“Do you know where our old class is right now Mum, where all our friends are, the ones we grew up with? They are in London, on their final year excursion. That should have been us. Snow skiing with our friends, trips overseas. Do you know where our excursion is this year Mum? It’s to Rockhampton! An even deeper hell pit than this one!” She sobbed a little more along with her sister before she continued to bombard her mother with everything she had until now, been unable to say. Carnegie was silent. She knew her daughters were right.
“We don’t fit in here, we don’t have any real friends here. We don’t even have a life here! We hate this place and always have. And I’m sorry for telling you. I don’t want to hurt you and that’s why we never said anything. We just thought that maybe, somehow, this would be a good thing. That they would be happy for us, and that maybe we would be special and not strange anymore… Just like we used to feel.” They turned to each other and continued to cry in their mirror image embrace.
Carnegie was mortified by now. She hadn’t even taken any of this into consideration. This was her fault. It was because she had been selfish this happened in the first place. If she could, if she had the money, she would have packed up right then and there, moved back to Paddington and sent those kids to London with their friends.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t possible. She didn’t have the money and life would just have to continue in the “pits of hell” as the girls were proclaiming, for a little bit longer.
It wasn’t really that Bundaberg was a bad town, it was a fantastic place. Sadly, you can’t run from your problems or personal disasters. No matter how much you try, they always come back to haunt you in one way or another. Carnegie went into shock when her marriage fell apart and chose flight, instead of fight. The outcome of her seclusion from the world now proved to be a disaster. The wounds of the past were again cutting deeper than they had reached before. She made herself a coffee and damned her ex-husband straight into the arms of Satan himself.
Carnegie Lane, mother of four, idol to inanimate objects and almost Author, suddenly and unexpectedly felt the heartache in that box of pain. She could never, ever, forgive him for any of it.
People are strange when you’re a stranger
Faces look ugly when your alone.
“People are Strange”
Written by Robby Krieger and Jim Morrison – Credits to The Doors
The Doors – Strange Days Album – 1967
7
Nate Bowman and his band were performing the routine sound check at four that afternoon. He tried desperately to put everything aside and concentrate on what he was doing. He hadn’t sighted Kat since their argument, and he hoped that she was ok. He was half way through the practice run of a new song when she walked into the stadium and gave him a gentle wave. He smiled back at her, knowing he’d been forgiven and in her own way, she was hoping the same thing. There was too much love rolling around under the bridge of their lives to ever be angry for long.
Katalie had already decided that she had been out of line and had no right to tell him who he could or couldn’t talk to. She also knew her brother was smart, and as long as none of it interfered with the book and the potential of it in its own right, who was she to care if he was friends with Carnegie Lane. She walked up to her brother when the sound check was finished and everyone was happy with the levels.
“Want to start this day again?” She asked with a smile.
“Hi Kat! Great to see you, pleased you’re here!” He said in a cheeky voice. Then he stretched out his arms and gave her a hug.
“I’m sorry kid, I should have been more thoughtful.” He mumbled gently in her ear.
“I’m sorry too. I had no right to tell you to stay away from her.” She squeezed him a little tighter.
To them, it was over. Now, once again, Nate was wondering if everything was ok on Carnegie’s end. As soon as he got a chance, he was going to call her and find out.
It was a little after one in the morning when Carnegie’s phone rang. She was sitting in her bed with a box of tissues and a folder of baby photos. Reminiscing on happier days and wondering how the sum of her life, could end up in a flood of tears like it had managed to do today. She wasn’t even looking at the time to even care who was calling, and if it had been one more stupid teenager with something horrible to say, she was quite determined that she would have the number changed at the first available opportunity.
“Hello?” she said gently, yet with an edge of defense.
Nate just knew from the voice she wasn’t a happy camper.
“Hi Carnegie… It’s Nate. I’m just wondering if everything is alright. Was there an aftermath?” He was genuinely concerned.
“Well… do you want the Yep its fine version, or the truth?” She asked cleverly. She hardly knew this person, yet felt an intense need to cry all over his phone call.
“Truth is good. You have one hour of my full attention!” He answered in an attempt to be supportive.
Well, in so many ways, he should never have given her that much leeway. She started at the divorce, moved on to the shock of it, the money drying up, then the move, and the conversation with the girls. She continued right up to what she thought of the first strands of sunlight when the night became morning. Nate Bowman, in tearful sobs that lasted just over 30 minutes, got the complete run down of her life.
“And now….they told me…how miserable they are here…And it’s all my fault. I brought them here cause I was selfish, and they are so sad, and all these bitchy girls… Just let one come to my door, just one and I think I will eat them alive… You know… the phone hasn’t stopped ringing for over two hours with horrible girls on the other end, oh and a few boys… but wow…I am so… ANGRY!” She finally took a breath.
Nate said nothing for a moment. He had not been expecting any of this, yet he strangely felt responsible for most of it.
“Carnegie…it’s all good. I can fix this. I can make this really easy for them… and for you.” He had an idea brewing in his head. Just how he would do it and continue to keep his promise to his sister to keep Carnegie and himself out of the press, in the same headline, was going to be the challenge. More than anything, he wished he was there and could wrap those kids up in cotton wool, along with their clearly devastated and overly distraught mother.
