by Keeland, Vi
I narrowed my eyes. “Fair? You know what’s not fair? Having to answer my brother when he asks me for advice on how to get you back.”
Presley closed her eyes and blew out a deep breath. “God, I’m sorry.”
“Are you? Because I’m starting to think maybe you just want to keep your options open.”
She pursed her lips and glared at me. “You know that’s not true. Stop being an asshole.”
“Tell me, babe. If I go down on you, are you going to moan my name like you usually do, or might Tanner’s slip out?”
If eyes could shoot daggers, I’d be pretty holey at the moment. From the look on her face, I thought I was about to experience the wrath of Presley, but instead she stormed toward the door in silence. I caught her arm as she attempted to pass, knowing I needed to stop her, but not sure what the hell to say.
She spun around, and our eyes locked. So many emotions blazed through my veins: anger, sadness, confusion, terror. Presley’s chest was heaving; she looked as pissed off as I felt. I took a deep breath to try to calm myself, so I could figure out how to fix this, but all it did was bring in a whiff of her perfume.
Fuck.
She smelled so good. Suddenly, the anger coursing through my veins mixed with something else, and composing myself went out the window. I yanked her arm, pulled her against my chest, and used my teeth to capture her mouth.
Fuck.
Like a salve to a wound, her taste soothed the pain away. I felt greedy, wanting all of her to erase the doubts in my mind. Backing her up against the wall, I wrapped my hands around her cheeks and planted my lips over hers. The last two days seemed to disappear as she moaned into my mouth and lifted her legs to wrap around my waist. Her tits pushed against my chest, and she grabbed for the button of my jeans. This. This is what I needed to forget about everything else in the world. When she slipped her fingers into my pants, wrapped them around my cock, and squeezed, the swoosh of blood coursing through my ears was so loud, I wouldn’t have heard the fire alarm.
Though it wasn’t the fire alarm I needed to hear.
It was the knock at my bedroom door.
CHAPTER 21
* * *
Levi
“What do we do?” Presley’s eyes bulged.
I held my finger to my lips and prayed Fern would respond when I spoke.
“Who is it?”
“Tanner. Can I come in?”
Shit. I closed my eyes. I wanted to tell him about Presley and me, but this was not the way it should go down. So I pointed to the bathroom and mouthed, “Go in there.”
Presley nodded and scurried in, quietly closing the door behind her. My heart raced like a runaway train as I walked to the door. A deep breath did nothing to compose myself, but if I took any longer, I’d definitely raise suspicions. So I opened the door and held onto it, blocking entry and hoping he’d take the hint.
Tanner looked over my shoulder. “Took you long enough. I was starting to think you had a woman in there and I was interrupting something.”
I swallowed. “Nope. I was about to jump in the shower.”
“Again? You just showered an hour or two ago.”
Crap. I shrugged. “Summer in South Carolina.”
“Yeah, I’m not used to the heat either. Anyway, I wanted to ask if you knew where the grilled-cheese makers for the campfire are. Alex told me you had them when you camped out for his birthday.”
“They’re in the cabinet in the garage.”
“Great, thanks.”
Tanner turned away, and I almost breathed a sigh of relief. Almost. But he turned back around.
“Do you happen to know where Presley is? I went to her room first, but she’s not there.”
I looked into my brother’s eyes. Did he know she was in here? Or was he sincerely asking a question? My nerves were frayed, and I couldn’t be sure one way or the other. So I answered as truthfully as I could, uncertain how well my face contained the lies.
“I’ve been in here since she left for the store.”
My brother nodded. “She mentioned she might go see her friend Katrina. But I’m wondering if maybe she’s seeing someone.”
“Why would you think that?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. It just feels like something is in my way.”
I swallowed.
“You’d tell me if you knew she was with someone, right? Even if she asked you not to say anything? I mean bros before hoes and all.”
I studied his face. Did he know? I put the odds about even, because fuck if I had any idea. But I was in too deep now to go off script. So I nodded.
“Of course.”
He put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m glad you’re here. I miss having someone I can talk to.”
And thanks for slamming that last nail in on the coffin of my principles. I think it’s safe to lower them into the ground now.
“Yeah. Same.”
He waved. “I gotta get back to Alex. You have a good night.”
Once I heard his footsteps fade, I turned the lock on the door. Can’t be too careful. I wouldn’t be surprised if he came back and opened without knocking next time. Then I went to the bathroom and gently opened the door.
“He’s gone.”
Presley nodded. Her hands were shaking.
“Did you hear?”
She nodded again. “I’m not sure what I feel worse about, the fact that I can’t keep away from you and we almost got caught making out, or that I made you lie to your brother.”
I dragged a hand through my hair. “It’s a fucked-up situation.”
She frowned. “It is. And I’m so sorry you’re in the middle of things between me and Tanner.”
“You didn’t put me here. It takes two, and I wanted it as much as you, if not more.”
She shook her head. “I should go before he looks for me again.”
