They had to hunker down twice more as one of the guards passed by, but finally Mercury managed to hollow out a tunnel that connected to the cavern below. Cool air flowed out of the opening.
Without waiting for further advice from Perp, Mercury slid down the tunnel, dropping to a cold stone surface some eight feet below the bottom of the shaft. Perp followed after, falling to the floor of the cave with a thud.
“Damn it,” grumbled Perp. Perp hated not being able to fly. He never walked anywhere if he could help it; his chubby little legs weren’t built for it. But inside the Balderhaz field, neither of them could perform any miracles without the help of the Anti-Baldherhaz Field Gun, and flying counted as a miracle, Perp’s vestigial bird-like wings notwithstanding.
They now found themselves in the complete darkness of the cave. Angels have extremely sensitive vision, but even they can’t see in total darkness. Unfortunately, neither of them had thought to bring a flashlight. One of the drawbacks of ordinarily being able to count on violating the laws of physics was that you tended to overlook certain mundane necessities.
“Point the thing at me,” said Mercury.
“It won’t work,” said Perp. “You have to be like thirty feet away.”
“OK, then back up thirty feet and point the thing at me.”
“Back up where?” Perp cried. “I can’t see where I’m going! I could fall into a chasm!”
“OK, fine. I’ll try moving forward.”
Mercury took a step, tripped on a rock, and fell face-first onto the stone floor.
“I’m going to try crawling,” he said.
A dim light appeared in front of them. “Can I be of assistance, gentlemen?” a woman’s voice asked.
“Oh, no,” groaned Mercury, getting to his feet.
“What kind of greeting is that?” asked the woman. She was holding a small flashlight in her hand. She was flanked on either side by a large demon. It was too dark to identify either of them, but Mercury couldn’t mistake the one in the middle. Tiamat.
“Look, Tiamat,” said Mercury. “We’re just looking for some friends of ours who got thrown in here by mistake.”
“By mistake!” cried Tiamat. “No one gets thrown in Possum Kingdom by mistake! There’s a very strict process for vetting new occupants, consisting of that insufferable little harpy Michelle deciding whether you’re a big enough threat to take up some space in her precious secret prison. Let me guess, you’re looking for that twerp Ederatz and the chick with the purple hair.”
“Are they here?” asked Mercury.
“They’re here,” said Tiamat. “Good luck finding them, though. This place is like a maze. Speaking of which, how did you… oh!” She had spotted the hole in the ceiling. “Does that lead… outside?”
“Yes, but…” Mercury started.
“Gamaliel!” Tiamat barked to the demon on her right. “Round everybody up. We’re getting out! And do it quietly. If we alert the guards, we’re screwed.”
“Wait!” said Mercury. “Get Suzy and Eddie too, or I start yelling for the guards.”
“If you do that, we’ll all be stuck here. Not a smart move, Mercury.”
“Your choice,” said Mercury. “Either we all get out or we all rot in here forever.”
Tiamat regarded Mercury with a bemused look on her face. “How did you get in here? There’s no way you drilled through twenty feet of solid rock without somebody noticing, unless you used interplanar energy. But that’s impossible inside the Balderhaz field.”
Mercury said nothing. Perp remained standing quietly behind him, holding the hair dryer behind his back.
“Unless you found some way to counteract the field,” said Tiamat, peering around Mercury and shining her flashlight on Perp.
“I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” said Mercury. “Just get my friends out of here.”
“Merc!” hissed Perp. “You can’t…”
“Deal,” said Tiamat. She turned to Gamaliel. “Get the twerp and the girl too. And hurry.”
Chapter Thirty-two
East of Dallas, Texas; August 2016
“I can’t believe you made a deal with Tiamat,” said Perp.
“What choice did I have?” asked Mercury. “It was the only way of getting Suzy and Eddie out of there.”
“Remind me who Tiamat is again?” asked Suzy.
