The others lifted their drinks into the air; and replies of “Hear! Hear!” “Three cheers!” and “Hip, hip, hurrah!” were heard around the table as guests touched glasses.
Lord Matlock then gestured to his eldest son, Viscount Wentletrap, who rose and and happily announced Isabelle was finally expecting their first child. Everyone was pleased by the news, and many were especially gladdened to see the usually surly James smile and kiss his wife’s hand. The two exchanged an affectionate glance, and again glasses were raised in congratulation. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a new baby in the family means many changes are necessary; and five months from that very evening, the couple became doting parents and a much more loving couple upon the birth of a healthy heir.
Next, George Darcy stood and said, “I have heard it said ‘Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart;’ and I have first-hand knowledge this is true.” He gazed fondly at Lady Anne and then continued, “I am delighted to welcome into our family the two extraordinary young people who have captured the hearts of my son and my eldest daughter. Marriages made for love are surely heaven sent. Then again, so are thunder, lightning, hurricanes, and hail. So, may all their troubles be merely tempests in teacups. Family and friends, please join me in toasting the upcoming marriages of Miss Elizabeth Bennet to Fitzwilliam and Mr. Ellis Fleming to Georgiana.” Best wishes and the sound of clinking crystal filled the room.
Between the fourth and fifth courses, Mr. Bennet arose and said, “First, I must mention both my future sons-in-law are as fine fellows as ever I saw; and I am prodigiously proud of them for choosing such remarkable women for their brides. As I grow older, my lovely wife often reminds me I am an incurable rheumatic; so I wish to pay tribute to our three happy couples by quoting Homer: ‘There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.’ May you long confound your enemies and continue to delight us with your love.” He was about to raise his glass but remembered to add, “Oh, and if a stalemate is ever a problem, I hope you will be as patient as my dear Mrs. Bennet, who frequently has to listen to me tell the same jokes over and over.”
With the various wines served during meal courses, and all the champagne toasts, Charles Bingley, seated next to Anne de Bourgh, had become a wee bit foxed; but he stood and proposed his own toast to his three friends and their fiancées. “‘No sooner met but they looked; so sooner looked but they loved; no sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy; and in these degrees have they made a pair of stairs to marriage.’ William Shakespeare wrote those lines, and I just recited them from As You Like It. But why is it we recite at a play and play at a recital? Sorry. I became lost in thought, and it was unfamiliar territory. In fact, I spent half my time here attempting to come up with something witty to say, so I am obviously a half-wit. Please do not pore over my words, but pour more champagne, and let us drink to my very fortunate friends and their poor, unfortunate brides.”
After dinner, the ladies left the gentlemen to their port and made their way to the music room, where the prodigiously accomplished Miss Mary Bennet entertained them with Beethoven’s Pathetique. Servants carried in trays of sweets, tea, coffee, and hot chocolate; and Mrs. Bennet, who was especially fond of the latter beverage, remarked, “Men are like chocolate … sweet, smooth, and usually head right for your hips.” She immediately blushed upon realizing she was in very refined company but was gratified when all the other women laughed, even Lady Rebecca Fitzwilliam and the medicated Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
The gentlemen did not linger in the dining room but joined the ladies during the second movement of the sonata. When Mary’s exemplary performance was completed and appreciatively applauded, Fitzwilliam Darcy asked his betrothed if she would care to take a stroll in the garden with him. The night was crisp and clear, and he wanted to spend time with her under the stars and perhaps share a kiss. He helped Elizabeth bundle up in her pelisse and said, “You realize, love, when we reside in Northumberland during the winters, we may have to forsake the great outdoors for the grate indoors. The weather will be colder than that to which you are accustomed. While we can, let us take advantage of this fi-nite and do some stargazing.”
They walked in the garden, arm-in-arm, away from the light of the windows in order to better see the night sky. Darcy settled Lizzy in his arms with her back against his chest and spoke softly near her ear. “Among your other amazing accomplishments, are you also an amateur astronomer, Elizabeth?” When she shook her head, he pointed toward to a point of light in the sky and said, “That, my dear, is the dog star.”
