by Keeland, Vi
“There’s only one of those this season, and we usually just replace game day with extra practices.”
She frowned. “How do…people do it?”
“The majority of guys move their family to the state their home team is in—so they can at least come home at night. The rest just fly their girlfriends in from time to time.”
Presley was quiet for a long time. I had no idea where her head was, what she expected or wanted to do once I had to leave. Eventually she turned to face me.
“Alex will be starting school a few days after you leave.” She shook her head. “He’s just planting roots—”
For a second or two, I wasn’t sure why she’d trailed off. But then the light flipped on, and I realized she’d seen Tanner coming.
“Why were you guys standing here in the dark?” he said.
Presley opened her mouth, but nothing came out. So I intervened. “I woke up with a headache. Light makes it worse.”
Tanner looked between us. His eyes squinted slightly, as if he might not believe me. But eventually he nodded and flipped the switch back off. When he walked over to pour his coffee, he wedged his body right between us. I had to take a few steps back so we weren’t on top of one another.
He lifted his chin to me. “Got a second interview for that football-coaching job today.”
“You did?” Presley asked.
Tanner nodded. “Yup. They narrowed it down to me and one other guy. Said they’ll have their decision by the end of the week.”
Presley’s forehead wrinkled. “Well, good luck.”
“Yeah,” I tilted my coffee mug toward him. “Knock ’em dead.” I pushed off the counter. “I’m gonna hit the shower. I have shit to do today.”
My eyes caught Presley’s, and I nodded before heading back to my room. It made me crazy to walk away and leave the two of them alone in the kitchen. So how the hell was I going to survive walking away completely in two weeks?
***
I’d had an unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach all morning, since my conversation with Presley in the kitchen. So after I went to the eye doctor and worked out with my trainer, I decided to stop up at Alex’s peewee football practice. Presley was sitting in the bleachers with a bunch of women I’d never met.
“Oh my God,” one said. “You’re Levi Miller—the quarterback.”
I offered my standard-issue smile and nodded. “I am. Good to meet you.”
“Will you be here for long? My son is your biggest fan. Practice will be over in about twenty minutes, and he would absolutely die if he knew you were here and he didn’t get to meet you.”
I exchanged glances with Presley. “Well, we wouldn’t want that to happen. Sure, I’m gonna watch practice for a while anyway. Which one is your son?”
“He’s a running back. Number forty-four.”
“I’ll keep my eye on him and see if I can give him any pointers when practice ends.” I looked at Presley and nodded toward the team. “I’m going to walk down to the other end of the field where the kids are to get a closer look.”
She stood. “I’ll come.”
I heard all of the women whispering as we walked from the bleachers. One said something about my ass.
I shook my head. “And they say men are bad.”
Presley smiled. “Can you really crack a walnut with your ass cheeks? I’d like to see it, if you can.”
I chuckled. “Is that what she just said?”
“It is, indeed.”
“Well, I’ve never tried. But I’m game to give it a shot if you’re into that sort of thing.”
We both laughed, and the tension I’d felt since the kitchen this morning waned for the first time. But that fleeting moment of calm was abruptly interrupted by a harrowing scream. Alex’s scream. When you play a sport where more than half the guys are usually operating with some sort of an injury, you get to be an expert at reading the level of pain from only a yelp. And this one…was not good. The opening to get onto the field was still another twenty yards away, so I hopped the fence and ran to where Alex was lying on the ground. Two coaches hovered over him.
“My ankle. My ankle.” He rolled to his side.
I knelt down. “Don’t try to move it, buddy.”
“Uncle Levi, it hurts.”
One of the coaches looked up at me. “Holy shit. You’re Levi Miller.”
I ignored him. “Tell me what the pain feels like, Alex.”
“It’s sharp—and shooting up my leg.”
His little ankle was also starting to bruise and swell. Not a good sign.
Presley made her way over. “Are you okay?”
“I think we should run him to the hospital to be on the safe side.”
She nodded. “Okay. Yeah, let’s do that.”
One of the coaches stood and thumbed toward the parking lot. “You want me to grab the wheelchair? I keep one in the back of the van, just in case.”
I scooped Alex from the grass, careful not to touch his ankle. “No need. I got it.”
My truck had more legroom than Presley’s little car, so we drove to the emergency room in it and left hers at the field. She bit her nail as we got on the highway.
“I forgot how nerve-wracking having someone you love play football could be.”
“He’s going to be fine.”
She blew out a deep breath and nodded.
Once we arrived at the hospital, they took Alex into triage with Presley, and I paced in the waiting room. She came out five minutes later.
“They aren’t too busy, so they took him right in the back to have him examined,” she said. “Only one person is allowed in at a time, so I wanted to let you know. I’ll come out when I know something.”
I nodded and kissed her forehead. “Okay. Good luck.”
An hour or so later, I was fiddling with my phone, trying to keep myself occupied, when I heard a familiar voice.
“I’m looking for Alex Miller.”
“And you are?”
“His father.”