Normally when she had doubts, I didn’t let her walk away without trying to convince her things would work out. But I didn’t have the energy at the moment. Or maybe this was the first time I’d started to think maybe they wouldn’t…
***
The next day, my brother appeared at the entrance to my bedroom as I was folding my laundry.
“Hey, dude. Does this tie look stupid with this shirt?” he asked.
Tanner wore a blue dress shirt, with a maroon tie hanging off his shoulder.
“No, it looks fine.” I gave him a once-over. “Where you going all dressed up?”
“I have an interview.”
“An interview? Where?”
“Pinehurst has an opening for a football coach. So I threw my hat into the ring, and they called me.”
Pinehurst was a small college two towns over. It hadn’t occurred to me that Tanner might be considering locating here permanently, even though I probably should have known with the way he’d been acting lately.
“Why would you want that job? I thought you were liking the agent gig.”
“I only have a few clients right now. I can easily swing both for a while. If it turns out I can’t, I’ll just focus on the coaching. I’m not crazy about travel. And if I want to get serious about settling down and being here for Alex, I need to find something more stable anyway.” He knotted his tie. “You don’t think it’s a good idea?”
I tried to think about the kind of advice someone would give his brother if that someone didn’t have an ulterior motive. The coaching position sounded like a dream job for someone in his situation. If I steered him away from it, that would be for my own selfish reasons—not wanting him near Presley. And that wasn’t fair to him or Alex.
“No. I think the coaching job would be a good thing for you, if you’re looking to settle in Beaufort,” I forced out.
“Yeah, me too. I really hope I get it. I’m also eager to get back on the playing field. Football is still in my blood, and this’ll be one way to get my feet wet again without having to play, which I obviously can’t do. It’s the perfect opportunity for
me.”
I sucked in some air. “Well, I hope you get it, then.”
Tanner examined my face. “Are you okay?”
No, in fact. Not at all. Apparently, I must not have been doing that great of a job of pretending like I was happy for him. “Why do you ask?”
He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “I’ve been getting a strange vibe from you since the moment I arrived. And then the way you’ve been drinking… Well, I know a thing or two about addiction.”
I had been throwing back a few too many lately, but that was directly related to him being here and nothing more; I couldn’t exactly admit that.
“There’s nothing to the drinking. I’m…just going through my own shit, you know? You’re not the only one reassessing your life these days.”
He shook his head. “God, I feel like such a crappy brother. I’ve done nothing but unload all of my stuff on you since the second I arrived, and I haven’t bothered to stop long enough to figure out that you’re not okay.”
Sure. He’s the crappy brother.
My damn emotions were all over the place. One second I wanted to tell him about Presley and me in order to stake my claim, and the next, I wanted to protect my baby brother from ever finding out. The latter was where I stood at the present moment.
He made it worse when he said, “Listen, I have to apologize to you, Levi.”
I held out my palm. “No, you don’t.”
“Yes, I do.” He sighed. “I’ve intentionally alienated myself from you over the years because I couldn’t handle your success. I’m your freaking brother. You don’t do that to your only sibling—erase him from your life because you can’t seem to be happy for him. My therapist has helped me learn that your success has nothing to do with my lack of it. You deserve every one of your wins. I’m sorry I was insecure for so many years, and that I wasted precious time I could’ve spent cheering you on from the sidelines. That’s where I should’ve been all along, not off in my own world with my head stuck up my ass. I—”
“Tanner, stop.” The guilt inside of me felt like it was overflowing and about to burst. “I always understood why you stayed away. I don’t blame you for any of it and can’t say I would’ve acted any differently if I were you.”
“You know,” he said. “It hit me on the plane ride down here. Dad and Gramps are both gone. You and I—we’re the only Millers left besides Alex. That’s a big responsibility. We should be setting an example that family sticks together no matter what. It’s not too late to do that.”
“Yeah, well, it takes two. I haven’t exactly been there for you either.”
“No, but you’ve been there for my son as of late. I want to thank you for that. And you at least made an effort to reach out to me these past few years while I’ve alienated you. I’m the one responsible for our relationship turning sour. But I’m not hiding anymore, and I want to do better.”
At a loss, I nodded and bit my lip.
“So, you don’t want to tell me what’s going on with you?” he prodded.
Tanner’s seemingly genuine interest in wanting to help me with my “problem” was like salt in my guilty wound. What had been so clear to me yesterday seemed like an impossibility now. Had I been crazy for thinking I could start a life with Presley with no serious repercussions?
“I’m a little lost right now,” I finally said. “I thought I loved my life until I came back here and realized everything that was missing from it. You could say I’m working things out in the same way you seem to be trying to.”
My brother nodded. “Maybe all of this is just a reflection of us getting older,” he said. “You start to see things more clearly, including the mistakes you’ve made. I’m realizing just how much being stuck in my own head has cost me. But I’m determined to get it all back, Levi. Not only my son’s trust, but Presley’s too. I love that woman. Never stopped. I just didn’t know how to be the man she deserved. I truly feel like I’ve changed, that I’m ready to be that man.”
