by Mel Sparke
“Uh, I did meet Sonja,” he explained, “but she wasn’t feeling too well. And to be honest, I’m pretty knackered myself. So we cut it short.”
“That’s a shame. Mind you, she hasn’t looked right for a few days. And she didn’t make it to Matt’s party last night,” replied Anna, studying Owen intently. He did look drained. His face had taken on a kind of grey pallor and he looked about ten years older than when she had seen him last.
“You look all done in,” she soothed. “They must be working you too hard. Let me make us both a coffee - the kettle’s just boiled.”
Anna went into the kitchen area to do so, bringing back two steaming mugs into the living room. Owen was staring into space, so much so that he didn’t even see her standing in front of him, waving the mug in front of his face.
“Owen? Owen? Are you sure you’re all right?” she asked, concerned now that it wasn’t just overwork that was causing him to look so dreadful. He seemed so preoccupied.
“Huh?” Owen finally realised she was speaking and held up his hand to take the mug. “Sorry, Anna, it’s been a tough week.”
Anna was worried. When she had spoken to him yesterday to finalise the arrangements for today, he had been really upbeat about the course. What could have changed his mind so dramatically between then and now?
“Was Sonja feeling really poorly then?”
Owen started at the mention of his girlfriend. He hadn’t heard the rest of the sentence, only “Sonja” which had made him jump and slop his drink.
“Ooh, sorry, Anna.” he said, leaping up and rushing to get a cloth. “I was miles away.”
What’s gone on between you two, wondered Anna, aware from his reaction that the problem was nothing to do with work. He came back from the kitchen with a cloth and mopped up the splodges of coffee on the carpet. Throwing the cloth on to the table, he slumped back in his chair once more.
“I was just asking how Sonja was.”
“Fine, great…” Owen’s voice trailed off and they sat in silence for a moment, him not willing to say any more, her not daring to probe any deeper.
“Look, Anna, d’you mind if I have a bath?” he asked, standing up and placing his mug on the coffee table. “I feel really grimy from the train. Is that OK?”
“Sure you can. I’ll, uh, make us something to eat, shall I?”
Owen didn’t answer. He’d already picked up his rucksack and headed off to the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind him.
Maya walked into her house after her conversation with Billy and right into Sunny, who was eating crisps and watching TV at the kitchen table. Her hair was back to its natural colour, there was no trace of make-up on her face… she looked like Maya’s younger sister once more. Glancing up, Sunny’s mouth immediately turned down into an expression of contempt and she quickly looked away again.
“Where’re Mum and Dad?” Maya barked, determined to have a go at her sister, yet careful to make sure they weren’t in earshot.
“Mum’s at Sainsbury’s, Dad’s in the shed,” came the reply.
“Good. Did you have a nice time at Matt’s last night?” Maya continued, her tone sarcastic.
Sunny shrugged. “It was OK.”
“And you had a nice time snogging Billy?”
“Was that his name?” Sunny asked, her face registering no reaction. “I don’t remember.”
Maya dragged out a chair opposite Sunny and sat down. “So you won’t remember lying about your age or telling him that you were at college in the city plus whatever other rubbish came out of your mouth?”
Sunny looked blankly at her sister. “Sorry, you’ve lost me,” she said haughtily. ‘you must be talking about someone else.”
“Actually no, Sunita, I’m talking about you,” replied Maya coldly. “And I’m getting pretty sick of either hearing or seeing what a lying, sneaky little cheat you’re turning into. I’ve been pretty good to you so far. I haven’t said a word to Mum or Dad about any of the rotten tricks you’ve pulled. But - and this is a warning - I’ve had enough.”
“Who cares?”
“I do. You really showed yourself up last night. You looked like a tart and you behaved like one too. And quite what you were doing there in the first place, I can only guess at. I don’t know if you’re trying to prove how grown up you are or if you’re just doing it to annoy me - either way, you’re pushing your luck.” Maya pushed her angry face close to her sister’s. “If you pull any more stunts like that, or if I hear you’ve been telling any more lies, then Mum and Dad will hear about it. And that isn’t a threat, it’s a promise. Got that?”
