Remember Love

by Jessica Nelson

  "Take off your coat."

  Surprise registered on the guy’s face, quickly replaced by a sneer. "Who do you think you are? Quit hiding Katrina. I’m not going to hurt her."

  Behind him, Katrina had stilled. Alec could feel her warm, quick breaths at the base of his neck. With his thumb, he stroked her inner wrist while he aimed a frigid stare at the man. "Coat off. Then she’ll talk"

  The guy paused, then struggled out of his bulky jacket and whipped it to the floor. Beneath he wore only a stained t-shirt. No visible weapon.

  Alec let go of Katrina’s wrists and moved forward. His chest stopped aching and, with surprise, he realized he’d been holding his breath.

  Rubbing her sore wrists, Katrina came out from behind Alec and squared her shoulders. She hadn’t recognized the stranger until she’d heard his voice. Giving the bedraggled man in front of her a pitying stare, she took a deep breath. "Steve."

  Steve moved to come closer but Alec stopped him with a simple shift in stance. Katrina’s gaze slid to Alec and she saw what Steve did. A man ready for violence. And she saw more. A flash of silver. Alec’s iPhone. In his hands, below the counter.

  Her attention moved back to Sharon's husband. Emotions played across his gaunt face. Fear, in the widening of his eyes. Rage, in the twisting of his lips.

  Like an animal cornered. And everyone knew a cornered animal could be the most dangerous of all.

  "You stole my family." He bared his teeth. "I can’t find them. I can’t think or sleep." His hands remained balled at his sides. The stale, bitter stench of alcohol and body odor filled her small store.

  "Steve, let us help you. Have you been home at all?" Though she didn’t feel sympathy for him, she tried to inject softness into her words.

  "Oh, you’ve helped enough. Filling Sharon’s head with nonsense until she left me."

  "You hit her. You stabbed her with a knife." Why was she arguing with a crazy guy?

  "She lied. That woman’s no good, a waste of time. She’s lucky I want her." He stepped forward.

  Katrina didn’t so much see as feel Alec’s body tightening beside her. Swallowing, she set her chin. "I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time." Not. "But I’m going to ask you to leave before I call the police."

  Steve laughed, a harsh, grating sound that made her blanch. "You filled her head with lies, telling her Jesus loves her and wants to take care of her. Filth."

  He spit on the floor, then scooped up his coat and, moving backwards, swiped at a rack of books. In a flurry of pages, they thunked to the floor.

  "You’ll be sorry, Katrina Ross." He whirled to leave just as the front door opened. Grant Harkness pushed in, palming the butt of his gun.

  "Hands on your head," he barked.

  Steve lifted his hands slowly, shooting her a spiteful look. The police officer following Grant cuffed Steve and then hauled him out the door while reading him his rights.

  Katrina grabbed the counter and lowered herself to the stool, knees shaking.

  "Alright guys. I’ll need to get your statements." Grant gave her a cool stare before nodding to Alec. She ignored Grant’s attitude. She hadn’t felt this helpless in a long time, not since Grant had showed up at her door and informed her that Joey and her mother were in the hospital.

  She shivered and wrapped her arms tightly against herself, wishing the memory had faded over time, and the feelings with it. Goosebumps popped up on her skin.

  "Let’s go through this." Grant leaned against the counter, notebook in hand. "Steve entered the store at what time?"

  Somehow she made it through the statements and finally, after Alec insisted on a police officer to guard her house, Grant left.

  A void of silence settled in the store. Emotional exhaustion seeped through her, sapping her mental resistance to a police guard.

  Why had she let Alec get rid of the couches? Her back ached from huddling on the stool and she longed to go home, soak in a bubble bath, and banish from her mind the fear that refused to leave.

  Alec pulled the blinds down and then he flipped the sign on the door to closed and twisted the lock.

  "What are you doing?" Her voice sounded weak, thready.

  "You need a break." He stalked toward her. "I’m going to take care of you, Katrina."

  An alarm clanged in her head. Hadn’t he said those exact words ten years ago? No going down on one knee and professing his undying love, but a pronouncement that he would care for her. At the time, it had made her feel safe and protected. But now she only wanted to escape the shackles that chained her to the past, as tight and cold as the handcuffs Steve wore.

