by Darcy Burke
The awkward silence stretched into a year, and Sean opened his mouth to save them all, but Sara got her words out first. “You’re married?”
“On paper,” Tori said. “We had a drunken weekend in Vegas. No biggie.”
No biggie? Any compassion he felt for her in this situation completely evaporated. He might’ve resolved himself to the marriage being over, but her total disregard for what they’d shared, no matter how fleeting, was a low blow.
“We actually met on New Year’s,” he said. “And the Vegas trip—five weeks later—wasn’t entirely drunken.”
Tori threw him a glare over her shoulder. “Sara, can we talk about this later?”
“You should talk about it now,” Sean said quietly. “Dylan will show me around.”
Dylan made eye contact then, and Sean saw the flash of relief in his gaze. “Sure. Come on.” He turned and exited into the sanctuary.
Sean moved past Tori, pausing to whisper, “You’ll be fine. And whether you want me or not, I’ll be here for you.”
He could feel her tension like a cool, stiff breeze, but it was her problem to manage. He followed Dylan into the sanctuary and then outside.
The bright sunlight drove Sean to pull his sunglasses from his front shirt pocket. He slipped them on and glanced at Dylan. “Where are we going?”
“Let’s head down to the Ridgeview.”
He started across the parking lot toward a gravel road that was just wide enough for two cars to pass each other. Here in the States it would be considered narrow, but back home it was just a normal country lane.
Dylan launched into an overview of the phases of construction. Sean listened, but part of his brain wondered what Tori and her sister were talking about. Was Tori throwing him under the bus? And what was this going to do to his TV show now? If she painted him as some sort of jerk, his chances at nabbing this special would be dead in the water.
When they reached the craftsman-style house at the end of the lane, Dylan turned to face him. “I’m sorry, I have to ask. Why didn’t you tell anyone you were married?”
“I wanted to, but . . . ” He had enough respect for Tori to let her dictate the narrative—to a point. He’d see what she said and correct her if she did in fact drive over him and leave him for dead. “It was Tori’s decision.” That wasn’t throwing her under the bus; it was the truth.
Dylan, who’d also donned a pair of sunglasses, took them off as he went to the front door of the house. “It’s just such a shock. Which I’m sure you realize.”
“I do.” Sara’s expression had said everything, including how hurt she’d been by Tori’s secrecy. “I was hoping she might come clean this week, but not like that.”
Dylan unlocked the door and looked back over his shoulder at Sean as he opened it wide. “When did this happen exactly? The wedding, I mean.”
“The beginning of February.”
Dylan winced. “Ah, I think I’m beginning to understand.”
“Yeah, the timing was pretty awful.” He didn’t say it was because of Alex’s death, as it was clear that Dylan knew.
“Sara and I first hooked up the week before Alex committed suicide. It was a one-night thing, but I sometimes wonder if it wouldn’t have been if he hadn’t died.”
Sean paused as he moved into the house. “Really? That must’ve put a damper on things.”
Dylan nodded. “Then when we hooked up again a few months later, we kept it on the down low. The family, including Sara, was dealing with so much. It just seemed like the right thing to do.”
“I get that. I had no problem giving Tori plenty of time and space to work through things. I ended up spending six months on a project in Europe anyway, so it seemed like Fate was giving us what we needed to weather the storm.”
“So, you’re together now then?”
Sean made a sound that was half derisive laugh and half scoff. “Doubtful.” His mind went back to Tori and Sara. “Will her family be angry?”
Dylan blew out a breath and cocked his head to the side. “I don’t know. While I’ve gotten to know some of them pretty well, this is uncharted territory. Well, maybe it isn’t. Kyle and Tori were pissed at first when they found out about me and Sara. They worried our relationship would negatively impact the renovation project if we broke up.” He cracked a smile. “Good thing we didn’t.”
Sean gave a single nod. “Hmm.”
