“How would Patrick feel about you speaking to Ted?” she asked, one pale eyebrow arched at him.
“He would expect me to call Ted. We’re family, and we’ve always been close. He would be pissed at Ted for sharing information since I’m not a pack-mate anymore, so I wouldn’t expect Ted to talk about anything important.” He sighed. He would miss Ted the most of his former pack, but what was done was done, and they were still family. He’d still be able to commune with them when he visited. He believed that, even though he was severed, he could still trust all three of his brothers.
“At least you have that.” Bianca smiled at him, speaking to his thought more than his words as she took his hand. “Now, I want to hear about those plans you spoke of earlier.”
“Hmmm. That’s a conversation that should happen in private.” He winked at her.
“Then let’s go somewhere private, Jack.” Her smile was full of promise.
Damn, I’m a lucky dog. Jack grinned as he stood up and followed her back to her—no, their—little room.
That night, an old nightmare came to haunt Jack:
He was on an island, soaking wet and mosquito bitten. He was huddled into a tent with another man—a human—and they were trying to sleep. The moon was nearly full; he had only a day or two before he would shift. He knew it was coming, could feel it, his wolf growing restless within. He needed sleep more than ever, but his bunkmate was sick. He’d been having diarrhea for days, had a fever, and was covered in sweat even though it was cold at night. Jack hugged his knees to his chest, watching the other man shake with fever. He drifted to sleep and woke up clinging to a corpse.
“Jack? Jack! Wake up!” Bianca’s voice roused him from the grasp of the dream, and he felt her warmth creeping into his skin.
“Bee?” He cupped her face with his palm. “Oh, thank goddess.” He sighed heavily and sat up.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.
“About what?” His face was wooden, hard and unemotional, but he knew she could feel his upheaval through the bond.
“About whatever makes you cry out in your sleep. About whatever is making you try to hide your pain from your mate. Which you can’t do, by the way. We’re connected much deeper than that.”
Jack sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face.
“War,” he answered finally. “Sometimes, when I’m asleep, I remember the war. I was a lieutenant in the Navy, but out there, the mosquitoes didn’t care. They bit us all with equal enthusiasm, officers and enlisted men alike. And the mosquitoes were gentle compared to the diseases. The first time I saw a dead body, it was my bunkmate. He’d been sick—a fever. I woke up, and he was gone.” Jack’s eyes closed. “And that was before I started leading men into enemy fire. I knew I’d heal, the Japanese weren’t firing on us with silver bullets after all, but those boys—they were just boys, my marines—they wouldn’t. They thought I was some kind of miraculously lucky bastard, but in the end, I was the one who had to watch my men die. I would have rather died myself.” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I served my country, Bianca, and it was horrible.”
Bianca clung to Jack as he started to shake in her arms. She murmured soothing whispers against his ears, stroking his hair with her hands. When the first sob racked his sturdy frame, she tightened her hold on him. As wave after wave of grief washed through him, she rocked him in her arms, sending her love and peace through the bond until his sobs quieted. She gently eased his head down to the bed, stroking his face. She snuggled into the vee of his shoulder and held him until they both drifted off to sleep.
When Jack awoke from that thankfully dreamless sleep, he felt Bianca’s hand pressed to his chest. He picked it up in his own hand, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. He thought of the way she’d cradled him in her arms as he’d sobbed the night before, and he felt a pang of sadness at what mating him would bring her. His nightmares would haunt her now, too; through their bond, she’d feel the terror and the grief and the rage of war.
“It’s okay, Jack.” Her voice was husky with sleep. “We all have nightmares.”
“Mine isn’t one I’d wish on anyone.” He sighed.
“It’s not so horrible, the feeling I get from you when you’re dreaming. It’s muffled. It’s okay, really. I’m not experiencing it firsthand the way you did.”
“Well, that’s a relief.” At least he could spare her that. “Thank you for waking me up last night. And for…well, for being there.”
“You’re welcome.” She pressed a kiss to his chest before meeting his eyes. “I’m here because this is where I belong. With you.”