  "C’mon." Alec grabbed her by the shoulders and propelled her to the office. She sank into her chair and wished the memories would disappear.

  "What’s going on?" Alec perched on the edge of her desk, his tan slacks straight and wrinkle free. His eyes looked worried. "Your face is the color of paste."

  How could she explain it to him? What words could possibly describe the unbelief and then the killing pain she’d experienced that night? She shuddered and tightened her fingers in her lap. She had to get a grip. She took a deep breath and met Alec’s concerned gaze.

  The old Alec would be hounding her. This one sat quietly and waited for her to speak. Whether the change was due to God or to learned business tactics, she didn’t know.

  "I’m not sure how to explain it," she began, then paused until she felt she could talk without her voice wobbling. "Grant was the one who. . . who came to the house and told me about the accident." Her chest hurt. She hadn’t told anyone, not even Rachel, about that night.

  It had seemed private, something no one else would understand.

  There was a tell-tale whiteness about Alec’s lips. So he was fighting his emotions. For some reason, it gave her a feeling of kinship.

  He should hear about that night from her. His pain would be different than hers, but did it matter? He was Joey’s father and he deserved to know.

  "It was raining," she said, her voice sounding as though it came from a great distance. "Mom and Joey went to pick up the pizza we’d ordered. We’d gone to Disney World that day and got home late, starving. The pizza place was almost closed but Lynn took our order." She swallowed. "Joey was laughing when he left. A little over-tired and hyper because of the long day."

  Alec’s jaw clenched so tight his teeth ground. He should have been here. It would’ve changed things. Somehow.

  Katrina looked away, her face sagging beneath the weight of grief. "Mom made him take the umbrella so he wouldn’t get her car wet. She hugged me before walking out the door. I can count on one hand the times she’s hugged me." Her voice shook. "They didn’t come back. An hour later Grant showed up, dripping wet and for once looking at me with kind eyes. And pity. I thought, an accident, they’re in the hospital." Her eyes shimmered as they met his and it took all of Alec’s willpower not to slide off the desk and hold her.

  But he couldn’t. The way her face looked tore into him. How could she want him closer? If he’d bothered to answer one phone call, maybe Joey would still be alive.

  "I don’t remember what words he used to tell me. Later I read they were crossing the bridge and the other car smashed them into the rail. And then they were gone, slipping away from me within days of each other. There was nothing I could do. Just like today." She trailed off, her eyes silver pools of sorrow.

  Alec cleared his throat and blinked quickly to rid his eyes of the burning. "You weren’t helpless today, Katrina. I was here. Steve won’t hurt you."

  Her gaze cleared. "I felt helpless, but you’re right. I wasn’t. Because of you. Because of Jesus." She wet her lips. "The Lord is my helper, whom shall I fear?"

  "Quoting scripture again?"

  A small smile lifted her lips and the drawn look melted away. "Thank you, Alec, for bringing me in here. I haven’t let myself think of that night in a long time, but I’m glad I could share it with you. You’ve reminded me of who gives me strength." A lit
tle laugh escaped, at odds with the teary brightness of her eyes.

  "I’m so sorry." Alec stood and went to her. He wished he could so easily rid himself of the guilt that suddenly plagued him. Was this how she felt about the secret she’d kept? He slipped his arms around her, inhaling the fresh scent of her hair against his cheek.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  He’d meant to soothe her, but it was she who comforted him. She fit neatly in his arms, as if she belonged there. As though they’d been carved together, two pieces meant to join as one.

  He slid his cheek against hers. Like velvet. Softer than any rose petal he’d ever felt. His lips found the delicate line of her jaw. Tasted it in ragged whispers of breath. Her hands clutched at him, pulled him closer.

  And then his lips found her mouth and she was no longer soft, but hot, a raging fire that devoured his very soul. He groaned, raked his fingers through her hair as he took her passion and stoked it, as she reciprocated, until he thought he might explode.

  All the women he’d ever been with, touched, kissed, no one had been like this.

  He would never let her go.

