by Tessa Bailey
“You’re asking me if I remember beating off onto your naked body?” He surged forward unexpectedly, fusing his mouth to her ear. “That’s not something a man forgets. Especially not when the girl gets off on it.” When she sucked in a breath, Vaughn laughed against the flesh of her neck. “You think I didn’t notice? Your orgasms were my life. I knew what they looked like, what made them happen fast, slow, hard, easy. I called each of them by name. I was their best friend.”
River’s equilibrium teetered, making her wonder if she was still in a drunken stupor after all. Or maybe she’d been overly ambitious thinking she could handle Vaughn’s fierce sexuality.
No. She couldn’t show any weakness or evidence of intimidation. There was no going back. “I want you to do it again.”
One powerful arm was around her lower back, yanking her into his warmth before she finished the request. Poised on her toes, she was held immobile as Vaughn groaned against her neck, into her hair. “So this is how I die, huh?” His Jersey accent was so thick now, she could’ve plucked it out of the air. “You’re not inviting me to touch you? You’re inviting me to not touch you?”
“Yes,” River managed, trying not to be obvious about inhaling his scent. “You’ll only be touching yourself.”
“Tell me why, first.” His huge frame was heaving with the effort to breathe. “I think I have the right to know that much before I stroke myself for your entertainment.”
River closed her eyes and four years fell away. Vaughn was once more the young man who ruled her every thought, her body, her mind. And she was a girl who hadn’t discovered her first heartache yet. Reality was right there, hovering in the background, but she pushed it away, determined to take what her body had been crying out for. In the process of letting those years melt away—just for a short time—honesty rippled out, the way it might have from a bright-eyed River, whose heart was still intact. “I…” She curled her fingers in his shirt. “I just need to feel sexy.”
Her back landed on the bed so fast she bounced, only recovering from her shock when Vaughn’s fingers began making quick work of her jeans, unbuttoning, jerking the zipper down, and shucking the denim across the room. “River, you almost had me coming in my pants earlier, dressed in a pair of baggy coveralls.” His attention raked her, starting at her neck and ending at the juncture of her thighs. “That’s not what you’re wearing now, though, is it? You want to recreate a memory, we’re going to do it right. That means your tits need to be on display. We on the same page?”
What had she gotten herself into here? She remembered being with Vaughn…but she hadn’t remembered remembered. When given the green light, he charged like a bull, mowing down everything in his path to get to her. This was what she’d wanted, though. Painful longing streaked down her middle, hitting its target and sending her fumbling for the front clasp of her bra. “My underwear—”
“Has to stay on,” Vaughn finished for her. He climbed onto the bed and straddled her waist, stealing her remaining reservations with his size, his commanding energy. With determined but methodical movements, he jerked his leather belt through the loops of his jeans. “You think I don’t remember the one rule we made, doll? A man doesn’t forget being kept away from virgin pussy by a little strip of material. Knowing a girl loves the sight of his dripping prick before she even knows what it’s capable of.” He growled above her. “Uh uh, Riv. I didn’t forget that. It might be the last thought that runs through my head when I leave this world.”
River’s hands lost their function and fell to the side, taking her sheer bra along with them. She barely registered the exposing of her own breasts until Vaughn reacted. He fell forward, bracing a hand on the headboard above her head at the last minute, the other hand fighting with his zipper. As she watched in riotous anticipation, Vaughn drew out his erection, already stroking the length of flesh with a guttural groan.
“Fuck, you’re even better than I remember.” He heaved the words, close enough to paint her mostly naked body with hot breath, tightening her nipples into straining peaks, shifting the flyaway strands of hair on her forehead. “I’ve been inside that body. I’ve pleasured that body. Haven’t I, Riv?”
Tearing her attention away from the fist pumping up and down on thick, ruddy flesh was near impossible, but the note of distress in Vaughn’s voice attracted her like a bee to honey. Soothe. Correct. It was like falling back into a rhythm she’d been born to play. “Yes, you were inside me…pleasured me.”
