“Who bloody well cares if I can have children? I just want my damn life back!” She pulled a loose rock out of the wall and hurled it down the cliff. It ricocheted off the rocks before dropping into a foaming blowhole between some boulders. She felt Nightshade looking at her but she didn’t turn her head.
“You’ll feel better soon,” Nightshade predicted softly. “You’re suffering from shock.” Then he swung his leg over the wall and dived toward the sea.
The wind caught his wings and he shot out over the surging steely water. Despite her mood, Ruby’s breath caught at the magnificent spectacle he made, and she ached inside. If only he had come to her at night, made love to her, held her as he had last time she visited Cornwall. But he hadn’t and he wouldn’t. Not unless she could have his children, apparently.
He circled and headed back toward the house, leaving her alone again. A few minutes later, Ruby heard footsteps. She turned to see Cordelia approaching, who, tall and slim, had an elegance that spoke of a bygone era even though she wore nothing fancier than a blue waterproof jacket and black slacks. Ruby felt short, fat, and scruffy in comparison.
“Hello, Ruby.” The woman smiled. She bent to stroke the dogs then perched daintily on the wall, her hands clasped in her lap. “Do you mind some company?”
Ruby didn’t respond, and they sat in silence for a moment.
“I love the sea,” Cordelia said. “Water’s my element.”
Ruby sensed the gentle swirling energy around Cordelia that related to her watery nature. It made her wonder something else: “Do you think I’ve got an element?”
“The Mistress is above that, I think,” Cordelia said.
It was appropriate that they all spoke about the Mistress as though she were someone else, because Ruby didn’t feel anything like the powerful demigoddess she was supposed to be. She felt ordinary, powerless, useless.
“Are you still upset about Troy?” Cordelia asked.
“No.” An image of Troy’s face flashed into her mind, blood exploding out of his mouth, and she slammed it away.
“I didn’t like him when I first met him.” Cordelia wrinkled her nose thoughtfully.
“Neither did I.” The awful tightness around Ruby’s chest eased at the admission.
“I know this is a strange thing to say, considering that he dresses like a dandy, but I think he’s a bit of a man’s man. You know, a my-power’s-bigger-than-your-power type of macho attitude. I don’t think he gets on very well with women.”
The memory of Troy’s love for his beautiful, golden-haired daughter blossomed inside Ruby and stole her breath. She shook her head, tears filling her eyes. “You’re wrong.” She tried to blink the tears away, but they flowed down her cheeks. “When he touched my stones, bonded with me, I saw his memories. He has a daughter he adores, and the last thing he thought of as he died was the woman he loves.” She sobbed and pressed a hand over her mouth.
“Oh, Ruby.” Cordelia put her arm around Ruby’s shoulders. “What happened wasn’t your fault.”
“It feels like it was.” Ruby wiped her tears on her sleeve. “Every time I close my eyes, I see the blood soaked through his jacket and dripping off his hair. I felt him die! His body was a broken mess.” She sobbed against her sleeve. “He saved my Magic Knot, then died to release me from our bond, and I didn’t even like him! What kind of a heartless bitch does that make me? I bet you all hate me.”
“Would you believe that Niall doesn’t like his father much?” Cordelia said. She angled her head slightly to one side. “I just think they’re too alike to get on.”
“Nightshade liked Troy,” Ruby replied and sniffed.
“Nightshade loves you,” Cordelia said. “He’s worried about you. He asked me to come out and make sure you were all right.”
Ruby was about to retort that he should have come out himself, but he had and she’d sent him away. Maybe the reason she wasn’t seeing much of him was because every time he came near her she bit his head off.
“I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I thought I’d get the Mistress’s powers sorted when I touched my Magic Knot, but nothing’s happened. I felt like this when I was young, as though I should be able to do something special but I never could.”
“Maybe you’re blocking it,” Cordelia suggested.
“Why would I do that?”
“Grief over Troy’s death, fear of what you’ll become . . . .” Cordelia shrugged. “There’re lots of potential reasons.” She spread her palm in front of Ruby. “May I?”