“Are you certain, Fitzwilliam? I do hope you are not teasing me, for this stellar lesson must be absolutely Sirius.” She turned to face him, and he knew he was about to be teased by the glint in her eyes, the arch of her brow, and the sassy smile he loved so much. “Hmm, Mr. Darcy, I wonder what would be the correct term for a mutual physical force attracting two bodies. But again, the gravity of the matter must not be taken lightly.”
“Ha, hardy har. I thought you said you had no knowledge of astronomy.”
“Well, my father did teach me a bit, sir. So allow me to test your own stellar knowledge. Which constellation is also an Irishman’s drink?”
Darcy searched for a possibility, but having Elizabeth in his embrace distracted his thoughts. “I shall probably kick myself when I hear this. What is the answer?”
“O’Ryan’s Belt. Really, Fitzwilliam, your knowledge of heavenly bodies is certainly not a force with which to be reckoned.”
“I must not decide on my own performance.” He wrapped his arms firmly around her and continued, “However, you were correct heavenly bodies have a very strong attractive force, Lizzy.”
She giggled and said, “Why do I have the feeling you are no longer speaking of celestial objects, sir?”
“You are a very quick learner, sweetheart, and I am starry eyed. Astronomy lesson over – anatomy lesson next. Kiss me and discover the affect you have on my poor heart. It races whenever you are near, and …”
A footman’s “Ahem” cut through the night and pulled the young lovers apart. “Excuse me, Miss, but you are needed inside. Lady Anne and Miss Darcy request your opinion on some wedding arrangements.”
The chaste kiss he had bestowed upon Elizabeth amongst the branches of the oak tree in the park had merely whetted Darcy’s appetite for more, and he had anticipated and planned for their first passionate one to be that evening under the stars. An embarrassed and contrite footman, who stood fifteen feet away, could hear the gentleman’s frustrated sigh.
Elizabeth felt the exasperated exhalation ruffle the curls atop her head. “Sorry, Fitzwilliam. We were lucky to have those few moments alone. There are still many last-minute details to be considered before we all leave Town for Derbyshire.”
“I fail to understand why you have to be so personally involved. Our mothers, together with Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds at Pemberley, are taking care of all the preparations for the ceremony and celebration.”
“I do not believe I have ever seen you pout before, Mr. Darcy. You look like a spoiled little boy, and I hope our sons will look just like their father.”
“Sons, Elizabeth? How many children do you foresee in our future? Similar to your parents, we may be blessed with five lovely daughters before an heir arrives.”
“If such is the case, we shall simply have to keep trying. As I said before, practice makes perfect, Mr. Darcy; and I know you do strive for perfection.”
Bingley had not corresponded with his sister during the first two blissful weeks of her absence. To be perfectly honest, due to being so wrapped up in rapt attention to Anne de Bourgh, he had not given much thought at all to Caroline. So when a letter finally arrived from Staffordshire, Charles was only a trifle curious why it might be in his aunt’s slapdash and slipshod handwriting rather than his sister’s fastidious penmanship; however
, he was more than a trifle peeved, grieved, and discontent with its content.
Dearest Neffew,
Smudgething has ocurd of a most serious nature; blot I am afraid of alarming you, so be assured your uncle and I are find. Please excuse the way I right, which has been described as smudgelar to yours; we both have a tendency to mispell, leave out half our, and blot the rest. Today I am under pressure and am at present tense. The bumblebloth relates to your bacon-brained sister, for smudge has fled to Gretna Green in Sotland with a fiend of yours, a George Wackhim, from nayboring Derbyshire.
Bingley’s heart raced while he paced and thought with distaste, Fiend, indeed! His name, dear aunt, is actually Wickham. Just the same, if he has in any way compromised Caroline, whack him is what I shall surely do! Steps were retraced, and he braced himself as he sat and faced his sister’s disgrace.
