Sprig Muslin

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by Джорджетт Хейер


  “No, no, it’s no pleasure to me to see you, old fellow!” Mr. Theale assured him. “In fact, if I weren’t in the basket I wouldn’t have come here, because to see you fretting and fuming is enough to give one a fit of the dismals.”

  “When last I saw you,” said the Earl suspiciously, “you told me you had made a recover! Said you had had a run of luck at faro, and were as fresh as ever.”

  “Dash it, that was a month ago!” expostulated Mr. Theale. “You can’t expect it to be high water with me for ever! Not but what if you could trust to the form-book I ought to be able to buy an abbey by now. But there it is! First there was the Salisbury meeting—by the by, old fellow, did you lay your blunt on Corkscrew? Got a notion I told you to.”

  “No, I didn’t,” replied the Earl shortly.

  “Good thing,” approved Mr. Theale. “Damned screw wasn’t placed. Then there was Andover! Mind you, if I’d followed my own judgment, Whizgig would have carried my money, and very likely I wouldn’t be here today. However, I let Jerry earwig me into backing Ticklepitcher, so here I am. I hear you was at the July meeting at Newmarket, and came off all right,” he added dispassionately.

  “As to that—”

  “Three winners, and a devilish long price you must have got on True-blue, my boy! If I were half as tetchy as you are, I should take it mighty ill that you didn’t pass me the word.”

  “I’ll grease you in the fist on one condition!” said the Earl brutally.

  “Anything you please, dear boy!” said Mr. Theale, impervious to insult. “Just tip over the dibs!”

  “I have Ludlow coming here today, on a visit, and I shall be glad if you will take yourself off!”

  “Ludlow?” said Mr. Theale, mildly surprised. “What the devil’s he coming here for?”

  “He’s coming to offer for Hester, and I don’t want him to hedge off, which I don’t doubt he will, if you try to break his shins!”

  “Well, by God!” exclaimed Mr. Theale. “Damme if ever I thought Hester would contract an engagement at all, let alone catch a man like Ludlow on her hook! Well, this is famous! I wouldn’t put his fortune at a penny less than twelve thousand pounds a year! Very right to warn me, dear boy: fatal to borrow any money from him until you have the knot safely tied! Shouldn’t dream of making the attempt. I hope he means to come down handsome?”

  “Will you,” said the Earl, controlling his spleen with a visible effort, “take yourself off to Leicestershire?”

  “Make it a monkey, old fellow, and I’ll be off first thing in the morning,” said Mr. Theale obligingly.

  With this promise the Earl had to be content, though he made a spirited effort to improve the terms of the bargain before at last agreeing to them. Nothing, it was clear, would avail to dislodge his brother until the following day, Mr. Theale pointing out very reasonably that it was rather too much to expect that he would set forth on his travels again before he had recovered from the exhaustion entailed by a journey of more than sixty miles. It had taken him two days to achieve this prodigious distance, travelling at a sedate pace in his own carriage, with his valet following behind in a hired coach with all his baggage. “And even with my own fellow to drive me I felt queasy,” he said. “Mind, if I had the sort of stomach that didn’t turn over on me when I’m being jolted and rocked over these devilish bad roads I’d pack up and be off this instant, because I can see we’re bound to spend a damned flat evening here. Wouldn’t do to hook Ludlow in for a rubber or two, for though I don’t doubt you and I, Giles, if we played together, which would be arranged, would physic him roundly, it would be bad policy! Besides, we should have to hook in Widmore to make a fourth, and there’s no sense in winning his money, even if he could be got to sport a little blunt, which I’ve never know him do yet. Of course, you’re his father, but you must own he’s a paltry fellow!”

  So the Earl was forced to resign himself, which he would have done more easily had not Mr. Theale’s family loyalty prompted him to lend his aid to the preparations in train for the entertainment of the expected guest. Since this took the form of an invasion of the kitchens, where he maddened the cook by freely editing the dinner to be set before Sir Gareth; and a voyage of exploration to the cellars, whence he brought to light several crusted bottles which the Earl had been jealously preserving, it was not long before his brother’s little stock of patience was exhausted, Forcefully adjured to cease meddling, he was obliged to seek diversion in other fields, with the result that a young housemaid, unused to the ways of the Quality, was thrown into strong hysterics, and had to have her ears boxed before she could be induced to stop screeching that she was an honest maid, and desired instantly to return to her mother’s protection.

