Crushed

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Crushed Page 5

by Pamela Ann


  For some time, we sat side by side, speaking nothing and thinking of everything.

  “Are we going to exchange numbers or what? I can take you around, maybe even take you out on a date if you behave tonight.”

  “Well, lucky me. I better behave, then,” I exclaimed with pleasure. He was getting cocky. It was too amusing to resist laughing.

  “I like you,” he said honestly as he faced me. “I have this feeling you and I might be a good thing.”

  Taking a moment to consider him, I was on the fence about everything. Mainly because … Well, I just wasn’t into anyone other than Brody.

  “You’re not so bad yourself. We shall see.”

  He stayed quiet for a bit before pressing on the subject he had brought up before. “So, have you decided to give me your number yet?”

  I found Rob’s persistence cute in a weird way. “I might if you promise not to be a stalker.”

  “Damn, you’re harsh but fucking sexy as hell, and it’s hard to resist you.”

  We both laughed at that. Then it went from laughter to kissing rather too suddenly. In the blink of an eye, his lips were on mine and too eager for my liking.

  Okay, I shouldn’t panic. It was normal. There was also the fact that, since Rob wasn’t aware I was in high school still, a minor at that, I didn’t want to alarm him by acting like I wasn’t okay with him attacking my lips. I mean, I wasn’t at first, but the more he did it, the more I found myself starting to like it. I could feel the warmth of his body as he deepened the kiss. It was as if he wanted to take charge, sort of leaning us over so we were lying down while making out. I wasn’t ready for that, though. Kissing was one thing, but kissing like that … Well, that could lead to sex, and since little ole me was still a virgin, I sure as hell didn’t plan to lose it in the back of an SUV with some random guy I had met at Brody’s party. That would be a disaster. Though I doubted my friends would think of it that way. My first time should mean something, though, and this wasn’t what I was looking for. Therefore, when his hand started to roam freely, I knew I had to put a kibosh on his plans.

  “Listen, I have to go,” I swiftly said after I yanked my lips from his. “I’m going back inside to get my things and leave. Call me sometime. I might just be up for a date night.”

  Before Rob had the chance to say another word, I hopped off the truck and immediately began to run towards Brody’s house. Going home wasn’t part of the plan, but I was actually considering getting a room somewhere around the beach. I thought I’d had my fair share of fun for tonight with partying.

  “Amber?”

  I heard my name the moment I stepped into the front door. Scouting the area, I found Brody leaning against the wall like he had been waiting for me the whole time.

  “Umm, yes?” My retort sounded as dumb as they went, but I was too speechless to really function. Besides, I was a little drunk and a little high. Also, given that this guy intimated the bejesus out of me, I didn’t want him to know what I had been up to.

  He was frowning as he closed in on me. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” he asked accusingly.

  Busted.

  Chapter Six

  “What do you mean by that? Don’t I look okay to you?” I tried to smile, but his flashing eyes made it die on the way to forming.

  “Go to my bedroom. Now. I’ll meet you in five minutes.” He was gritting the words out, never a good sign.

  “Why will it take you five minutes to get there?” I petulantly asked, and he released an irritated sigh.

  “Because I need some time before I choke the precious life out of you since you’re doing a fine job of that yourself … so I propose a better solution.”

  Was that a joke, or was that a joke?

  “Are you being serious right now?”

  “My room. Right. The fuck. Now. Amber!”

  Asshole!

  Holding up my hands in surrender, I glared at him. “Okay, I’m going there now. Fuck.”

  Not daring to glance at him before I sprinted away, I made my way towards the stairs to the second floor where his bedroom was located in the left wing. There was yellow tape sectioning it off from the party, like the kind around a crime scene. Funny how thinking that made me remember Brody’s mild threat about wanting to choke me since I was already pushing myself in that direction. I mean, I got that he was angry with me, but seriously? He wasn’t my brother, nor was he my boyfriend. He was a concerned friend, and he didn’t have to be mean about it, either.