“I’d say Kyle and Maggie’s relationship was a bigger bombshell. The family was predisposed to dislike her because she’d been Alex’s therapist. And, well, one could argue that she ought to have recognized the depth of his depression and seen the signs that he was contemplating suicide. But she didn’t, and to be honest, it kind of fucked her up for a while. She and Kyle are really good for each other. It might sound strange, but I think they believe Alex brought them together.”
“That’s really nice,” Sean said. Damn, but this family had certainly endured its share of drama this year. “How do you navigate all these people? Or do you come from a large family too?”
“Sort of, but I’m actually kind of a loner. Or at least I was. My parents were divorced and had new families, so I was the odd kid out. Settling in with the Archers has been quite an adjustment for me.”
“I can imagine. I’m an only child. And what family I do have is on the other side of the world in England.” He had a few cousins but nothing that came close to the Archer family.
Dylan chuckled. “Total culture shock for you then. Especially with the introduction you’ve had.” He leaned forward and clapped Sean on the shoulder. “You have my condolences.”
“Thanks, but who knows if I’ll need them. I may be on my way out.”
Dylan dropped his hand to his side. “Is that what you want?”
“I’m not sure it matters what I want.”
Dylan’s answering nod carried a hint of pity. “Come on, I’ll show you what we did here.”
It didn’t matter what he wanted? God, how that pissed him off. Like he was absolutely unimportant. Mistake or not, this marriage was between two people, and if one of them wanted to fight for it . . . But did he? He would’ve said no two days ago, but now, after being with Tori again, he wasn’t sure. Yes, she was different, but he saw little flashes of the woman he’d fallen for. If there was any chance that woman was still in her, he’d be a fool to let her get away.
But he couldn’t force her, and right now she demonstrated zero interest. He shook himself as he followed Dylan into the large commercial kitchen. He hadn’t come here to rekindle his marriage. He’d come here to contract a television show that he desperately needed. Schmoozing Tori had been a necessity—one that had failed miserably. It was time to move on to plan B and find another way to make the show happen. That meant getting other Archers on board, and he’d do whatever it took.
TORI SWALLOWED AS she looked at her sister. Shock mingled with hurt in Sara’s eyes. Tori heard the exterior door of the sanctuary swing shut and knew they were alone.
“Well, this explains a lot,” Sara said.
Tori hadn’t expected that reaction. “It does?”
“Your odd behavior, particularly how you were at Derek and Chloe’s wedding. It’s like you can’t stand being around the rest of us because we’re couples.”
Yikes. Had she been that transparent? “It’s not that. I just . . . ” She didn’t know how to explain how she felt, because she wasn’t sure. Yeah, she supposed it had been hard to be around everyone, them being in love and all, but it was more than that. It was the sense of happiness after Alex. She wasn’t sure she could indulge that emotion. Not yet. And she didn’t want to broach that with Sara. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“I think you’re sorry I found out,” Sara said softly. “Why did you keep it a secret?”
Tori crossed her arms over her chest. “Why did you keep Dylan a secret?”
Sara’s brows pitched together, and ire joined the emotion in her gaze. “Really? You’re going to try t
o deflect? You know why I kept my relationship with Dylan a secret at first. But I also wasn’t married to him.”
Frustration and helplessness crested over Tori. “See? This is why I didn’t tell any of you. I knew you’d all think it was a stupid mistake.”
Sara held up her hand, which revealed how she’d pulled her sleeve down so she could worry the edges as she sought sensory input. “Wait a second. I never said I thought you made a mistake. I asked why you kept it a secret. Maybe you could start at the beginning. How did you meet?”
The pull to talk to her sister, to share, drew the words from Tori’s mouth almost involuntarily. “It was New Year’s, at the hotel grand opening in Kuala Lumpur. We fell in lust with each other.” That much was true. So true.
Sara’s expression softened. “I can understand that.”
Tori allowed a half-smile. “We saw each other for a few weeks after that—I went to LA a couple of times, and then we met up in Vegas. The wedding was a lark. We thought it would be a fun story to tell down the road.” Her heart started to beat faster as she permitted herself to think about things she’d shoved away for months. “To our grandchildren or something,” she muttered.
