by Carola Dunn
Rebecca discovered she enjoyed the rôle of teacher, especially when Esperanza came down for a half hour’s instruction. The little girl’s enthusiastic interest in Yaga Baba and her wandering izba delighted her.
“I can hear better if I sit in your lap,” Esperanza suggested hopefully.
As she lifted the child, Rebecca surprised a look of satisfaction on John’s face. She could not imagine why he should be so pleased that Esperanza liked her.
* * * *
John had chafed all evening at Lady Parr’s demands on her companion. When her ladyship returned early from a round of visits next day, claiming a headache and insisting that Rebecca abandon the lessons to attend her, he reached a decision.
“Teresa, I’d like word with you,” he said as the others straggled out of the library.
“Of course. What is it?” His cousin resumed her seat and looked at him expectantly.
He ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know quite how to put it. You are worried about whether Annie will be able to look after Esperanza, are you not?”
“A little. It is no great matter.”
“You must have noticed how fond Peri is of Rebecca already. Ned and Mary adored her too. And she is a good teacher, isn’t she?”
“Excellent.” Teresa smiled at him affectionately. “I fancy I can guess what you mean to propose, but I wish you will tell me anyway.”
“Take her with you! Rescue her from that abominable woman. She can continue our lessons and I daresay she will not mind helping with Esperanza. Besides, she will be a companion for you, too.”
“Annie has always provided all the female companionship I need on our travels.”
“But Annie is only a servant, after all. Rebecca is a lady, refined and sensitive.”
“And spiritless. I do not mean to disparage her, but she has not one half of Annie’s courage and capability.”
“You wrong her!” John thought of Rebecca’s life with her uncle and her bold escape. That story was not his to tell, but he could remind Teresa of the river rescue. “I told you how she saved that urchin from drowning when she might have climbed out by herself. Admittedly, her disposition is retiring. That does not indicate a lack of bravery.”
Teresa frowned. “Perhaps you are right, though she gives an impression of timidity, and you cannot deny that she is far from lively.”
Her searching look brought a slight flush to John’s cheeks. “If she is really so timid, she will refuse to go, but she deserves a chance at something better than a life of slavery with Muriel’s mother,” he protested.
“I am loath to condemn anyone to that fate!” Teresa’s eyes danced. “It was bad enough being her protégée. Oh, very well, John, I will speak to Andrew about it. I expect he will be delighted to keep his Russian instructress, if she agrees to go and if Lady Parr can be persuaded to grant her permission.”
“Bless you!” John caught her hands and kissed her cheek. “I’ll not allow that her ladyship has any say in the matter, though, if Rebecca chooses to come with us.”
“I doubt she will make so adventurous a choice,” she warned.
He shrugged. “If she prefers her present life, at least I will have done what I can to rescue her from it.”
He was aware that his suggestion had surprised and puzzled his cousin. He found it difficult to explain to himself why he was so concerned over Rebecca’s fate. It must be that having saved her life he felt a certain responsibility for her, he decided, trying to ignore his apprehension at the thought that she might refuse.
Later that afternoon, Teresa reported to him that Andrew was very much in favour of the plan.
“You had best broach it to Rebecca at once,” she continued. “She will have preparations to make if she is going with us, and we cannot delay the voyage to wait for her.”
“I think you had best ask her.”
“Why? It is your notion, after all.”
“But it is your daughter she will be looking after, and you and Andrew will be her pupils. Besides, I don’t want her to get it into her head that I...well, the sort of notions that you females get into your heads.”
“You think that the slightest expression of interest will start any female setting her cap at you? Of all the vain, self-satisfied, conceited...!”
“Of course you are different,” said John hurriedly. “All the same, I wish you will ask Rebecca.”
Unable to deny that considerable numbers of predatory females had indeed thrown the handkerchief in the direction of her eminently eligible cousin, Teresa agreed.