  Someone pounded on the front door. The sound of it broke their embrace.

  Katrina stepped away, her eyes bright, her lips swollen.

  Had it been like this in high school? He didn’t remember, and that made him think it hadn’t. Feeling uncharacteristically lighthearted, Alec winked at her before going to the front of the store. He felt Katrina at his back. He flipped the lock and Rachel pushed in, grabbing Katrina in a hug.

  "I just heard! That maniac." She pulled away and eyed Alec with suspicion. "What’s he doing here?"

  "Helping. Who told you?" She let Rachel guide her to a stool, sliding him an apologetic smile.

  He lifted his shoulders as if he didn’t care. He stayed by the door because there were only two stools behind the counter.

  "Grant called. He said you might need me and so I rushed over. You’ve been crying." Her eyes narrowed. "And you look … different. Why?" Rachel sent Alec an accusing glare.

  Katrina leaned back against the wall. "That was thoughtful of Grant."

  "Did Alec make you cry? Why is your face so pink?"

  Katrina flipped him a quick glance, the color on her face deepening. She looked back to Rachel. "Alec didn’t make me cry." She grimaced. "A crazy guy barged into my store and terrified me. Please quit looking at Alec as if he’s a serial killer."

  Alec felt the muscles at the base of his neck unknot at Katrina’s defense of him. Between his rough past, exposing Carmichael, and leaving her, he sometimes thought the whole town was against him. He needed Katrina to stand with him in the way she couldn't ten years ago. Their fights, her endless distrust, made leaving their wedding easier than it should’ve been. Her acquiescence to the things townspeople said about him and Carmichael had disgusted him and in his quest to punish her, he’d wounded himself.

  *****

  While Rachel grilled her for details, Katrina never forgot that Alec stood near the door, watching and listening. She could still feel the heat of his skin, the movement of his mouth against hers, enrapturing her.

  She struggled to focus on what Rachel was saying. She stood beside Katrina, hands on her hips, the scent of Chanel #5 clinging to her suit.

  After several minutes of Rachel’s spouting off, Katrina stood up and put her hand gently on Rachel’s arm. "Okay, you can chill out now."

  To her surprise, Rachel burst into tears. "He could’ve hurt you," she wailed.

  "No, no, I’m fine." Katrina bit her lip and smoothed her palm in circles across Rachel’s back. Rachel never cried and here she was, sobbing like a baby. Alec crossed the room and went into the office. He came back and Katrina took tissues from him gratefully.

  Despite all of the character traits that had strengthened or changed in Alec, one remained the same. His compassion.

  She’d never seen him turn his back on someone in need. He kept his emotions carefully masked but beneath the veneer of cold reason beat a tender heart. She gave Rachel the tissues.

  Rachel, sniffling, wiped her eyes. "Do I look like a raccoon?"

  Katrina chuckled. "Worse."

  "That horrible man! What was Sharon thinking?"

  "To leave?" Alec asked.

  "No." Rachel’s brows drew together angrily. "To marry him in the first place. He might’ve killed her or Katrina. Grant said they’ve been looking for him for weeks."

  Rachel sniffled again and began to look around. Katrina saw Kat’s Korner through fresh eyes. Two shelved walls stuffed with books. The front wall with the window bared and lonely. Because she loved her store, it felt like home. But looking at it this way reminded her that to others it appeared cold and impersonal.

  "I’m planning a few more things," Katrina explained when Rachel’s eyes widened at the empty space at the front of the store.

  "You should’ve left the couches."

  "I’m using that space for something."

  "What could be that big?"

  "Yes, Katrina, what?" Alec crossed his arms and leaned back against a bookshelf, utterly male.

  She couldn’t help the breath that caught in her throat. He looked strong and masculine, a man who would protect and care for his own. But wasn’t that what had drawn her to him so long ago?

  "Katrina." Rachel poked her. "What are you putting in?"

  "Uh, a surprise. I haven’t gotten a firm answer yet, but when I do I’ll let you know." She pulled herself away from thoughts of Alec and smiled at Rachel. "As you can see, I’m fine. A little shaky, but fine."

