hug him and tell him he was her favourite man in the world at that moment, but she simply said ‘Of course - go ahead - thank you so much.’
When he had finished and the forms were filled in the young technician stood politely waiting for further instructions and Min asked him if he would like something to drink.
Mr Telephono said ‘What drink?’ and Min suggested tea but it wasn’t welcomed so she then said ‘Whisky?’
Yushi went out to the kitchen to find the glasses while Min went to the cupboard near where they were sitting to get the whisky. There was just enough but the young assistant said he would like tea if possible.
When they had toasted the new telephone Yushi asked what the number was. He wanted to write it in his notebook along with the romantic vocabulary he had already written. They had forgotten to bring the number with them and Min could hardly hide her disappointment.
‘I will ring you tomorrow when I get to work.’
‘I will be teaching.’
‘I will come to see you after you are home in the afternoon.’ After the two men had left in their nifty pickup Yushi said,
‘You look exciting now.’
‘I wish I did,’ Min quipped. ‘I think you mean excitED. She sighed.
Yushi knocked his forehead as he always did when he made a mistake which had been corrected in the past. Why was this - ing versus - ed so difficult to get across? Min wondered. There must be a way to do it but she was feeling tired and wanted to be on her own after the events of the afternoon. As soon as Yushi went she would go to bed without a meal. She was not at all hungry.
She looked at the shiny black thing on the wall. It was a miracle. How she had taken so much for granted before she had come to this place. It was like going back to an earlier time when she was very young and her parents bought their first washing machine; that was so marvellous that only her father used it for quite a while and it was wiped clean and dry after every wash. Then it was a second-hand car which took them to church on Sundays but didn’t go to the beach because the sand and the salt air weren’t good for the engine. Gradually these acquisitions became run-of-the-mill and the only thing left to strive and long for was a television. Min had left home by the time her parents had bought one of those. Her father did not believe in acquiring anything until you could pay for it outright and Min grew up thinking that something called Time Payment was delinquent. Lay By on the other hand, had no such moral laxity attached to it because you didn’t get the goods until they were paid off.
‘Mr Telephono as you call him, wanted an excuse to come back and see you.’
‘Dinah don’t be devious. I’m sure it was an honest lapse of memory.’
‘Yeah. I suggest you call round at the post office on your way to college.’ Suddenly the thought of the detour in the morning made Min feel weak and she told Dinah that she’d be in touch the next day.
‘Welcome to the twentieth century dearie. See ya.’
Chapter 24
Polly made a cake and took it Eturasi’s house when she went for her next lesson. She thought Luatasi might have returned and it would be a welcome home gift. However that was not the case but Eturasi was pleased and they shared it with a drink of homemade lemonade.
‘My mom is an expert cake maker and it’s only now that I’m learning to try my hand.’
Eturasi asked Polly about her family and was surprised when he heard that she was a twin among six children.
‘Catholics,’ she laughed. ‘My mother is Spanish and my father’s parents were from Ireland. What hope was there?’ She laughed again and Eturasi simply gave a polite little nod. It was not a moment to discuss birth control. Instead he said,
‘Let’s talk about glottal stops.’
They practised ‘Hawai’i’ instead of ‘Ha-wy-ee’ and Polly told him about her idea of singing her sentences. They went on with identity and introductions, glottal-stopping with enthusiasm. Eturasi found himself charmed by Polly’s unselfconscious manner and thought that Iosefa might get too distracted if he took over any teaching.
She asked if she could bring her tape recorder to the next lesson and
Eturasi agreed.
‘You could copyright your lessons and give up your day job.’
All the way home, Polly practised the latest sentences miming as she went, and was ready to introduce herself to Jim.
But he wasn’t there and he hadn’t told her he would be late. His bike was in the porch so perhaps someone had picked him up in their car. Polly told herself that she should be prepared for changes to the routine and Jim’s freedom was also hers. The success of the cake gave her the idea to try pancakes - another favourite at home - because they had at last found maple syrup in the supermarket. Their food tastes were similar with some classics from their different heritage.
Another Throw of The Dice Page 8