“What will you do now, Miss Jones?” Lady Alexander asked, and Sarah could feel the hot prick of tears at the back of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall until she was well away from this house.
“I will go home, I suppose,” she said. “Back to America. There is nothing holding me here any longer.”
Lady Alexander nodded and stood.
“I will walk you to the door.”
Sarah nodded, allowing herself one final look at her aunt before she followed Lady Alexander. Her aunt sat there, staring straight ahead, and Sarah could only shake her head as she continued on. Once they reached the front door, Lady Alexander turned and surprised Sarah by taking her hands in hers.
“Lucy has become quite bitter over the years,” Lady Alexander said quietly. “I am sorry for that. I agreed to help her because I thought this might bring her some closure, but it appears it has only worsened the situation and has caused you some pain, for which I apologize. I wish you all of the best, Miss Jones, in whatever decision you make.”
Sarah nodded. It was on her lips to thank Lady Alexander, but then she recalled that the woman had lied to her, deceived her, for what was now years.
“I hope you find whatever brings you happiness, Lady Alexander,” she said in all honesty, and then with one last quick nod, she hurried out the door and down the stairs, away from this house and all the secrets it held.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
David was much smarter this time. Instead of darkening Lord Torrington’s door only to be turned away by his wife once more, he determined, with some help of a groom who was willing to do anything David required for a few shillings, that he could find the man at White’s—perfect.
When David finally tracked him down in the card room after searching through various rooms of the Club, Torrington eyed him somewhat warily as he approached.
“Redmond,” he said when David neared his table. “What brings you to seek me out once more? Here with more tales of long-lost loves?”
“Ah…” David replied, scratching his head, “Perhaps we best call it a continuation of our previous conversation.”
Torrington sighed, looked over to his two companions and excused himself before standing and motioning for David to follow him to a nearby table.
“The last time we spoke I became caught up in memories and nearly forgot myself,” the Earl said as they took a seat. “Please be quick about it today.”
“Very well,” David said, not taking the man’s curtness as a good sign, but forging on nonetheless. “Previously, I asked you about a woman—Mary Jones.”
“Yes, I remember well,” Torrington responded, although this time he did not seem to be inclined to share any further.
“I told you that I knew Mary Jones through an acquaintance. Well, the truth is, I have never met Mary Jones. But I have met her daughter.”
That caught the Earl’s attention, as his eyes snapped up to meet David’s.
“She had a daughter?”
“She did. I have never met a lovelier young woman.”
“She must be like her mother,” Torrington murmured, and David nodded. Of course, he had never met Mary Jones, but from the sound of it, Sarah was the woman she was today because of her.
“She is,” David said. Then took a deep breath. “Miss Jones—the younger Miss Jones, Sarah—came to visit you yesterday.”
“To visit… me?” Torrington repeated, his brow furrowing. He clearly didn’t realize the meaning of that statement quite yet.
“Yes,” David said, clasping his hands together and leaning over the table toward Torrington.
“Mary Jones left England over twenty years ago to settle in America. There, she had her daughter, Sarah. It was only recently that Sarah learned she had a father in England, and she came here to find him, for no reason other than a familial connection.”
The Earl didn’t move as he stared at David, the realization of all he was saying finally settling in.
“And then she came… to see me.”
“She did.”
David reached into his pocket, finding the ring he still held, that he had forgotten to return to Sarah.
“Is this yours, Lord Torrington?”
He set it down in the middle of the table between them, and Torrington reached over, picking it up and turning it over in his fingers. His face still wore an expression of incredulity, as though he could hardly believe what he was seeing.
“This is my mother’s family crest,” Torrington said, staring at it as he ran his thumb over the crest. “Her father gave it to me when I married my wife. I gave it… I gave it to…” he swallowed deeply. “The woman I thought I would love forever.”
“Mary Jones.”
“Yes,” the Earl said, his word coming out just above a whisper. “I wished to marry her, but it had always been planned that I would marry Lavinia, who is now my wife.”
He was silent for a moment.
“I hadn’t decided what to do—whether to leave all for Mary, or to see if she would have only what I could offer her while I did what my family asked of me, marrying Lavinia and then one day becoming the earl.”
He let out a short, bitter laugh.
“I didn’t realize the decision I should have made until it was too late and Mary was gone. I never knew if my father had convinced her to leave or if she had left me of her own accord, but it haunts me to this day.”
“From what Sarah tells me, she left so that you would not have to make the decision put before you.”
“She would,” he nodded and then paused for a moment before looking back at David. “A daughter… I never had any children, did you know that, Redmond?”
David shook his head.
“Where is she?” Torrington asked.
“At this moment? I believe she is preparing to return home to America.”
“What?” he said, making as if to rise, his face astonished. “Why, when she has come all of this way?”
David shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He wasn’t sure of the current relationship between Torrington and his wife and had no wish to come between the two of them, but he also felt Torrington should know the truth.