He smiled at her as he vowed to himself to lock the nightmares away as much as possible. He felt a confused tenderness from her and realized it mirrored something growing in him. He hesitated, in the aftermath of his severance, to name the attachment, but he could be patient. He’d know soon enough, wouldn’t he?
Chapter Nine
THE WEEK AND A HALF between the claiming and the full moon seemed to pass in a blur. Jack spent the time he wasn’t making love to his mate poring over pack records, meeting Bianca’s staff, who would also be his staff, and getting to know his new Alpha. He had a tremendous amount of respect for Monica—could feel her power emanate from her in waves. His wolf recognized her as a very strong Alpha, and he began to understand how her strength lay in being unorthodox. She’d told him enough of her story for him to understand that she’d grown up in a time before feminism was even a spark, yet in the very male-centric wolf culture, she’d nurtured the idea until it became a pack, then cultivated strength, encouraged growth, until a small group of feminists became the most powerful pack on the continent, all right under the noses of the rest of the wolves.
“Monica, what will happen when the first change occurs? How will the pack grow without new ghost wolves?” he asked, looking over some of the documents in his hands—birth and death records.
“Much as other packs do, I suppose. How much did Sara tell you anything about how our ratification will change things for the other packs?”
“I saw glimpses from her. Unification. Is that really going to happen?”
“It’s why I’m here. It’s my purpose in life.” Monica smiled at him. “I will be the mate of the second Usher.”
“How do you know?” Jack asked. “Do you know who he is?” He found himself curious—Monica had mated before, would mate again.
“I know of him. I know he is younger than I am, but that won’t matter. I know that he’s a very strong alpha wolf, but I don’t know which pack he calls home, or what his position is within his pack, whether he’s an Alpha or holds some other position of power. I haven’t met him. Sara told me his Guide will bring him to me when it’s time.”
“You all put a lot of faith in Sara’s glimpses to the future.”
“She’s sacrificing herself for us, Jack. She’s earned our faith.” Monica smiled. “You trust her, too, don’t you?”
“With my life,” he admitted. “I felt her in my head; I’ve seen her thoughts. I know who she is. A month ago, I would have scoffed at the very idea of any of this, but now I accept it.”
“Good.” Monica’s smile broadened. “I’m glad Jack. You’re a revelation, you know that? An alpha male with an open mind. It’s encouraging—refreshing, even. I’m looking forward to touching that mind of yours when you become pack tomorrow night.”
“Well, this sounds pervy.” Bianca strode into the room, winking at her Alpha.
“Bee, join us.” Monica smiled, gesturing to the table where she and Jack were working. “Your mate has been going over population records with me. And only from you will I allow the word ‘pervy’ uttered in reference to me, and only because I am feeling very indulgent in light of your recent mating.”
“I was actually hoping I could steal him away. Mama is here, and I would love for him to meet her.” Bianca’s face glowed. She was so excited about introducing her mate to her mother, she beamed like a frisky pup.
Jack raised an eyebrow at Monica, who made a shooing gesture.
“Go, both of you. Jack, there’s not much more to go over. You’re pretty up to speed now on the pack dynamic. Of course, after tomorrow night, you’ll feel it as much as know it. I’m looking forward to you joining with us. You’re a good wolf.”
“Thank you, Alpha.” He smiled, ducking his head like a little boy. “Now, time to meet the mother-in-law.” He stood and took Bianca’s hand, waved a farewell to Monica, and stepped out into the hallway with Bianca.
“Jack, this is wonderful. I’m so glad Monica likes you so much. She’s a wonderful leader. You can tell, can’t you? She’s been preparing for this for over a century now, and it’s all starting to come together.”
He could feel Bianca’s deep satisfaction in touching him, in laying her head on his shoulder. Under it, he could feel the resentment still seething. Even as he craved her touch, he felt a petulance from her, a snagging little thorn.
“She’s amazing. She tells me she’s to mate with the second Usher.”
“That’s what Sara told me. Her sister Guides the second Usher.”