He exhaled on a shudder, that hand moving, squeezing, faster, faster. “I’m sorry,” he groaned. “I’ve jerked so much come out of my dick thinking of you, I should be ashamed of myself. And I didn’t even know you’d gotten sweeter.” Those brown eyes had gone deep, almost black, staring down at River, right through her. “I…are you really underneath me right now? Jesus, I can’t breathe.”
It took her a moment to realize Vaughn wasn’t just rambling in that dirty way she’d never stopped craving. No, his breathing was labored, sweat trickling down the sides of his handsome face. Overheated? That was all River’s lust-coated brain could conjure up, so she pushed up on one elbow, reaching for the hem of his T-shirt. “M-maybe you should take this off.”
She’d only lifted the garment past his belly button, catching just a hint of blue ink on Vaughn’s skin—a new tattoo?—before his voice stopped her dead. “No.” Seeing that he’d startled her into dropping the hem, he reached for her wrist, rubbing a comforting circle onto her skin with his thumb. “No, it’s not the shirt. It’s you, okay?” His lids dropped into slits. “Christ. Maybe I’m too fucked up for this.”
All she heard from Vaughn’s mouth was it’s you, and insecurities dog piled on top of one another, cutting off her air. I don’t feel the same way anymore, River. God, was he doing this out of guilt in some attempt to apologize? She shot up into a sitting position, attempting to slide her legs toward her chest, away from Vaughn, but his face went tight with alarm, and she found herself pinned to the bed. Both of them were breathing wildly into the sliver of space separating their faces.
“Get off me,” she whispered.
Vaughn’s head dipped forward, a tortured sound fleeing his lips. “No.”
Chapter Seven
Something fucked up was afoot. Most of it was him. Almost all of it, actually. Looking down at River while taking his pleasure had felt beyond wrong. So damn wrong. He’d torn them apart—hurt this beautiful creature—and the last thing he deserved was an up close and personal peep show while he got his rocks off. Self-disgust came part and parcel with self-pleasure in his world, but not like this. He’d sensed the wrongness in the center of his chest, like a hunting knife twisting.
And now…now, River had that look. One he recognized well. If she were still that twenty-year-old girl, he would say it meant she was insecure about his feelings. But that ship had sailed and he’d been at the helm. Still, nothing would stop him trying to repair it.
Without hesitation, Vaughn kicked into fix-it mode, grasping the sides of her face, forcing eye contact, focused on the patchwork quilt being stitched together inside her head. Not an easy feat considering his hard cock was now wedged up against her cotton panties, like a man begging entry to the only home he’d ever known.
“Stop looking off to the side,” he grated. “You know damn well I’ll stay like this all night.”
“I don’t know anything about you anymore,” she said through her teeth.
Those words had the effect of a cheese grater rubbing up the back of his spine. “I’m the same man.” Only a shit ton lonelier and only half complete.
There she went, trying to evade his gaze again, so he pressed their foreheads together, keeping her head still on the pillow. A hint of challenge sparked in her baby blues, and he almost howled with relief. “The same man wouldn’t have stopped halfway through what we were doing,” she said.
“No, you’re right about that. One hundred percent.” Sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, Vaughn rolled their
lower bodies together, watched her eyes go glassy. “Let me try again. I’m the same man with a different perspective.”
“After you explain that nonsense, will you leave?”
He kissed her forehead so she wouldn’t see his smile, chock-full of pain though it was. “River…”
Knowing he better not fuck up again tonight, he searched for the right words, even though speaking his thoughts out loud had never been his strong suit. And yeah, he rocked himself up against her pussy while he searched his brain, because Jesus, she was so warm. Probably slick into her panties, too.
Think. Or just tell the truth, asshole. “Men don’t always know what their thoughts mean. Especially me. Not all the way. But I know I felt selfish stroking while you watched. And I’ve been selfish enough where you’re concerned, doll.” Another, quicker, punch of his hips, which kicked a gasp up her throat. “It’s like, I never expected to have you so close again, and I was wasting it when I really needed to…give you the experience I was giving myself.”
