by Keeland, Vi
For a moment, as I closed my eyes, I imagined it was Levi touching me. My body stirred before I snapped out of my trance and pulled away.
Letting out a breath, I said, “Thank you.”
I swiftly exited the kitchen—and ran into a smirking Fern in the hallway.
“Feeling refreshed?” she cracked.
Great. I could only imagine what that had looked like in the kitchen. But I couldn’t be concerned with her assumptions right now.
I walked right past her, went straight to my room, and shut the door before lying down on the bed. My body buzzed from the massage—not because it had been Tanner’s hands on me, but because being touched reminded me of everything I still longed for.
I miss Levi. I missed the way Levi looked at me, the way he made me feel, how happy I was with him. I had no idea how I was supposed to just forget all of that and move on with my life.
Rubbing my temples, I started to sweat. I rubbed my legs against the smooth sheets in frustration. I snatched my phone from the nightstand and scrolled through my contacts.
My finger lingered over Levi’s name as I debated texting him.
What would I even say? Admitting how much I missed him or that I was thinking about him wasn’t going to make either of our lives easier. It would serve no purpose. I tossed the phone and buried my head in a pillow, hoping the moment would pass. And eventually it did. Rather than give in to my need for contact with Levi, I escaped to the shower and began getting ready for tonight.
***
A couple of hours later, I was downstairs, dressed in a floor-length, purple dress as people arrived for the celebration.
Tanner and Alex wore matching navy suits, and even Fern had changed out of her usual house dress into a fancy outfit. She’d finished off the look with a gargantuan hat adorned with flowers.
I made my way around, schmoozing with the guests and answering questions from local reporters.
It was hard to talk about the renovation process without acknowledging Levi, so I gave him credit where it was due. More than one person asked why he wasn’t at the party, and I explained with a bitter taste in my mouth that he was back in Colorado for work. Perhaps the most bittersweet fact about this entire shindig was that Levi had arranged the whole thing. Back when things were better between us, he’d made all of the party arrangements—from the invite list down to picking the menu.
By the time everyone left, I was utterly exhausted from having to be “on” so many hours in a row as The Palm Inn’s official spokesperson. And I hadn’t eaten a morsel of the food Levi paid for.
The kitchen was finally quiet when I opened the refrigerator to see what was left. Staring me in the face was a tray of peach cobbler. Levi had requested that particular dessert for a reason, and at the time, it was likely not meant to hurt me.
I took the tray out and grabbed a fork, knowing damn well tonight would be yet another evening consumed by thoughts of Levi Miller.
CHAPTER 28
* * *
Presley
Two weeks later, The Palm Inn was officially open for business, and the first guests had checked in. Not only that, we were sold out for two months—until early October. Everything was great, aside from the fact that I was exhausted.
This endeavor was entirely too much for one person. Tanner had started his new coaching job, and was still doing the agent stuff on the side, so he couldn’t help me as much anymore. And I’d started the art teacher position at the local high school, which ate up a good chunk of my time.
Tanner had just dropped Alex off at school when he returned to join me for coffee before work.
“You look totally stressed. Did something happen with one of the guests?” he asked as he poured himself a mug.
“No, it’s nothing bad. I’m just realizing I need help. We’re booked solid for over eight weeks. Preparing breakfast each day is enough work. And now that I’ve started teaching, I don’t think I can handle all the cleaning and turning around the rooms—not to mention the laundry. I know I should’ve foreseen this, but it’s harder than I imagined.”
He put his mug down. “Say no more. After I deal with some client stuff this morning, I’ll line someone up to come in and clean.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I want to. And I’ll pay for it. Aside from buying food here and there, I’ve been living at this place rent-free, and that’s not really fair. I know I’m still behind on what I owe you, but count on me to handle the cleaning costs and also to start covering more of the other expenses around here.”
It was nice to have his support, but I couldn’t help feeling like this was another attempt to become a fixture in our lives again. But I certainly wasn’t going to turn him down if he wanted to contribute.
After Tanner went upstairs to work, I did something I almost never do. I took my coffee into the living room and turned on the TV. I wasn’t a big television watcher, most of the time preferring to read. But I had a little time before I had to report to school to teach my first art class for the day.
For about ten minutes, I watched the Today show, and during a commercial, I flipped through the channels.
Normally, I’d blow right by ESPN, except the familiar face on the screen caused me to freeze. Levi’s big blue eyes were fixed on the female reporter.
I swallowed the lump in my throat as he spoke.
The beautiful blond had asked him his opinion on a new player who’d been transferred to the Broncos for the upcoming season.
Levi scratched his chin. “Everyone’s welcomed him with open arms. It’s been fun getting into a groove and being back at camp. The team is stronger than ever, and I’m excited for the season to start.”
She continued to ask him questions with a twinkle in her eye. She seemed to be flirting. My stomach sank, and I changed the channel. I couldn’t take it.