“What form does her sister take? Is she a raven, too?”
“I don’t think so, but I’ve never seen her shift. She lives in California; I haven’t seen her in maybe twenty years. She used to visit Sara from time to time, but I guess she’s busy grooming a national Alpha now.”
“Wow. Big task.”
“I know, right?” She sighed. “Mama has a room in the dormitories she uses when she’s here. We’ll meet her there.”
“What does your mother do?” he asked curiously.
“She’s a nurse midwife in Boston. She only comes to the compound at the full moon. Even though she’s officially part of Amazon Pack, she lives as an outlier.”
“Is she mated?”
“Um, no.” Bianca gave him a strange look and then continued. “She was, to my father. When Sara came to them and told them the baby she was carrying was an albino, specifically the Albina, he freaked. When she left, he severed their mate bond, rather than follow her.”
“What the hell? I didn’t know that could even be done!” Jack swore. His own severance from his pack was painful; severance from a mate was lethal. The wolf in him understood this, but his brain shuddered at the idea.
“It can’t, Jack. He killed himself, fully intending to take her wolf with him.”
Her matter of fact statement stopped him dead in his tracks. He turned to her.
“Oh Bianca…” His horrified expression must have shown on his face—she reached for him, enfolded him in her arms.
“It’s okay Jack. I never knew him. I don’t mourn for a wolf who would have rather died than have me for a daughter.” Her stern words comforted him as much as they enraged him.
“Your mother survived how?” he asked, holding her close as they got onto the elevator in the dormitory.
“By her maternal-fetal bond with me. Pretty wacky wolfy medicine, huh?” She smiled at him. “It’s not every day that a fetus saves its mama’s life.”
“Wow. I can’t wait to meet her,” Jack said.
“Well, you’re about to.” She held tight to his hand as they stepped off the elevator.
They knocked on a door like all the others, and it opened to reveal a stunning wolf who looked to be about thirty-five human years old, but was probably at least triple that. She had long dark hair and brown eyes, a kind smile, and a nurturing air. In spite of drastically-different coloring, she looked enough like Bianca to take his breath away. He smiled as she bowed her head slightly to them and then offered obeisance, recognizing their rank.
“Mama!” Bianca hugged her tight.
The older wolf held her daughter tightly.
“Oh, Bee, you look wonderful, so happy. Is this Jack?”
“Yes, Mama, this is my mate, Jack. Jack, this is my mother, Ellie Stone.”
“It’s an honor to meet you, ma’am,” he said, leaning in to brush her cheek with his own.
She grinned at him. “Jack, you make my baby Bee happy. I’m so glad to know you. You have to call me Ellie, though. Won’t you two come in?” She stepped aside, leading them into her small room.
Sara sat on a chair by the window.
“Hi, lovely. Hi, Jack. I was just chatting with Ellie.” Sara reached out her hands to them, and they went to her as one, enfolding her in an embrace.
“Oh, you two are so sweet together. I knew you would be.” Sara’s touch in their minds felt cool and sharp, so different from a wolf. The avian feel of it was foreign and a little uncomfortable for Jack.
“Sara, we’ve missed you.” Bianca’s wolf forced a whine from her lips, and they all laughed.
“Oh, my greedy lovely. I’m here for Jack’s joining to Amazon Pack. I can stay a few days. Jack, I brought your things from the inn and put them in lovely’s room.”
“Thanks Sara.” He smiled to her, speaking aloud so that they’d all move to include Ellie in the conversation.
“Oh, it’s fine, Jack. I raised Bee with Sara around. I know how those two are. You’re included in their link, though; that’s something I never felt. What are birds like?” Ellie teased with a wink at Sara.
“Colder, sharper than wolves, and more visual,” he replied.
Ellie nodded. “Yes, we depend upon our hearing and our sense of smell more than they do. Our vision is pretty good, but Sara’s is incredible. She can tell which wolf is which from hundreds of feet up.”
“Interesting, Bianca has never told me I feel cold.” Sara turned to look at Bianca, who shrugged.