When Ruby nodded, Cordelia placed her hand over Ruby’s heart and closed her eyes. After a few moments, she moved her palm lower and concentrated again. Eventually she opened her eyes and sat back. “The potential for power is there. You feel like a flower bud so tightly wrapped you’re hiding your glory. You might just need time to blossom. But it’s possible you’re sabotaging your own potential.” She paused. “Are you frightened of your power, Ruby?”
“Perhaps.” Ruby closed her eyes. She was frightened of her power. First her mother expected her to use this damn magic to find her father, and Ruby had failed. Since then it had been nothing but a pain in the butt, ruining her life. It gave people expectations of her she couldn’t fulfill. She didn’t want the responsibility. Dealing with it had been fine when she didn’t have time to think of anything except her own survival, but seeing Troy and Dragon die had brought everything into sharp focus. She wished she could pass on the Mistress’s gift to someone worthy like Cordelia. Then Ruby could go back to painting. If she messed up a canvas, the stakes weren’t so high.
* * *
Nightshade stepped soundlessly into Ruby’s bedroom and paused, listening to her shallow, even breaths to ensure that she was asleep. He’d tried to help her come to terms with what she’d seen, but he had no idea what was going on in her head. Every time he opened his mouth he managed to say the wrong thing. So he’d kept his distance, hoping she’d recover from the loss of her home and the trauma of witnessing Troy’s death. So far, her mood hadn’t improved. Even Cordelia hadn’t managed to heal Ruby. She thought that Ruby needed to accept who she was and embrace her power before she would recover.
Eager as he was to be with Ruby, he’d decided he must be patient and wait for her to want his company. He was reduced to sneaking into her bedroom at night to spend time with her. But that time wasn’t nearly as enjoyable when she was asleep.
He halted beside the bed and stared down at her peaceful expression, as though she didn’t have a care in the world. One of her feet hung over the edge of the mattress, poking out from the covers. A smile pulled at his lips. Everything about Ruby was a little untidy and reckless. With her piercings, her spiky hair, and her torn jeans, she was the very antithesis of Troy. No wonder the two didn’t get on. The concept of them bonded actually made him chuckle now. They would probably have ended up killing each other.
Nightshade walked around to the far side of the bed and slid carefully onto the mattress so as not to wake her. Ares and Apollo were snuggled against Ruby. They lazily lifted their heads and wagged their stubby tails in welcome. He lay on his side, facing her, imagining the feel of her lips against his and the sweet taste of her blood on his tongue. Ye gods, this was torment, lying so close, smelling the floral fragrance of her skin, listening to the steady beat of her heart, yet unable to touch her.
He must have dozed off, because now Ruby was curled against him, her face pressed to his chest, her warm breath whispering across his skin.
“I love you, Ruby,” he whispered against her hair, then gently extricated himself from her arms and backed off the bed before he did something to wake her. He ached for her, but he wouldn’t come back to her bed until he was certain of his welcome. Now that he understood this feisty woman was the partner he’d been searching for all his life, that it was her he needed, not a man, he wasn’t sure he’d survive the pain if she turned him away.
* * *
Chapter Nineteen
Ruby w
oke with a start. Someone was in the bedroom with her. She raised her head cautiously and stared into the darkness. Apart from the faint glow of the moon shining between the curtains, she saw nothing, but she sensed a presence.
“Nightshade?”
A few beats of silence passed.
“I didn’t mean to intrude,” he said from the direction of the door. “I just wanted to make sure you were all right.” The door handle clicked, and light sliced across the room.
“Don’t go,” she blurted.
More silence. The door closed again.
Ruby felt for the bedside light and snapped it on. Nightshade moved to the side of the bed and stared down at her, his silver eyes gleaming. “Sorry I woke you.”
“I’m glad you did. I miss you at night.”
His wary gaze flicked over her body then back to her face. “I’ve heard you crying out in your sleep this past week. You’ve been having nightmares, haven’t you?”