Although we were surprised by the actual elopement, the match itself was not holy unexpected. The young blot presented hisself to us at the assembly here in Tutbury the night falling Caroline’s arrival, and your uncle and I remembered his name as being that of one of your Cambridge fiends. His familyarity with you, in addition to your sister’s prays of his home on a fine estate, led us to believe he was off good character and fairly flush in the pockets. Therefore, we smudgesequently aloud Wreakharm to call on Caroline, and Mrs. Teak chaperoned during his visits. We all assumed the growing attachment …
Attached growth, more like, Bingley thought as, with the utmost impatience, he instantly turned the page over and continued to learn how Wickham had wreaked harm and havoc on his family.
… would follow the normal coarse of curtship and engagment. Obviously our conjecture was blot and naïve. The two rascals fled Saturnight about twelve o’ the clock but were not missed till yesterday morning at eight while we ate. Caroline did smudge a few lines informing us of her intention, and your uncle immediately departed in poorsuit.My dear Charles, I wish this may be more intellijibble; blot my head is so bewildered I cannot answer for being coherent. I have just now been advised by express post there is reason to fear cork-brained Caroline and her lecherous lover are not gone to Regretna Green at all; and we are now anxious to be assured a marriage between your smudge and the blot has, in fact, taken place. Unable to locate the rapskillions, your Uncle Bart did discover George Wreckhart is not an astute owner after all, but rather the son of an estate stewart. Imagine our surprise! The Darcy family of Pemburly is certainly well respected in this region and very much smudge. My husband visited and spoke with the senior Mr. Workhim, who has no knowledge of his son’s enloopment. Apparently the young rake was on an important errant for his parent and is expected to return to Pembloty tomorrow. Your uncle is staying at an in inn Lamptown awaiting the arrival of the wretched wastrel and our poor retch of a niece. Whatever the outcome, your sister has now been brought to point non-plus and will have to become riveted to your fiend. If convenient, nefpew, I earnestly beg you to come here as blot as possible. Hopefully it will not be long before Caroline reappears.
Your loving aunt,
Rhea Piers.
Charles Bingley flung the ill-written pages onto his desk, restlessly paced back and forth again, raked both hands through his hair, and exclaimed, “Holy heaven and bloody hell! I have been a friend to that fiend for years, so I know him too well to doubt his intentions. How dare the cad dally with my dear sister! I shall now have to commit Wickhamicide.”
He suddenly remembered Fossett was lurking in the hallway and kept further thoughts to himself. Although he would not put it past Caroline to deliberately engage in an elopement, he had difficulty believing his sister would pass up the opportunity for a fine wedding with an attendant and all its attendant finery. But, perhaps, in her current fragile state, neither her virtue nor her understanding would preserve Caroline from falling an easy prey.
I, who knew what he was, should have warned my relatives of Wickham’s rakish character. But since Tutbury is a three-quarter-hour ride from Pemberley, how could I have known they would even meet? This chiding and chastising myself for being chary is uncharitable. Chivalrous Charlie, old chap, you must take charge for a change, make choices, chart your course, and give chase. My chief concern is the cheerless challenge of keeping Caroline’s chastity in check from chicanery. Once achieved, I can then cherish choking that churlish smirk from the cheeks of my cheating, checkered chum.
“Whew! I am glad to get that off my chest.”
Charles was such a charming, chipper chap, he chafed at not being cherubic. He settled on the chintzy chesterfield in the chilly chamber with the chipped chimneypiece and chatted with his churlish valet, childless housekeeper, and chubby coachman. While chugging tea and chomping on a chewy chunk of cheese, he cheerfully churned out chores to those chosen servants.
Preparations for their master’s departure immediately got underway; the feat was a fait accompli following forty-five minutes of feverish, frenetic frenzy. Fossett, the forbearing foyer footman, finally heard, “Fetch me a few books at once. Quickly, man!” Bingley was Tutbury bound within an hour, literary works in hand. The chosen literature consisted of two volumes on loan to him from Miss de Bourgh; and at the last minute, Bingley thought to have his dear Anne advised of the sudden, but unavoidable, departure.
Once settled as comfortably as possible in his equipage, he looked at the titles and chose The Excursion by Sally Forth instead of Primitive Transport by Orson Carte. But Bingley could not concentrate. His mind was more agreeably engaged as he meditated on the very great pleasure that a pair of strong fists could bestow on the face of a handsome skirt-chasing roué.