  Finding his room without any hardship, I went inside, feeling somewhat aggravated because of how Brody had treated me downstairs. It didn’t matter that we had been surrounded by random partygoers; it had still been humiliating to be treated in such a manner. I doubted he had the guts to give the same treatment to Lindsey. She would have most likely chewed him up and spit him out in a heartbeat. I supposed maybe that was why there was such a vast difference between how he treated us.

  She was daring, unapologetic, and downright vicious. No one—not one person I knew—would want to be on her bad side. She was as crazy as she was beautiful. Maybe that was why Brody didn’t want to cross the line with her—he would only get one chance, and if he failed that, he would most likely lose her forever. Some men might not have the courage to take the bait and jump in for a chance. After all, sometimes it was best to leave it hanging and wonder about what could have been. Brody might not readily admit to it, but I felt like that could be one of the reasons he was holding back. When it came to me, on the other hand, it looked as if he had plenty of opinions. It just went to show how he saw me and how different I was from Lindsey. It was depressing, I admitted. However, at the same time, it was revealing. Holding on to my love for him would only bring me increasing levels of unhappiness.

  Standing in the middle of his room that had one lamp on the side of his bed, the nautical-themed ambiance did little to comfort me. It wasn’t the first time I had been in there. In fact, I had been there mostly every time there was a get-together in his house, always surrounded by friends. That day would be the first one-on-one with him without any distractions.

  If I was in my regular state of mind, I would probably start sweating and maybe even freak out over the possibilities of being alone with him in his bedroom. Of course, since I was mighty high and had a serious dose of cynic in me, the thought did little to give me a thrill. In fact, if he came up there to verbally attack me, I would bite right back.

  Perhaps I had gone mad. Then again, maybe I was simply sick of it all, most especially with the men in my life in general.

  Deciding to wait on him in the very same spot in the middle of his room, I folded my arms as I stared at the door, impatiently awaiting his arrival.

  True to his word, he didn’t keep me waiting for long. Just before I was about to sigh, the door swiftly opened, and in came Mister Broody Man.

  Upon seeing me standing in the midst of the room, he barely blinked at me as he leaned against the door, blocking it as if I was going to escape or something, before he directed me another one of those cold glares that had been rather abundant downstairs.

  “What?” I snapped at him. “You have nothing to say after the shit you just did downstairs? They might not know me, but what you did was still fucking embarrassing! Who the fuck cares what I do? I mean, fuck, you don’t see me lecturing you about STDs and shit when you sleep around with random women. What I do or don’t do really is none of your damn business!”

  From my standpoint, I could see his thunderous face, but I was shocked he wasn’t saying a damn thing. Maybe it was his tactic to let me go wacky. Well, it had worked.

  “I snorted for the first time, and that shit was amazeballs,” I smugly declared as I stood my ground. “It’s my life—my body—so if you have nothing better to say, I’d rather be around people who would be less judgmental about my actions.”

  He snapped.

  “Judgmental? Me?” he barked out a dark laugh before shaking his head at me, gradually pacin
g towards me. “What the fuck, Amber! Why do you have to be so fucking rebellious all the goddamn time! If it’s not drinking, you get into deeper shit! Is this the kind of life you want to lead? Heck, if you want to be a reckless crackhead, then fucking say it instead of skirting around shit that doesn’t really matter.”

  Aw. Hell. To. The. Mother. Fucking. No.

  My proverbial gloves were off. Claws out.

  “What the fuck do you care, huh? Look at you! You have a solid family; you’re a soccer stud; you hop on and off different beds; and no one seems to care. You’re fucking hot, smart, funny, and annoyingly stupid and stubborn at the same time. You have everything—every damn thing that’s not going on in mine—so don’t give me this bullshit! You have the perfect life, all except for you holding onto a torch for Lindsey. Apart from that, your life pretty much is perfectly sickening to think about. So, no, you don’t get to fucking watch and judge me because I don’t act the way I should be acting to please you. I’m done with you! I’m done pleasing anyone. From now on, I’m going to do me and do what makes me comfortable and happy. So, fuck off!”