The opportunity arose after dinner. Tom and Andrew had gone off to play billiards. Lady Parr was temporarily occupied in criticising her daughter’s performance on the harp. Rebecca was wondering tiredly whether she dared slip away to her chamber when Teresa took a seat on the sofa beside her.
John lounged nearby with an unconvincing air of listening to the music. He appeared to Rebecca to be trying to lurk inconspicuously, no easy task for a gentleman of his size in an elegant drawing room. Teresa’s words distracted her.
“I have a great favour to ask of you.”
“A favour? Of course, anything I can do to help.”
“Wait until you have heard me out. I want you to come with us to Russia.”
“To Russia!” She was so astonished she could not think of anything more sensible to say.
“We are loath to lose your help with our language studies, but quite apart from that, I have noticed how fond Chiquita is of you. You must have heard that we are worried that Annie will not be able to care for her properly. It would be such a relief if you would agree to help look after her.”
“She is a darling, and I have thought that I should like to take care of children, but…to Russia!”
John abandoned his pose of inattention. “Do say you will go. Indeed, I hardly know how we shall manage without you. I need a great deal more coaching, you must admit, or I shall be quite useless when I arrive. And surely you cannot prefer your present life to such an adventure. You may never have such a chance again.” His voice was low, to avoid being overheard by Lady Parr, but his eager impatience with Rebecca’s uncertainty was obvious.
It frightened her. To be sure, Teresa would be there, but Sir Andrew would be her employer, with authority over her.
And Lord John, how would he treat her once he was no longer her pupil? The role in which she knew him best—indulgent uncle—would be left behind, and she could not guess what sort of man he might turn out to be.
“You must come!”
His imperious demand was too much for her composure. Half blinded by tears, she fled.
Lying on her bed in the darkness of her chamber, curled in a knot of misery, she felt a fool. Teresa must think her behaviour extraordinary, an inexplicable response to a generous offer. No doubt the offer would be withdrawn, for no one would want to employ a governess of such excessive sensibility. John, too, must be disgusted with her. Though he knew her past, it was not to be expected that so self-confident a gentleman should understand her fears.
There was a soft knock at the door. Before she could answer Teresa came in, carrying a branch of candles which she set on the dressing table. Rebecca scrambled to sit up, blotting her eyes with the back of her hands.
“I’m sorry,” she choked out.
Looking unwontedly grave, Teresa sat on the edge of the bed and patted her shoulder. “John did not mean to upset you. He is greatly distressed. I bear his most sincere apologies.”
“Oh no, it was not his fault. Indeed I am sorry to be such a peagoose.”
“He told me that he should have known better than to press you, after you honoured him with your confidence.”
There was a questioning note in her voice. Rebecca was tempted to try to explain her panic, the terror that overwhelmed her at the sound of an imperious male voice. But though they had somehow slipped into the spurious intimacy of first name terms, she did not know Teresa well enough to trust her with her shamefu
l story. Lady Graylin, lively and intrepid, would think her a ridiculous coward.
“He must not blame himself,” she repeated helplessly.
“I wish he had not interrupted before I had time to explain properly. Of course we do not expect you to give up your present position for nothing. A governess and tutor combined deserves higher remuneration than a lady’s companion, that goes without saying.”
“That is not why I hesitated,” Rebecca protested, then she realized that Teresa was teasing her in an effort to rally her spirits. She managed to smile. “I promise you I am not so mercenary. But I need time to think.”
“Time is what we do not have, my dear. We must leave the day after tomorrow, with you or without. Perhaps talking to John will help you make up your mind. Will you see him?”
“Oh dear, I must look a shocking fright!” She slipped off the bed and peered into the mirror on her dressing table. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her face blotchy, and her hair escaping wildly from its coiled braids.
Teresa poured some water from the ewer into the basin. Rebecca splashed her face then poked a few hairpins into the disarray above.
“That will do very well,” said Teresa firmly. “He is far too concerned to notice your appearance. I do hope he can allay your apprehension, for the more I think about it, the more I see that we shall find it difficult to manage without you.”
