by Carla Kovach
The lounge was strewn with toy trucks and colouring books. Most of them had been pushed into a neat pile but some remained scattered on the floor. Gina stepped over a box of felt tips and sat on the settee. Pen and notebook in hand, she began. ‘You say you got a look at the man?’
‘Yes. I saw him, but I seem to barely be able to recall a thing. It was dark and although my eyes were accustomed to it, I remember feeling shaken, sick to my stomach. In fact, I could throw up now if I thought too hard about it. My hands were trembling and I remember hoping to scare him off with the knife. I couldn’t look him in the eye. I just wanted him to go away.’ Gina watched as Luke clutched the coffee cup with both hands and began to, very slightly, rock back and forth. ‘My children were upstairs asleep. I was scared for them. I just wanted him to go. I held the knife up at the window and he went. I wish I could remember more.’
‘I understand. It’s not easy, I know that much. Especially being in your position, with a strange man trying to get into your home in the night, with your children upstairs.’
Luke stared into his lap. ‘I can’t cope with all of this. I don’t know what I’m going to do,’ he said, and burst into tears. His hands began to tremble and his coffee lapped over the edge of the cup. Gina took it from him and placed it on the hearth, catching a glimpse of the photo of Deborah.
‘Something strange happened the other day,’ he said. ‘I thought nothing of it until tonight. It probably has nothing to do with what happened, but it might also have everything to do with it. I’m rambling, I have no idea, but I think it’s the same man.’ He picked up his coffee again and took a long swig.
‘What happened, Mr Jenkins?’
The man wiped his eyes and walked towards the bay window. ‘Yesterday morning, about eleven, I was standing here, looking out of the window, and there was a man sitting on the wall, over there. That’s number fifteen.’ He pointed. As Gina walked over, she made a note of the house number. ‘He was just staring at me. It only lasted a few seconds and then he walked off. He was wearing a dark hoodie. The hood was up. I can’t recall anything about his features. He was a fair way off, as you can see.’
‘You’re doing really well,’ said Gina, quickly taking notes.
‘I can’t believe so much has happened since then.’ He sat on the window ledge and began to cry. ‘I was here with Brooke, a friend. We’ve become close and I don’t know what to do. What does a person do in this situation? My missing, presumed dead wife has been gone for four years. Only now do I allow myself to move on. I meet someone I really like and just as we’re getting close, my missing wife’s baby turns up – without my wife. The woman I’m involved with has no idea. I have to tell her. Very soon, I have to explain to my kids that they have a new sister. What do I do?’
Gina stared at the wall. She wished she could wave a magic wand and make things better for the people she came across who were suffering, but she couldn’t. The world wasn’t a good place. It wasn’t all roses, cake, parties and nice things. It was a dark place, a place that she’d yet to fathom. Luke sat there, rubbing his eyes, broken. ‘I’m so sorry for everything that has happened to you. You can rest assured that I’m doing all I can. Is there anywhere else you can stay for a while?’
Luke sniffed. ‘I think I’ll send the kids to my mother-in-law’s tonight. I don’t feel it’s safe for them here and it’ll give me time to think.’
‘That’s probably wise,’ Gina replied. In a normal case of attempted burglary, she’d have thought it unnecessary, but they both knew this was different. She watched as a van pulled up. The crime scene investigator had arrived.
‘I’d best let them in,’ Luke said as he walked to the door. Gina went back into the kitchen. She made a mental note to arrange for Luke to attend the station to give a DNA sample as soon as possible. His involvement wasn’t likely, but they still had to officially eliminate him.
‘I’m finished here, ma’am,’ said Smith. ‘Good thing is, no one has been in the garden since the incident so let’s hope our unwelcome visitor has left something behind.’
‘I’m not holding my breath. He was wearing gloves and a hooded top, and it’s drizzly and blowing a gale out there. You never know though. Can you stop by at number fifteen across the road in a while and ask if they saw a man sitting on their wall yesterday morning? It was around eleven. This man matches the clothing description that has been given to us tonight.’
