by Lizzie Vega
Kelli glared at her, “Mik, chill out. That’s not exactly what he needs to hear right now. I can only imagine the pressure he’s feeling. All I’ve heard this week is people talking about it.”
Mikayla rolled her eyes, “That’s only gonna make it worse. If a bunch of people show up…shit.”
“Jeez, Miss Louise, it’s not like you’re playing. It’s gonna be okay. He’s so different than in the beginning. He’s working things out.”
Mikayla nodded, “Yeah, he’s different. That’s for sure.” Her voice faded off and she looked away from her friend, “Sorry. It’s not about me.”
Kelli took a step to the side, “I’m gonna head into the auditorium and check out the lights and the curtains like we all talked about. Come in, ah, when you feel so inclined.” The sarcasm was unmistakable.
“I’m scared, Kelli,” she gasped out, “It’s that simple. I’m just scared. Okay?” Her voice was trembling, “There’s so much riding on this for him and...and if he falls apart.” Mikayla looked over Kelli’s shoulder, her jaw dropping, “Oh God, they can’t all be coming to this.”
“Huh?” Kelli turned around to see two thirds of their Music Theory class coming up the sidewalk. Behind them and as they looked across the courtyard, music students from all the classes streamed along the walkways, all making their way to the auditorium. Soon Kelli recognized several faculty members including those that would critique Ethan’s performance.
“Crap, you might have a point,” she said as she watched Amanda and Ashley came from the parking lot, “And they’re here early, what the hell.”
“Just makes it worse,” Mikayla sighed.
Kelli turned back to her, “Watch for Alvin and Edward. I’m gonna go in and decompress. I’m sorry I barked at you. I’m scared too.”
Mikayla stood out front and watched the sudden throng of spectators grow. There were so many familiar faces including the majority of their Music Theory class. Mia's happy face faded when she saw the look on Mikayla’s face, “Is everything okay?” she asked, “Everyone in the department has been talking about this.”
Mikayla mustered a weak smile, “Thanks for supporting him, although the more peop…” she stopped, “It’s great you could come. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.” Just then she heard a quick whistle as Ethan waved from a side door. He glanced at the crowd then looked back at Mikayla with a half-smile beckoning her over. She saw a flash of bright red behind him. Sara was there too. Trying to remain calm, she made her way inside and down to the hallway to them.
While Ethan was subdued, his eyes darting everywhere, Sara was radiant. “I gotta stay out of sight until the last two songs,” she said happily, “He’s gonna be amazing.” Ethan shrugged with a sad smile.
Mikayla looked at Sara, a sparkle of silver at her throat, “You look beautiful.”
Sara looked at Ethan then to Mikayla, “Thank you.” She tugged playfully at her long hair, drawn to one side, with a wisp of curl at her temple. She pointed to Mikayla’s hair, done up in the same fashion, “I had the best styling team. Thank you so much for all of this.”
“Kelli’s around somewhere,” Mikayla offered, “She had quite a hand in this too.”
“I hate to interrupt,” Ethan broke in quietly, “But we should warm up a bit.” He reached out his hand to Mikayla. As she took his hand, a tear ran down her cheek. Sara took a step back.
“I couldn’t have done this without you, ya know.” He said clasping his hand around Mikayla's. She looked down at them putting her other hand over the top of his. She gently grasped Sara’s hand, “You too,” she smiled through her tears, “His hands are cold, gotta warm em up, right?”
Sara stepped in to recreate their first meeting. As Mikayla realized it, she began to sniffle, “Sorry, looks like I’m gathering up all the stage fright for you.”
Ethan smiled and his nerves peeked out, “Not quite all of it.”
Sara touched him gently on the shoulder, “Can we have a minute? You head downstairs and get started. I’ll just be a minute.”
Mikayla took a guess at the time, “It’ll all be over in an hour, we’ll all go for a beer.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” He stopped and looked at Sara. Mikayla watched as they looked into each other’s eyes, then she looked away.