Sometime during his speech, he had released the sides of River’s face, lifting her hands toward the headboard. The softening of her expression told Vaughn it was safe to release her eyes, and he dragged his attention down between their bodies to the naughty tits poking into his shirt. God, he wanted to feel them slide through his chest hair, but if he took his shirt off, there would be more questions tonight than he could handle.
“Let me get the taste of that pussy on my tongue,” he rasped into her neck. “That’s what I needed. Fuck, Riv, I couldn’t breathe around how bad I want to eat you. Still can’t. I felt that little rosebud through my pants today—up against your car—and I’m a sick man now. Am I imagining how bad it needs me?”
River jolted, her body arching underneath him, ripping a growl from his lips. “Vaughn…”
Taking a chance, he let his hands travel down the bed to hook beneath her knees. “Did you forget how filthy I am?”
“I must have—”
She broke off on a moan when he yanked up her legs, keeping them just an inch away from his hips on either side. “Say yes, huh, doll?” He slipped his tongue back and forth on his lower lip, watching River’s gaze go smoky. “My mouth needs some of this tight kitty.” He bucked against her twice. “Don’t keep them apart.”
“Okay, yes. Yes.” She slapped a hand over her mouth, proving she did remember what it was like having him between her thighs.
“Good girl,” he murmured, sliding his open mouth through the valley of her knockout tits on his way down, down. When he reached the perfect notch of River’s legs, nothing could stop him from pressing his face against the sweetness, breathing against the hindering cotton, kneading her calf muscles where he held them aloft. “Remember me?” he asked, fastening his panting mouth over the spot where her clit was, bathing the material with a lick. “I remember you. The hours of happiness you gave me. The misery you put me through. You were the church I prayed at on Sundays, weren’t you? You were my Virgin Mary.”
River’s fingers tangled in his hair, sending some form of sexual heroin through his veins. “Little l-less talking, please.”
Vaughn’s smile was wicked as he glided the panties down her elevated thighs, past her ankles and down to the floor, revealing his only chance at deliverance. “Oh Jesus.” He fell into her, lapping like a thirsty beggar, until he heard River’s hand slap back over her mouth and a muffled scream, the sound like diesel fuel being pumped into his tank. “Still so bare down here. Like your body doesn’t want to hide anything from me.” His thumb buffed her clit, up and back. “You have no idea what a fucking deviant I felt like, waiting, waiting for eighteen…then taking your underwear off and finding you so bare. It was wrong how hard it got me, Riv.” He gripped his prick and started to jerk himself off. “But I’ve never been as rocked up as I am right now, knowing I’m getting the woman as well as the girl.”
“Please,” came the distorted cry from above, her knees falling open in a familiar signal that she was nearing the end of her patience. God knew he loved getting her halfway there with his dirty speech, but he also knew those fingers in his hair would grow abusive if he delayed any longer.
“Coming, doll.”
Vaughn secured River’s lower body against the bed, both heels pressed into his shoulders—God bless her flexibility—and fuck, he just feasted. Thumbs pressing into her hipbones, he sank into the perfection of her taste. Lightness carried the top of his head up to the ceiling, the melody of her cries playing in his head like a symphony. He alternated between flicking his tongue against her clit and suckling the tiny bud, his middle finger working in and out of her. Beating off with the opposite fist was infinitely more satisfying than how they’d started out, because it was about River, too. About both of them.
Christ, when she’d accidentally implied there had been no other men since him? She’d meant it. He couldn’t add his index finger to the banging of her pussy without her hips jerking on the bed, a startled cry from the pillows. Would she let him press his aching cock inside her right now? Maybe. Maybe, but he wouldn’t try. Wouldn’t claim what he hadn’t earned. What he didn’t deserve. Not unless she said the words, because then he’d be lost in the fever to please.
