The Ingredients of You and Me

by Nina Bocci

  “How’ve you been?”

  I snorted, not helping the blunt response. “I just saw you a couple hours ago. Not much has changed.”

  Turning, I watched him rub the back of his neck.

  “So, fine, I guess?”

  “Yes, I’m fine,” I stated coolly. “Are you here for Mancini? She’ll be here soon. How did you know I was here?”

  I was confused as to why he was here, since he wasn’t supposed to spend time alone with me. Perhaps that was why he’d bolted before dawn. Jillian’s warning was to be heeded, not ignored, if he wanted to keep himself in her good graces.

  “I know. Mrs. M. let me know you were going to be here. I thought maybe I could help since we didn’t, uh, get to talk the other day about the business idea. Unless you don’t want my input anymore, since, you know.”

  I stiffened, not liking that conflicting feelings were brewing. There was a large part of me that wanted to spend time with Nick, but not at the expense of my own self-preservation. Plus, I didn’t want distractions when I needed to be sharp for my announcement. “Sure, Nick. Whatever you’d like to do.” It came out bitchier than I’d intended, but what was the point of friendship if it was a one-way street?

  “Parker, I’m sorry about this morning,” he said. “I really am. I should have stayed.”

  “Okay.”

  “I am sorry, whether you believe it or not. I woke up and panicked when I realized where I was. Jillian had called a couple times. I—”

  He paused, and I was grateful that he did, because I really didn’t want to hear that Jillian, the super-sweet girlfriend who was the opposite of me, was the reason that he’d left.

  “Nick, it’s fine. Maybe it’s better if we try to avoid each other while I’m here or whenever I visit. I really don’t want to be the cause of any fights you and she may have. I don’t really have the time or energy for it.” I couldn’t bring myself to say her name. Petty, sure, but a girl could only take so much.

  “It’s not that. We talked, and I explained that we’re just friends and that we were going to be seeing each other. She doesn’t know everything that happened between us. I don’t want to tell her that. I don’t think she’d understand.”

  That makes two of us.

  “You do whatever you’ve got to do. I appreciate the offer, but you don’t have to stay if you think it’s going to cause an issue. We’re not in a group setting, so this isn’t allowed anyway.”

  I took off, walking toward the back of the space, where there was a heavy door that led into what I was visualizing as the classroom setting. The lights in the building weren’t on, and this room had no windows to provide outside light like the front space did. When I walked in, I realized too late that I couldn’t find a switch, and the door shut behind me.

  “Shit.” I felt around for the doorknob and came up empty. My phone was in my purse in the main area, and I prayed that Nick didn’t heed my urging to leave or I’d be stuck until Mancini and the ladies showed up.

  Banging on the door, I called out. I heard him shuffle over. “Parker?” he asked, his voice muffled by the thick door.

  “Yeah. I’m glad you’re still here. I got locked in, and it’s completely black in here. I don’t have my phone to use as a flashlight. I can’t find a light switch anywhere.”

  I could hear him jimmying the door, but it wasn’t opening. “Okay, well, the bad news is the door is stuck,” he explained, continuing to wiggle the handle. Following the sound, I found the inside handle, but it was also stuck.

  “What am I going to do?” I asked, a rush of panic making me nauseous. I didn’t like the dark and feeling like I was trapped in it.

  “Take a step back. I’m going to slam my weight into the door to try to get it to open,” he instructed.

  I took two tentative steps back, since I couldn’t see where I was going and if anything was behind me. My heart was racing from being in the dark. I’d hated it since I was a kid and got locked in the basement by accident.

  Sweat collected on my forehead and my palms were slick. The only thing saving me from a full-blown panic attack was hearing Nick struggling to get in by slamming his body weight against the door.

  “I feel like I’m almost the—”

  Nick flew in through the doorway, his large body slamming into me. With an uncomfortable oof, we collided and tumbled to the floor, his arms wrapped protectively around me. We rolled once, and I ended up lying half on top of him.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled into his chest.

