by Mandy Baggot
Roger sped off up the driveway and out of the gate, just missing the half a dozen photographers camped outside.
Twenty Five
There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.
Freya was Dorothy. Jonathan was the cowardly lion. Nick was the tin man. Willis was Toto. Her father was the Wizard of Oz. And the Yellow Brick Road wasn’t made out of bricks, it was made out of gold ingots and Freya wasn’t seeking the wizard’s advice. The cowardly lion was chasing her. He was telling her to stop and listen. Toto was weaving in and out of her legs trying to trip her up. The tin man, who she was trying to reach, seemed to be getting further and further away. The Wizard of Oz was laughing, over and over again and the noise was getting louder and louder until she couldn’t hear herself think. She wanted to scream.
Freya snapped open her eyes, her breathing rapid, her face damp. Her head throbbed and her throat was sore. There was a familiar, eye ball penetrating, bright, white light above her head. It was then she knew she was in Carlton General Hospital again.
‘Hi,’ Nicholas whispered. He touched Freya’s arm and leaned closer to her from his seated position at the side of her bed.
‘Hi.’
‘How are you feeling?’
‘Was I shot or something? Because I feel like I’ve been shot…in the head.’
‘No, no shooting. Just another collapse.’ He stroked the hair off her face.
‘I had a horrible, horrible dream.’ She tried to sit up.
‘Dr. Stone says you’re to lie still. He’ll be here soon. Tell me about the dream.’
‘Well, it was kind of the Wizard of Oz but without the singing and dancing. And my father was the wizard, so I think I was doomed from the outset.’ She gave half a smile.
‘Freya, about what Jonny told you tonight…’
‘Can you go and hurry up Dick Van Dyke? I’d really like to go home and finish the Ben & Jerry’s I started,’ she interrupted.
‘He isn’t lying about being your half-brother. It’s the truth.’
‘I can’t believe he’s fooled you. Who d’you think is behind all this? My father. And my father will pay anyone to say anything just to piss me off. This is all part of some elaborate master plan to make my life shit. Although he really didn’t need to employ Jonny again. The dead birds were kind of freaking me out anyway.’
‘Eric told me himself.’
Freya inhaled a breath and held it there.
‘Going to see him was the right thing to do. It was the only thing to do.’
‘You were going to keep it a secret from me. You lied to me about going to an interview! All those things we said about trust. All the guilt you made me feel about keeping my meeting with Jonny from you and days later you were lying to me about my father!’
‘Freya, please, calm down.’
‘No, I won’t calm down. You know how I feel about that man. You know how dangerous he is and you didn’t listen. And now he’s playing you. Now he’s created this ridiculous story about Jonny to hurt me and push us apart and you’re falling for it.’
She began to pull at the drip, trying to disconnect herself.
‘Freya, what are you doing? Don’t be stupid. Come on, lie back down.’
‘You’ve played right into his hands.’ She started to untie her hospital gown.
‘Freya, stop. Just stop and sit down. Just for a minute.’ He grabbed her arm.
‘I don’t want to stop. I want to get out of this place.’
‘I don’t think your father’s behind the break ins.’
‘My God, he really took you right on in, didn’t he? What did you expect him to say to you? Yes, Nick it’s me who’s been terrorising you both. It was me who half-killed your driver and broke into your home. Offer you brandy and cigars did he?’
‘He as good as held his hands up about Mike. But I really don’t think he’s behind the other stuff.’
‘And did you come to that conclusion before or after he told you this bullshit about Jonny being my half-brother?’ She started to dress.
‘Freya, I know you’re upset but it doesn’t really change anything for us. It doesn’t change anything for you and me.’
‘No of course it doesn’t. Because it isn’t true.’
‘I don’t see what your father had to gain by telling me if it wasn’t the truth.’
‘He’s trying to mess with my head. That’s what he does. I keep telling you that, Nick. Why don’t you believe me?’ She pulled her top over her head.