‘Will do.’ Smith placed his notebook in his pocket.
‘I’m going to head back to the station for an hour then I’m going home for a shower.
Gina yawned and walked towards the door. As she stepped out into the cold, she nodded at Dr Freeman as he hobbled along the path. ‘You look tired, Keith.’ A strand of his combed-over hair flapped in the wind.
‘My back’s been playing up, been keeping me up all night. I’d just dozed off and the phone went.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that. Anyway, we’ve spoken to Mr Jenkins. The perp tried to get in through the back door after gaining entry through the back gate and no one has been in the garden since. The perp was wearing gloves and a hoodie so I’m not expecting much, but you never know. Can you call me when you’re finished here?’
He nodded back as he passed her with his toolbox. ‘Will do.’
‘Thanks,’ she called as she reached her car.
Twenty-Five
She heard a dog barking in the distance. He was back. She went to turn but flinched. The pain from her tear burned and throbbed. She hoped he’d stay at the house with his mother but she heard his footsteps approaching. The key turned in the lock and he entered. She listened as he stomped up the stairs.
‘He was looking, he had a knife, that bastard had a knife and he’d have used it,’ he yelled as he slammed his hand into the door she lay behind. She remained as still as she could. She had to look like she was sleeping, that way he might just talk to himself for a couple of minutes then leave.
He unlocked the door and a shaft of light entered her cell. The oil lamp flickered and lit up the room, casting elongated, moving shadows over the walls. The last shape looked just like a rabbit. She’d played puppet shadows with both of her children. She closed her eyes and tried to think back to better times. If she thought hard enough and looked like she was asleep, he might go. She swallowed. He stopped still. Had he heard her? ‘What to do, what to do,’ he whispered, beginning to pace, taking the lamp with him. Through closed lids she could see the light flickering. The shapes, concentrate on the shapes, she thought.
The first shape was a circle, what could it be? The circle disappeared off into the distance before being replaced with another circle. The sun, she was looking at the sun. Heidi would’ve agreed. Max didn’t like doing shadow puppets, preferring colouring or generally making a mess.
He stopped pacing; she kept her eyes closed. All she could see was red through her eyelids. He was close. She felt the warmth of the lamp on her back. She needed to swallow and gasp for breath but she forced herself to breath in and out, in and out. She couldn’t show him that she was awake.
He took a few steps back. She heard him place the lamp down on the worktop outside her room. She exhaled and opened her eyes, then watched as his shadow almost filled the wall. She held her breath and closed her eyes again.
‘I don’t know what to do. What do I do?’
She ignored him and remained still.
He pulled back the quilt. She shivered as a cold draft went up her back. His cold hand rubbed her neck. She remained still. The pain in her groin and lower stomach was making her feel like heaving. He sat beside her and began stroking her back with both hands before lying next to her. He dragged the blankets over his body, spooning her. His warm breath made her shiver. A tear rolled down her cheek. Not now, she thought, please not now.
Tears flooded her face and her nose began to fill. She couldn’t stop the sniffling that came with it. ‘Boo.’ She flinched and sobbed. ‘I knew you were awake.’
&
nbsp; ‘Please, I’m tired and not feeling well.’
‘What harm do you think I’m going to bring? For heaven’s sake,’ he yelled, abruptly getting out of the bed. ‘I need to talk. I need some love and comfort. I’m always looking after you, but where are you when I need you?’
She turned and sat up. ‘I’m sorry.’ She wiped her tears away. At least he’d moved away from her. ‘What do you need to talk about?’
‘I went to the house.’ Debbie shivered. ‘I just wanted to know if Florence was there, by God I’ll kill him if she ever is. He’s not having my Florence. That bastard threatened me with a knife.’
Debbie imagined Luke being disturbed in the middle of the night. Were her children scared? Luke had seen him off. She wanted to smile but she held back. She imagined Luke there with a knife, standing in front of him. She then imagined Luke pressing the knife into his flesh and twisting it until the life drained from his body, but that’s not what had happened. Her kidnapper was standing in front of her, looking shaken but well. He removed his black hooded top and dropped it on the floor outside her room. Sweat trickled down his face and his hair was stuck to his forehead.