  Just enough light was coming in from the front room and windows for me to see him clearly. Luckily the door hadn’t closed after he barreled in.

  His hand was lying on my bare skin, just above where my jeans ended and below where my shirt had rolled up from the tumble. His palm felt hot and slick against my skin, which was odd considering how cold it was outside and in the room. When I looked down at him, his eyes were squeezed shut, and his mouth was open, lips pursed as he exhaled slowly.

  “Nick,” I choked out. “Did I break you?”

  “Almost,” he said with a smile. “I’m pretty sure everything is still where it belongs.”

  “Do you want to check?”

  “Did you really just ask me if I wanted to check?”

  I shook my head. “Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

  His hand fisted the back of my shirt for a second before he released it and opened his eyes slowly.

  “I’m going to slide off of you, okay?” I asked, bracing my hands on either side of him to make it easier to shove off of his body.

  “Pickle chips. Pickle pizza. Pickle juice. Pickle—”

  “Are you hungry?”

  He laughed. “I’m trying to make something go away.”

  “Ohhh!” I said, stretching out the word. “So, you’re saying not to move?”

  He didn’t respond with words, just a curt nod.

  “What if I just hop up?” I tried to get up in one smooth motion, but it didn’t work as planned and I ended up pushing off of him by placing my hands on his chest. His muscles flexed beneath my palms. When I finally got to my feet, I held out my hand for him to take it so I could help him up.

  He shook his head and held up a finger. “Just need a second,” he explained, staring at the ceiling and breathing heavily.

  Don’t look down. Don’t look down. Don’t look down.

  I looked down.

  Oh. Oh!

  A throat cleared from the doorway and we both turned to see Mancini, Viola, and Clara standing there with confused expressions.

  “Are we interrupting, dears?” Mancini asked, eyeing Nick and me. “I know you said to meet at Charlotte’s place but we thought we heard a ruckus. We came to investigate.”

  Of course you did.

  Nick sprang up from the floor and backed away as if I was on fire and he needed to keep a safe distance.

  “Nope,” I said, taking my own step away from him. Which, of course, didn’t go unnoticed by any of them.

  “I got locked in and Nick had to ram the door open. Then we fell.”

  “Uh-huh,” Mancini murmured. I took a step toward them, and Clara grinned. I would need to nip this gossip in the bud before the whole town found out, and our collision turned into a story about the ladies catching Nick and me in a passionate embrace.

  “Ladies, I’m glad you’re here,” I said, changing the subject as I marched past them and into the main part of the shop. I turned to see the three of them looking excited and following me. Nick, for whatever reason, stayed in the back room.

  “Parker, is there anything you need to tell us?” Mancini was fishing.

  I shook my head, hoping to appear nonchalant. “Nope.”

  As if sensing that I needed a bit of salvation, Clara piped up, “You share when you’ve got something to share.”

  “I do have some things to discuss about the—”

  “Parker, if this is about the videos,” Mancini began, “we were thinking—”

&
nbsp; “Yes?”

  “Well, we were just thinking that we’re a bit…” she said, sounding nervous.

  “Oh no, you’re rethinking it? If you’re not comfortable, we can do something else. Maybe you just stand and hand me ingredients and I do the talking? We’ll work it out so you’re all on board and feeling great about this,” I rambled, hoping that this could be salvaged.

  “That’s not it at all,” Mancini explained, reaching out and taking my hand. “We were just thinking that we should maybe record a couple videos in advance so we can stick to the once-a-week posting schedule.” She took out a notepad. “We made some notes last night about ideas for upcoming shows.”

  My relief was immediate. “This is great!” I said excitedly. “I’m glad you guys are taking the lead on this. After all, this is all about you.”

  “Oh, good. We were worried that you’d be mad,” Viola said sheepishly. “Or back out because Nick’s video was so cute and you want to do a solo project with him.” She elbowed Mancini and smiled. “I think we were afraid that you thought we were edging you out.”