John was waiting on the landing, leaning against the balustrade with his back to her. Dressed in black, in accordance with the dictates of the long-discredited George Brummell, his tall, broad-shouldered form was an impressive silhouette against the lights in the hall below.
Rebecca went to stand beside him.
Without looking at her, he said quietly, “Forgive me.”
“There is nothing to forgive.” She laid her hand on his arm, feeling the restless energy pent in the taut muscles. “I must learn to overcome my stupid sensitivity.”
“You have nothing to fear from me.” He turned, his dark eyes serious. “Never. Not ever, I promise you. I cannot deny that I have my faults, but brutality to women is not one of them. Will you come?”
His gentleness, his wry smile, were irresistible.
“I will come,” she said.
His natural exuberance won through. “You can come out of hiding, Teresa,” he whooped. “She’ll go with us!”
Lady Parr’s reaction to the news was quite the reverse. After a long tirade on ingratitude, she prophesied dire consequences. Rebecca listened patiently to her reproaches, but John stormed off in search of his brother.
“Tom,” he cried, bursting into the billiard room, “you must do something about Rebecca’s fortune.”
“Devil take it, you’ve ruined my shot.” Tom straightened with an indignant glare. “Just when I was about to get my revenge over Graylin.”
“Rebecca’s fortune?” asked Andrew, regarding the table thoughtfully and chalking his cue. “Do I gather that Miss Nuthall is not going to accompany us to Russia?” He bent over the green baize and took careful aim.
“Yes, she is, but there’s no knowing how long you will need her, and it is intolerable that she should be dependent on such as Lady Parr.”
“Just what am I supposed to do about this mythical fortune?” enquired Tom sourly, watching Andrew score a cannon.
“I gather her uncle receives the income until she is twenty-five, unless she marries. That seems scarcely just when she no longer resides with him. There must be some way to ensure that the money goes to her.”
“I suppose I might have my lawyer look into it. There! A hazard! All even again. But don’t mention it to Rebecca for there’s no knowing what may come of it.”
“Thanks, old fellow,” said John with a sigh of satisfaction.
Chapter 7
The bustling port of Kingston upon Hull merged with the grey overcast as the brig Daisy 0 sailed out into the Humber estuary. Standing at the rail, with John at her side, Rebecca pulled her cloak close about her. The sense of shared adventure was as frightening as it was exhilarating.
She shivered.
‘You are cold?” John asked. “Both wind and waves will pick up as we near the North Sea, I collect. We had best go below to join those blasé world travellers.”
“Is it not amusing to see Esperanza make herself at home on board?” Rebecca was glad of his steadying arm as the deck rolled beneath her. “She kindly told me I might take the bunk since she prefers to sleep in a hammock.”
“You will not mind sharing with her?” He helped her down the companionway, ducking to avoid the low beam on which he had earlier hit his head.
“No, how could I object after Teresa told us how she shared a cabin with Muriel, Cousin Adelaide, their abigail and Annie all the way across the Atlantic! And Sir Andrew shared with her brother and the parrot.”
John laughed. “I was properly put in my place for grumbling at the size of my accommodation. Only think, I have a space almost as big as a horse’s stall all to myself. At least Gayo is lodged in the saloon this time.”
The Daisy 0 was laden with cotton and woollen goods from the mills of Lancashire and Yorkshire, and machinery besides, but she had been designed to carry passengers too. The four tiny cabins and cramped saloon were adequate, if not as luxurious as Teresa jokingly claimed.
Rebecca was too busy to notice the crowded conditions. First thing each morning she dressed Esperanza, brushed her hair and tied it with her favourite pink ribbon. After she dressed herself and they broke their fast, Rebecca took the little girl up on deck for fresh air and exercise, usually accompanied by John. Most of the rest of the day was occupied in Russian studies.
Sir Andrew had decided that Rebecca and John must learn the Russian alphabet. Their first morning out of port, he sat them down at the table in the saloon with a list of letters and their English equivalents. Rebecca stared at it in dismay.
