Mary-Margaret disproved that theory. She kept me out of the darkness and helped me grow. She taught me that pursuing happiness is like trying to find a hiding spot in a house of glass. She taught me to be happy with who I was, what I had, and the people I had around me. Mary taught me that I'll never know when I might lose everything. And considering how I lost Maddie, she was right.
In August, we were back from Budapest for the mid-summer break. I couldn't sleep. Mary-Margaret was fast asleep in bed. She always grabbed for me when I got out of bed in the middle of the night. I did the same on that night as I would any night, I kissed her on the forehead, gave her hair a couple strokes, and told her I loved her.
“Go back to sleep, my beauty. I'll return shortly.” I exited the bedroom and went out to the living room of the Beach House. I saw a light on in the entrance hall. I gravitated towards it. There she was. Maddie was standing there in a stunning white wedding dress.
“Maddie.”
“Hi Ryan.”
“What're you doing back here again?”
“It's time to say goodbye, Ryan. For good.” Silence. I approached her. With my left hand, I took her hand. With my right, I pulled her closer by the back. We danced.
“It's a beautiful dress, Maddie.”
“This was going to be my wedding dress,” she said. It felt like a knife to the heart.
“Why would you say that? Why does this have to be goodbye?”
“Because, Ryan. You owe it to Mary-Margaret. You have to leave me behind or it will ruin the two of you.”
“She said she understands. She said she gets what I'm going through,” I pleaded.
“Sweetie, you know that's not true. You know this is killing her. You know she can't get it out of her mind, that you asked me to marry you first. She blames herself, Ryan. She blames herself for not holding onto you, for not trying harder.” I looked into Maddie's emerald green eyes one last time. I knew our time was growing very short.
“I love you, Maddie.”
“I love you, Ryan.”
I gently placed my hands under her jaw at the top of her neck and kissed her. When I opened my eyes, Maddie was gone. And she was never coming back again. I dropped my hands to my sides and stared at the wall ahead of me.
Mary-Margaret entered the room behind me. “Is it Maddie again?”
“Yes,” I said. I could feel her shoulders sag in disappointment even though she was standing ten feet away.
“What did she say?”
I took a moment to answer. “She said goodbye.” I started crying. Mary-Margaret approached me, wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her head on my back.
“Is there anything I can do?” she asked. I led her over to the staircase and we sat.
“I don't think there's anything anyone can do. It's just time for me to let it go.”
“You shouldn't let the good thoughts go. You two have great memories. There's nothing wrong with keeping those,” she replied. It still felt like my only choice was to let Maddie completely go. “Tell me about her.”
I was stunned. I didn't know what to say. Did she really want to know? Was this her way of helping me move past Maddie? Either way, she expected a response. And Mary-Margaret tends to get what she wants.
I told her everything. We laughed. We cried. I couldn't believe how much she loved the story. “That would make quite a movie. I think you should write it,” she told me. By the time I was finished, the sun had come up. We had been sitting there for almost six hours.
“And then I saw you standing at the bottom of the staircase. I couldn't help but feel some comfort in seeing your beautiful face again.”
“Well, my beautiful face won't be leaving you ever again. I'm here for good now. Don't you forget it,” she said as she grazed her nose against mine. I took in a deep breath and sighed. My life, once again, felt as though things had fallen into place.
Two days later, we were in Montana. I dragged Mary-Margaret out of bed early. She seemed quite perturbed with me. It was 8 AM, a beautiful Montana Summer morning. She hadn't a clue why I woke her up early or where we were going. She finally came out to the truck looking sexy as hell. It never mattered what she wore, she always looked great. A simple top with jeans was all she had on, and still she made me pick my chin up off the floormat of my truck.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“You'll see,” I responded. I drove to the middle of the valley. We passed all of the ritzy houses, one by one she watched them go by. We turned onto a private drive off of Durston. There was nothing else but open fields. I could already see what we were driving toward. Mary-Margaret would see it soon enough.
I drove up to the house. Mary-Margaret's jaw dropped much like mine always did every time I looked at her.
“What is this?” she asked.
“You already know what it is,” I said as I got out of the truck. I opened her door for her, her mouth still wide open. If she wasn't so damn beautiful, she'd look like an idiot. “It's your house, Mary-Margaret. From the binder you showed me on our first date. I know it's not in Alabama like you originally wanted...”
“I never actually gave the house a specific place,” she said. She looked at me and continued, “I only specified that it would be a house just for my husband, me, and our family.” I think she still couldn't believe it.
“Your dream home is here, Mary-Margaret. It’s all ours. The guys only get to be here when you say it's okay. Outside of that, you and I are the only ones with keys.”
“Is everything seriously as I drew it?”
“Right down to the walk-in wine cooler in the basement, the sewing room on the second floor, the stream through the back yard, and the chandelier at the entrance,” I told her with a proud smile on my face.
“How did you do this?”