For the first few nights after they arrived in Cornwall, terrible dreams of Troy’s death had mingled with memories of finding her mother dead and kept her awake. Finally, now, the nightmares seemed to have gone.
Ruby reached out and grasped Nightshade’s hand. When he didn’t move, she tugged and wriggled across the bed to give him space to climb in beside her. She should explain why she’d been so prickly over the last few days, but all she wanted to do was cuddle with him.
“I thought you needed space.” He lay on his side, facing her, still holding her hand.
“No, I . . .” Feelings churned inside her. He was right. She had needed space. Seeing Troy die to release her from the bond had knocked the stuffing out of her. All the awful things that had happened recently seemed crystallized in that one moment. If the dragon hadn’t burned down her house, she’d have run inside and locked herself away from everyone. Away from everything.
“What happened to Troy just freaked me out. It reminded me of my mother’s death. I’m sure she was killed by something other than it seemed. Her face was frozen in a mask of terror. I was only sixteen when I found her and I’ve tried to deal with it. But . . . sometimes it just gets to me.”
“Maybe that’s why your power hasn’t developed. Cordelia told me she can sense huge potential in you, but it’s not manifesting.”
Ruby shimmied closer to Nightshade and laid her cheek against his chest. She didn’t want to talk; she just wanted to be with him. But even as she pressed her lips to his skin, the word baby floated through her mind, taunting her. She squeezed her eyes closed and sucked in a breath.
“Ruby, love, what’s the matter?” His hand rubbed comforting circles on her back.
She was so confused. Half of her wanted to stay in Cornwall with Nightshade and have his baby while the other half of her was totally freaked out at the thought of tying herself to the fairy world forever and being with people who expected her to use her power. What if she never could?
She brushed her fingertips over the soft leathery skin of his wings, and Nightshade’s arm curved around to pull her body flush with his. “I’ve missed this, Ruby.”
She turned her face up to his and their lips touched, gently at first, then more demanding. But when she drew back to catch her breath, a glow near the door caught her attention. She levered herself up on an elbow.
“Strewth!” Her hand went to her chest as if to hold in her jumping heart. The unbearable weight of guilt that had almost suffocated her released, and tears of relief jumped into her eyes. Troy stood in the corner of the room, his shoulder propped against the wall. “You’re alive.”
“Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated,” he said, a hint of a smile on his lips.
“Troy!” Nightshade bounded out of bed and crossed the room in a few strides. He threw his arms around the immortal and hauled him into a bear hug.
A flash of surprise crossed Troy’s face. For a moment he didn’t respond to the effusive welcome; then he placed pale hands almost lost in the voluminous gold lace of his cuffs on Nightshade’s dark skin and returned his embrace.
As Troy held Nightshade, his blue eyes rose to meet Ruby’s gaze. Seeing the immortal fit and well after watching him die had a surreal quality, enhanced by the fact he wore even more extravagant clothes than usual. His jacket changed color as he moved; lilac, turquoise, and gold fluctuated across the shiny fabric, matching the sparks of colored fire in the huge opals in his hair. And although the bond between them had been broken, some of his memories echoed back through her mind. He did a good job of hiding his emotions behind that impassive expression, but in a sudden moment of insight, Ruby realized that far from being a way of courting attention, his ostentatious outfit was a mask—something to dazzle people so they didn’t see the real man.
Nightshade released Troy and quickly went to his room to retrieve Troy’s sword.
“Ah ha, my loyal servant.” Troy extended his hand, and the sword flew from Nightshade’s hand into his grip. He held it up with a smile, examining each side of the blade. Then he reached over his shoulder to slide the weapon home into its scabbard.
Nightshade sat on the side of the bed and laced his fingers through Ruby’s. “Thank you for giving her back to me,” he said. His gaze never left Troy.
“Yes, I want to thank you too,” Ruby added, aware that her words were totally inadequate. She expected Troy to look away during the moment, but he kept his gaze fixed on her. She broke eye contact instead.
