Tainted Love
by
Cate Lockhart
Tainted Love
by Cate Lockhart
Published by Epiphany Books
Copyright © 2015 Cate Lockhart
www.catelockhart.com
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author.
All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter One
Abbi hit snooze for the third time, and knew that she was way past pushing her luck to get to work on time. Mondays! Ugh. Abbi could hear the shower running, and smell the heavenly scent of coffee. She would never understand how Ben did it. She loved her fiancé, but, seriously, it just wasn’t normal to be up and singing in the shower with the coffee made before the alarm clock went off on a Monday. Or any day for that matter. Groaning, she sat up and was proud of her progress. Honestly, if she didn’t work for her mother, she probably would have been fired long ago. Now she just got reminded of that fact once a week or so, but still collected a wage. Small price to pay really.
‘Good morning, beautiful, you look like you’re raring to go,’ Ben said as he entered the bedroom. He still did that. After two years of living together and knowing that she hated being spoken to as soon as she woke up, he would still tease her first thing in the morning. Abbi glared at him but he laughed and strolled over to the wardrobe to select his clothes. It wasn’t personal. She would have glared at Santa Claus first thing in the morning. She reached forward and petted Buddy, their Yorkshire terrier who was still sound asleep on top of the cover.
‘You’re the only beautiful one around here,’ she said as she scratched under his ear. Buddy cracked an eye open and thumped his tail at her. She smiled, and made her way out of the bedroom and down the hall towards the aroma of coffee.
The coffee pot was already half gone, so Ben had been up for a while. The news played quietly in the living room, and Abbi figured Ben could already tell her everything that had happened over night. He had always been like that, staying caught up on current events. At least as long as she had known him which was almost eight years now. In fact, that is how they met. Ben had been on the junior debate team when Abbi’s mother had decided that she should be more social and get involved at school. Abbi was new at Chesterfield High School and was having a hard time making friends. Abbi’s family had moved back to London when her grandmother had become very ill. Abbi’s grandfather had died quite suddenly two years earlier at seventy-six years old. Her grandmother had taken the shock so very hard and now her health was failing as well. Abbi’s family ran a chain of antique-restoration shops and decided to settle back at their main shop in Kensington, London to be more of a comfort and help to her lonely and ailing grandmother.
Abbi was not much for athletics, but she liked to read and play chess. There wasn’t a chess club at this new school, so the next closest thing to her interests was the debate team. Abbi wasn’t sure about speaking in front of people, but she did like to have interesting and thoughtful conversations, and she certainly leant on the side of being opinionated. She knew that she should have some school involvement on her CV for university as well, so she went to a debate club meeting and met Ben. He was standing at the podium leading a current events discussion when she walked into the classroom for the meeting, and she immediately had a schoolgirl crush on him. He was tall and lean, and had beautiful dark brown hair. With his school tie and glasses on, he looked so professional and mature as he argued his point with his deep articulate voice. Abbi felt herself blush when he momentarily hesitated, and watched her find a place to sit down. She saw a half-smile creep across his face when their eyes met, and then he continued his debate.
Now eight years later, he still looked lean and professional in his shirt and trousers as he walked into the kitchen and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He had one more year to go on the foundation programme, followed by several more years of vocational training. Eventually Abbi would be married to a fully qualified doctor.
She really was very proud of him. The years of medical school had been long and arduous, but he never complained, not once. Abbi had tried university, but she found out quickly that academic life was just not for her. She still loved to read, but she couldn’t stand having to write about what she read. Why couldn’t she just read and talk about it? That did not go over so well with her professors, so after two long and frustrating years, Abbi decided to go into the family business, which thrilled her parents completely. Honestly, their daughter working in the family and engaged to a doctor? Not to mention, her parents adored Ben since the first day he had come over to take her to a movie. He had brought her mother flowers, and asked her father first if it was ok for him to take his daughter out. ‘Now that’s a fine young man, Abbi,’ her father had beamed at her when she came home that evening promptly at 9pm, her curfew.
Abbi was always good, and had never been a troublemaker or daring. She always thought she would be the one to get caught if she tried to bunk off school or smoke weed behind the school shed like most of the other kids did. No, for Abbi, the closest she ever came to being rebellious was not wanting to spend a weekend writing an essay on Macbeth when she could just as easily talk about it for an afternoon. But she still wrote it, and then withdrew from university at the end of her first year.
‘Are you at the hospital all day?’ she asked as Ben sat down at the table with a bowl of cereal.
‘No, I have a meeting with Dr. Hertz first. Then hopefully, I can make the last of the rounds.’
Dr. Hertz was Ben’s academic advisor, mentor, and boss. Abbi thought he looked like had been practicing medicine since they had used leeches, but Ben raved about the man’s knowledge and tremendous bedside manner. ‘This guy,’ he’d excitedly tell Abbi at the end of his long days, ‘Can make a parent who is watching their child die feel better, for just a minute. What a gift! I hope I can do that.’