If I couldn’t handle a reporter flirting with him, how would I have ever dealt with all of the rest of the women throwing themselves at him, day in and day out?
***
Two more weeks passed, and things felt more under control at The Palm Inn now that I had regular help. Tanner had hired a friend of Fern’s to come in for housekeeping a few days a week, so I no longer had to bear the brunt of that.
Handling the breakfast end of things was also much easier now that I had less on my plate. I didn’t have to start my art teaching job until 11AM, so that allowed me plenty of time to prepare coffee and food for our guests. And sometimes, when I was running late, Tanner would step in and take over for me if he didn’t have to report to his coaching job. Alex was also settled into the new school year, and I couldn’t have asked for anything more right now on the home front.
The only problem was the lingering longing inside of me for a man I couldn’t have. The same man whose brother seemed to be doing everything humanly possible to earn another chance.
Speaking of Tanner, I’d finally decided to give in to one of his many requests to spend time outside of the house together. He’d convinced me I deserved a night out and promised not to assume it was a date if I just agreed.
So, one evening, the two of us dropped Alex off at Tanner’s mother’s house before meeting Lily and Tom Hannaford at one of my favorite Italian restaurants, Carducci’s. Lily and Tom were one of the few couples we’d gone to high school with who were still together. We’d often gone on double dates with them back in the day, so it was definitely like déjà vu to be sitting across from them tonight.
At one point after the waiter took our order, Lily hit me with the dreaded question. “So, what’s going on with you two?” She looked between us. “Please tell me a reconciliation is in the works.”
I’d hoped Tanner, who set up this dinner, had explained things to them so I didn’t have to.
“We’re just friends and co-parents, actually,” I told her.
Tanner placed his hand on my arm. “That’s the plan for now.” He smiled over at me, but I didn’t return it. “I’
m holding out hope that she gives me another chance. I messed up royally in the past, so I’m currently working to earn her trust back. Taking it day by day.”
Lily grinned. “Well, that’s commendable. But what if that never happens?”
Tanner squinted. “What do you mean?”
“What if she can never learn to trust you again?”
He sighed and looked over at me. “Then we’ll always be in each other’s lives, and I’ll always be there for her and Alex—no matter what.”
I took a sip of water and felt the need to clarify my position. “There are some things in life that are best not revisited,” I explained. “I think you can have respect and love for someone and also recognize that you’re better off apart. That’s the case with Tanner and me.”
A frown crossed Tanner’s face.
While it sucked to once again deflate his hope, I needed to continue keeping things real until it eventually sank in for him. He’d clearly misled our friends into thinking this was some kind of double date.
After a few glasses of wine, I managed to finally enjoy myself as the subject moved away from Tanner and me. The four of us reminisced about old times, things like sneaking into movies when we were in high school.
Everything was kosher until Tom brought up the L-word during dessert.
He turned to Tanner. “How’s your brother doing?”
“Good,” Tanner said. “He’s back at training camp, gearing up for the new season.”
“I heard the Broncos snagged Chip Reid. That was a huge acquisition.”
Tanner nodded. “Yeah. Should be an interesting season.”
Tom chuckled. “God, Levi must be living the life. I can only imagine how much ass that guy gets.”
My wine felt like it was coming back up as a surge of jealousy hit. It wasn’t like he’d said anything I didn’t already know, but it sucked to hear. It also sucked that it had such a profound effect on me. But I was no less in love with Levi now than the day he left. In light of that, the way Tom’s comment made me burn up was normal. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead as I downed the last of my wine.
Lily tilted her head as she looked straight at me, seeming to examine my face. “Wasn’t he here in town for a while?”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah. He was a big help when we were starting the renovations at The Palm Inn.”
“I’m totally indebted to him for being here until I got my shit together,” Tanner added.
Lily looked at me again. “Was he living there at The Palm with you before Tanner arrived?”
Feeling my cheeks heat, I nodded. “Yes.”
“Interesting. Had you ever spent extensive time together before?”
“No, it was my first time really getting to know him.”
“I see.” She smirked slightly.
And that’s when I knew. She had noticed my reaction and put two and two together. Somehow, from the look on my face alone, Lily had figured out what Tanner had yet to—that something had gone down between me and his brother.
How on Earth was I going to hide my feelings for Levi from Tanner forever if this chick had figured it out in a matter of minutes?
CHAPTER 29
* * *
Levi
Coach Williams had asked me to come to his house immediately after camp.
He was quiet as he let me in the front door. I followed him to the kitchen, suspecting he wanted to ream me out for my less-than-stellar performance on the field today.
His wife was arranging a massive bouquet of flowers when we walked in. Kristen was a sweetheart and always treated me like family. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and saw Coach give her a look before she suddenly made herself scarce. I was about to get my ass handed to me, and he wanted to do it in private.