Unfortunately, his sudden departure would not make one whit of difference in his sister’s witless affair. By the time Bingley appeared at Mrs. Rhea Piers’ Staffordshire doorstep, Caroline’s fate had already been sealed with a kiss in a Lambton chapel in the neighbouring county of Derbyshire.
Before the journey to Pemberley, a hiatus was needed from all the harried purchasing, planning, packing, and preparing for the triple wedding. George Darcy, Lady Anne, and their three grown children, along with Elizabeth Bennet and Ellis Fleming, traveled in two carriages to Lambeth, on the south bank of the River Thames. The Darcy family possessed season tickets to Vauxhall Gardens, so the entire party was admitted to the pleasure garden without having to pay the admission fee of three-and-sixpence. Their plan was to stroll around the grounds for a while and then watch the fireworks display as soon as darkness fell. However, the evening became increasingly foggy; and because of the weather, it was doubtful the spectacle would take place that night.
Darcy and Elizabeth sauntered along without direction and soon lost the others. There was too much to be thought, felt, and said, for attention to any other objects such as people, statues, or the increasing drizzle. They soon discussed their first meeting; and the gentleman said, “Lady Catherine was of infinite use, inadvertently, of course. Had Mother and Father not been urgently summoned to Kent, my arrival at Pemberley would have been delayed until much later in the day; and I would certainly have missed your visit. Such a scenario is unthinkable to me now.”
Elizabeth added, “Let us not forget we also have Dust Bunny and Pug-Nacious to thankfully acknowledge. Had they not escaped from the music salon at that particular moment, Jane and I would not have encountered Georgiana and Anna. By the time you appeared, we would have already departed. It is certainly a bit unnerving to realize so much rested on such an insignificant incident.”
“I absolutely believe we were destined to be together, Elizabeth; and somehow, somewhere, someday our paths would have eventually crossed.”
She disagreed. “I am not so certain. The Bennet family usually prefers to remain in Hertfordshire; and I cannot conceive any reason for you ever ending up in our neighbourhood, unless to attend one of our infamous Meryton assemblies. If such had been our fate, you would have shown up impeccably dressed and made an entirely different first impression.”
“We have already dis
cussed this on more than one occasion; nevertheless, I am still wretched that I appeared before you in such an ungentlemanly manner. First impressions can be vitally important, and I sincerely regret the one I made was as an asinine barbaric buffoon.”
Elizabeth smiled up at him and said, “I must impress upon you a more impressive impression could not, in any possible way, have been made upon me. I am in no humour at present to give consequence to your intolerable belief your buffoonish, barbaric appearance was not handsome enough to tempt me.”
His astonishment was obvious; and Darcy looked at her with an expression of mingled incredulity, mortification, and desire. “This revelation is … stimulating. I was certainly very far from expecting my emergence to make so strong an impression. I had not the slightest idea at the time of it being ever felt in such a way and have long been most heartily ashamed of my attire that afternoon.”
“Come now, Fitzwilliam. I cannot easily believe it. I know you saw me staring quite brazenly and appraisingly, and you must have thought me devoid of every proper feeling. Then I teased you most unmercifully when Jane and I were first invited to dine at your townhouse.”
“Well, I admit I caught you eyeing me rather blatantly; and although I strived to be perfectly calm and cool as a cucumber, my feelings were quite the opposite. I assure you such warm regard was entirely mutual.”
“Oh, please do continue and give a faithful account of your vigorous admiration upon first beholding me.”
“Are you fishing for compliments, my love? Very well, I shall indulge you this once. At first sight, I wondered how I could possibly withstand such beauty; and when you first raised those sparkling, intelligent eyes, I was well on the way to being lost. I could not resist such impertinence; and then you proved the liveliness of your mind, and I … I thought it wrong to be so instantly attracted to my younger sisters’ friend. Nonetheless, I could not stop thinking about you and … desiring you. Forgive me, Elizabeth, but you are a very beautiful woman. When you dined with my family that first evening here in London … well, you must realize the effect you had on me, for I acted like a blushing, stammering schoolboy with a crush.”
Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge Page 26