Sunny merely shrugged again and carried on eating her crisps.
Phew.
Sighing deeply, Owen sank into the steaming hot water, slid down the bath and dunked his head underneath. He lay there for a few seconds, holding his breath and enjoying the welcoming feeling of the water lapping around him. When he came up for air he could feel his body throbbing with the heat of the water. It matched his head, which had been pounding since the encounter with Sonja earlier that afternoon.
He wasn’t sure if her news had sunk in yet. He was still in a ‘pinch me and I’ll wake up’ dreamlike state, except in his case it was a nightmare.
Pregnant, he thought. It really was a nightmare. He didn’t want to be a father, not yet. What about his career? His life? It would change beyond all recognition with a baby around. And even more so for Sonja he suddenly realised.
God, what must she be going through? he thought and sorely regretted the way he’d handled things earlier. The bitter words of their conversation were whirling round and round in his head. He hadn’t been the most understanding boyfriend in the world, of that there was no doubt. But the shock of the announcement had taken him by surprise. And he felt that the ensuing conversation had run away from him, out of control.
He hadn’t meant to give the impression he didn’t care - of course he did. And he hadn’t meant to get Sonja’s back up, but she was so on edge, ready to jump down his throat at the first opportunity. Not that I can blame her, thought Owen.
If he’d been given a chance to mull it over - as he was doing now - he wouldn’t have said half the things he did that afternoon. Wouldn’t have said any of them.
Poor Son, she must be in a right state. And I haven’t done a single thing to make her feel any better.
CHAPTER 15
HIGHS AND LOWS
The four members of The Loud were spread across the stage in the function room at the back of The Swan, Ollie’s parents’ pub. They were in the middle of one of the extra rehearsals they’d organised for the music festival on Saturday, which was going to be the biggest event of their lives so far.
There was a definite edge to their performance. They’d all noticed it. Since they’d been booked for the festival, they’d more than doubled their normal rehearsal rate and were practising Joe’s new song, plus trying out new arrangements for some of their old songs. So far it was working and they were gaining confidence and technique each time they came together as a group.
Ollie’s only worry now was that they still hadn’t heard anything from Saul, the promoter who’d booked them. It had been a week now since that first - and only - phone call, and OIlie was beginning to fret that he really had been set up. He tried hard to push the thought to the back of his mind.
“So, have you spoken to Meg since she got back from her hols?” he asked Joe during a break.
Joe practically glowed at the mention of her name. “Yeah,” he answered, “I called her this morning. We’re meeting up later…” His voice trailed off. It still felt weird to him talking about a girlfriend; it certainly didn’t come naturally as it did to OIlie or Matt.
“And did she miss you?” OIlie probed, an impish grin on his face.
“Uh, yeah, she said she did,” replied Joe, blushing. “Oh and she’s definitely coming to Dansby at the weekend; she’s dead excited about it.”
“Does she know about… y’know
… the song?”
“Uh, not yet, but she will…”
“You mean you’re actually going to tell her?” OIlie said, wide-eyed. “Joe, that’s great! It’s about time you got the credit for all the stuff you write.”
“I guess so,” Joe flushed. “I only hope she likes it…”
“OIlie! Phone call for you.” Joe’s voice was drowned by the booming tones of Ollie’s father coming from the next room.
“Cheers. I’m on my way! She will, mate,” he called back to Joe as he disappeared. “She’ll love it.”
He jogged through the bar to the telephone. It was at times like this, when he was rushing from one end of the building to the other, that he wished The Swan had one of those cordless phones you could wander around with. But, as his Mum so practically pointed out, it wouldn’t last two minutes in a pub before someone pinched it.
When he came racing back in minutes later, Ollie’s face was flushed with excitement. “Hey! You will not believe who that was,” he yelped to the others.