“When Sarah came to see you, your wife greeted her. Apparently, she surmised much of the situation and told Sarah that you had no wish to see her nor have anything to do with her.”
“She what?” The last word came out as a bit of a roar, and many of the other patrons turned to stare at the two of them.
“Sarah tried to make it clear that she is not here for any financial gain, but I believe your wife is quite concerned about what Sarah could do to your reputation as well as your finances.”
“Well, I never…” He said, glowering, and David flinched. “I want to speak with her—the girl.”
“I hate to be impertinent, my lord…”
“But you will be, all the same.”
David took a breath. “What will your response to her be? Would you accept her, or would you turn her away, as your wife did?”
The Earl’s gaze slightly darkened as he stared at David.
“I know you ask out of concern for her, which is why I am answering your insolent question,” he said. “I have not yet decided how I will greet her or include her in my life, but I will not turn her away without any acknowledgment of who she is, that I can tell you,” he said, and David nodded, satisfied with his answer.
“I’ll see if I can find her,” David said. “Then I will send word as to where we should meet you.”
“Please see that you do,” the Earl said, direct yet still obviously flummoxed. As David rose, Torrington held out a hand to stop him.
“Tell me, Redmond, what is your involvement in all of this?”
“Sarah and I have become… rather close.”
“I see,” said Torrington, as he raised an eyebrow. “How does your family feel about such a thing? I had heard a rumor you were to marry the daughter of Lord Buckworth.”
“So my parents would like
to believe,” David responded, “Though I have told both of them, as well as Lady Georgina, that my heart belongs with another.”
“Good for you, lad,” the Earl said quietly. “I wish I had done the same.”
“Yes, well, the problem is, I don’t think Sarah has any wish to have me due to what she believes to be the truth,” David said. “I’m not sure if it is best to let her go, or convince her to stay here.”
“My choice—even if that choice at the time was to remain hesitant, caught between two worlds—was the wrong one,” said Torrington, looking down at the table for a moment before returning his eyes to David. “Whatever you do, son, follow your heart. If you love your Miss Jones and you think she feels the same for you, then do what you can to hold onto her. Convince her of your love. You’ll both be the better for it and you’ll have a much happier life—one you will enjoy to the fullest. Do not make the same mistake I did, Redmond. Promise me that.”
David stared at him for a moment, at the regret that filled the man’s face, and he nodded.
“I will be in touch,” David said, and then turned and walked away with new resolve.
His mind swirled with the words of both the father and daughter. Sarah had pushed him away, it was true, but he was beginning to realize just how much of that was hurt, rather than the anger she had projected. And as for the Earl… well, David knew he would likely be in much the same situation. He was fairly sure his father would never accept him marrying a woman like Sarah, who lacked a fine pedigree, but David found that he no longer cared. Sarah was worth giving up all for—any financial gain from his father, acceptance from his parents, or a place in society.
The most important thing now was to make Sarah believe in him and his promises.
She was so determined to return to America, but David was unsure if it was the land itself calling her back, or if it was more a matter of a desire to leave England and all that it had held for her.
If it was the latter, he must convince her otherwise. If it was the former… well, he must be willing to leave all and return with her. Could he do it? He, a man who had questioned the thought of giving up even other women for just one alone. He shook his head as he chuckled to himself. Could one woman change him that much?
Yes, he realized. Yes, she absolutely could.
David hurried out of White’s, nearly running to his carriage in his rush to leave James Street and make his way to Cheapside as quickly as possible. He knew Sarah planned to leave soon, but surely not immediately—she had said her ship was leaving in a few days, and she would need time to prepare, would she not? She was a woman alone so it wouldn’t take long, not like the weeks it seemed to take his family to prepare to leave for the country, but still, it would take some time.
He tapped his fingers on his knees during his entire journey to Sarah’s rooms, impatient. Perhaps he should get out and run—maybe he would get there faster. David felt a fool. All that he had known deep within him had surfaced upon hearing Torrington’s revelations. Torrington had lost the woman he loved because he hadn’t been able to make a choice. David was well aware that he might lose all as well—but now he was willing to risk it, for even if he did, the exchange would be well worth it.
He had the door of the carriage open before it even came to a full stop, and the wheels had just finished turning when he was running up the walkway to Sarah’s rooms. He knocked on the door but didn’t wait for her to answer before he turned the handle, bursting into the room—only to find it completely empty. David’s heart seemed to fall out of his chest as he looked around the barren room, the room in which so much had happened between them over just a few weeks.
He closed his eyes as he remembered the night he had awoken in Sarah’s bed as she administered to his wounds, the many nights spent with a sore back from sleeping on the floor as he stood guard over Sarah’s door, and the night they had first made love.