She, Perp, Mercury and Eddie were sitting at a picnic table at an otherwise deserted rest stop on Interstate 20, just east of Dallas. Well, three of them were sitting at the table. Perp was sitting cross-legged on top of the table, which was the only way he could remain at eye level with the others without levitating. Tiamat and Gamaliel were sitting at another table, kitty-corner to them, presumably plotting the resurgence of Chaos Faction. The rest of Tiamat’s minions, and whoever else had been in the prison—there were a lot of prisoners, and it had been pretty dark—had scattered to the four winds. Evidently Tiamat had instructed them, wisely, to split up in case of an escape, to rendezvous at some predetermined place and time in the future.
“The one sitting over there,” said Mercury. “The one who looks like she’d steal the silverware from your wedding reception.”
“She’s a demoness,” said Eddie. “A bad one. She’s come pretty close to world domination a few times. If there’s anybody on Earth more dangerous than Michelle, it’s Tiamat. She’s the leader of Chaos Faction.”
“And we just let her out?” asked Suzy.
“Like I said, no choice,” said Mercury.
“Uh, you could have left us in there,” replied Eddie. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, that place was awful. Dark and wet and cold and filled with terrifying characters, but I’m not sure I want Tiamat’s release on my hands.”
“It’s not on your hands!” Mercury snapped. “It’s on mine. It was my decision, OK? I couldn’t let Suzy spend the rest of her life in that place. No offense, Eddie, but you’re immortal. You’d have gotten out eventually. But if we didn’t break Suzy out, she was going to die in there. That’s not OK in my book. Also? Whatever you think about Tiamat and her gang—and I’ll admit she’s a malicious, hateful bitch who deserves to be thrown into a dank pit for the next thousand years—the fact is that it’s not Michelle’s job to decide who gets thrown in prison forever. Nobody in Heaven or Earth gave her that responsibility. I don’t even know who most of those people in that prison were, or what crime they were supposedly guilty of. I mean, obviously they were never convicted of anything in a court, or they’d be in a regular prison. If we give Michelle the power to lock up anybody she wants, sure, she’ll start with loathsome, putrescent maggots like Tia…” He paused as uncomfortable looks came over the faces at everyone at the table. “She’s standing right behind me, isn’t she?”
“Don’t stop on my account, Mercury,” said Tiamat. Gamaliel, who had been talking with Tiamat a moment earlier, was nowhere to be seen. “Other than some regrettable rhetorical flourishes,” Tiamat went on, “you were doing quite well. You’re exactly right about Michelle. She’s a usurper and a tyrant. And while I’ll admit to occasionally acting on some dictatorial impulses of my own in the past, my goal in forming Chaos Faction was not world domination, but the precise opposite. I’ve come to the sad conclusion that I’m simply in no position to take over the world, given the current disposition of angels on this plane. Michelle now commands not only her own army—the bulk of which was trapped on Earth along with her—but also Lucifer’s intelligence structure, and by extension, most of the U.S. government. We can’t beat her on her own terms. The only solution is asymmetrical warfare.”
“You mean terrorism,” said Suzy.
“Terrorism is a word used by the strong to denigrate the only tactics available to the weak,” said Tiamat. “But let’s not get into a semantic discussion. My point is that we are all on the same side.”
“We’re not terrorists!” yelled Suzy.
“That’s not what I’ve heard,” said Tiamat. “But again, semantics. We all want t
o see Michelle’s security apparatus disbanded, correct?”
There was general agreement around the table.
“And if I’m not mistaken, you possess a device capable of counteracting the effects of a Balderhaz Cube, correct?”
Perp glanced at Mercury, who nodded. Perp pulled the Anti-Balderhaz Field Gun from his diaper and set on the table. Mercury and Suzy both shuddered.
“A hair dryer?” asked Tiamat.
“It’s had some modifications,” replied Mercury.
“Balderhaz,” said Tiamat.
Perp was looking at the ground. Mercury said nothing.
“Come on,” Tiamat said. “It has to be Balderhaz. Nobody else could do something like that.”
“So what if it was?” asked Mercury.
“If you know where Balderhaz is, I know how we can stop Michelle.”
