by Darcy Burke
She dropped her hips down and ground against his erection. He squeezed her breast, pulling on the nipple until she moaned.
Her hands threaded into his hair and held him close to her. Their pelvises danced as they mimicked sex. Bloody hell, pretending wasn’t going to be enough. He found her waistband and shoved it down to her thighs. She raised herself to straighten out enough so that he could work them past her knees. And again luck smiled on him, as he realized she was going commando. Had she come out here with a master plan?
He dragged his finger between her wet folds, making her gasp and her hips twitch. “I’m beginning to think you came out here with the intention of seducing me in the snow.”
“I didn’t, but that’s not a bad idea.” She sucked in a breath as he slipped his finger into her. “I’ve never had sex in the snow.”
He drew her down so he could kiss her neck. “Me neither,” he said before palming the back of her head and claiming her mouth.
It was a delicate balance—holding her, kissing her, thrusting into her as she rode his hand—but with the snow falling and the intense quiet, it was a dance. She undulated her hips in gentle waves, the motion carrying through her entire body.
Her muscles clenched around him, and he felt her orgasm crest over her. She stiffened but didn’t stop moving. Her soft moans pierced the still air, cranking his lust even hotter.
He reluctantly took his hands from her to unbutton his jeans. Adjusting his clothing, he freed his cock and clasped her hip to guide her onto him. She sank down, her hands on his shoulders and her breasts taunting him as she swayed over him. He thrust deep into her, inhaling sharply as her tightness closed around him.
He shut his eyes and indulged his other senses—the contradiction of the cold air and their hot bodies, the scent of pine and snow, the silence punctuated by their quickened breathing—as she lifted off of him and dropped back, impaling herself on his length. They moved together in harmony, rising and falling, ebbing and cresting. Slowly, beautifully, his orgasm built, his balls tightening as he neared the edge.
Opening his eyes, he reached up and brushed her hair back, caressing her face. She looked down at him, her gaze full of pleasure as she rocked over him.
She clenched around him, her lips curving into a sensuous smile. “Let go, Sean.”
He was already there. With a cry, he came hard, his cock driving up into her in desperate strokes. She kissed him, taking his bliss into her mouth and giving it back to him tenfold.
When she pulled back, he exhaled, his pulse pounding. “I will never look at snow the same way again.”
“And is it like sugar?” she asked.
He nuzzled her neck and pressed a kiss beneath her jaw. “Sweeter.”
TORI CURLED AGAINST Sean on the couch in front of the fire, laying her head on his shoulder. His arm was draped across the back of the sofa, his hand resting on her bicep. The snow had continued all afternoon and through dinner, a simple menu of bagged salad, hearty chicken soup, and crusty sourdough bread. And a delicious bottle of pinot.
“Looks like we might be snowed in by morning,” Sean said.
“We might, but it could warm up enough tomorrow to melt. That is, if you’re planning to leave.” They hadn’t talked about plans. Sean had mentioned finding a job in San Francisco, but that had given her a moment’s panic. It was enough right now for her to think about tomorrow and maybe the next day. Things were going tentatively well, but there were no guarantees. She’d learned, painfully, that life could change in a moment.
“I have absolutely zero plans for tomorrow.” He sipped his wine. “Do you?”
“Nope.”
“Are you sure? I saw that you brought the Kahlúa, a growler of your dad’s beer, and two bottles of wine. That’s a lot of booze for one person. Maybe that was the one true part of Saturday—do you have a drinking problem?” He said it with just enough sarcasm that she was pretty sure he was kidding. Still, she owed him an apology.
“No, I just like having choices.” She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked him in the eye. “I’m sorry about the other day. I was trying to get rid of you. And it wasn’t going well, so I overimbibed.”
He winced. “Ouch. Were you that pissed at me for going to Europe? You understand I didn’t have a choice, right?”
She bristled a little—they always had choices. “I honestly didn’t realize how much it bothered me until today. I was able to just block you from my mind for the most part.”
“Ouch again.”
She stroked his jaw and gave him a soft, regretful smile. “Sorry again. It’s hard because being with you reminds me so much of Alex. He was the only one who knew about us.”
His eyes widened briefly. “He knew?”
She nodded, turning to look at the fire. “I had to tell someone, and he’s the best listener. Was the best listener.” She hated using the past tense. She missed talking to him so much. “I told him after that first weekend in LA, when I knew this wasn’t just a flash in the pan.”
“That’s when you knew?” His question was soft, quiet.
She glanced at him. “Yes. You?”
“About the same time. Actually, the moment I saw you when you stepped out of security at the airport that weekend, I knew it was more than a physical fling. Just seeing you did a number on me. Then by your next visit, I’d fallen hard. Do you remember what I wrote on the beach?”
“Yes. I was thinking about it the other day.”
“You were?” His surprise held a gleeful tone that warmed her.
She nodded. She wanted to ask why he’d gone to Europe, why he hadn’t at least offered to stay. But she thought she knew the answer: He loved his job, and he had dreams of starting his own company within the next five years. Every assignment he took, especially one with a scope like the show he’d filmed in Europe, put him one step closer. Part of her understood that—the old Tori her family was so fond of mentioning appreciated his professional drive and ambition. But she’d changed when Alex had died and was only just understanding those changes now that she was taking the time to look.