Sara’s eyes rounded briefly. “So you went to Vegas intending to get married?”
“No. I mean, maybe. I don’t know.” She brushed her hair behind her ear. “It was a great weekend.” The words came out in a whisper, as if she were afraid to say them out loud. And she supposed she was. It had all ended so badly . . .
“Tori, what happened?” Sara moved forward, stopping just in front of Tori. “You’re freaking me out.”
Tori tightened her arms around herself, feeling suddenly chilled. Her skin tingled, and her limbs began to shake. “It was the beginning of February.”
All the color drained from Sara’s face. “Oh no . . . It wasn’t . . . ?”
Tori nodded slowly. “It was that weekend. We got married Sunday evening. And I”—the shaking worsened—“I texted Alex after the ceremony. I’d told him about Sean.” She looked at her sister, for the first time letting someone else see the pain she’d endured for so long. “You know how Alex was. We all confided in him. He was just so easy to talk to.”
Sara threw her arms around Tori and hugged her tight. “I know. God, I know.” Her shoulders shook, and Tori knew she was crying.
Tori embraced her sister in return, expecting her own tears. She was surprised when none came. She pulled back. “He texted me back.”
Sara sniffed, wiping her cheeks. “What did he say?”
“He told me to be happy no matter what.”
Sara smiled through her tears. “That’s so great. For that to be the last thing he said to you.”
“But it wasn’t,” Tori whispered, tears now clogging her throat. “He called me later, but I didn’t answer. I saw his missed call in the morning, after Dad woke me up with his call.”
Eyes wide, Sara put her hand over her mouth. “He didn’t leave a voicemail?”
Tori drew in a ragged breath. “No. He called me at twelve oh eight a.m.”
Sara turned and slumped against the wall. Tears tracked down her cheeks once more. “Why didn’t you tell any of us?”
The weight Tori had carried seemed just a bit lighter, but it was still there, pressing on her chest, stealing her breath. “I couldn’t. I can still barely think about it.” Even now, she wanted to shake it from her head and find something else to talk about. Or better yet, leave and go lose herself in a long run or a bath or . . . anything else.
Sara grabbed Tori’s hand and squeezed it, probably more for her own sensory needs than to comfort Tori, though it was for that, too. “You can’t feel guilty about not answering.”
“How? What if he was reaching out for someone to talk him out of what he was doing?”
Sara rubbed her thumb over the back of Tori’s hand. “Then he would’ve called someone else when you didn’t answer.” She blinked. Her thumb stilled. “Do you think he did?”
“That person would have told us.”
Sara stared at her. “Like you did?”
Tori pulled her hand away and refolded her arms over her chest. “Don’t judge me.”
“I’m not judging. I’m trying to understand. Why would you keep all of this to yourself? It has to be such a burden.” Sara pushed away from the wall and moved toward her. “Tori, you aren’t alone. We’re all struggling.”
“I know. It is a burden. One I didn’t want to dump on any of you.”
Sara went to hug her again but stopped herself. “Can I?”
Tori nodded, again understanding that it was more for Sara than for herself. Hugs were nice, but they didn’t solve anything.
Sara rubbed her back for a long minute. When she drew away, she offered a watery smile. “I’m glad you told me—even if you didn’t really want to. We’ll work through this together.”
Through what? Tori’s guilt? Her regret that she’d been off having the time of her life, falling in love, getting married, all while her brother was preparing to kill himself? How the hell did she work through that?
Tori swallowed, happy that she hadn’t actually lost her shit. She straightened away from Sara, backing up a half step. “There’s nothing to work through.”
Sara’s jaw dropped. “Are you kidding? What about Sean?”
“What about Sean?” Tori knew she sounded cold and callous, but Sean wasn’t part of this equation anymore.
“Um, the tiny fact that he’s your husband?”
“On paper. For now. But we’re getting a divorce.”
“Why? It seems like maybe he wants to make it work. Can’t you at least try?”