“Bullshit,” said Mercury. “Hey, where’d Gamaliel go?”
“I sent Gamaliel on an errand,” replied Tiamat. “I’ve got a lot of demons to look after. He’s tying up some loose ends. Now answer my question. Where’s Balderhaz?”
Mercury and the others regarded Tiamat dubiously.
Tiamat laughed. “I don’t blame you for being skeptical, but you have to believe me. This is the only chance we have to stop Michelle. Balderhaz and I built the MEOW device that used to keep the angels and demons out of Washington, D.C., you know. The place is only overrun now because that plane hit it. All we have to do is build another one. Balderhaz and I can do it.”
“Even if you could,” said Mercury. “And we could get it to Washington, D.C. and activate it, all it would do is chase Michelle’s agents out of D.C. This isn’t the eighteenth century. They have phones and email now. Michelle can run the government just as well from the suburbs in Maryland.”
“Sure, she probably could, eventually. But her hold over Lucifer’s agents is already tenuous. And don’t forget that these demons are undercover as advisors and secretaries. What do you think will happen when they all run screaming from their offices simultaneously and are never seen in the city again? That’s a career-ending move, even in Washington, unless you’re Dick Morris. Even if nobody ever figures out what actually happened, Michelle’s shadow government will be ruined. She’ll still be a threat, of course, but she won’t be running the federal government anymore.”
“What’s in it for you?” Mercury asked.
“I told you, I don’t want Michelle in control of this plane any more than you do.”
“Because you want to be in control of it yourself.”
“Well, obviously,” said Tiamat. “But first things first. We can go back to being enemies as soon as we’ve dealt with Michelle.”
Mercury glared at Tiamat, ruminating on her words.
“Merc,” said Perp. “You can’t tell her where Balderhaz is. He trusted me. I’m one of the few people who knows about his hideaway. If I had known you were going to—”
“Will you pardon us for a moment?” Mercury said to Tiamat. He grabbed Perp around the waist and carried him far enough from the group for them to have a private conversation.
“Stop that!” Perp spat, as Mercury set him down.
“Sorry, Perp. Can’t have you flying in public, and we don’t have time for niceties. We have to bring Tiamat to Balderhaz.”
“No!” Perp cried. “He’ll never forgive me!”
“Perp, the fate of the entire world is at stake here!”
“You’ve already played that card like three times, Mercury.”
“Because the fate of the world keeps being at stake! It’s not my fault! How long do you think he’s going to be able to hide anyway? You know what Michelle’s capable of. She’ll have this whole continent under martial law within six months. How long do you think it will take her to get to Costa Rica? You know she’s got to be looking for him right now. And what happens when she finds him? Michelle holds all the cards, that’s what. She’ll have her army, Lucifer’s intelligence network, the U.S. military, and Balderhaz, all in her pocket.”
“Balderhaz would never…”
“I know you like the guy, Perp, but he’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic. I don’t think it will take that much for Michelle to convince him to come to work for her. And even if you’re right, and he holds out, they’ll just lock him away for the next ten thousand years. I don’t trust Tiamat any more than you do, Perp, but we have no choice. If there’s any chance she and Balderhaz can build another MEOW, we’ve got to take it.”
Perp’s brow furrowed and his lips pursed in concentration. Mercury knew he was trying to think of some objection, some reason not to betray Balderhaz, but there wasn’t anything to say.
“Put eggs in warm water to bring them to room temperature before using them for baking,” Perp offered at last.
“I hear you, brother,” said Mercury. “I hear you.”
Chapter Thirty-three
Provo, Utah; August 2016
Gamaliel touched down just outside Provo, Utah. He could easily have walked the last few miles, but it was easier just to accept a ride. Single women tended to pull over when they passed Gamaliel by the side of the road. He was built like the guy kicking sand in the wimp’s face in the back of old comic books.
So he rode into town in a RAV-4 with a chatterbox single mom with a bad dye job and lips full of collagen. She offered to buy him a drink, but he demurred, having her drop him in an unkempt industrial area about a quarter mile from the nondescript building that was his destination. The RAV-4 lingered by the curb for a good minute after he got out, and Gamaliel shuddered as he imagined the over-primped woman leering at his hindquarters. Human women could be downright creepy.