“No, cold isn’t it exactly, but you’ve been sharing thoughts with me most of my life, so it’s not unfamiliar the way it is for Jack.”
“I hope I didn’t offend you,” Jack said, turning his head and exposing his neck in apology.
“Nope, no worries about that.” Sara hugged him. “And don’t show your neck to me in front of Pack. I’m a bird, Jack.”
“Sorry, it’s habit for me to apologize with my whole body.” He was thankful this breach of etiquette had occurred in semi-private.
“Well, your apology is accepted, if unnecessary.”
He watched as Sara idly picked up Bianca’s hand and stroked it softly with her own. Bianca’s eyes closed in pleasure at being reunited with her Guide. He could sense through the bond the closeness she felt to Sara, the pleasure in their reunion. He realized that Sara had kept her distance over the last week to give them time to reinforce their mate bond. He ached for her.
“Sara, you don’t have to stay away from us.”
“Yes, I did, for me as much as for her, but you’re right, I don’t have to anymore. You and Bianca are very firmly bonded now.” She smiled at Bianca, whose eyes were filling again. “No, lovely, no crying for me.”
She continued to stroke Bianca’s hand. Jack leaned in and added his own caresses to comfort both of them. He felt a little rush of electricity pulse through him at his mate’s touch and an echo of it in Sara’s. His wolf rolled at their link, and he felt Bianca sigh.
“You’re so lovely,” he whispered hoarsely, suddenly wanting to touch her everywhere. He felt a flicker of something from Sara that echoed his thoughts.
“Oh dear.” Ellie smirked. “Newly-mated and crazy-horny. You two should get out of here. Jack, it was nice to meet you, but I don’t need to see this. Why don’t you and Bianca go; we’ll meet you for dinner later.”
He nodded, drawing Bianca out of the room. He turned and gave Sara a questioning look, and she followed them from the room.
“I’m sorry, Jack, I shouldn’t have intruded like that.” Sara began speaking the moment the door closed behind them. “It was the word ‘lovely.’ It’s been my nickname for Bianca for years. I just—”
“Sara.” He stopped her. “It’s okay. My mate is a desirable woman, I understand.” He saw Sara blush, and then he looked at Bianca, who was blushing just as furiously. “Look. We can let this be awkward between us
, or we can accept that the two of you had a sexual relationship that is a part of your past together and that sometimes, those feelings and desires are going to spark up, and we’ll all feel it through the connection, and it’s only natural and not something to be embarrassed about.”
“Jack, you are a very surprising wolf.” Sara smiled at him, her dimple warming her face. “Most wolves would be ready to tear my throat out for having a lustful thought about their mate.”
“I think if you were wolf, or you were male, it would be different,” he mused. “As it is, you’re very much a part of Bianca and, somehow, a part of our mate bond.”
“Hello, right here, you two,” Bianca growled playfully. “Sara, I think what my mate is saying is that jealousy would be futile, and he doesn’t see you as a threat.”
“Yeah. Something very much like that.” He leaned in and kissed his mate behind her ear, feeling her shudder and the desire sparking in her at his touch. His own desire spiked as he caught her around the waist with one arm, spurring his need to tamp down her resentment of their mating. She may think him a distraction, so be it; he’d show her just exactly how distracting he could be.
“Go.” Sara pushed them toward the elevators with a wink and a flash of her dimple before disappearing back into Ellie’s room.
“I need you,” Jack whispered as they raced toward the elevators.
“I know.” Bianca smiled, a naughty quirk to her lips.
They laughed together as he crowded her against the back wall of the elevator, driving his hips into hers and burying his hands in her hair. He nipped at her ear, feeling an answering twinge of desire through their mate bond.
“I love this. I love feeling your need through our bond.”
He groaned as Bianca’s hand buried itself in his hair, and she tugged his lips to hers. With a ding, the elevator door opened, and a pair of older females stepped inside. Jack cleared his throat and turned them both around, holding Bianca in front of him to conceal his growing arousal.
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