Andy stroked his chin as though thinking hard. “Robbie Williams? Ali G?”
“No, you wally, only that bloke Saul, the festival promoter.”
The others immediately sat up and took notice.
“He was calling to finalise the details for Saturday,” shrieked Ollie. “And he wanted to know where to send the backstage passes. Can you bloody well believe it?”
“Oh, wow, that’s brilliant!” Joe enthused.
“Yep,” Ollie went on. “The festival kicks off at midday on Saturday and we’re on the second stage at 1.30 pm for a twenty-minute set. Apparently we need to be there early in the morning to soundcheck and because we’re on so early I reckon there’ll probably only be about ten people in the audience, but who cares? It’s a step in the right direction, eh, lads?”
The others nodded enthusiastically.
“Right,” Ollie carried on, “I must phone Kerry to tell her the good news. I was beginning to wonder if it was someone’s sick joke. I’ve got to tell her it’s kosher after all.”
He ran back into the pub again, leaving the other three to get excited about the prospect of playing on the same bill as bands who brought out proper albums and got into the charts.
Ollie dialled the Bellamys’ number and sat at the bar waiting for an answer. Kerry picked up the phone.
“Kez, it’s me,” he chirped.
“Oh, hi, Ol,” she replied. “Just hang on a minute will you, there’s someone at the door.”
Ollie heard Kerry put the receiver down and pad off towards the front door, then he heard the distant sound of female voices. Moments later, he heard Kerry pick up the phone again. He got ready to launch into his brilliant news.
“Ol, I’m going to have to call you back,” she told him abruptly.
“Hey, Kez, it’ll only take a second,” he laughed. “I just wanted to tell you…”
“No, Ol, really,” she cut in, uncharacteristically firm. “I have to go, it’s important. I’ll call you back later, OK?”
With that the phone line went dead and Ollie was left wondering what could be more important than his big news.
When Kerry answered her front door to find Sonja sobbing on the step, she knew something major was up. Like big time.
She had hardly ever seen Sonja cry in all the years that she’d known her. And yet here she was on Kerry’s doorstep, tears coursing down her face, sobbing uncontrollably. Kerry threw her arms around her and dragged her indoors.
“Son, tell me, what is it?” She knew it must be something truly awful, but couldn’t bear to think what.
After hanging up on Ollie, Kerry steered Sonja up the stairs to her bedroom, sat her on the bed, then grabbed a box of hankies from her dressing table and knelt down on the carpet in front of her.
Sonja took the tissue Kerry was offering and blew her nose. She grabbed another couple, pressed them to her eyes and took a deep breath.
“S-s-sorry about that,” she sniffed, wiping her nose. “I was f-fine until I g-got here, then I just f-fell apart.”
“What on earth is the matter? I’ve never seen you in such a state.”
“Oh, Kez, this is so awful I don’t know if I can tell you…”
“Tell me what?”
“I’ve just been out with Owen and I told him and he was s-s-so horrible. I couldn’t believe it. I never thought he’d react the way he did, b-b-but he didn’t care. And now I don’t know what to do. I couldn’t go home, everyone’s there and I can’t face them, not like this. So I came here instead. You don’t mind, do you?”
“No, of course not,” Kerry soothed, looking at her friend and wondering what she was going on about. “You’ll be fine here, stay as long as you like. But what was it that you had to tell Owen that made him so mad?” she probed.
“Well… the thing is, oh, Kerry, the thing is… I’m pregnant. And I don’t know what to do.”
“What??!!” No! Did I hear right? Pregnant? Not Sonja, of all people! “God, Son… You must be terrified,” Kerry got up off the floor and threw her arms around her best friend again.
“I am. It’s the worst possible thing that could happen. I’ve completely ruined my life and I feel so miserable I could die.”
Sonja began sobbing again, only this time into Kerry’s corkscrew-curly hair. Kerry sat and hugged and rocked her friend, letting her know she was there for her in any way she could.