‘Was she there? The baby?’ Debbie almost regretted asking. He could answer or he could question her motives for asking. He stared at her before walking over and sitting on the bed.
‘I couldn’t hear her crying. Maybe she’s still at the hospital. I can’t go there again.’ He paused. ‘That man can’t have my Florence. I swear—’ He punched the bed and roared.
Debbie closed her eyes and tried not to weep. She had no idea where her little one would end up, but there was a possibility it would be with Luke. The thought of him going to her house, scaring her children and attacking her husband was too much. Once again, tears flooded her face. ‘Luke won’t have her. I promise. My mother will have her. She’s not his baby, she’s our baby. Can we please leave Luke alone now and get on with our lives, our plans?’
He stroked her hair and wiped away her tears before leaning down and kissing her on the head. ‘I will do anything you want, but I’ll snap his neck before he ever gets his hands on my child, my Florence.’ He lay on the bed and put his arm around her. ‘I’d do anything for you.’ He kissed her again.
Anything? She wanted to be unchained, she wanted to be set free, she wanted to go home and she wanted to be out of pain. She whimpered as she turned away and faced the wall. He rested next to her.
‘I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. Love is a funny thing, makes a person happy. Happiness is everything, isn’t it?’ he whispered in her ear.
She moved her hand to her lower stomach and tried to squeeze the pain away, but it made it worse. She bit her bottom lip in a poor attempt to force her sobs back.
‘Are you happy?’
Debbie swallowed the mucus in her throat. ‘I’m happy,’ she replied.
‘Do you love me?’
‘I love you.’
‘How much do you love me?’
‘I love you a lot.’
He sat up and inhaled. ‘But I need to hear how much. If you don’t tell me, how will I know?’
‘I love you more than the earth, the skies and the planets,’ she replied. That was his preferred response, the one that had helped her in the past.
‘Good.’ He lay back down. ‘I need to be reassured. Things are hard at the moment, with the baby and all. It’s hard for you, too, but you have no idea how bad it is for me. You only have yourself to think about all day. I have Mother and she’s getting worse.’
‘I’m sorry about your mother. Maybe I can help you look after her?’ She hoped that he’d take her up on the offer, but he hadn’t ever taken her up on any of her offers to date.
‘No, you’re a princess and you shouldn’t have to work hard. I will do everything and look after you too. It’s my job, my destiny, my one passion in life.’
‘But I’d like to help.’
‘I said no.’ He reached over and squeezed her throat then let go. As she coughed and wheezed, he sucked air in through his teeth and clenched his fist.
‘I’m sorry,’ said Debbie. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Okay,’ he replied. ‘Don’t ask again.’
She faced into the pillow with him lying behind her. She moved her ankle and heard the chain rattle on the floor. There was no way out. She’d tried to talk herself out in every way possible, she’d tried to run and she’d tried violence. Nothing she’d tried had worked out. Deep down, she knew there was no escape. But she also knew that by day he had a job and a normal life where he interacted with people who knew her. They had no idea what lay behind the mask he wore every day. Her only dream was that he’d one day take off that mask and reveal his true self to just one person who would help her.
He squeezed her from behind and kissed her neck. ‘I have to tend to Mother now. The old dear always seems to be searching for bread as soon as the sun comes up. I haven’t got long until I have to make the breakfast. Honey with your toast?’ She nodded. Refusal wasn’t an option. She let out a long breath as he loosened his embrace. He left, locking the door behind him, and she listened until his footsteps disappeared. The dog barked as he reached the house.
Darkness and solitude were her greatest fears and enemies, but at times like this, they were also her friends. She was now alone to dream.
She thought back to when she’d held her little one after giving birth. It had been only three days ago, but the image of her baby’s perfect little face was beginning to fade. The only thing that had any substance in her mind was the birthmark on her leg. Her baby’s memory had been reduced to a birthmark.