  “And very stupid it was of Mrs. Farnham to send that girl of all others to make up Fabian’s bed!” said Lady Widmore, in her customary forthright style. “She must know what your uncle is!”

  By the time Sir Gareth and his protégée were ushered into the Grand Saloon the only members of the family, gathered there, whose sensibilities had not been in some way or other ruffled were Mr. Theale and Lady Widmore. The Earl was on the one hand uncertain what his daughter’s answer was going to be, and on the other he had been reduced to a state of impotent fury by his brother’s activities; Lord Widmore shared his parent’s misgivings, and was very much put out by the discovery that five hundred pounds, urgently needed on the estate, had been bestowed upon his uncle; and Lady Hester, exhorted and commanded to the point of distraction, was looking positively hagged. A gown of lilac silk, with a demi-train, three rows of flounces, a quantity of ivory lace, and knots of violet velvet ribbons enhanced her pallor; and her abigail, in her anxiety to present her mistress at her best, had slightly over-crimped her soft brown hair. Lately, she had adopted a cap, but although this circumstance had apparently escaped the notice of her relations for several weeks it had today come in for such unmeasured censure that she had wearily removed the wisp of lace.

  “And let me tell you, Hetty, that a stupid sort of indifference is by no means becoming in you!” said her father severely. “These dawdling and languid airs are enough to give Ludlow a disgust of you.”

  “Now, don’t fidget the girl!” recommended Mr. Theale. “Ten to one, Ludlow won’t notice she ain’t in spirits, because what with you in one of your distempered freaks, and Widmore looking as sulky as a bear, he’ll have enough to frighten him off without looking at Hester. In fact, it is just as well I took it into my head to visit you. You can’t deny I’m a dashed sight better company than the rest of you.”

  The Earl’s retort was cut short on his lips by the opening of the double-doors into the saloon.

  “Miss Smith!” announced the butler, in the voice of one heralding disaster. “Sir Gareth Ludlow!”

  Chapter 5

  “Eh?” ejaculated the Earl, in a sort of bark, wheeling round, and staring with slightly protuberant eyes at the vision on the threshold.

  Amanda, colouring deliciously under the concentrated scrutiny of so many pairs of eyes, lifted her chin a little. Sir Gareth went forward, saying easily: “How do you do? Your servant, Lady Widmore! Lady Hester!” He took the cold hand she had mechanically stretched out to him, lightly kissed it, and retained it in his. “May I present Miss Smith to you, and solicit your kindness on her behalf? I have assured her that she may depend on that. The case is that she is the daughter of some old friends with whom I have been staying, and I engaged myself to conduct her to Huntingdon, where she was to be met by some relations. But either through a misunderstanding, or some mishap, no carriage had been sent to meet her there, and since I could not leave her in a public inn, there was nothing for it but to bring her here.”

  Every vestige of colour had drained away from the Lady Hester’s cheeks when she had looked up to perceive the lovely girl at Sir Gareth’s side, but she replied with tolerable composure: “Of course! We shall be most happy.” She drew her hand away, and went to Amanda. “What a horrid predicament! I am so glad
Sir Gareth brought you to us. I must make you known to my sister-in-law, Lady Widmore.”

  Amanda raised her brilliant eyes to Lady Hester’s gentle gray ones, and suddenly smiled. The effect of this upon the assembled gentlemen caused Lady Widmore’s already high colour to deepen alarmingly. Mr. Theale, who had been regarding the youthful beauty with the eye of a dispassionate connoisseur, sighed soulfully; the Earl’s indignant stare changed to one of reluctant admiration; and Lord Widmore was moved to adjust his neckcloth, throwing out his narrow chest a little. However, as he caught his wife’s fulminating eye at that moment, he was speedily recalled to a sense of his position, and altered a somewhat fatuous smile to a frown.

  “An awkward situation indeed!” agreed Lady Widmore, subjecting Amanda to a critical scrutiny. “But you have your abigail with you, I must suppose!”