“Cheer up,” said John, “I daresay it is not as bad is it looks. Even I managed to learn the Greek alphabet without too much trouble.”
“This is derived from the Greek,” Andrew told them. “If you want something really difficult, try learning to read Chinese.”
Gayo added what was probably a pungent oath in Chinese. Andrew and Teresa took charge of Esperanza, leaving John and Rebecca to struggle with the ‘t’s that looked like ‘m’s and ‘r’s that looked like ‘p’s and a sort of a ‘w’ with a tail that was pronounced “shch.”
Each day, as soon as Annie recovered from her morning sickness and was able to care for Esperanza, Rebecca resumed the role of teacher. The time flew by, and soon the Daisy 0 was threading her way past the Danish islands. The weather was fine, and they all spent as much time as possible on deck, practising their Russian conversation as they watched the scenery glide by.
John had quickly mastered the alphabet, but his tongue still tied itself in knots when he tried to speak the language. Teresa laughed at his pronunciation, saying Gayo’s was vastly better, and though John joked about it Rebecca could see that he was mortified. Andrew, however, was not at all disturbed.
“The important thing is that he should understand,” he assured Rebecca.
So she walked the deck with him, speaking in Russian while he responded in English. She told him about her childhood, memories revived by the use of the language she had learned at her grandmother’s knee. Whenever she paused he was quick to prompt with a question, and she wondered wistfully whether he was at all interested in understanding her as well as her speech.
One sunny morning they stood by the rail, gazing at the distant line of the Polish coast. A brisk westerly bellied the sails of the Daisy 0 and she cut through the waves with a regular, gentle rocking motion. Behind them in a sheltered nook, Esperanza sat dressing and undressing the rag doll Annie had made for her, crooning to it in a mixture of English, Russian, Spanish and some African language.
Every now and then, Rebecca glanced back to make sure her charge was safely occupied. She happened to be looking when a sudden gust
of wind seized the doll’s best dress and whirled it away.
Esperanza cried out in dismay, jumped up and ran after the scrap of bright blue cloth, the naked doll clutched to her chest. Rebecca called to her, but her voice was lost in a sudden spate of orders from the duty officer and the rush of sailors to the rigging.
A stronger gust struck and the ship heeled. Rebecca reached for the rail behind her, keeping her balance with difficulty.
Esperanza was sent sprawling. John leaped towards her but the ship heeled further and she slipped towards the rail, wailing in fright. The doll flew over the side and vanished in the wind-tossed spray.
Diving across the deck, John slithered the last few feet and caught the child by the ankle. Her little hands were already clutching air above the water. Rebecca watched in breathless horror as they continued to slide, then John fetched up against the rail, too big to pass between the bars.
Sails lowered, the ship began to right itself. John rolled onto his back with Esperanza clutched to his chest as she had held the doll a moment since.
Rebecca pulled herself towards them along the rail against the now vigorous rolling of the Daisy 0. A pair of sailors came running, their bare feet confident despite the motion. One took Rebecca’s arm and steadied her.
“Cap’n says ye’d best go below, miss. There do be a squall ablowin’ up. Seth’ll bring t’babby. That were a neatish piece o’ work, m’lord!”
The other was picking up the sobbing Esperanza as John struggled to his feet.
“Dolly!” she wept. “Dolly’s drownded.”
John took her from the sailor. His face was scraped, he was breathing hard, and he limped a little as they made their way below, but he was grinning.
“You see,” he said simply, “we sportsmen are not altogether useless.”
While Teresa fussed over Esperanza and Annie promised to make a new doll, Rebecca told them what had happened as she cleansed John’s wound. His gaze was on Teresa’s face, and he flushed when she came to throw her arms around him, kiss his good cheek and thank him fervently for saving her daughter. He watched her as she went into her cabin to fetch a salve from her medicine chest, even as he shook hands with Andrew and accepted his expressions of gratitude.