He remembered the day his father died. Different, yet the same in a way. He was gone, regardless of how he did it. To his mother, his death had been unforgivable. She stood at his grave on more than one occasion, placing flowers with one hand and slapping the head stone with the other. Telling him how hard it was without him, and how dare he leave her alone. In Carnegie’s case, she had no choice but to leave in a way. At least Nate and his siblings still had the family home. From what he had just gathered, she didn’t even have that to rely on.
Nate had one more tour to do after this one before he hit Australia. His personal assistant was walking past just at the right time. He grabbed her arm and began to verbalize a plan.
“I want you to find out if we can do an unplugged concert in Bundaberg in Queensland when we go to Australia. We have lots of time between Italy and Australia, and I know everyone wanted a break, but this is one extra day, possibly two. It means a lot to me to make this happen. It also means a lot to someone else who matters to me. Let me know how you get on.” In his eyes, Leonie knew Nate had made up his mind. No amount of reasoning would even begin to change it.
The thought of Carnegie Lane being sad, or her children being picked on because of something that even remotely involved him was unacceptable. He wanted every nasty teenager to eat their words. As for Sobian and Olivia, more than anything, he wanted to make them feel ‘special’ again.
There is one unavoidable truth that doesn’t change, no matter where in the world you are. The sun comes up and the sun goes down, the hours pass and life moves forward. It doesn’t always mean that it’s perfect, the way it moves, the fact is… It simply does.
Katalie Bo
wman returned to London, and received the documents by express post from Carnegie Lane, confirming the working relationship between them. Nate Bowman went to Italy and began his tour with a succession of interviews and his team of assistants worked hard to arrange an “Unplugged” Concert in Bundaberg Australia, before their main tour began.
Carnegie Lane moved heaven and earth to make her girls happy, to little or no avail, and Sienna, her youngest, continued to come home with head lice.
Connor, her son had discovered the word “Cootie” from an episode of South park, and began taunting his sister, telling her she was a “Cootie Head”. Even though it probably wasn’t the worst thing he had ever found to tease her with, it was sufficient. With all the attention going on the older bizarre twin sisters, it was enough. She would scream out in her defense, which would send poor Carnegie out of her room, or her daughters room, or stop her from doing whatever it was, and lavish that young one with more attention than she really needed. She would also threaten Connor with near death experiences if he didn’t just STOP!
It was late, and finally after an exhausting day, Carnegie was in the bath…enjoying the heat…and just praying for things to get better. Most of all, she wanted out of Bundaberg. The girls were adamant they couldn’t take much more of the insults. Bullying was such a sad thing to deal with. Nowadays, kids had to deal with the online abuse and taunts as well as the texts and the face to face snickers. There was no escape for either of them. Even putting on one of Sheeva’s Disciples albums, which had always given them such joy, now made them feel sick to the bottom of their stomachs. For Olivia and Sobian, it simply hurt to be alive.
Once in her room, snuggled up with her warm and comforting PJ’s on and, with the leave in conditioner spread evenly through her unruly hair, Carnegie checked her email. She was so happy to see there was something waiting for her. Although she had had some correspondence from Katalie, some back and forth about editing and some minor changes, it was Nate she wanted to hear from the most. Simply because she was afraid she scared him off with her sobbing mess of a phone call the night he called from Berlin. It had been the last time she heard from him at all. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the mail was indeed from his new email address.
-----Original Message-----
From: Nate ([email protected])
To: Carnegie Lane ([email protected])
Sent: Wed, July 6, 2010 2:15 pm
Subject: Good news and Better News just for you
Hi Carnegie,
Hope everything is ok, hope you are fine. I couldn’t get you out of my mind, and felt so sad for you and your girls. I wanted to contact you sooner, although you know how it is. Life happens sometimes. Now, I wanted to tell you before but didn’t get a chance. On the 26th July, we are playing in Brisbane, we have 3 shows there. I have tickets for you and the kids, all four of them. I also have 2 rooms booked at the same hotel we are staying at, and will organize your flights down there and back. Don’t go saying no, you can’t accept it, you will because I want you too. OK! I need the spelling of the kids names, make sure I have it right so that I can book those flights.
After your phone call, I made some plans. Starting tomorrow, you will hear on the radio that we are doing a “special” unplugged concert to take place in Bundaberg. I’m doing this for Sobian and Olivia. This will be their moment to prove themselves in the world of teenage adversity. I think it’s about time life went in their direction. Just this once. So, you don’t need tickets, I’ll sort it out when we get there. The proceeds to this concert go to a local charity. Don’t tell the girls, let it be a surprise. Oh yeah, the concert is on the 22nd July. Keep that date free won’t you. And maybe the day before.
I really do hope you are OK. I can’t wait to see you. I have one request though. Please can I have another copy of your manuscript. I miss the story so much.
Love Nate x
PS. This is my new email. :) You know what to do.