“He’s in the back with his mother. Give me a minute, and I’ll go see if I can get you an update. There’s only one person allowed with each patient.”
“Okay, thank you.”
My brother walked to the waiting area where I was seated. He stopped short when he saw me. His forehead wrinkled. “What are you doing here?”
“I was passing by the school on my way home from the eye doctor and saw the boys practicing, so I stopped to check it out.”
“You were there when it happened?”
“Yeah. It sounded like it could be a break.”
My brother ran a hand through his hair. “Shit.”
“How did you know he was here?”
“Presley called me.”
“Oh.”
I must’ve frowned, because my brother’s eyes roamed my face, and he squinted. “Is that a problem? Should I not be here when my kid is hurt?”
I shook my head. “No…I just meant, I wasn’t even thinking. I should have called you. That’s all.”
My brother nodded, but I wasn’t sure he bought the line of crap I was feeding him.
A few minutes later, a nurse opened the door that led back to the exam area. She yelled, “Miller?”
Without thinking I stood, as did my brother. He looked at me funny.
“Oh, sorry. I’m sure they meant you.”
I sat down as the nurse walked over. “You’re Alex’s father?”
“I am. Tanner Miller.”
“Your son is doing fine. He just got back from X-ray, and we’re waiting for an orthopedic specialist to come down and read the results. But the ER doc on call doesn’t think it’s broken, just a really bad sprain.”
Tanner took a deep breath. “Okay. Great. Can I see him?”
“We usually only let one person in the back with each patient. But it’s a pretty slow day, so I guess I can bend the rules.” She nodded toward the door. “Come on. Follow me.”
My brother didn
’t look back as he followed the nurse. Once I was alone again, I started to feel like I was intruding on a family matter. As much as I wanted to be there for Alex, it was his father’s job—not mine—to be by his side. And that really sucked. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to leave. About fifteen minutes passed, and then Presley emerged from the back.
I stood and wiped the sweat from my palms on my pants. “How’s he doing?”
“The orthopedist just came in. Luckily it’s just a bad sprain. They’re going to give him an air cast and some crutches. The doctor said it should heal on its own within a few weeks.”
I nodded and blew out a breath. “Good. How’s his pain?”
“They gave him some Motrin, and it seems to have helped. But he hasn’t tried to put weight on it or anything yet.”
“Okay. Well, he’s going to be sore. That’s normal.”
Presley looked down. “I’m sorry if it was awkward when Tanner came in. I called to let him know what happened, but I didn’t get a chance to mention you were here because they came to take Alex to X-ray while I was on the phone.”
“It’s fine. As long as Alex is okay.”
A few awkward seconds passed. I cleared my throat. “I should get going. I have to…do some things anyway.”
“Oh, okay.”
I hated to leave them, but it wasn’t my place to be here any longer. Shoving my hands into my pockets, I forced a smile. “I’ll see you later.”
She nodded. “Okay.”
Every step I took as I left that emergency room felt heavier and heavier. I’d made it almost all the way to my truck when Presley yelled my name from the door. I turned, and she ran over.
“I’m sorry. I know you must be feeling really weird right now. I just wanted to say I would rather have you in there by my side than Tanner.”
She had enough shit to worry about. I didn’t want to make matters worse by pouring on guilt. Besides, I might want to be by her side, but it wasn’t my place. It was Tanner’s. To reassure her I was fine, I pulled her in for a hug.
“It’s fine. Don’t think about it for a second. We’re good.”
She looked up at me for reassurance, and I smiled and brushed a wayward hair from her cheek. “Really.”
Relief washed over her worried face. “Okay. Thank you.”
I leaned down and kissed her forehead, then tapped her nose with my pointer finger and smiled. “Take a few deep breaths. I’ll see you in a little while at home. Everything is going to be fine.”
But no sooner than I’d said the words, I began wondering if they were true. Because when I looked up, I saw a man watching us from the door.
Tanner.
CHAPTER 25
* * *
Levi
Tanner hadn’t reacted after he spotted me comforting Presley, and neither had I. Presley didn’t need another thing to worry about, so I kept what I’d seen to myself, and after a moment, Tanner had simply turned back around.
I had no clue what he’d actually seen. Was he clueless or just turning a blind eye?
I took a deep breath as Presley went back inside the hospital, and I’d just gotten into my truck when I realized I’d left my hat on the chair in the waiting room.
I went back in to get it and spotted Presley, Tanner, and Alex as they spoke to a nurse just outside the door that led to the examination area. Thankfully their backs were to me, so they couldn’t see me spying from this angle.
Tanner rubbed Alex’s back while Presley spoke to the nurse. They looked every bit like the family they essentially still were, despite me trying to deny it—the family whose chance at any kind of a future I was slowly destroying behind my brother’s back.
My mother’s voice from behind me interrupted my thoughts.
“How’s my boy?”
I turned around. “He’s fine. It’s just a sprain.”
“Yeah. I know. Poor Alex. Tanner called when I was already on my way here to let me know it wasn’t broken.” She placed her hand on my arm. “I was referring to my big boy, though. How are you holding up?”