‘It isn’t that I don’t believe you. I just think…’
‘You just think what?’ She stopped getting dressed and stared at him.
‘I think you’ve got a lot on your mind at the moment.’
‘And?’
‘And I think you need a break. You need some time away. Time away from everything.’
‘What I need is for everybody to get off my back and leave me alone.’ She rushed to dress and then let out a breath and locked eyes with Nicholas.
‘Look, I just want to get home. Can we go home? Can we talk about this later? Please,’ she begged.
‘I’d rather you saw the doctor first.’
‘He probably isn’t going to tell me anything you haven’t told me already.’
‘Why don’t I go and speak to him? I’ll see if he’s happy for you to go. Then maybe we can call in tomorrow and he can check you over then.’
Freya nodded.
‘OK, I won’t be a minute.’ He left the room.
She put her hands to her temples. Her head was bursting and she was still feeling panicked, but she wasn’t going to admit that. She couldn’t stand spending one more moment in the hospital.
A couple of minutes passed by and then Dr. Stone entered the room, closing the door behind him.
‘Do I need to sign forms? Here, I have a pen.’ She reached into her bag and produced a ballpoint.
‘Freya, I think you know what I want to talk to you about.’ His voice couldn’t have been more serious.
‘I feel fine. I’m a little tired, but fine, honestly.’ She forced a smile.
‘I’d really like you to have a scan. I’m becoming convinced your pregnancy might be contributing to the severity of your blood pressure and the fainting. We really need to check on the baby.’
‘Can I go home please?’
‘Freya, I’m afraid ignoring the issue isn’t going to make it go away.’
‘There’s no issue to ignore.’ She raised her eyes to meet Dr. Stone’s.
‘Then have the scan. Set my mind at rest.’
‘No.’
‘What are you afraid of?’
‘Excuse me?’
‘What are you afraid of?’ the doctor repeated.
‘I’m afraid that at any moment, Julie Andrews is going to appear and you're both going to re-enact a rooftop scene,’ Freya answered.
‘Freya, I don’t think you realise the seriousness of the situation. Your baby could be in danger.’
‘This is ridiculous. You can’t keep me here, I’m leaving.’ She got up and headed for the door.
‘Then you leave me with no choice. I’m going to have to tell Nick.’
‘Hello? Hippocratic Oath! Mean anything to you?’
‘I will not allow you to put your child in danger, Hippocratic Oath or not. That would go against everything I believe in. And I really don’t think you’d deliberately put your baby at risk.’
Freya didn’t respond. She stood, frozen to the spot, her hand on the handle of the door.
‘I realise this is all a bit of a shock to you but…’ Dr. Stone began.
‘Enough. I can’t take any more of this emotional blackmail, it’s out of order. I’ll have the scan. Just get it done and get it done quickly so I can get out of here.’
‘I’ll arrange it now.’
He left the room and Freya stepped out behind him, joining Nicholas in the corridor.
‘OK?’ Nicholas asked, tak
ing hold of her hand.
‘Yes. Can we go now?’ She watched Dr. Stone disappear up the corridor.
‘Sure.’
Once outside, Freya filled her lungs with the cold, winter night air in attempt to clear her head of everything inside it. She really didn’t know how much more she could take of life at the moment. Everything seemed to be falling apart.
‘Roger drove us here but I sent him home. There was no point to him waiting around.’ He pointed the electronic key fob at Jonathan’s car.
‘What’s going on? Where’s our car? This isn’t our car.’ She let go of Nicholas’ hand and stopped.
‘No, well, it was all a rush to get you to the hospital. The Ferrari wasn’t practical, neither was the bike and your car isn’t too streamlined. Jonny insisted we use his.’
‘It was a rush to get me to the hospital so you debated which car you should drive? I can’t go in this car.’
‘I didn’t want to use it, but it was the most practical thing to do.’
‘I can’t get into this car,’ she repeated.