You could have knocked her down with a feather right then and there. Carnegie read that email over and over again. She pinched herself twice and contemplated throwing water on her face, just to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. Her heart was racing at a million miles an hour.
Nate Bowman was coming to Bundaberg, just for her, just for her girls. Somewhere in between the minimal contact, her manuscript and the drama of her life, something was going amazingly great! She could hardly sleep that night.
More than anything, she wanted to tell those girls the real reason he was going to be here, although she was good at surprises. Christmas and birthdays had taught her there was nothing better than a surprise.
When the radio announced the concert the next morning while the kids were getting ready for school, both of those girls looked at their mother. They had excitement in their eyes, that faded as quickly as it came and reverted to visions of the torment they would receive at school about it.
“You can go to that concert if you like, both of you can, in fact, we could all go together.” Carnegie said gently, not giving anything away.
“Why? It will only mean more ridicule for us. This could have been a great thing a month ago. Now it is just more salt for the already festering wound.” Sobian was really down in the dumps. Carnegie went over and gave her a hug.
“I promise you both, that as soon as we can, we will leave and go back to Paddington if that’s what you want. Although your just about through your last year. You have three months of school left. Just put your heads down, ignore the critics and think about what you want to do next year. Remember this. No matter what ever happens, I do love you. Above all things, you matter to me. All of you do.”
Carnegie Lane knew that soon enough, her girls would find redemption for their mistake and come up happier than they had been in a long time for it. She also knew that if she had been them at the time, she would have done the exact…same…thing.
Katalie Bowman had the phone call of her life. One of the major publishers was more than interested in the book. In fact, they loved it. She rounded off her conversation, and went straight down to the office of her boss. This was it. The book had a home, and Kat had her first deal off the ground. Today was a good day.
“Ross, “Impossible Things” got an offer, a really good one. I did it!” She said excitedly, forgetting to knock.
He looked up from his paperwork and smiled. He had read the story, and knew it wouldn’t take long.
“So, Miss Bowman. I think drinks are on me. What do you say? Let’s take the afternoon off and go to the pub.” He sat back in his chair, and put his hands comfortably behind his head.
He was genuinely happy for her. He knew she was ready to make this work, and it was in his best interest he let her try. The world of publishing was beginning to change and right now, it needed fresh young minds with enthusiasm. Minds that were still flexible enough to move with the times and use the internet social networking in their favor.
“I would say, it’s a date, let me get my bag.”
Katalie left his office, happy to be getting the afternoon off and the opportunity to pick Ross’s brain, all in her own time.
Carnegie Lane moved the last of the reluctant out the front door and slowly down towards the bus stop. She had a house to clean and like no day before it, she was determined to get it perfect. Once inside, she prepared herself, and beginning with ‘The Edge of the Deep Green Sea’ one of her favorite Cure songs and three hours later ending with ‘Plainsong’. She rocked her world into domestic perfection, aided and abetted by her favorite band.
She stopped for coffee, and decided to email Nate and thank him. He had made her happy. Someone she had never met was right now giving her more joy than she believed possible.
-----Original Message-----
From: Carnegie Lane ([email protected])
To: Nate ([email protected])
Sent: Thurs, July 7, 2010 12:15 pm
Subject: RE: Good news and Better News just for you
Where do I begin, to say thank you. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, or for my girls. They are really sorry, and right now, believe your concert is about to be salt on an already festering wound. They do have an interesting way with words.
Tell me, what’s your favorite song? You must have one, other than one of your own. Where are you staying when you are here in Bundaberg? If there is anything that I can do to help, let me know I will be happy to assist if I can. Well I’m off before I bore you with my ramblings of nothing. Have a great day. Enjoy Italy! See you soon.
Carnegie x
She decided to quit while she was ahead, before she said something fan orientated and stupid. There had to be common ground found here at some time, something that formed a link, something that could continue this friendship without her feeling like she was below it. She would love to pick his brain about his career, it was something, more than anything, she had wanted. It was a dream that ended when she woke up married and with four children running around her feet.
It wasn’t that she regretted any of it, she just had a huge resource of untapped creativity that needed to get out. It was buried deep and with the book, it had come to the surface of her life, promising change.
It was four in the morning when Nate Bowman heard his blackberry beep at him. He wasn’t asleep as usual. In fact, he had not long been home. Earlier in the night he attended an industry event with the members of his band and a few other visiting celebrities. It was full of local Italian starlets and socialites. He was photographed in his Armani Jacket with a beautiful model on his arm, just as they had wanted him to be. The free advertising was priceless to them.
He smiled for the myriad of cameras and paparazzi that had all gathered like wolves out the front of the venue. Later, when his driver took him back to his hotel, they had followed. Most were maniacs on the road, none of them prepared to lose the entourage that accompanied him wherever he went. His driver knew the drill and drove carefully, surrounded by the ruthlessness of the cameramen, all cutting in and out of traffic in a hazardous way. They were vying for that perfect shot, the one where he looked directly at their camera, as if he was posing just for them. The full length, unobstructed picture that could tell any headline story they chose to give it.
The Unexpected Life of Carnegie Lane Page 7