She turned back to see Ethan ambling his tall lanky frame down the darkened hallway. “Is he going to be okay?” she croaked, digging for a tissue from her bag. Sara took it from her hand and began to dab at Mikayla’s eyes, “No more tears, okay. He’s nervous but he can get through it. It’s just an hour. I know you’re scared.” She put her arms around Mikayla, “Please know how much you’ve helped him. I know what his career will be like. He’s amazing.”
All Mikayla could do was nod. Any attempt to speak and she would break down. Stepping back, Sara reached out and gently stroked the side of Mikayla’s cheek, “You’ve worked so hard.”
At Sara’s soft touch, Mikayla gasped. “The day I ran out of the theatre…that was you?”
Smiling, Sara took Mikayla’s left hand, comparing her practice weary fingertips to her own, then just held her hand for a moment. “You have stronger fingers than I do. I’m proud of you. See ya backstage.”
She turned and began to walk slowly down the long hallway. Sara’s relaxed pace surprised Mikayla and she found her smile, “Hey, couldn’t you just?” She put her fingers into the air and Sara laughed, “Nah, I love this place. I’m gonna take my time.” A few steps later she stopped again, “Yeah, maybe I should hurry along.” Her eyes sparkled as she grinned, “Wish me luck?” And, with that, she faded from the hallway.
Making her way quietly backstage, Mikayla found Kelli twitching in the wings backstage, “I talked to them. He’s pretty nervous. Sara looks…”
“Angelic?” Kelli joked, “yeah, I saw her too. She’s all huggy and lovey-dovey today. Ethan is the one who’s pale as a ghost. Sorry if I was mean to you. I know it’s a lot to worry about.”
Mikayla sighed, “What in the world do we do this for? We play our little songs and the weight of the world is on our shoulders. Pretty much nuts, right?”
Kelli grinned “Completely. Ethan can be a real star if he wants to. He has the coolest friends for sure.”
“Yeah,” Mikayla absently agreed, taking a step back toward the hallway door, “I forgot Mia at the front door. She wanted to sit up close. I’ll be back before he takes the stage.”
Kelli got wide-eyed. For the first time that afternoon, her nerves began to show, “Don’t get lost. Have you seen all the people here? Find her a seat and tell her to come backstage when it’s done…hopefully.” Mikayla didn’t stop to listen as the door closed behind her.
Leaving the stage door, Mikayla stood alone in the hallway, her heart pounding in her chest. I know better, she thought, putting her hand to her temple, I can get through this, he’s stronger than I am…She looked down the long hall to the entrance foyer, took one deep breath and went the other direction.
Chapter 47
Fifteen minutes later, Mikayla opened the stage door and joined Kelli behind the curtains, “I was getting worried,” Kelli chided her, “Have you seen the guys, they should be here.”
Mikayla shook her head, “Not a word.” She winced a little and Kelli caught it, “You are a bundle of nerves, aren’t you? Does your head hurt?”
“It’ll be over in, well less than an hour now. I’m fine. Maybe the guys are just looking for a place to park.”
Kelli leaned out to check the audience, she came back, her eyes wide. “Mik, Look.”
When Mikayla walked back from the edge of the curtain, she was shaking, “Christ, it’s almost full. This could be a...”
“Stop it,” Kelli’s anger flared suddenly, “It’s gonna be fine. They’re gonna blow the place away. You know that.”
“A big deal for him,” Mikayla said in a bad stage whisper, “that’s what I was saying.”
Just then, the chairman of the Music Department walked on f
rom the opposite side of the stage. Walking past the piano, he stopped center stage, looking out over the audience, “For as long as we’ve done juried recitals here, I can honestly say, I’ve never seen one so, um well attended.”
A brief and respectful amount of applause rippled through the auditorium. Mikayla saw Ethan appear at the opposite stage door, music in his hand. She waved but he didn’t respond until she saw Sara speak to him. His eyes were staring out into the crowd.
The chairman continued, “Just a side note, Ethan has been quite secretive about his selections tonight as well as the performance. He would only guarantee that they will comply within the necessary jury requirements.” He looked out over the crowd. “I somehow feel that you guys know way more about this than I do. So,” he said, gesturing stage right, “Ladies and gentlemen, for your enjoyment, Ethan Carson.”