‘Freya, I…’
‘Aren’t you listening to me?! I can’t get in this car. It’s his! It smells of him, and my father, and the money. It will make me feel sick and…I feel dirty. I feel so dirty.’ It was then everything hit her. What if what Jonathan said was true? How did she deal with that? She started to struggle for breath. Tears fell from her eyes.
‘Hey, it’s OK. It’s OK.’ He took her in his arms, cradling her body, enveloping it in his.
‘He can’t be my brother, he just can’t be. I loved him. I loved him and we…we did things together and that’s sick! I’m sick! What must you think of me?’
‘None of this is your fault. None of it, Freya. I don’t think anything.’ He stroked her hair.
‘My family’s twisted, completely twisted. I can’t have come from them, I can’t have! I mean, if I’m going to find out anything else I’m begging I find out I’m adopted.’ She swiped at her eyes with her fingers.
‘I admit that would be good.’
‘Why is this happening? Why is everything going wrong?’
‘I don’t know. You sure as hell don’t deserve it.’
Freya took her head out of Nicholas’ embrace and looked up at him, her eyes wet and her face tear-stained.
‘Dr. Stone thinks I’m pregnant,’ she blurted out.
‘What?’
‘I don’t think I am. I mean we’re careful and I’m not even sure he’s a real doctor. I mean, he doesn’t look like a doctor does he?’ She watched Nicholas absorb what she’d told him.
‘You’re pregnant?’ he repeated.
‘I might be. But probably not. Because I would know, wouldn’t I?’
‘Well, how do we find out? Have you done a test?’
‘No…I…well Dr. Stone wanted me to have a scan but there’s no point. I mean I would know, wouldn’t I?’
‘Come on, we have to go back. We have to know,’ Nicholas said, taking hold of her hand and pulling her towards the hospital entrance.
‘But I can’t be pregnant. I mean…’
‘Freya, if you’re pregnant this is absolutely the best news I’ve ever had.’ A smile spread across his face.
‘Really?’ She still felt so uncertain.
‘Why do you sound so surprised? We talked about how we felt about children when we first met,’ Nicholas reminded her.
‘Yes and do you remember what I said?’
‘You said something about not being able to look after your houseplants.’
‘Exactly.’
‘Come on. Let’s go and find out. What are you afraid of?’ He squeezed her hand.
‘That’s what Dr. Stone asked me.’
‘And what did you tell him?’
‘I made some stupid comment about Mary Poppins,’ Freya told him.
‘Well, I’m sure he won’t hold it against you. Come on, we could be on the verge of becoming parents.’ There was thick excitement in his voice.
‘On the verge of bringing a poor innocent child into this warped, twisted, creepy, weird circus of a life we live. Is it any wonder I’m terrified?’
‘This will be a chink of light in the craziness though, wouldn’t it?’
‘It would mean we have a damn good case for suing Durex.’
‘Freya, you could be having our baby. A baby I didn’t really believe I would ever have…no matter what the doctors told me.’ He let out a breath.
‘I know.’ She could see the expectation in his expression.
‘So, let’s go and see if we have something to celebrate. What have we got to lose?’
‘Nine months of alcohol and all the dignity I ever had?’
‘But eating for two. Come on, that has to interest you.’
‘You’re right,’ she agreed with a nod. ‘A valid excuse to eat takeaway for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Take me back.’
Nicholas smiled at her, leading the way back into the hospital.
Twenty Six
The alarm clock was showing 6.34am and Freya lay in bed, staring at the piece of paper in her hand. It was a small black and white picture of a grey blob. There was just a faint outline of four stumps attached to the blob. It was a picture of their baby. She was ten weeks pregnant.
She still found it impossible to believe. She knew the practicalities of how it got there but, even looking at it now, seeing what they’d both seen on the monitor at the hospital…it still didn’t feel real. She was going to become a mother. That fact alone scared the hell out of her. The majority of the time she had trouble looking after herself. What was she going to do when she became responsible for someone else? And not just someone else, someone small and helpless. Someone who was going to look to her for everything. It was an enormous task and something she hadn’t given full and proper consideration to at any time in her life before. Now, she only had just over six months to prepare herself.