A sensation of warmth began to tickle David’s eye, and he was astonished when he reached up to find a tear beginning to leak out of it. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried—he must have been a child. Well, he wasn’t going to cry now. He was going to find Sarah, tell her of her father, of his own love for her, and his resolve to do whatever it might take to be with her.
He just had to find her first.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
It was interesting, Sarah mused, and rather ironic, that she had come all this way to find a connection only to discover the truth that family was not so much blood, but the people for whom you come to care. In some cases, that could be true relatives, for she and her mother had shared a bond as close as she ever had with any other person.
But then other times, family was the people you created it with. She thought of the people in her village at home, her neighbors in Cheapside, and the three women with whom she had become closer friends than she had ever thought possible. They were all part of her family—much more so than the Earl and Countess of Torrington, or her aunt, who had all proven to be malicious, who wanted nothing of her within their lives.
She thanked the driver of the hack who had conveyed her to port, where she would board a small steamship that would take her out of London to Plymouth. From there, she would board a larger ship that would convey her home, back to Baltimore. She hadn’t been sure she would be able to afford it, but upon arriving back at her rooms after her visit with Lady Alexander and her aunt, she had found within her pockets enough pound notes to comfortably pay for her passage home. Lady Alexander must have tucked it in the pocket within her skirts, Sarah realized. At first, she had been determined to return it to the woman, but she had to admit the temptation to use it to return was far too great, and she had ended up spending it on the ticket, though she vowed to one day repay it, even if she had to send it all the way across the Atlantic.
Sarah didn’t think she had ever felt smaller than the moment she stepped out of the hack with her one worn bag and looked at the rows of ships lining the port. She had done the same in New York for the voyage here, of course, but then she had been filled with hope and the belief that she was coming to find the man who had sired her, who had loved her mother more than one could imagine.
Now, she knew the truth.
Sarah had to ask for directions, but eventually, she was directed to a small ship with two masts. The captain himself greeted her as she climbed aboard, and she looked around to ensure that she was not the sole passenger.
“Yer the first to arrive,” he said in answer to her inquiring gaze around her. “You have some time to wait still, but you get first pick of berth.”
She nodded, thanked him, and then went down to claim one of the bunks before returning to the deck. The ship was clean, though small and rather run-down, but she hadn’t wanted to waste much money on the first leg of her journey. She had found the first ship she could at a reasonable rate that would take her out of London, and the captain seemed affable enough, at the very least.
Sarah had known she would be early, but hadn’t cared—she had needed to leave London as soon as she could. She was well aware that her experiences here would always be deeply ingrained in her memory, but at the same time the faster she could leave it all behind, the better.
She refused to think of David—of all that they had shared, all that she felt for him, the love that beat within her heart for him that she didn’t think would ever die. How she was to live without him now, she had no idea, but she had a far better chance of doing so halfway around the world than if he were simply a carriage ride away.
She looked out over the port, seeing London stretch in the distance. One thing was for certain—she was looking forward to leaving this city behind, to feel the fresh, open air on her face once more. They simply had to leave this dock. And then she would be free.
*
David was not a man who often fell to a panic. But at this moment, he could hardly do anything but.
He had asked all whom he’d encountered within the vicinity of Sarah’
s residence if they had noticed her leave. A young lad said he had seen her enter a hack with a bag in hand, although where she intended to go from there, no one was entirely sure. Time seemed to be slipping away from David, as he had no idea when she would actually be leaving London, nor how she had decided to go about it. Would she be traveling over land, north to Liverpool, or south to one of the ports? Or would she have taken a ship that way? He had to make a decision, and it was one that would be paramount, for a wrong choice could mean he would not only miss her entirely but also lose her forever.
He returned to his carriage, asking the driver to convey him back to Mayfair. It may lose him precious time, but with the correct direction, he might make the appropriate choice. He earnestly requested the driver to rush as fast as he could, and the man was true to his word, for soon enough they had pulled up in front of Lady Alexander’s home.
In all actuality, she didn’t seem surprised to see him. David wasn’t shown into her home, but rather Lady Alexander came to greet him at the front door after the butler announced his arrival.
“Mr. Redmond,” she said, eyeing him up and down critically. “Allow me to make a guess. You are here in an attempt to determine the whereabouts of Miss Jones, is that it?”
“You would be correct, Lady Alexander,” he replied, hoping the woman would be more amenable to him today than she was the last time the two of them had spoken. “She has left her boardinghouse, and it appears she has designs to leave England.”
“Which would be understandable, would it not?” Lady Alexander asked. “What has she left for her here?”
“So you know of her current… situation?” David asked, surprised that Sarah would have confided in the woman.
“I know far more than you might expect, Mr. Redmond,” she said, raising an eyebrow, to which he nodded.
“Though you do not seem inclined to share,” he said, no longer caring whether or not he might be offending her.
Lady Alexander raised herself to her full height, which neared David’s own, though not quite.
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