That is what Ben wanted to do. He wanted to be a paediatric oncologist. Abbi could not imagine doing a job like that. To spend your day with dying children and their suffering families. She knew she couldn’t handle that. To be honest, she didn’t even really like to hear Ben talk about it too much. She was aware it took a special kind of heart and spirit to spend a life dedicated to this particular field. Abbi was honoured to have such a kind and compassionate fiancé even if she didn’t understand him at times. How do you come home and be normal after a day like that?
She wondered sometimes if it would change him. And change him how? Her mother told her she worried too much. That Ben was the catch of the century. That they were perfect together, and were going to live a long comfortable life together. That sounded about right for Abbi. She had always played it easy and comfortable. Ben had been her first real date and then boyfriend. In fact, even though they had
split up a couple of times through high school and university, these break ups had never lasted, and Abbi had never been with anyone else. She had certainly fantasized about other guys. But who didn’t do that and what was the harm anyway? Abbi loved Ben, but sometimes she couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like with someone other than Ben. To kiss and feel another man’s touch? Sometimes, she admitted to herself that she felt maybe a little old. Maybe she was just bored. She was only twenty-four, and her life was pretty much already in a set routine. She worked Monday to Friday at the antique shop doing some restoring and invoicing. She chatted with customers about their projects and went to auctions to look for deals for their shop.
In the evening, she made dinner, folded laundry and either read or watched a movie. Ben had held irregular hours for at least the past two years, so she was usually on her own because even if he was home, he was studying or trying to catch a few hours of sleep. On the weekends, she would usually take Buddy out to the park and watch him play and idly gossip with the other owners. Abbi didn’t have many friends, but she was alright with that. She was close to her family. She had Ben and Buddy.
Abbi and Ben had talked about starting a family once they were married, so a new family addition would give her more responsibility and entertainment as well. Was she lonely? Maybe occasionally. That was when she would lay back and dream of being absurdly rich with a glamorous lifestyle. Her powerful handsome husband would take her on long cruises in their personal yacht and they would make love in the sand of their own private beach. Sure, Abbi liked to fantasise. Who didn’t?
So today was just like any other day. Ben finished eating and put his bowl in the sink. Abbi was leaning against the counter drinking her coffee, and halfway listening to the morning news still trying to wake up. Wrapping his arms around her, Ben smiled warmly. She made every effort to smile back at him. She absolutely adored him, but she absolutely wished he would leave her alone first thing in the morning. A morning person she was not!
Ben rounded on her and pressed his body up against hers. It took less than two seconds for Abbi to realise what he had on his mind.
‘No way,’ she said laughing as she pressed her palms against his chest and pushed him away.
Ben took a step back. ‘Oh, come on, babe,’ he pleaded with a pout more suited to a two-year-old child. ‘There’s nothing to stop us having a quickie.’
‘Ben, I’ve barely got the energy to get ready for work, let alone have a shag.’
A smirk spread across his face. ‘But what am I going to do about Teddy,’ he said, pointing towards the obvious bulge in his trousers.
‘Take a cold shower or …’ She reached up and pinched his cheek. ‘Think about the time you saw your Aunt Frieda in her birthday suit.’
‘Oh, yuck.’ Ben’s expression turned into a scowl. ‘Talk about killing the moment.’
‘Go on go, off to work now,’ she said, shooing him away with a flick of her hand.
He laughed as he took a step forward and kissed her forehead. ‘I love you.’
‘You too. Let me know if you’ll be home for dinner.’
‘Um, sure.’
She ran the tip of her finger down his chest. ‘I’ll serve it in bed,’ she teased. ‘We can play doctors and nurses afterwards if you like,’ she added suggestively.
Ben raised his brows, his eyes suddenly hopeful. ‘In that case, I’ll definitely be home for dinner.’
Abbi playfully slapped his shoulder. ‘Oh, so you’ll make time in your busy schedule for sex but not for one of my home-cooked meals,’ she said, feigning insult.
Ben grinned. ‘Abbi, we both know that cooking is not your strongest attribute. Whereas sex …’
‘Well, I’m sure Buddy would be glad to have your share of a home cooked dinner,’ Abbi said, as Buddy made a sudden appearance.
‘Oh no he won’t! Will you, you little scoundrel.’ Ben bent over and scratched the back of Buddy’s ears.
They had got Buddy last Christmas. This year he was going to be two years old and they both adored him. He was playful and smart, and without a doubt Abbi’s loyal companion following her around the house wherever she went. Buddy was a local favourite at the antique shop, and he was going to turn into twice his size soon if people didn’t stop bringing him in treats.
‘You don’t need it anyway, do you, Bud?’ Buddy rolled over to have his belly scratched in response.