Now she realized there was more than advancing your career and putting your own goals ahead of everyone and everything else. If she’d been more aware, less self-involved, she might’ve seen the signs that Alex was suffering. But she hadn’t, and when he’d reached out to her, she’d been completely MIA. The familiar pain that came with remembering that life-changing unanswered phone call pinched her insides.
“Hey,” Sean said, stroking her bicep, “what’s wrong?”
She considered lying, but why? Her family was right; she needed to get past this. “I was thinking about Alex. About his phone call.” She turned slightly, so she could look him in the eye. “I hate not knowing why he called. Did he want me to talk him out of killing himself? What if my not picking up the phone was the difference between his life and death?” She’d started to shake, but it was the first time she hadn’t felt like she couldn’t breathe when she thought of that morning.
“Oh, love.” He put his arms around her and drew her close, pressing a kiss to her temple. “You can’t take responsibility for what he did.”
“I know that, logically. But not knowing . . . never knowing.” Dark, familiar emotion threatened to crush her.
He cupped her face. “We’ll work through this. I’m here for you.”
Just as he’d been there for her then. She’d been hysterical after Dad had called to tell her about Alex. Honestly, if it hadn’t been for Sean, she might’ve curled into a ball and stayed that way for who knew how long. He’d booked her flight to Portland, packed her things, and put her on her way. He’d been, quite simply, amazing. “That was such a terrible morning, but it could’ve been so much worse if not for you. I never thanked you for that.” She touched his cheek. “Thank you.”
She thought back to that day and the domino effect that had followed. Instead of letting him help her, she’d done what she’d always done—she’d tried to ma
nage the situation on her own. But she’d done an absolute crap job of it. She’d pushed him away and somehow expected him to figure out she’d wanted him to stay.
She leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. “I’m glad you’re here now.”
He smiled against her mouth. “Me, too.” He curled his hand around her neck and kissed her. He tasted like pinot and Sean, a delicious combination that stoked heat in her belly.
He pulled back. “Before we get carried away—seems to be a theme today—I’m going to jump in the shower. Feel free to join me if you’d like to get carried away.”
He stood up, and she eyed his ass, perfectly encased in his jeans. “Tempting.”
He flashed his devastating smile and gave his rump a sexy little shake as he set his glass on a table next to the couch. She giggled, and he turned to waggle his brows at her before heading toward the bathroom.
“There are towels in the cabinet,” she called.
“Thanks.”
She grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and tucked it around her waist. Taking a long drink of wine, she stared into the fire and let herself fall into a trance. It was a rare occasion when she allowed herself to just be. She was always thinking, planning, doing. Mom had told her so many times when she was a kid to just slow down. She was trying, but it was hard.
Alex had also told her to slow down. She imagined him and Mom discussing it. She suspected that as the only kid living at home, he probably talked about all of them with Mom and, to a lesser extent, Dad. But he’d never broken Tori’s confidence. Everything she’d ever told him that she’d asked him to keep secret, he had. So many times since his death she’d wondered if he’d lived vicariously through the rest of them. Why wouldn’t he have? He always wanted to hear about her latest travels, her work accomplishments, her races. And he was incredibly supportive and genuinely pleased for all of her success. That was why she’d told him about Sean. She knew he’d be happy for her without judging. His perspective on life was incredibly unique, perhaps because he’d known his was going to be abbreviated.
Anguish seared her chest. How long had he been planning his suicide? Given the purchase of the monastery and the trust—everything he’d done to set all of this in motion—it had to have been months, maybe even years. And no one had ever figured it out. Yes, Alex Archer had taken secret-keeping to a new level.
Which made his phone call even more upsetting to her. Had he finally decided to share one of those secrets, to confide in someone the way they confided in him? She hoped and prayed that was true, but she would likely never know.
She closed her eyes and let herself feel the pain of that morning. Of learning of his death and seeing his missed call. She’d felt so selfish, so ashamed. It had never been the fact that she was married that she wanted to keep secret—it was that she’d done it on the eve of Alex’s death.
The vibration of a phone made her eyes shoot open. The eeriness of a phone ringing right as she was thinking about that sent a chill straight down her spine. She looked over at the sound. Sean’s phone was on the table next to his wineglass. She leaned over the couch and picked it up. The screen read “Mum” and included a picture, which Tori recognized to be Sean’s mother. He’d shown her pictures of his parents and their house in England, particularly his mother’s prize garden.
Glancing over her shoulder toward the bathroom, where she heard the shower running, she wondered if she ought to answer it. What if it was an emergency?
The spectre of the last call she’d missed from a family member made the decision for her. She swiped her finger across the screen and took a deep breath. “Hello?”
“Hello? Is this Sean’s phone?” His mother had the dearest accent. Its lilt instantly comforted Tori’s anxiety, or at least took the edge off of it.
“Yes, it is. This is Tori. His, uh, your daughter-in-law.” She winced, suddenly embarrassed that she’d been married to him for eight months and had never spoken to this woman.