Mikayla and Kelli watched from across the stage as Sara took Ethan’s hand and kissed it. He took his first steps out onto the stage to warm applause. While not technically considered a formal performance, his black pants and black turtleneck gave him the air of a seasoned, if eccentric young artist.
Rounding the piano, he looked off stage to Kelli and Mikayla. His expression was sober as he turned to sit on the bench.
Kelli looked at Mikayla, “I don’t like the looks of that. He looks drained.” Mikayla nervously pointed across to Sara, “Watch her, maybe she’ll perk him up.”
True enough, as Ethan sat down and arranged his music on the piano stand, Sara cleared her throat to get his attention, pushing her fingers up in her face to make a huge goofy smile. They saw Ethan nod his head, his hair bouncing in his face. To their delight, he turned around and threw them a quick grin before returning to his music.
“There we go,” Kelli whispered to herself.
Placing his music, just so, he played several chords then stopped until the grand piano’s soundboard was silent. He looked out into the audience, then quickly back to Sara and played three soft and very familiar chords. Mikayla instantly recognized them as she saw Sara’s face blossom into a gorgeous smile.
He turned around and looked at Kelli and Mikayla, then he tapped his finger repeatedly on a single key. Mikayla put her hand to her mouth as he looked at her. “Are we good?” he asked. She hesitated, trying to clear her throat. She knew exactly what he was asking. Though his eyes seemed glassier than usual, the sleek black piano was in perfect tune.
“Perfect” she said brightly, trying to muster as much confidence for him as possible. Mikayla saw him smile as he turned around. Several audience members chuckled as they recalled the weekly tuning the Union baby grand.
Ethan looked up and caught Sara’s eye. His hands rose to the keyboard, concert ready. Mikayla saw his shoulders rise with a deep breath. It had all come down to this moment.
As his fingers came down for the first chord, Kelli jumped. Startled at the power of the music, she sighed heavily as if the recital had just ended on the same notes.
Mikayla’s heart began to pound in her chest. He had tears in his eyes, why would he be sad? This isn’t right. Something’s not right. But his music continued. The sounds flowed seamlessly through the first section, his left hand catching the dog-eared page to begin the next passage. Clean and strong, each note played to perfection. Only then did Mikayla begin to relax. She watched Sara behind the curtain on the other side, swaying to the music, violin and bow in her hands, blissfully enjoying his first required selection. For a moment, it was perfect.
Then Mikayla caught a subtle change in the music. It was something she had discussed with Ethan. While never breaking his tempo, he let the strings ring out as a usually intricate passage arrived. Originally sounding stiff and robotic, the slight adjustment gave a broader range of emotion to the measures. She smiled. While not technically correct, it sounded beautiful. She looked and saw Sara looking back at her, beaming.
A vibrating text interrupted Kelli’s slowly calming thoughts. She looked down at her phone to read it and gasped, pulling Mikayla far back from the stage, “It’s Alvin. Squad cars just arrived at the Union. There’s a construction truck and a bunch of workers, Oh God Mikayla, he says they’re headed to the Annex…I didn’t…we didn’t.”
Mikayla looked out onto the stage as Ethan’s Mozart influenced selection continued smoothly. She could see Sara standing in the wings across from him, ready to play the next piece with him. “Text him right back,” she demanded, quickly realizing the implications, “How did they find out? When?” Tears ran down her cheeks, “This will ruin everything…this is going to destroy him.”
Half a minute later, Kelli’s phone vibrated. She looked down at the phone and answered.
Alvin’s voice sounded somber. He was fully aware of what was happening. “Kel, get ready. It’s bad. There’s a jackhammer and the coroner’s office van just pulled up. They know where Sara’s body is.”
“How is that possible?” Kelli hissed, “We all promised to keep it secret. This is awful.” She looked up at Mikayla, “He’s gonna lose her.” She paused for a moment, then sobbed, “Then we could….lose…oh, he’s worked so hard…Alvin, what are we gonna do?”
Kelli listened for a moment, her face went pale, “Are you sure? Why would he do that?” She looked at Mikayla, then out across the stage to Sara. Standing opposite Ethan, behind the curtain, she held her violin ready to join him onstage for the next piece. She looked serene as she bobbed her head to the rhythm of Ethan’s spirited playing.