“I expected you two to be bonded by now,” Troy said, one eyebrow raised.
The silence stretched awkwardly. If anyone else had questioned their relationship she’d have told them to mind their own business, but Troy had earned the right to comment.
“She needed time to get over the shock of what’s happened,” Nightshade replied.
“You haven’t come into your power,” Troy observed. His voice held a hint of censure.
Again, Nightshade jumped to her defense. “Your death shook her up. Remember, she’s lived as a human all her life and isn’t used to our world.”
She expected a scathing put-down from Troy. She deserved it; she was letting Nightshade make excuses for her. But Troy didn’t reply. And when she looked up, his gaze was fixed on her nightstand, on the black crystal button she’d rescued from the ground the day he died. He picked it up and weighed the darkly glittering jewel in his palm.
“I wanted to give that back to you.” Ruby flexed her shoulders, embarrassed that he might think she was being sentimental. “I sort of thought . . . all the time I had your button there was hope.”
“There is always hope.” Troy held the button out, and she opened her hand to receive it back. “Black diamonds that can be faceted and polished are quite rare. Keep it as a token of our . . . unusual relationship.”
“Thank you.” Ruby closed her hand around the stone, not able to look him in the face.
“In the brief time of our bonding, I took the opportunity to analyze why your power hasn’t manifested.”
Ruby’s head shot up, and she met his gaze. Although she’d sensed his memories, it hadn’t occurred to her that he would have rifled through her psyche in return.
“As we suspected, being deprived of your Magic Knot has stunted your development.”
The word stunted made her wince, but she let it pass.
“The Mistress’s power is the manipulation of life force,” Troy continued. “As one might expect, the wellspring for any power associated with life is the base energy center by the genitals.”
He pressed his hand low on his abdomen. Ruby stared at his groin for a moment before it occurred to her that she should avert her gaze.
“Your power over life force will be focused through your womb. That’s why the Mistress’s gift passes down the female line,” Troy continued.
“That must be why her undeveloped power interfered with her fertility,” Nightshade chimed in.
Ruby blanched. So much for keeping personal details to herself—although Troy probably knew all
her secrets now he’d rummaged inside her head.
“Now that you have your Magic Knot, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t develop your power and give my friend here the son he longs for,” Troy pronounced. “I suggest it’s a question of choice on your part, Ruby. If you want your power, it will manifest.”
He laid a hand on Nightshade’s arm, and the two men exchanged a look that expressed their affection more clearly than words. Troy then stepped back and inclined his head. “Devin sends his regards,” he said. Then he disappeared.
Ruby settled back on the bed in Nightshade’s arms. She twisted a lock of his sleek ebony hair around her fingers and relaxed—really relaxed, for the first time since the horrible day her house burned down. Perversely, now she knew Troy was again alive, she felt a need to get on with her life to show him his pain had not been in vain. She had to make a decision about what she wanted from life . . . and it was easy: She wanted Nightshade.
She clasped the three pale pink stone rings hanging on the gold chain around her neck and dropped a kiss on his shoulder. Everything in her life had led up to this moment.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I want to exchange Magic Knots.”
He stroked a finger over her knuckles. “You sure you’re ready?” he asked gently.
“Uh-huh. Unless there’s another monster we need to vanquish first.”
He flashed her a smile. “Nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow.”
Digging into his jeans pocket, Nightshade pulled out his three red-speckled stone rings. He made a fist around them, then frowned. “When we bond, you’ll see my memories. I’ve done things I’m not proud of, and I can’t go back and change them.”
“None of us are perfect. Especially not me,” Ruby said. “I’ve been horrible to you the last few days and I’m sorry.”
“I forgive you.” He sucked in a breath and uncurled his fingers. She removed her Magic Knot from its chain, dropped it into his palm and closed her hand over both sets of stones. Dizziness swirled through her. This was followed by a rapid expansion of her mind.
The Ruby Kiss Page 25