She cried as she tried to recall Isobel’s exact features. The images weren’t coming to her. Was that it? Was that the end? Her stomach clenched as she turned and sat up. The burning heat had spread from her perineum to surrounding areas. She smelled her hands. A sweaty, oily scent assaulted her nostrils. She wiped them in her tears, then on the bottom of the quilt. She wanted to be clean, she wanted to rid his smell from her body and she wanted to go home.
But where was home? Luke had replaced her. She had no home; she had nothing. She needed her mother. She stared into the darkness. ‘I miss you, Mum.’
Twenty-Six
Luke yawned as he prepared the kids’ lunches. He chopped Max’s cheese sandwiches into squares and Heidi’s strawberry jam sandwiches into triangles, and placed them in their respective lunch boxes. He’d decided against packing the children up and sending them to Cathy’s after the attempted break in. One look at his two children sleeping soundly in his bed had changed his mind.
He glanced at the time. Brooke would arrive in less than ten minutes. His heart quickened and his mouth was dry. He ran the tap and poured a glass of water. He’d texted her the previous evening to tell her to still come around in the morning so that they could walk together as they usually did, but he’d made it clear they needed to talk. He’d given her no clue as to what was happening in his life. The last she’d remember was their near sexual encounter and him being frosty with her since. He wished his life were simpler. He took a swig of water.
The door knocked. He opened it to see Cathy on the step. ‘Max left his PE kit at mine. I knew he needed it for today. I’ve washed it.’ She smiled. Luke moved to one side and let her in. She reached over and hugged him.
‘I don’t know how I’m going to get through today. Brooke is due soon.’ He felt a tear squeeze out of the corner of his eye as she stroked his hair and pulled away.
‘You have to be honest with her, Luke. Let her know what’s happening. You’ll get through this. We’ll do this together.’
‘I know I do, and I will. Can you walk the kids to school? Joe too?’ He couldn’t face the school run today. He knew that Cathy was also going through a lot, but he couldn’t go to the school and he didn’t want to mention the intruder and upset her further.
She nodded. ‘Of course I will. When I’ve walked them, I’ll come back and we’ll have a chat a
nd a cuppa. I suppose we need to start thinking about things.’
‘You mean the baby?’ he asked as he walked back into the kitchen.
‘Yes, I called up the social worker, Devina, to arrange a home visit, as we discussed. I thought maybe here would be a good place to start.’
Luke stared blankly out of the window.
Max stomped down the stairs. ‘Dad, I can’t find my PE kit.’
‘It’s okay. Nanny has it here. Just go and brush your teeth. And tell your sister to hurry up. You have five minutes then I need you guys downstairs and ready to go.’
Cathy held her head. ‘Anyway, we’ll talk about the baby and other things. We’re close to finding out what happened to Debbie, I’m sure of it, but I’m scared. What if some monster has her in his home, trapped? It keeps going through my mind. She’s still my baby, Luke.’ She tried to hold back her tears.
Luke placed his arm around her. ‘And I still love her. I want her back more than anything.’ Silence fell upon the pair as they stared out of the kitchen window. There was a slight frost on the back lawn. He couldn’t keep the news of the intruder from her any longer. ‘I didn’t call you, but we had an attempted break-in last night.’
Cathy pulled back and blew her nose. ‘What? You should’ve called me.’
‘There’s nothing you could’ve done. I was going to bring the kids round to yours in the night but they were tired and I didn’t want to alarm them.’
‘I know, but I could’ve been here, for you and the kids,’ she replied.
‘It’s okay. I called the police. Forensics came. He didn’t get in anyway. I think I scared him with the kitchen knife.’ Luke filled the kettle and switched it on. ‘So I have a lot to sort out today.’
‘Are the kids okay?’
‘They aren’t really aware of what happened. They were disturbed by the police being in the house but they were easily placated when I let them have my bed, hence why I’m so tired this morning. Sleeping in Max’s car bed for the last couple of hours wasn’t the best move.’ He yawned and spooned a couple of heaps of coffee into a mug. ‘Quick cuppa?’