“Oh!” She spoke away from the phone. “Charlie, it’s his wife!” She came back. “I’m so pleased to speak with you,” she gushed, increasing Tori’s shame. “You’re with Sean in Los Angeles then?”
“No, we’re in Oregon, actually.”
“Oh! Isn’t that where your family lives? Does that mean Sean got to meet them finally?”
More wincing. Tori dropped her forehead into her palm. “Yes.” She tried to think of something else to say, but her mouth wouldn’t seem to function.
“That’s so lovely to hear. Sean’s been wanting to meet them. I know it was months ago, but we were so sorry to hear about your brother, and right after your wedding, too.” She tsked, and Tori was surprised to find this woman’s sympathy actually eased the pain that thinking of that night usually wrought.
“Thank you. It has been a long time, but in so many ways it feels like yesterday. I’ve had trouble adjusting. Sean’s been incredibly patient. And so have you,” she added. Then she squeezed her eyes shut. She and Sean hadn’t discussed anything about the future yet. Why get this kind woman’s hopes up if they decided they couldn’t make this work? It was one thing to share a red-hot attraction and another to have it translate into a day-to-day relationship, something they’d never done and she wasn’t sure she was even capable of at this point in her life.
“Oh, we understand. It’s hard with you both so far away, anyway. We miss Sean very much, but we’re extremely proud of him.”
Tori opened her eyes, relieved to have the subject change. “You should be. He’s doing really well.” Especially since he’d just scored her family’s show.
“He’s such a good boy. I don’t know what we’d do without him.” She chuckled. “That’s not true. I do know! Charlie wouldn’t be going in for his hip surgery in a couple of weeks, and I’d have to give up my garden!”
Did Sean support them? Tori had no idea. Maybe his work was more than just ambition. Maybe he needed it in a way Tori didn’t need hers.
Yikes. She was such a self-absorbed brat. Yes, she needed to support herself, but she, along with all of her siblings, had a safety net in their trust funds. “Do you want to talk to him?”
Tori set the blanket aside and got up from the couch. As she walked toward the bathroom, she heard the shower shut off.
“Yes, please, though I don’t want to cut our conversation short.”
“It’s fine. I’m sure we’ll have lots of time to chat.” Ugh, why had she said that? She didn’t have a crystal ball. Things felt great right now, but this wasn’t the real world. This was a bubble, and when they left it, all of the questions from before would be right there waiting for them.
Tori opened the bathroom door and was greeted by a waft of steam.
Sean pushed back the shower curtain. “I’m already done. Want me to turn it back on?”
Tori put her finger to her lips and stifled a laugh. “Your mom’s on the phone.”
His eyes widened. “I see.” He grabbed the towel and wrapped it around his waist. After swiping his palms down to dry them, he held out his hand.
Tori gave him the phone and turned.
“Hi, Mum.”
She closed the door behind her and went back to the couch. His mother’s words tramped around in her brain and settled in to make themselves comfortable. It certainly sounded as if Sean’s parents relied on him, and if that was the case, his job took on a much different value. She suddenly couldn’t think of a reason not to do the show. Before, when she’d wanted to keep him at arm’s length, she hadn’t wanted to do it, but now it would give them a reason to spend time together. And that sounded nice—better than nice, really.
A few minutes later, he came back into the living room, his dark, wavy hair damp and mussed—by the towel, she surmised. He wore a T-shirt and pajama pants. “Thanks for answering my phone. I have to say, I’m surprised.” He dropped down next to her on the couch and set his phone on the table beside his wineglass.
“If you think I was going t
o ignore a phone call from a family member, think again.” Her currently meddling siblings notwithstanding.
He put his hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze. “Right. Well, you made my mother’s day.”
Tori smiled. “I’m glad.”
He looked toward the fire. “Of course, now she wants to know when we’re coming for a visit. She suggested Christmas.” He slid her a sidelong glance. “I explained that I’ll be tied up with a couple of productions for the next several months.
The Christmas special and Kyle’s series. Tori took a deep breath and angled herself toward him. “I’ve been thinking, and I’ve decided to do the show. You know, since everyone else is.”
He turned his head and stared at her. Surprise was quickly followed by elation in his gaze. “I’m so glad. It’s going to be really great—you’ll see.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek, his lips soft against her skin. He smelled of bodywash and that special Sean cologne she adored.
She turned and kissed him. He cradled the back of her head, and when the kiss broke, he tipped his forehead against hers. “Thank you,” he said against her mouth.
Curling her arms around his neck, she pivoted and eased back on the couch, drawing him down on top of her. She inhaled and then kissed and nipped his neck. “You smell so fresh and clean.”
“Then I guess you better dirty me up.” He pulled up from her questing mouth and gazed down at her with seductive promise. He stroked her hair away from her face and leaned down to take her mouth in a possessive kiss.
She dug her fingers into his upper back and met his tongue stroke for stroke. Easing her legs apart so he could nestle between them, she relished his heat against her core. They fit together so perfectly. She didn’t know if she’d ever had a more perfect moment than this—the snow outside, the fire, the contentment she felt in this man’s arms.
And she never wanted it to end.
Chapter Seventeen