“What a mess,” Kerry soothed, “And you’re sure it’s not just that your period’s late?”
Sonja shook her head. “No.”
“Have you been to the doctor’s?” Kerry asked gently.
“How can I?” Sonja wailed, “I can’t face Dr Joshi. How can I sit there and discuss that kind of thing with Maya’s father? I couldn’t, I’d be so embarrassed.”
“Oh, God, of course,” muttered Kerry.
“And what makes it even more unbearable,” Sonja went on, “is that when I told Owen I thought we’d be able to sort it out. But he was just h-h-horrid.”
“What happened? What did he say?”
Sonja related the conversation she’d had with Owen earlier. Kerry sat and listened and shook her head, totally sympathetic to Sonja’s reaction.
“You know,” Sonja finished, “I thought it might help if Owen was there for me. But he wasn’t. He was a complete bastard and that upsets me more than anything.”
Kerry nodded in agreement. “So do you know how pregnant you are?’
“I think so. It must have happened when I went up to Newcastle to stay with him, though God knows how it did happen. It’s not as though we’re both idiots. We both know all about safe sex. It must have just been a freak accident.”
“And do you know what you’re going to do about it?” probed Kerry gently.
Sonja’s bottom lip began to wobble again. “N-n-no, not really. I mean, I know I don’t want a baby, not now. I’m not even eighteen. But I don’t know if I could get rid of it either. I mean, I suppose I could have it adopted but… oh, God, I can’t believe I’m having this conversation. My mind’s all messed up, I honestly don’t know what to do.”
Kerry stroked her friend’s hair and hugged her once more. “I’m sure. It’s a lot to think about. But couldn’t you try going to the Family Planning Clinic? They’re there to help you and Dr Joshi need never know. I’ll come with you, if you like. It might even be worth talking to Owen again, when he’s had time to let the news sink in. I bet he’s feeling really bad about what went on between you today…”
She broke off, aware that Sonja was shaking her head furiously.
“No way, Kerry,” she said through gritted teeth. “I’m going to get through this on my own. As far as I’m concerned, Owen and I are finished.”
CHAPTER 16
WAITING
I can’t go on this course without trying to make amends. And I can’t leave her thinking she’s got to go through with this on her own.
Owen jumped out of the chair he’d been sitting in f
or the past hour and headed towards the door.
“I’m just nipping out for some beers,” he said to Anna as he put on his jacket.
“Sorry, Owen. I should have got some in,” she said, watching him intently and thinking how he didn’t look as if the bath had improved things much.
“Don’t worry,” he said, opening the door and looking back at her staring face. “D’you want anything while I’m out?”
“Uh, no thanks.”
Owen closed the door behind him and jogged down the metal staircase. She knows something’s up, he thought. He could see it in her face and by the way she was watching his every move back there. Owen desperately wanted to unburden himself to Anna, but knew it wasn’t fair. Not yet, not until he’d got things sorted with Sonja.
He’d decided he would ring her. Originally, while he’d been soaking, he had contemplated going round to her house, but decided against that move in case her family were around and wondered what was up. So he would have to phone her and beg her to see him again, to try and make amends.
Owen knew time was tight. He had to catch an early train in the morning to get to the hotel in the city for a 9 o’clock start, then he figured he wouldn’t get the chance to make contact again until the course finished on Wednesday, not with the amount of lectures, meetings and working dinners he was expected to attend. So it was now or… too late.
Owen walked along the road to the off-licence and bought four cans of lager, buying time while he decided what he was going to say. Then he nipped over the road to the park and found himself a spot inside the gates where he wouldn’t be overheard by anyone.
He drew his mobile phone out of his jacket pocket. As he punched in Sonja’s number, he noticed his hands were shaking. Someone picked up at the other end almost immediately.
“Hello, is that Mrs Harvey?”
“No, it’s Karin. I’ll get her for you.”
“Uh, no, actually it’s Sonja I’m after. It’s Owen.”