Tori kept a thin rein on her temper. “Sara, you have no idea what you’re talking about. We got married on a whim. We barely know each other. He lives in LA. I live in San Francisco.”
“You can fix the distance thing—if you really want to.” Sara shook her head. “I don’t understand you. The Tori I know would fight for what she wants.”
“I don’t want Sean.” The words practically scalded her throat. Did that mean they weren’t true? Or was she just so humiliated over the mess she’d made?
Sara gaped at her. “Really? You obviously wanted him at some point.”
Tori couldn’t hold on any longer. She let her emotions go for the first time in . . . she couldn’t remember how long. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Stop talking about the Tori you know or the Tori I used to be. This is the Tori I am now. And this Tori is divorcing Sean and moving on. I cannot wait until this renovation is behind me.”
Sara went pale again and she crossed her arms, pressing her hands against her biceps as she went into full sensory processing mode. “It’s not going to solve anything,” she said sadly. “You can’t run from it forever. Sean isn’t the problem.” She took a deep breath. “What . . . What if Alex hadn’t died? How would your marriage have played out?”
Oh, Tori did not want to go there. She’d tried a few times, but the guilt always won out. How could she find happiness in the midst of Alex’s despair? No, she couldn’t do that to his memory. “Please stop.” Tori made to move past her, but Sara stood firmly in her path.
Sara’s eyes narrowed, and color reentered her cheeks via bright swathes of pink. “No. I’m not going to let you wallow. Yes, Alex’s death changed things, but it didn’t change who we are. He . . . He wouldn’t have wanted that.” Her speech was faltering a bit, a telltale sign that her environment—or in this case, stress—was affecting her processing in a big way. “This hollow shell of his sister would piss him off, and he’d be the first to tell you that. He’d also tell you . . . He’d tell you to pull your head out of your ass.”
It was true. Alex didn’t coddle anyone—he told everyone exactly how it was. Except Liam. There were special rules between the two of them. Rules the rest of them had never understood and probably never would.
“Pretend I’m Alex,” Sara said. “Pull your head out of your ass and re
claim your life. I almost put off living when I started to fall for Dylan. I thought it was the wrong time, that I couldn’t possibly put myself first with so much going on around me. But we don’t get to decide when love happens, Tori. If I learned anything from Alex, it’s that we get one shot at life, and I don’t want to live it with regret.”
Tori’s shoulders sagged. She couldn’t ignore that Sara made sense or that, deep down, she probably knew these things to be true. She’d just spent so long on autopilot . . . She needed to think. “I’d rather no one else knew about Sean.”
Sara dropped her hands to her sides. “I can’t lie to Mom and Dad. Not now. I can’t believe that you can.”
Tori wiped her hands over her face and drew them back down the length of her hair. She angled her head down and stared at the bare wood floor. She couldn’t hide from it anymore. It seemed her grand mistake had finally caught up with her. “I’ll talk to them today, okay?”
“Hey, I know this is hard.” Sara briefly touched her hand lightly. “I’ll be here for whatever you need. It won’t be as bad as you think. It never would’ve been, anyway.”
Who could say? Things were different than they’d been six months ago. Mom was smiling again, laughing. Even Dad had begun to relax. Did she really want to aggravate them again? There were worse things than finding out their daughter had married a guy they’d never met or even knew existed. And hadn’t they already survived the worst thing ever?
Tori looked up at her sister, saw the kindness in her eyes, and felt just a smidgeon better. “Thanks.”
“I’m going to grab Dylan and go. We walked over from his house this morning.”
“Your house, you mean.”
Sara had moved in with Dylan a few weeks ago. “Yeah, our house.” She smiled. “I keep forgetting. I can’t believe you’ve been married all this time! Here, I thought I would be the first Archer kid to get married—Derek notwithstanding.”
Tori was tempted to smile at Sara’s buoyant tone. She knew her sister was trying to cheer her up, and she was grateful for it. “I’ll see you later at dinner.”