Pain shot through my neck, and I rubbed the back of it. There it was—confirmation of my worst fear. I couldn’t manage to conjure up a response to that. Instead, I changed the subject, my head spinning.
“What time is your appointment?”
He looked down at his phone. “Shit. I actually have to hurry up.” He headed toward the door but turned around one last time. “I’m not done with this conversation, okay?” He pointed at me. “You and me, we’re gonna talk later tonight and figure out our shit—together.” He patted his chest and winked. “Miller strong.”
I forced a smile before he disappeared down the hall. Grabbing my pillow, I placed it over my face as I fell back on the bed. My heart pounded as I breathed into the fabric.
Presley was right. Telling him would be a huge mistake. My brother had definitely fucked up in his lifetime. But he didn’t deserve to hear that I’d moved in on his family while he wasn’t looking. He didn’t deserve that at all.
I didn’t know what to do. I seemed to be waking up from the stupor I’d been in and doubting for the first time whether I could betray him, no matter how much I loved Presley. At the same time, losing her was unimaginable.
I couldn’t remember wanting anything in my life as much as I wanted her—not only her, but a life with her. It wasn’t only about me or what I wanted, though, was it? We had Alex to think about—and honestly, Tanner. He might not have deserved her, but he was still my brother, and I owed him loyalty. It was easier to discount that fact when I thought he didn’t care. But now that I knew he apparently did, that he wanted to be a better man—it was a game changer.
My phone chimed, interrupting my thoughts.
I looked down to find a text from Presley. My chest tightened.
Presley: Tanner left the house. Can you come to my room?
I had no idea whether she just wanted to talk or whether she was looking for something else. But as much as I wanted to be with her right now, I wasn’t ready to face her until I better understood what the realization I’d had today meant for us. I couldn’t risk getting any deeper into things if I was only going to walk away—even if leaving was the last thing I wanted.
It caused me literal pain to type the words.
Levi: I have a busy day today. I can’t. I’m sorry.
CHAPTER 22
* * *
Presley
I couldn’t tell you how many times I’d read over Levi’s text, trying to decipher the true meaning.
He was busy? That was the biggest crock of shit. And Levi had never been one to shy away from talking, so I couldn’t understand why he’d blown me off. This had me feeling a bit panicked. I didn’t care how busy he claimed to be; you can always make time for things that matter.
I’d dropped Alex off at a friend’s house, so I was alone, aside from the fact that Fern was somewhere in the house.
Deciding to paint an accent wall in one of the bedrooms, I ruminated as I kept going over the same spots unnecessarily—my mind just wasn’t in it today.
At one point, Tanner appeared at the doorway, dressed to the nines. I knew about his job interview but hadn’t spoken to him before he left this morning.
I put down my brush. “Hey.”
“Hi.”
“How did your interview go?”
“It went well.” He smiled. “They’re going to let me know by the end of the week. I think they have to interview a couple more people.”
I hadn’t known what to think when Tanner announced he was going for that coaching job. While I certainly wanted him to live closer to his son, it had felt hard to breathe with him around lately.
“That’s great,” I said, finding it difficult to form a smile.
He cocked his head. “You don’t sound that enthused.”
“Things are just getting down to the wire with these renovations,” I lied. “I’m feeling the pressure.”
“So, you’re good with the prospect of me staying in Beaufort, then?”
“I’m a
lways good with what’s best for Alex. He deserves to have his father in his life.”
“Fingers crossed this works out. I have a good feeling.” He paused. “I have nothing going on the rest of the afternoon. Let me help you paint.”
“No, that’s really not necessary.”
“I insist. Gonna go get out of these clothes real quick.” He took off down the hall.
Shit.
Tanner returned a few minutes later, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. His muscles were noticeably larger than I remembered.
He spent the rest of the afternoon painting alongside me. After we finished, I ended up showing him some of the old photos I’d found in the house, and that led to reminiscing about the old days.
At one point, Fern peeked her head in on her way down the hallway and flashed a snide grin. She was enjoying this soap opera a little too much.
Tanner followed me to the kitchen and lifted a bottle of wine off the rack.
“How about we take this out back to celebrate a job well done? It’s just about five o’clock anyway.”
Before answering, I checked my phone for the umpteenth time. Once again, nothing from Levi.
What the hell? I could definitely use a little wine to numb this anxiety.
I shrugged. “Sure. I could go for some wine.”
Tanner grabbed the bottle of red along with two glasses from the cabinet. We sat out on the porch, and I watched as he poured one for each of us.
As he handed me a glass, he said, “I’m wondering if now would be a good time to have that talk I’ve been wanting to have with you.”
I should’ve known there was an ulterior motive. I took a long sip. “I’m not going anywhere, so it’s just as good a time as any.”
“Good.” He set his glass down and wiped his palms on his pants. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”
His eyes reflected a rare vulnerability that I only remembered seeing in the early days of our relationship, before the injury changed him.
I stayed quiet as he started talking.