Ben stood back up and stretched. Abbi thought he looked tired, but he would never admit it. Ben was so driven and dedicated. She knew he lived for his work, but sometimes she wondered how he planned to fit her and a family into his life filled with sick and dying children.
Ben glanced down at his watch. ‘Oh crap. I didn’t realise it was after eight already. I’d better go.’
‘Okay, see you tonight,’ she called after him as he grabbed his coat off the back of the chair and hurried down the hallway. ‘Have a good day.’
‘You too.’ And then he was gone.
Buddy looked at the front door then back to Abbi.
‘I’d better get ready for work myself,’ she said to him, and headed to the bathroom. As she undressed she looked at her reflection in the mirror. At five feet seven, with a slender build and a heart shaped face, she was happy with her outward appearance. The only clue to the turmoil that was going on inside was the lifeless look in her green eyes. The saying that a person’s eyes was a window to the soul, was definitely true – in Abbi’s case anyway.
An hour later, and a good thirty minutes late leaving for work, which was actually on time for her, Abbi left for the train station. She was planning on running to Tesco after work for some shopping, so Buddy was staying at home much to his displeasure.
Hurrying towards the station a dull ache settled in the pit of her stomach. Her life really was like Groundhog Day: it was the same routine over and over again. What did she expect? Nothing out of the ordinary ever happened in her life, so why would today be any different?
Chapter Two
Abbi and Ben lived ten minutes from Highgate tube station, which made commuting to work very easy for them. Parking in London was becoming more and more of a nightmare, with congestion charges and lack of spaces, not to mention traffic jams. Just being the two of them, they were fine using trains and cabs. Now and then, if they took off for a romantic weekend in the country, they just rented a car.
Half way down the escalator, Abbi heard the train screeching to a halt on the tracks. Oh shit! She could be late but missing this train was going to be pushing it, even for her. She ran down towards the platform, managed to jump through the train doors just as they closed and banged into the side of someone holding onto the rail.
‘I am so sorry!’ she exclaimed after hearing a ‘Whoa!’ somewhere in the collision. Righting herself as the train began to move, she looked up past the arm she had collided with and into the eyes of the most attractive man she had ever seen. Oh my God!
The man laughed, then asked, ‘Are you okay?’
Wow. He’s talking to me. Say something! ‘Er … Yes, sorry,’ Abbi said flicking back her long blonde hair, trying to compose herself. Stop acting like a complete idiot. ‘I’m running a little behind this morning and thought I was going to miss the train,’ she rambled on.
‘No worries at all.’ The man smiled at her. ‘Been there more times than I care to remember.’
‘I hope I didn’t hurt you,’ Abbi said, giving him the once over, searching for a flaw. Surely no man can be this perfect! She eyed him from his sculptured facial features right down to his strong thighs encased in a pair of dark blue designer jeans. Perfect!
‘I’ll survive,’ he said, revealing a white smile.
‘Um, good and er … thanks for serving as a barrier,’ Abbi said sheepishly as she lowered her gaze to the ground. She thought she’d faint if she looked into his eyes again.
‘Anytime,’ he said.
Abbi turned reluctantly, then walked along the carriage to the next available sea
t and planted herself down. Now she could relax. She had a twenty minute ride to King’s Cross where she would change to the Piccadilly line for another twenty minute journey, and then a ten-minute walk to work. She pulled her phone out of her jacket and flipped through the photos of Ben and Buddy. She needed something to dislodge the memory of the dreamboat she’d just bumped into. Moments later her eyes involuntarily glanced up again. The man had left his spot holding onto the rail and had settled in a seat four rows up from where she sat. From her vantage point, Abbi could look at him without being noticed.
He had taken out a book that looked like a history of something. His long legs were stretched out in front of him, and he appeared to be quite engaged in what he was reading. Abbi liked looking at him. In fact, she loved looking at him. How can he possibly look like that? Where do people like him come from? Up until now, she thought people like him just existed on the covers of magazines. But he was real. In the flesh real.
She was staring. She knew it. She tried to pretend that she was looking at her phone, but anyone really watching her would have seen her eyes were fixed on this stranger on the train. Abbi began to think back. Wow. If she had known, she was going to collide with him while she frantically jumped through the closing doors, she definitely would have taken much more advantage of that situation.
Abbi settled back in her seat, resting her head against the cold glass window. She closed her eyes and slowly a vision began to unfold behind her eyelids….
The lights in the bar are low, giving the room an intimate feel. The man from the train is sitting alone, drinking whiskey from a crystal tumbler. He’s wearing an open-necked shirt, revealing smooth, lightly tanned skin. I take a seat next to him, my senses are swimming from the scent of the heady aftershave he wears. He turns and looks at me. I can feel my temperature rising as he lowers his thick, black lashes and asks me if I want to share his drink.
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