I let out a long breath. “I’ve been better.”
She nodded. “I can’t imagine this situation is getting any easier for you.”
I turned back around and looked at them for a bit. “Look how happy Alex seems, to have his dad by his side. I can’t compete with that. I’ll never be able to.” Looking down at my shoes, I admitted, “Tanner fucking saw me hugging her earlier.”
My mother’s eyes widened. “You think he suspects it was more than platonic?”
“No.” I shook my head. “That’s the thing. I don’t think he’d ever imagine I’m capable of something like that. He thinks I’ve been a good, stand-up guy looking after them while he was away, and maybe Presley and I got closer because of that. It probably looked like I was just comforting her—at least, I hope. But it was still unnerving.”
“This whole thing is unnerving.” She sighed. “You’re leaving soon. I’m sure you don’t feel ready.”
“Not in the least.”
My mother gestured toward the exit. “Let’s go for a walk. I want to tell you something I’ve never told you before.”
That sparked my curiosity. I fell into step alongside her. “What’s up?”
“It’s actually about your father. Something you don’t know.”
“I don’t know if I like where this is going.”
She exhaled as we exited the automatic doors. “By the time he and I separated, both of you boys were out of the house, so you missed some things that happened—well, one particular thing I never wanted you to know about.”
My pulse sped up. “What do you mean?”
“I mean the exact circumstances surrounding the end of your father’s and my relationship.”
“Okay…”
“He and I apparently had different ideas about what the separation meant for us. When we first agreed to it, I was under the impression that even though we were no longer living together, we would remain faithful to each other.” She paused. “But your father met someone during that time.”
I nodded silently. My stomach felt sick to think about my father with any other woman. Though I’d assumed he dated after their divorce, I’d always tried to block it out of my mind.
“I’d thought the separation was temporary, that we would somehow find our way back to one another,” my mom continued. “I figured we just needed some time away to repair things and hoped the end goal would be a stronger marriage. Your father took the separation as a ticket to entertain his midlife crisis.”
“Shit,” I muttered as I began to wonder what my mother’s point was in telling me all of this now.
“Anyway…” she said. “I couldn’t get past it. He dated this woman for a while, and then when things ended between them, he tried to mend things with me. He kept using the excuse that we were separated at the time. But I couldn’t get past what I saw as a betrayal. So, I told him not only did I want to remain separated, but I wanted a divorce.”
The situation she’d described was far from the way I’d imagined my parents’ marriage ending. I’d always thought it was a mutual decision that hadn’t involved other people—they’d just grown apart.
“So you never really wanted a divorce…” I said. “If he hadn’t been with someone else, you would’ve tried to work things out?”
“I loved your father. But I was just…so deeply hurt.”
Damn. This was all news to me. “Wow, Mom.”
She stopped walking for a moment and faced me. “After fighting me on it for some time, he finally gave in to my wishes for a divorce. But the truth was, neither of us truly fell out of love with the other.”
A memory of my parents kissing in our kitchen when I was a kid flashed through my mind. I always thought it was gross and ran out of the room. But knowing they were still in love after all that time gave me some comfort.
“This sort of gives me some solace,” I said. “Even though it’s bittersweet.”
/> She flashed a sad smile. “When Dad was dying, he told me his biggest regret was ever straying from me. I did believe he regretted entering into a relationship with that woman. Even though I’d been firm in my decision not to take him back, he felt like he hadn’t fought hard enough for us—that he could’ve done more to stop the divorce. Our dream had always been to retire and ride off into the sunset together. Our actual ending was certainly nothing either of us anticipated.”
“It breaks my heart that you guys couldn’t do that.”
Mom’s eyes glistened. “It breaks my heart too—that your father died with so much regret and that I played a role in that. If I’d known he was going to get sick and die of cancer a year later, I might’ve been more forgiving. You think you have endless time to work certain things out in life, but time is one thing that’s never guaranteed.”
I still wasn’t sure why she’d chosen to tell me all of this. “Something tells me you’re making a bigger point here than confessing the truth about you and Dad.”
“What happened with Dad and me reminds me a lot of what’s going on with Tanner and Presley. Your brother made some poor decisions, and now he’s trying to rectify them. He has a chance to do something Dad never could.”
Shit. Of course that’s what she was getting at—more evidence supporting the fact that I was the bad guy in all of this, preventing my brother from getting his family back. I knew letting him try was the right thing to do. That was never in question. It was the feeling that I physically couldn’t stay away from Presley that made doing the right thing seem impossible.
“I’m not minimizing the feelings you’ve developed for Presley,” my mother said. “But I think you need to look at the bigger picture here. Your career is not going to allow for a sustainable relationship with her anyway. And Tanner doesn’t look like he’s going to give up on getting his family back anytime soon—what with going for that coaching job here and all. But you also have to think about Presley, about the regret she may feel when this honeymoon phase between you and her is over. You two had a summer together. Tanner and she have years of history—and a child.”
Yeah, Mother. Tell me something I don’t already know.