She felt Nicholas stir and he turned over in the bed to face her.
‘Hey,’ he greeted.
‘Morning.’
‘Still looking at our baby?’ He leaned up on his elbow and joined her gazing at the picture.
‘Do you think its head’s OK? It looks kind of square.’ She held the photo closer to the bedside lamp.
‘Then he or she must take after you. Have you never noticed your slight corners?’
‘Not funny.’
‘It looks perfect to me and Dr. Stone said everything was normal. The heartbeat was fine and that’s all you can ask for at this stage.’
‘I can’t believe I have the responsibility of carrying it around for the next six and a half months.’
‘I’ll do you a deal. You carry it around for the next six and a half months and I will do more than my fair share for the next eighteen years or so.’
‘You think I’m going to forget to feed it, like my houseplants.’
‘No, I just want you to know that I’m all in. I want to be there for everything. The feeding, the diapers…you name it.’
‘They’re called nappies. Please call them nappies,’ Freya begged.
‘OK, nappies. So, how do you feel about it now? I mean in the cold, almost light, of day?’
‘How do I feel about what? The baby? The fact my ex-fiancé is apparently my half-brother? Or the fact someone’s breaking into our home and chopping me out of photographs?’
‘How do you feel about the most important of those things?’
‘Eric is a no-no for a boy’s name. And Jane is definitely out for a girl’s. I wouldn’t want to give up work completely. But if we have a nanny I want to personally interview them all. Oh and I’m not breastfeeding.’
‘I’m fine with all of that.’ He leant forward and kissed her.
Freya put her arms around him, still holding the photograph. She held him close to her, breathing in the scent of him.
‘Let’s get married. Let’s just go and do it,’ she whispered.
‘Not this again. We
decided on a date, didn’t we? This wonderful news doesn’t change anything. We have six and a half months to make sure you’re a Kaden before he or she is,’ Nicholas reminded her.
‘I’m not saying it because of the baby. I’m saying it because I don’t want to wait a minute longer. I want to get married now, today. We can do that, can’t we? There must be ways of arranging it.’
‘If this isn’t because of the baby, then this is because of Jonny.’
Freya stiffened at the mention of his name.
‘I think maybe you should talk to him.’
‘Talk to him?! Right now all I want to do is throttle him! All these years and not a word. All these years believing my father paid him off when, in fact, the truth was much worse! What we did was disgusting. Not to mention illegal and what if I’d got pregnant or something? What then? We could be talking eleven fingers and a face like the Elephant Man.’ She got out of bed, grabbed her robe and wrapped it around her.
‘Freya, you didn’t know any of that at the time you were dating. He didn’t know either. Now, I’m not the guy’s greatest fan, but I’m guessing he must be feeling this too.’
‘Don’t have any sympathy for him! He’s had over ten years to come to terms with this. I’ve had about ten hours! I don’t think you can begin to understand how I feel.’
‘Of course I can’t. But I can tell you now, you can stop trying to take some of the blame. Like I told you last night, none of this is your fault. How could it be?’
‘I don’t want to see him ever again.’
‘I think you two have issues you need to be discuss.’
‘I think there are issues you and I have to discuss. Like how the hell are we going to stop people breaking into our home without getting one of those hideous twenty foot high fences. I mean, so much for motion sensors and security lighting. And if this isn’t my father’s work, then who’s behind it?’ She started to pace.
‘Freya, sit down. Stress isn’t good for the baby. Dr. Stone said…’
‘Oh no, don’t do this. I cannot put up with Dr. Stone said this and Dr. Stone said that for the next six months. And you can forget about wrapping me up in cotton wool because the over protective act doesn’t do anything for me at the best of times. It certainly isn’t going to cut it now.’