  “No, never! Besides, this is your venture. I’m just helping. This brings me to my idea and unfortunately, due to timing, it’s something we need to act on quickly.”

  “Oh, really?” Mancini said gleefully. “What could it possibly be?”

  I watched the three of them exchange knowing glances.

  “You already know, don’t you?” I asked, wondering who had spilled the beans before I was able to run it by them.

  Mancini at least had the decency to look guilty. “Oh, talk gets around town quickly, dear. Don’t be mad at Cooper. He didn’t spill the beans, necessarily. Viola’s daughter is the town solicitor, so she happened to overhear when Cooper mentioned it at the office, and she happened to mention it to Viola, who told me and Clara at aerobics earlier.”

  “What else?” I asked, seeing that they were still bouncing to say something else.

  Mancini smiled. “Emma was more forthcoming when we saw her at the pharmacy. She said it’ll be similarly set up to a community garden. Parker, that’s genius. We used to have a garden, you know. Back in the sixties over by where you’re living, funnily enough.”

  My God, this town left no stone unturned. “I had no idea. I’ve never had much of a green thumb so I can’t help kick-start that again, but why not this? It’s a good investment for the town and for my soul.”

  “Parker, are you sure? I mean, that’s a big task that you’d be taking on,” Viola said, brows furrowed.

  “Viola, you look worried.” I walked over to her to put my arm around her.

  She nodded. “I’m very busy with the ice-cream shop. Maybe not now because of the off-season, but come April, it’ll start to pick up again. I don’t know that I’ll have time to devote to this,” she explained sadly. Her friends looked on with concern.

  “I thought about that. I figure that if you ladies and your league of extraordinary women are the faces of it, we can work out a schedule that makes sense for everyone. If, and this is a huge if, you’re willing to do it. I can help too when I’m here, and ultimately, it’ll only draw more business to the ice-cream parlor too. My hope is that every small business in Hope Lake has an uptick in patrons thanks to The Baked Nanas.”

  Mancini clapped her hands excitedly, and when Cooper walked in a few minutes later, they rushed over to tell him they were in and spent the next ten minutes bombarding him with questions.

  “I think this sounds amazing, Parker,” Cooper said, looking up from the ladies. “So, are you officially going to make an offer on this place?”

  Their enthusiasm was immediate, but it wasn’t without a sense of worry.

  “I need to look at my finances—”

  “If I move some things around, I can—”

  “I’ll sell some stocks—”

  I smiled. “Ladies, stop! We didn’t get to this part yet, for good reason.” I shot a glance at Cooper, who looked apologetic for the gaffe. “Like I said earlier, I’m using this as an investment property. Not just financially, but emotionally too. If I have something like this feeding my soul, I think it’ll help me figure out the next phase of my life.”

  Mancini started to interject but I raised my hand.

  “I’ve been thinking about this. I’ll front the money for start-up costs and then we’ll work out a plan to pay me back once the bakery is profitable. I’ll take a small percentage, but then the rest of the profits will go back to the store. I want to do this. I can’t explain it, but I feel like it’s something that I have to do.”

  Nick finally came out of the back room, surprising Cooper, who immediately engaged him in silent conversation using only his eyes, a raised eyebrow, and a subtle head tilt.

  The art of a silent broversation was something that mystified me.

  “If we’re done here,” Cooper began, holding the door open for us all to file out, “my fiancée wants to meet us at the diner for a quick meeting and a bite to eat. Mancini, it was a joy to see you, as always.”

  “Parker, do you need a ride?” Cooper offered, and Mancini looked on expectantly. “Or you can go with Nick. Whatever is easier.”

  “I’ve got to grab my stuff, but I’ll see you there in a bit,” I said, eyeing Nick, who lingered by the door. If he wanted to talk again, I would have to gently explain that now wasn’t the time. The conversational whiplash was getting to me.

  Viola, Mancini, and Clara filed out behind Cooper, chatting away about how excited they were.

  That left Nick and me alone again.