Sure enough, after he passed me a beer, he took a seat and laid it on me. “What’s going on with you?”
I pulled out a chair and sat down. “I’m sorry. I know.”
“You missed an open receiver downfield. It’s not the first time that’s happened lately either. You’d better get your head out of your ass before the season starts.”
I’d learned the hard way over the years that anytime I tried to hide something from him, he always figured it out eventually. Seeing as though he’d become like a father to me, I felt comfortable admitting the truth. He deserved that, especially when my actions would be affecting his bottom line.
“Some stuff went down back home, and I haven’t been able to shake it.”
He lifted his brow. “What stuff? Is this about the property?”
“I wish.”
“If it ain’t that, there’s only one other thing I can think of that could be fucking you up so bad.” He took a sip. “What’s her name?”
I exhaled. “Presley.”
“Isn’t that the woman you were fighting about the house with?”
“Yes,” I bit out.
His head tilted as he began to figure it out. “Your brother’s…”
“Yes,” I answered under my breath.
“Aw, shit.” He shook his head and took a long gulp of beer.
Over the next several minutes, I told him everything and ended with Tanner showing up. “I know what you’re gonna say, Coach—”
He held out his hand. “Not so fast. You think I’m gonna tell you to forget about it and get your shit together, but I know it’s not as easy as it sounds when a woman is fucking with your head.”
I pulled on my hair. “What’s the solution, then?”
“Well, it certainly isn’t continuing to mess around with your brother’s woman…” He chuckled.
“Ex woman,” I clarified.
“Either way, it’s fucked up, and you need to move on from it. But what this proves is that you’re needing companionship. Maybe you’ve outgrown the bachelor life. There comes a time when every man needs a good lady to come home to. Probably the only thing that will get your mind off a woman you can’t have is to find a better one and claim her for yourself.”
My first thought was: there isn’t a better one. I knew it. Presley was the best. This wasn’t about needing a replacement for her. While I appreciated his advice, I knew I wouldn’t take it. I had no interest in starting a relationship that would feel forced with anyone else. What had happened between Presley and me felt natural. It was organic. She felt like home to me, and that couldn’t be replicated. I’d rather be alone than try.
“I appreciate your advice. But that’s not something I’m interested in right now.”
“Okay, then on to Plan B.” He slammed his beer on the table.
“What’s that?”
“I take you out back and whip your ass into shape. Because we can’t have this shit continuing into the season!”
I bent my head back in frustration and rubbed my eyes. “I promise I’ll work it out, okay? I won’t let you down.”
***
Although it had felt good to unload on Coach, I was still in a pissy mood when I returned to my house that night. My place seemed cold and empty compared to being back home with Presley. I hadn’t realized just how bad it was until I got back here. I had expensive things, but it wasn’t a house that made a home. It was the people in it, and here in Colorado, my home life was nonexistent.
Talking about Presley today had messed with my head. I’d been trying to forget, but the more effort I put into that, the more it seemed to screw with my game. Actually speaking about the situation aloud made me feel even worse about how I’d left things with her.
I’d had multiple opportunities to drown my sorrows in other women, but I had no desire to go there. It would be disloyal to Presley, and more surprisingly, I had no desire for sex with anyone else. I wasn’t ready to move on, even if I’d tried to encourage Presley to do just that. Instead, I’d close my eyes at night and imagine her smell, her taste, lying next to her, holding her. Then I’d get sick to my stomach imagining Tanner doing the same.
It didn’t matter that I was a grown-ass man.
When you’re feeling this low, there’s only one person who has a chance at making it better.
Taking out my phone, I scrolled down to her name.
After a few rings, she picked up.
“Levi?”
“Hey, Ma. What’s been going on?”
“It’s so good to hear your voice.”
“You too.”
“You sound tired.”
Another way of saying I sounded like shit. “Yeah, it’s been hectic at practice. How are things at home?”
“Well, I’ve currently got your nephew here.”
“Yeah?” I smiled. “Put him on.”
“Okay. Hang on.”
My mother called Alex to the phone, and I could hear him running toward it.
“Uncle Levi!”
The sound of his voice went straight to my heart.
“Hey, buddy. What’s going on?”
“Nothing much. Hanging out with Grandma. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.” I shut my eyes. “Believe me.”
“Did you know I was here at Grandma’s? Is that why you called?”
“No. I didn’t know, actually. But it’s a nice surprise. How’s school?”
“It’s okay. My friends still ask about you. They say hello.”
“Well, tell them I said hey too.”
“I wish you were here. We could play Trouble.”
“I would much rather be there playing Trouble with you right now than here.”
“Grandma always lets me win. It’s no fun. I bet you would try to beat me.”
“You’re probably right.” I braced myself. “Where’s your mom tonight?”
“She’s out on a date with Dad.”
His words were a swift kick to the gut. My heart raced.
I hadn’t realized I’d fallen silent until he said, “Are you there?”