“Mik,” she whispered, motioning for her to come closer. Together they rushed back into the auditorium hallway.
“Alvin called. Now there’s a police team, opening up the crawlspace in the Annex addition. They were told that Sara’s body might be in there.”
“Told?” Mikala’s eye went wide, “Told by who?”
Kelli tried to recover long enough to speak but as she broke down again all she could do was point toward the stage, her hand shaking, “It was Ethan. He told the school administrators.”
“Why would he do such a thing?”
Kelli nodded, “She’s the best thing that’s ev…” Kelli froze. “No,” she continued, “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, Mik, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.” She reached out her hand to touch Mikayla’s shoulder, but she recoiled from the touch. Mikayla was just staring at the stage door, “He’ll be alone again. Like always.”
Mikayla took a step back, “I can’t,” she stuttered, “I can’t watch this happen.” With another step, she backed away from Kelli, shaking her head, tears flowing freely. “We should have known. I should have known it would be too hard for him.”
“Don’t you dare,” Kelli almost shouted at Mikayla as she continued to back toward the exit, “Don’t you dare leave him. He needs you.”
“Sara brought him out his shell,” Mikayla said sadly, “He loves her so much. I can’t ever change that.”
Kelli anger spilled over, “God dammit, Mikayla, the minute they unseal that void, she’s gone. He’s gonna be out on that damn stage all by himself. It’ll shatter him. Get back in there. Let’s get ready for this. Don’t run from this.”
“She loves him so much. From the second I met her, I could see it in her eyes,” Mikayla said in a whisper, “I could never compete with that.”
“That’s not fair,” Kelli shot back, “Don’t you say that. From the second you showed up at this school, we’ve all loved you. Alvin and Edward and…” she sniffled, wiping her eyes, “and me. Ethan knows how you feel cuz it was super obvious from day one.”
“I’m…I’m scared, Kel.” Mikayla said as she pulled away from Kelli.
“Please don’t, Mik. You’re making a mistake. You’ll regret it for the rest of your days.” Her head turned toward the stage door, “And maybe a few more after that. You don’t abandon the people you care for. You stand beside them.”
Kelli took a step toward the door, “I’m gonna go do something, pull down the stage curtain if I have to. This is so gonna
suck.” As Kelli put her hand on the door pull, she looked back at Mikayla, “We may only have a few minutes.”
“I’m sorry,” was the tearful response as Mikayla turned and sprinted down the darkened hallway.
Kelli angrily dialed Alvin, “Do something to stall them. We need 15 minutes. Then you guys get over here. I can’t do this all by myself. Stage entrance.” She took several deep breaths and stepped back into the backstage area. She could hear the final passage of Ethan’s extended first selection rapidly coming to a close.
Walking quietly to the edge of the curtain, she saw Sara standing in the darkness on the opposite side of the stage. Her eyes closed, she gently rolled her shoulders and tilted her head back and forth to get ready for the duet to come.
Sara looked so calm, almost blissful as she caught Kelli’s eye and winked at her. At that moment, the lights seemed to dim for a second. Kelli heard a quick hiss in her ears, then it vanished. Panicked, she looked back across the stage just as Ethan began to play a final dramatic run up the grand piano’s keyboard. Sara stood in the wings, her beautiful smile glowing at Ethan.
As his hands came up from the sparkling keys, the final notes rang out into the auditorium. For a moment, it was quiet. Then the packed house erupted into applause.
Ethan grinned sheepishly, then looked out into the crowd. While not a true concert performance, the lights in the house were bright enough to allow note taking by the academic jury and for most of the spectators to be easily seen. He looked around for a moment with his nervous smile, then looked back at Sara as he gathered the sheet music from the previous selection and put it on the bench next to him. The was a murmur in the crowd as the students realized the next composition would either be completely from memory, or complete improvisation.
Kelli heard the nervousness among the students and remembered something Mikayla had said about Ethan’s early performances. Technical perfection and painfully lacking in emotion, she’d said. Kelli’s heart sank as she quickly texted Edward and Alvin, more time…get more time.