  “Instead of calling an Uber, if you want, I can take you. We can discuss the business,” he said.

  “Nick, you know that nothing between us is ever just one thing. It’s never just a conversation. It’s not just a trip to your house. It’s not just a dip in the lake. It’s an impossible combination of things and a slippery slope that I can’t slide down again. I’m still recovering from the first time around.”

  He rolled back on his heels. “I don’t want us to walk on eggshells around each other. That’s actually the last thing I want. That and awkwardness. I miss the friendship that went along with everything else. It’s just navigating the new terrain that’s confusing me.”

  “Me too. I want to try being friends.”

  I still couldn’t help but think that the back-and-forth and the hot-and-cold between us was getting to him as much as it was getting to me.

  The 81 Diner was a traditional East Coast diner filled with linoleum floors and plastic-covered booths. Needless to say, I loved it and the menu. Classic diner food was always something I gravitated toward when the opportunity arose.

  The truck was barely in the parking spot before I was sliding out of it and away from a stunned-looking Nick.

  The diner was packed with locals yammering about whatever made the town tick. Cooper, Emma, Charlotte, and Henry were already seated, and Henry and Cooper stood when I arrived at the table.

  “Well, that’s awfully old-fashioned,” I said, giving both a one-armed hug. “I sort of love it.” I turned to Emma and Charlotte and grinned. “Ladies.”

  “Parker,” they said in unison. Charlotte was smiling, but poor Emma looked a bit green.

  I mouthed Okay? to her when Cooper wasn’t looking. She nodded, smiling at Charlotte.

  “Sit anywhere. We’re just here to chat about a couple of things as a group.”

  As a group. I wanted to disinvite myself as I was only a tiny part of this, but I figured they wouldn’t have asked if they didn’t really want me there. For the briefest of seconds, I felt the slightest bit guilty that Jillian wasn’t here for Nick, but I got over it when he held the chair out for me to take a seat. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and Nick and I weren’t going to magically be fixed after one conversation.

  Taking the seat across from me, Nick set his phone on the table and it lit up immediately with a stream of messages. I couldn’t read them, but I could see that they were all text notifications from the
same name.

  Jillian.

  He wasn’t breaking his promise, I guess, since we were in a group setting. However, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was going to jump out in surprise and randomly show up again. If that was the case, I wanted to be nowhere in sight. I had had about enough of the Jillian-Nick saga for a lifetime.

  Once the waitress came to take our orders and left, Emma looked at Cooper and smiled. He nodded and she turned to the group.

  “So, the reason we asked you all here today was because we have a lot to discuss,” Emma started, and Charlotte shifted anxiously in her seat.

  I had a feeling that Emma would be discussing the pregnancy and I had a feeling that Cooper finally knew since he was beaming, but Nick and Henry still seemed to be in the dark.

  “First things first, Cooper and I want to let you know that everything for the wedding is going on as planned. We’ll be hitched at the end of July, and Parker, we’d like to ask if you’d help us out with the wedding desserts. I know wedding cakes aren’t what you’re used to doing, but we’re not going traditional anyway. We’re thinking individual desserts that the guests can pick and choose from.”

  “Oh wow, I’d love to! That is an honor, truly.”

  Nick smiled, the first genuine one I had seen from him today. That was, until his phone lit up, this time with a phone call.

  Jillian.

  “Excuse me, everybody,” Nick apologized, standing from the table with his phone clenched in his hand. “I’ll be right back.”

  “He won’t be,” Emma said when he was out of earshot. “She even called me this morning asking where he was, since he wasn’t answering calls or texts.”

  “That’s odd of him, they’re usually connected at the hip.”

  “I hope it’s not trouble in paradise,” Emma added.

  “I’m surprised she doesn’t have location services activated,” I said, thinking I was quieter than I was.

  “Do people do that?” Charlotte asked, pointing to Nick arriving back at the table looking somber.

  “Everything okay?” I asked before I could stop myself. Idiot.

  He gave a weak smile and a nod. “So, you’ve got some news?”