  "Good." Rachel finished drying her face and resumed her usual straight-backed stance. "I’m flying to New York tomorrow morning."

  "Business?" Alec arched a brow.

  "Yes," Rachel answered coolly. Directing her gaze to Katrina, she said, "I think you’ll find the results interesting." She hugged Katrina one more time and then marched to the door. "I’ll call you next week, after Thanksgiving. You might want to keep some Mace behind your counter."

  "Thanks." Katrina flashed a feeble smile and then fiddled with the stapler. The door snapped closed behind Rachel.

  "Why would you find something Rachel is doing interesting?" Alec studied her.

  Katrina placed some receipts to the side and then turned to face him. He might as well know. "When you first came I was suspicious of your motives." She shrugged. "So I asked Rachel to check up on you."

  A slow smile spread across Alec’s face. "That’s it?"

  "Yes."

  "So this trip to New York is only to make sure that I’m what? A law-abiding citizen?"

  "Something like that," she mumbled. It seemed silly now.

  Alec straightened and walked to her. "I’ll see you in church tomorrow. Tell Rachel to have fun."

  "You’re leaving?"

  "My secretary, Marta, faxed some paperwork to me this morning that I need to review."

  "Aren’t you upset?"

  "Because you’re still the same?" He shook his head, the smile fading. "Trust is something that has to be built. It takes time. In some ways you’ve changed. But the walls you’ve built around your heart are still solid stone."

  He ran his hand across her hair, down her cheek, then turned around and left. Katrina slumped onto her stool. Was he right?

  Ten years ago she’d left a boy at the altar and blamed it on a kiss he hadn’t wanted. Now she wondered if she would have run anyway.

  *****

  Thanksgiving arrived with a rush of warm weather and clear skies.

  Katrina sent those skies one last, longing glance before lugging her grocery bags into the church reception hall Thursday morning.

  The annual Thanksgiving dinner for widows and widowers started in three hours and she had a lot of setting up to do. Becky, the youth pastor’s wife, wouldn’t be able to help because she’d gone into labor that morning and Rita, the church secretary, had backed out at the last minute, citing family circumstances.

  That
left Katrina, Joe, and Mrs. Moore, the elderly cook. She’d been preparing the annual turkey for twenty years and as Katrina rushed into the kitchen, she realized Mrs. Moore would need a replacement soon.

  "Let me help." She stashed the bags on the island and took the oven mitts from Mrs. Moore’s trembling hands. After checking the turkey’s temperature, she left it in and turned down the heat. Mrs. Moore waddled to the far side of the room and sank into an old recliner set against the wall.

  "I’m here." Joe burst into the kitchen, loaded down with bags. "I’ve got a recruit outside. Hey, Katrina, you brought dessert right?"

  "Yeah." Katrina winced but Joe left too quickly to notice. As soon as he disappeared she ran to the bags and stuck the melting gallons of ice cream into the freezer.

  A snore, guttural and long, filled the kitchen. Katrina swallowed her laugh. Mrs. Moore stretched in the recliner, her glasses slipping down her nose as she snoozed.

  Ha. At least no one would ever know she’d almost ruined dessert. She closed the freezer door.

  "Caught you."

  Katrina whirled around, hand to her chest.

  "Joe said you had dessert. I said it was probably melting." Alec sent her a disarming smile that made her heart flutter like a schoolgirl who’d just gotten winked at by the hot quarterback.

  "It’s not melting anymore. Are you the recruit?" She walked to the table, unable to stop the silly grin spreading across her face.

  She hadn’t seen him in a few days. He wore a lazy smile and well-fitting jeans. She’d missed him. The feeling hit her like a sledgehammer and, to cover, she began unloading the bags.

  Alec helped. "He woke me up at seven this morning and talked me into it."

  "It’s very kind of you. We definitely could use the extra hands."

  "I like to make myself useful."

  "This is more than useful. Thank you."

  "You’re welcome." He trailed his forefinger down her jaw line and she almost shivered. A wink, and then he turned back to the table.

  They unpacked everything and started to organize food according to categories. Dessert, vegetables, bread, and so forth. Alec followed her lead.