“Well, I taught myself to use a program, designed it on the program, shot it out to an architect, hired the contractors, and it's been in production since Monaco last year. Remember when we were on that balcony and we finally decided to be official again? I made the call right after that.” Mary-Margaret slowly, carefully put her arms around me and hugged me with all her soul. Never before had we hugged like this. It was a grateful hug, a sensitive hug. A hug of complete and utter disbelief.
We approached the deck and she slowed. She ran her finger across the new white paint on the handrail leading up to the wrap around deck. I could see what she saw in her eyes – She was experiencing a dream come true. The desire to touch it, feel it, study it. I was just hoping that I had done her dream right.
We entered the house. It was a large but simple house. Mix a suburban city home with a southern charm, that was Mary-Margaret's House. Quaint, simple, lots of contrasting whites and blacks. As soon as we entered, she almost broke down over the staircase. I had designed it very much like the main staircase from her house in Reece City.
Everything was just as she wanted. Bright mahogany hardwood with clean white walls. The house was so bright, just like her personalty. I followed her around, she checked out everything. The kitchen was traditional, no fancy built-in refrigerators like we had at the mansions. The basement had a huge walk-in wine cellar that I had already stocked with a wide variety for her. The bedroom had what she classified as a princess bed with an antique armoire. In the master bath, an old style tub and a new style stand up. Let me tell you, the thoughts I had about what was going to happen in that shower... Ahem. The master bath was an interesting mix of traditional rural home and modern accents.
The kicker though – She had one room that was unclassified. Technically speaking, an architect would likely consider the room a defect of the design. It was closed off despite being at the front of the house. The only way to get to that room was to walk from the entrance all the way to the back of the house and through the kitchen and dining room. Basically, you had to make a huge loop to get there. She had no notes on that room, so I made it up. It was her library. That room was her hideaway.
“
I can't believe you did this,” Mary-Margaret said, sounding oddly sterile.
“Is it not something you wanted?” I asked, afraid that maybe I'd gone too far with this one.
She quickly turned to me, smiled, and threw her arms around me. “No, no! Of course it is. It's just hard to believe that you did something like this for me,” she said. I could see tears welling up in her eyes. I gave her one of those extended hugs she loved so much. We separated, she wiped another tear away.
“So what are we doing for dinner?” she asked.
“Let's go to the store and find out. Just you and me. What do ya say?”
We went out and got stuff for dinner. Most of the day was spent going through the house. With each room, Mary-Margaret told me the dreams she had about them. There were a couple of those dreams that she and I agreed to make a reality, if you know what I'm getting at.
And then dinner came. I was getting our stuff put away in the master bedroom when I got the call to eat. I headed downstairs and onto the back porch where my beautiful bride to be was wearing this sexy little red dress. She flashed that same stunning smile she always had and welcomed me to the table.
The rest of the year brought countless hours of wedding planning. We had the date, the wedding parties, the location, and several other key things planned. I never realized the insane number of other things that had to be decided on for a wedding. Linens, candles, flowers... It was all nuts.
2010 was a return to normalcy in many ways, but it also brought me many challenges. The biggest challenge was accepting that Maddie was gone and understanding that I could still love her while moving on and being successful with Mary-Margaret. The rest of my days on the planet were to be spent as Mary-Margaret's other half, lesser half if I am to acknowledge her perfection. While being the man at her side could easily be considered a challenge, I chose to see it as a blessing and a true honor.
- 13 -
The Future Together
April 22nd, 2011. Thirteen years since I first met Mary-Margaret. Twelve years since I watched that sweet, girly girl dance around in the Alabama spring rain and fell in love with her. Twelve years since the fateful day that changed the course of my entire life. And I still loved the Alabama spring rain.
There we were, twelve years since falling in love, it was my wedding day and we were back in Reece City. And my best man was fighting with the maid of honor. No freaking joke. Seratti and Ayrton had been going strong for a long time. I so hoped this wasn’t how it ended. Still, I woke up that day and knew it was going to be a great one. Many guys are terrified when they wake up on their wedding day. Many guys look at it as the first day of being in jail for the rest of their lives.
I woke up on that day and knew it was going to be the best day of my life. Finally, I was marrying my Mary-Margaret.
Still, it was impossible to forget everything else that had happened on April 22nd. It was the day of the first race after Bryan died in one of our cars ten years earlier. It was also the day Maddie died two years earlier and the day I saw Maddie again just one year earlier. It was going to be impossible to forget about her on my wedding day.
The guys had thrown a small bachelor party for me the night before at the track. Mary-Margaret and her bridesmaids stayed at her family's house. I have no idea what they did the night before, but knowing Mary-Margaret, wine and board games were involved. The guys brought a bunch of single malt and drank it all themselves. I didn't want to be drinking the night before my wedding, and neither did Mary-Margaret. That girl knew how to have plenty of fun without alcohol, which was one of the many reasons why I loved her.
By 9AM, we had all gotten to Reece City and were in our wing of the house preparing. The ceremony was to be held at that same intersection where I first told Mary-Margaret that I loved her. There was no Alabama spring rain on this day, just beautiful sunshine.