  “No, because she fell ill, and, besides, there was no room for her in the curricle,” replied Amanda, with aplomb.

  “In the curricle?” exclaimed Lord Widmore, looking very much shocked. “Driving with Ludlow in a curricle, without some respectable female to chaperon you? Upon my soul! I do not know what the world is coming to!”

  “Now, don’t talk like a nick-ninny, Cuthbert!” begged his uncle. “Damme if I see what anyone wants with a chaperon in a curricle! If it had been a chaise, it would have been another matter, of course.”

  “If Miss Smith was travelling in Sir Gareth’s charge, sir, she had no need of her abigail to take care of her,” interposed Hester, her tone mildly reproving.

  “No,” said Amanda gratefully. “And I had no desire to go with him, either, and am very well able to take care of myself!”

  “You have had your hands full, I collect!” Lady Widmore said, putting up her sandy brows at Sir Gareth.

  “Not at all!” he retorted. “I have had a charming companion, ma’am!”

  “Oh, I don’t doubt that!”she said, with a laugh. “Well, child, I suppose I had best take you upstairs! You will wish to change your dress before dinner. I daresay they will have unpacked your trunk by now.”

  “Yes,” said Amanda doubtfully. “I mean—that is—” She stopped, blushing, and looking imploringly towards Sir Gareth.

  He responded at once to this mute appeal, saying, with the flicker of a reassuring smile: “That is the most awkward feature of the whole business, isn’t it, Amanda? Her trunk, ma’am, I must suppose to be at Oundle, for it was despatched by carrier yesterday. We could find room only for a couple of bandboxes in my curricle.”

  “Despatched yesterday?” said the Earl. “Seems an odd circumstance, then, that these relations of hers shouldn’t have kept their engagement to meet her! What the devil should she send her trunk for, if she didn’t mean to follow it?”

  “That, sir,” said Sir Gareth, quite unshaken, “is what makes us fear some mischance.”

  “I expect it has been delayed,” said Lady Hester. “How vexing! But not of the least consequence.”

  “Lord, Hetty, what an addle-brained creature you are! If it ain’t of any consequence, it ain’t vexing either!”

  “How silly of me!” murmured Hester, accepting this rebuke in an absentminded way. “Will you let me take you upstairs, Miss Smith? Don’t put yourself about, Almeria! I will attend to Miss Smith.”

  Amanda looked rather relieved; and Sir Gareth, who had moved to the door, said, under his breath, as Hester paused beside him to let her guest pass before her out of the room: “Thank you! I knew I might rely on you.”

  She smiled a little wistfully, but said nothing. He closed the door behind her, and she paused for a moment, looking at Amanda, and blinking as though in an attempt to bring that enchanting face into focus. Amanda gave her back stare for stare, her chin well up, and she said, in her shy, soft voice: “How very pretty you are! I wonder which room Mrs. Farnham has prepared for you? It must be wretchedly uncomfortable for you, but pray don’t heed it! We will think just what should be done presently.”

  “Well,” said Amanda, following her to the staircase, “for my part, I can see that it is most uncomfortable for you to be obliged to receive me when I haven’t an evening-gown to wear, and as for Sir Gareth, it is all his fault, and he told you nothing but the most shocking untruths, besides having abducted me!”

  Hester paused, with her hand on the banister-rail, and looked back, startled. “Abducted you? Dear me, how excessively odd of him! Are you quite sure you are not making a mistake?”

  “No, it is precisely as I say,” replied Amanda firmly. “For I never set eyes on him before today, and although at first I was quite deceived in him, because he looks just like all one’s favourite heroes, which all goes to show that one shouldn’t set any store by appearances, I now know that he is a most odious person—though still very like Sir Lancelot and Lord Orville,” she added conscientiously.

  Lady Hester looked wholly bewildered. “How can this be? You know, I am dreadfully stupid, and I don’t seem able to understand at all, Miss Smith!”

  “I wish you will call me Amanda!” suddenly decided that damsel. “I find I cannot bear the name of Smith! The thing is that it was the only name I could think of when nothing would do for Sir Gareth but to know who I was. I daresay you know how it is when you are obliged, on the instant, to find a name for yourself?”