  “I give a damn because I care about you.” His nose flared as he peered down at me like some hot beast ready to blow his gasket. “I care enough to want you to be better than this. I care enough to not want to see you in the hospital, hurt, or fighting for your damn life. I. Fucking. Care.”

  He didn’t even address my insults, and the rawness of his words and his tone got to me. He cared. He cared enough to put our friendship on the line. He cared enough to voice it, even though he knew it was going to drive me crazy.

  He cared.

  That was quite a lot to say compared to the other people in my life.

  Just like that, the whole thing—what made me spiral out of my emotions—flashed right before me. Disconnecting from his gaze, I felt no shame, only sadness that could be acquired through deep hurt and suffering.

  “He has a newborn baby, and I have never seen him smile like that, like he loves that baby.” My voice came out shaky, breathless even, as I recalled the entire scenario that would be forever tattooed in my mind, and in came the gutting pain that tagged along with it. “He never smiled that way to me. Never. Not once. Not when I begged for his love, not when I cried for him to give me a hug at least, a kiss, or any sort of affection I craved; he never gave … not an ounce.”

  “I don’t understand…” He frowned deeply, completely puzzled. “Who’s he?”

  “My dad,” I uttered it as if the words were being wrenched out of me. The memory of him holding the tiny baby in his arms, gazing at it with unconditional love, was still afresh in my mind.

  “Fuck, I’m sorry.” Brody seemed perplexed about my revelation. “I had no idea.”

  Neither had I, but apparently, some people went through the world living double lives just like my father. No wonder he was always out on business trips. I bet it was one of his top excuses to cover his tracks.

  “Do any of the girls know?” he asked lightly as he directed a soft, worrying glance at me.

  Shaking my head, I took a deep breath. “No, I can’t tell them yet. I’m not ready. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be.” Admitting this out loud surprised me. I hadn’t planned it, nor did I realize I was actually capable of saying it out loud.

  “I had no idea. Amber…” He reached out, pulling me close before engulfing my frame with his, holding me and cradling my head against his chest while his hand rested on the back of my neck, making soothing gestures.

  Damn. I wasn’t going to cry. Damn him.

  “Today wasn’t a good day. I did tell you that,” I choked out, fighting the urge to shed my tears.

  “I’m here,” he softly cooed, making me feel secure. “I’m here.”

  For the first time, someone really was, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. My emotions were strung high, my senses running amuck. Hardcore. God help me, I was merely a sinner. Through and fucking through.

  “Brody, I don’t think…” I began to say as I tried to untangle myself from him, but he was adamant that I stay put with my cheek attached to the sun-kissed skin of his toned and rather too defined chest.

  “It’ll be okay. I’m here. You’re safe.”

  Yep, God help me. My hormones sure as fuck weren’t going to try and salvage anything at this point.

  That night, Brody’s good intentions evolved into something more physical. I went in his room a virgin and came out … undeniably not.

  Chapter Seven

  Present

  Athens, Greece

  “Are you sure you want to really settle here? It’s not forever, is it?” Trista’s saddened voice broke through my thoughts as I watched her questioning Lindsey while we drank our coffee and other refreshments after a festive luncheon.

  Lindsey’s face fell a little. “Aww, boo, don’t be sad. I know it’s going to be weird without me around, but I have to be here with Dimitris. He needs me here, and frankly, I need to be with him, too. Besides, I don’t want anything to come in between us. Claudine did enough damage in wanting to break us apart. God knows we’ll have more trials coming our way, but for us to get through them, we need to stick together.”

  “I know…” Trista sighed, knowing all too well the fight and struggle Lindsey had been forced to go through to get where she was now and how she herself had to tackle her own afflictions before fully embracing her future with Dimitris. It was a tough passage, yet everything was worth it in the end. “It’s just, with Emma gone and now you, the house will be so empty. I never thought we wouldn’t be graduating together.”