Eventually she sped off to whatever soccer game or AA meeting she was on her way to, and Gamaliel turned toward the building. The building was surrounded by a twenty foot chain link fence topped with barbed wire. Two armed guards stood at the entrance, but Gamaliel didn’t slow down or say a word to them. He glanced at one of the guards and the gate swung open. He walked through the gate and approached the building.
It was one of the ugliest buildings he’d ever seen; a great big concrete block with a sagging pitch roof and walls coated with some kind of weird façade of river pebbles. There were no windows, and the doors were of the flat steel variety, badly dented and painted an uninviting shade of brown. It was, in sum, about the last place one would expect to find a technological innovation that was about to change the world.
Gamaliel approached one of the doors and knocked. Just below eye level, at a slightly cockeyed angle, was a label that appeared to have been created by one of those little clicky label makers you can buy for three dollars at an office supply store. It read:
MENTALDYNE
After a couple of minutes, the door opened and a pasty, balding young man beckoned Gamaliel to come inside. He wore a nametag that read “Zanders.” A tablet computer was tucked under his arm.
Gamaliel and Zanders walked past several clean rooms and laboratories where technicians wearing anti-static suits labored on various projects, finally reaching another steel door. Zanders punched a code into a pad near the door and then opened it. They stepped inside a small vault lined with shelves. The shelves were empty except for a single small cardboard box.
“This is the first batch,” said Zanders, motioning to the box.
Gamaliel picked it up. “How many?”
“Two hundred,” said Zanders. “That’s what she asked for. Will that be enough?”
“More than enough, I should think,” replied Gamaliel. “Have they been tested?”
Zanders frowned. “They’ve gone through the same testing as the other chips.”
“That’s not what I mean,” said Gamaliel. “I want to know if you’ve tested the… additional feature.”
“Oh!” exclaimed the man with a smile. “Of course.”
“And?”
“I’ll let you judge for yourself.” He pulled a cell phone from his pocket and made a call. “Tr
acey?” he said after a moment. “I need you to come down to vault six. Right now, please.”
Less than a minute later, a young woman dirty blond hair appeared at the door to the vault. She was cute in a mousey sort of way. “Sir?” she asked quietly. “You asked for me?”
“Hello, Tracey,” said Zanders. “This is Mr. Gamaliel. He’s a very important Mentaldyne investor. Mr. Gamaliel, this is Tracey Bowen. She works on the assembly line for us. How long have you been with Mentaldyne, Tracey?”
“Eight years, sir.”
“And do you like it here?”
“Yes, sir. It’s steady work and the management treats us nice.”
“Very good, Tracey. How old are you?”
“I’m thirty-three.”
“Kids?”
“Two, sir. Max is ten and Lily is eight.”
“Are you married?”
“No, sir. My boyfriend… he left two years ago.”
“But you’re doing OK? You and the kids?”
“We get by alright. Especially since that bonus last month.” Tracey grinned, revealing a mouth full of sparkling but slightly crooked teeth.
Zanders turned to Gamaliel. “Tracey volunteered to test the new chip. We gave her a small token of our gratitude.”
Gamaliel nodded impatiently. “Could we dispense with the small talk and move on to the test?”
“Just establishing a baseline,” replied Zanders. “I want it to be completely clear that Tracey is just a typical Mentaldyne employee who has not received any coaching or preparation for this test.”
“Sir,” said Tracey, “am I going to be taking some kind of test? I’m not very good at tests.”
“Yes,” said Zanders, “but there’s no need to worry. This is a going to be a very easy test. You’re just going to do what feels natural to you. Do you think you can do that for me?”
Tracey’s brow furrowed. “I guess?”
“Excellent,” said Zanders. “Tracey, could you please flap your arms and cheep like a baby bird asking its mommy for a worm?”
Mercury Revolts: (Book Four of the Mercury Series) Page 19