  “No—that is, I have never had occasion—but of course I see that one would think of something very simple,” Hester replied apologetically.

  “Exactly so! Only you can have no idea how disagreeable it is to be called Miss Smith, which, as it happens, was the name of the horridest governess I ever had!”

  Utterly befogged, Hester said: “Yes, indeed, although—You know, I think we should not stay talking here, for one never knows who may be listening! Do, pray, come upstairs!”

  She then led Amanda to the upper hall, where they were met by her abigail, a middle-aged woman of hostile aspect, whose devotion to her mistress’s interests caused her to view Amanda with suspicion and dislike. The news that Sir Gareth Ludlow had arrived at Brancaster with a regular out-and-outer on his arm had rapidly spread through the house; and Miss Povey knew just what to think of beauties who possessed no other luggage than a couple of bandboxes, and travelled unattended by their abigails or governesses. She informed Lady Hester that the Blue bedchamber had been prepared for the Young Person: an announcement that brought Lady Hester’s eyes to her face, a tiny frown in them: “What did you say, Povey?” she asked.

  The tone was as gentle as ever, but Miss Povey, permitting herself only the indulgence of a sniff, lost no time in altering her phraseology. “For the young lady, I should say, my lady.”

  “Oh, yes! The Blue bedchamber will be just the one. Thank you: I shan’t need you any longer.”

  This dismissal by no means pleased the handmaiden. On the one hand, she was extremely reluctant to wait upon Amanda, and would, indeed, have bitterly resented a command to do so; but, on the other, she was agog with curiosity. After a brief struggle with her feelings, she said: “I thought, my lady, being as how Miss hasn’t brought her own abigail, she would like me to dress her hair, and that.”

  “Yes, presently,” said Hester. “And perhaps, since Miss Smith’s trunk has gone to Oundle, you could bring that pink gown of mine to her room.” She smiled diffidently at Amanda, adding: “Should you object to wearing one of my dresses? I think it would become you, for it is too young for me, and I have not worn it more than once.”

  “No, not at all. In fact, I shall be excessively obliged to you,” replied Amanda warmly. “For the only other gown I have with me is another morning one, and I daresay it will be odiously crumpled. And this one is very dirty, through my having walked a great distance in it, besides being in the carrier’s cart, though I took the greatest care to wrap my cloak round me.”

  “Muslin seems to pick up the dirt so easily!”agreed Hester, accepting the carrier’s cart as the merest commonplace. “But Povey will wash and iron it for you to wear again in the morning.”
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  With these calmly uttered words, she led Amanda into her allotted bedchamber, firmly closing the door on her scandalised abigail.

  The bandboxes had been unpacked, and Amanda’s few possessions disposed in the appropriate places. That damsel, after a comprehensive survey of the apartment, awarded it her approval, adding candidly: “And Sir Gareth was quite right: I do like you very much, ma’am, though I quite thought I should not!”

  “I am so glad,” murmured Hester. “Do let me untie the strings of your hat!”

  “Yes,” said Amanda, submitting to this, “but I must warn you, because I never tell lies to people I like, that I do not at all wish to visit an Earl!”

  “I expect you have been brought up on revolutionary principles,” said Hester wisely. “I do not, myself, know very much about it, but I believe that many people nowadays—”

  “Oh, no! But the thing is that I particularly wish to establish myself in the sort of situation from which one’s relations are bound to rescue one. And if it had not been for Sir Gareth I daresay I might have done it. I was never so taken-in! He said he would take me to Huntingdon, where I had every expectation of being hired as a chambermaid at the George,—at least, that is what I thought he said he would do, only I soon discovered that it was all a hoax—and then, when he had lured me into his curricle, he brought me here instead!”

  Lady Hester, quite bewildered by this recital, sat down a little weakly, and said: “I don’t think I perfectly understand, Amanda. I expect it is because I am being stupid, but if you could tell it all to me from the start I am persuaded I shall. But not, of course, if you don’t wish! I don’t care to ask you questions, for there is nothing more disagreeable than to be obliged to listen to questions, and scoldings, and good advice.” Her sudden smile, which betrayed a gleam of shy mischief in her eyes, swept across her face. “You see, I have suffered from that all my life.”

 

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