  The house would be so empty without her in it. Although she owned it, she was going to allow us to continue living there, which was generous. Then again, this was Lindsey after all, and she took care of the people she loved.

  “As long as our friendships remain intact, we’ll be okay,” Emma voiced, seeming complacent about it. “I’m only a drive away, so you two chicks can visit me anytime. Once this baby monster pops out, I will need all the extra help I can get.” She intently gazed at the both of us. “You two be will on diaper duty pretty soon, so you better have all the fun you guys can get now, ‘cause mister poop and pee will be here before you know it.”

  We all laughed at her suggestion. It wasn’t a question if we were going to be helping her out or not. It would be, after all, the first baby in the group, and I could picture us scrambling to help Emma out.

  “Have you guys thought of names yet?” I questioned as I pictured what the baby would look like. Heck, that baby had some beautiful, strong genes. It probably would be a beautiful, blonde baby with bright, vivid blue eyes, and some serious baby swagger.

  “We’re still waiting on that until the last month or so. It can be hard arguing with Bass since all he does is mess with me by teasing me with funny names.” She grinned, her eyes sparkling at the mention of her beloved husband.

  Looking at her so enamored at the mention of Bass Cole, I wanted to kick Trista for even questioning Emma about the baby’s paternity. It was quite obvious that the very idea itself was impossible.

  Our discussion turned into blasts from the past, reminiscing about the good ol’ days and how it all had begun with Emma moving in as Lindsey’s roommate and how Emma had been so shocked in the beginning with Lindsey’s mercurial attitude that it almost scared her away. Hearing those stories made me realize how blessed I was to have found the loving group of women. All of them were strong-willed, yet we stuck together as though we truly were sisters.

  Memory lane occupied most of the afternoon. It was heart-warming to simply hangout with the girls, most especially to be around Lindsey again without a trace of anger or hostility between us. It felt like it had back in the day, and I couldn’t be happier.

  After our long chat, everybody headed back to Dimitris’ and Lindsey’s breathtakingly beautiful villa to unwind before changing into semi-cocktail wear for dinner since his family was going to be coming to further the celebration of their se
cond nuptials.

  It was funny thinking about how they had separated and divorced, only to remarry again. I supposed, if you were fated to be with someone, no matter how one tried to run away from it, it was going to find you whether you wanted it to or not.

  Maybe one day, I would find my own fated person to be with. For the meantime, I would bask in the joyous reunion with my friends because who knew when we all would be together again?

  Once confined in the bedroom, I sighed as I plucked my pumps off each foot before I heard a short rap at the door.

  “Coming!” I yelled across the room before I strode towards it, opening it with mild abandon. “Hey, you, what’s up?”

  Carter beamed, still dressed in his casual attire with his dress shirt unbuttoned from the top with pushed back sleeves. He looked scruffy and sexy, all in one hot, steaming package.

  “Hey, Linds mentioned that you’re heading back home soon. When do you think you’re planning to go?” He gave me an intent look.

  “Tomorrow.” Stepping aside to let him inside the room, I sighed before responding to him. “You?”

  “The day after,” he instantly replied just as I was shutting the door behind him.

  I immediately went towards the small, cozy settee across the room that sat next to a little balcony.

  Carter followed before taking the opposite white-patterned, wingback chair across from me.

  “Well, I was thinking, why don’t I fly out with you?” he asked before I even had the chance to get comfortable in my chair.

  I paused, frowning at him. “You sure? Wouldn’t that be too weird?”

  “How so?” He shrugged before glancing towards the floor. “I really don’t want to hang around out here with Emma. I know Trista’s going to be here, as well, but you know, her boyfriend is Bass’s best friend, and with you gone, I won’t have anyone around who’s kind of neutral and not on his side.”

 

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