And then River’s hips and thighs started to tremble on the bed, and Vaughn couldn’t think any more. His mouth turned punishing on her clit, lips pressing around the swollen nub, tongue giving it hell and heaven at once, both fingers pressed up into her, a privilege his dick cried out for a second later. His growl of bliss was released against River’s flesh, ropes of male fluid soiling River’s bedclothes. She followed him into oblivion seconds later, her gorgeous body twisting on the bed, fingers clawing at the comforter, giving his ears the pleasure of hearing her clearly, without the barrier of her hand.
“Vaughn…yes. Oh God. Vaughn.”
His eyes rolled to the back of his head, the pleasure of hearing River cry out his name almost as intense as the orgasm he’d just lived through. When her body went limp, he crawled over her, admiring the flush of her belly and tits as he ascended, dropping kisses in the rosiest spots. “Beautiful,” he murmured, humbled. “Beautiful, beautiful…”
Finally, he reached River’s dazed expression…which was already beginning to transform with oh-shit-what’s-next. Yeah, he got that—real fucking well—even if it hurt like a slug in the gut. So even though the pressure in his throat begged him to push a little further, attempt to stay the night and hold the girl who’d been under his skin for over a decade, he knew better than to press his luck. He’d actually gotten to touch River tonight, see to her needs. A week ago, he’d never thought it a possibility.
Don’t be greedy.
“Can I see you tomorrow?”
Discerning blue eyes searched his face. “No.” She sat up and turned her back, killing him on the spot. But a squaring of her shoulders and a soft smile back at Vaughn resuscitated him. “You can see…us.”
“Thank you,” he whispered, after a pause that might have gone on a full hour, courtesy of his heart lodging in his mouth. Climbing off the bed and dressing was almost impossible when his instincts demanded he smother River in a hug, and tuck her into his body for the remainder of the night, but he managed to hold back, reminding himself that pushing could damage whatever fragile connection they might be building here, against all odds. With a steadying breath, Vaughn finished pulling on his jeans and went to the window.
“You can go out the front door,” she murmured from the bed, a lilt of amusement in her tone.
He winked at her. “Once more for old time’s sake.”
Right away, he wished he could snatch back the finality of that phrase. They were seeing each other tomorrow. Incredible, but true. And not just each other, but…their child. He would battle like a gladiator to make sure nothing about his family ever felt final. And suddenly, he knew exactly where to start. When he jumped down into the front yard, there was hope in his chest for the first time since he’d laid eyes on River.<
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Chapter Eight
River bounded through the hallway of Hook High, ignoring the sarcastic comments from most of her friends—except for Jasmine, who encouraged her with a knowing smile—and burst through the front door into the concrete quad. Inside her chest, a pounding started, so heavy, so extreme, so erratic, she wondered how her body sustained it. Where was Vaughn? Where? He would sustain it for her.
She spun on a heel toward the south end of campus, hitching her book bag higher on her shoulder as she started to jog. The familiar purr of an engine moved the pounding in her rib cage lower on a thrumming slide of new, feminine awareness. She skidded to a halt when she saw Vaughn leaning up against the side of his truck, unmoving and hidden behind sunglasses. She had to give herself a moment, simply so she would survive the impact. God, oh God. He was so hot. She couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand the way he touched her, spoke her name with such…weight. She also couldn’t stand to be away from him. Even the school day was unbearable now.
Finally, she got her feet moving again, eating up the stupid distance between them. Vaughn didn’t move until she was almost upon him, stepping away from the truck to catch River up in his arms, his ever-present smirk in place. “Hiya, doll.”
Her boyfriend swapped their positions, pushing her bottom up against the passenger side door, studying her face with something like confused elation before bringing their mouths together for a groaning kiss.
“What’d I do to earn you, huh?” He tugged on River’s blonde ponytail. “Nothin’. That’s what.”
She squirmed between the truck and Vaughn’s rock hard body, a thrill speeding through her belly when she encountered his swelling erection. “Maybe I need to do something to earn you. Did you ever think of that?” Another suggestive squirm had her boyfriend’s jaw going slack. “Take me somewhere. Anywhere.”