I was in my dressing room getting ready. Mary-Margaret wanted me to look good... And I'd like to think I pulled that off. She loved seeing me in a suit, so I had only my finest on. Had a brand new one tailored for our wedding. Ayrton knocked, he and Yusuf entered without being welcomed, as usual.
“You ready for this?” Ayrton asked.
“Been ready for this my entire life,” I responded.
Yusuf held up a finger and interjected, “Look bro, I saw a picture out there of her parents, and man I gotta say it... There are times, ya know, ya look at the daughter, and it's like DAMN. She's a ten. And then you look at her mom. And then her dad. And it's like... You're kiddin', right? She had to'a been adopted. No way ya'll two made that piece of perfection. Dude better check up on his wife, she prolly been cheatin'. Thaz some trifilin' bull shit right there. Jerry Springer shit.”
Ayrton and I both laughed at Yusuf's crazy concept. Yusuf ducked out to check on the rest of the wedding party. Ayrton took out his flask, top shelf single malt in it as always. Is it obvious yet that the team had a thing for single malt scotch whiskey? We even subscribed to Whiskey Advocate. He held it up to me.
“Nah man. If there was ever a day I want to be completely sober, this would be it,” I told him. He already knew it though. He was screwing the cap back on the flask before I even responded.
“It's great to see you and Mary-Margaret come this far, man. Seriously, I'm happy for you. You got what you've always deserved. The perfect woman who loves all of you. But you're thinking about Maddie, aren't you?”
“She has crossed my mind. So has Diana,” I told him as I sat down.
“Maddie is here with you, man. She would have loved to see you marry your perfect girl. Outside of Mary-Margaret, I've never met anyone who wanted your happiness more than Maddie. That girl was the second best thing that's ever happened to you,” he said with a smirk.
“Let me guess, you are number one?”
“Pff, of course!”
“Not Mary-Margaret. You know, the woman I'm marrying today.”
“Not a cold chance in hell!”
“You are so full of shit,” I said as Seratti came in. I'm not going to lie, she looked majestic. Ayrton and I were both stunned at the sight of her.
“What, do I have something in my teeth?” she asked.
“Only the remnants of my --”
“Ayrton, shut up,” I interrupted knowing he was about to say something completely inappropriate that would probably only piss her off more.
“I see somebody's never going to grow up,” Seratti said.
“Oh, you mean like someone who freaks out and runs away once the man of her dreams opens completely up and gives her a fair shot?” Ayrton fired back. Shit. This was escalating quickly.
“As if I didn't give you enough fair shots to mess up anytime you felt like.”
“At least my issues were resolvable, you ran away like a scared little --”
“Damnit! Would both of you stop this?” I interjected. “Look, this is my wedding day. Whether you two like it or not, you are two of my best friends and two of Mary-Margaret's best friends. You need to work this out right now, or else I'm making sure neither of you ends up on that gazebo with us.”
The looks I got from the two of them were pretty solid. Half pissed off, half surprised that I would interject, and all impressed that I would ever give it to them like that.
“Did you just say something?” Ayrton sarcastically asked. Asshole.
“Ayrton, he's right. We need to figure this out. We don't just owe it to Ryan and Mary-Margaret. We owe it to each other,” Seratti said.
“I'll let you two figure this out,” I said as I stood up and straightened my tie one last time. “I have to go prepare to marry the love of my life. Hopefully, some day you two will do the same.” I exited. To this day, I still don't know what was said behind those doors between the two of them. But at least they came out and were in love with each other. Oh yeah, and they totally had sex in that room after making up.
The next two hours were a nonstop blur of people telling me what to do and Ayrton telling them to buzz of
f. It wasn't exactly a small wedding. Mary-Margaret knew a lot of people and so did I. The most incredible part -- We weren't one of those couples that had a wedding with tons of people we didn't like. We loved every single person who was at our wedding.
Finally, 2PM was here and the wedding was about to start. Chase was the officiant of the ceremony. He was one of the few guys in the team that was very well spoken and thus... He got the nod.
“Proud of you, man. We've all been waiting a long time for this. Couldn't be more proud of the man you've become. I know you wish Maddie could be here today. She is, man. She's out there cheering you on right now. Like the rest of us, she can't wait to see you commit your life to the woman of your dreams,” Chase said as he and I arrived at the gazebo.
Soon after, my bride to be emerged from behind the flowers. And oh my God! She was wearing the most stunning dress I'd ever seen. Her hair was down with white flowers woven in her long wavy brown hair. A part of me wondered if what Ayrton and Chase said about Maddie was true. Was she really happy for me? Was she here with us, watching?
Ayrton leaned closer to me and jarred me from my thoughts... “Dude... That is your wife.”
“Don't jinx me, she ain't said yes yet,” I responded.
And now... The suspense...
Of course she said yes! The smile she gave me when she said it was writ of legend. She was smiling so much that even when we kissed, it was more of a “Hey, lets get our lips somewhere in the same zip code and laugh like a couple of little kids on a church alter” type of kiss. She grabbed my hand as we paraded down the aisle and swung our hands back and forth. It made me remember our first date when she did the same thing as we walked through the orchard. She also looked at me the exact same way as we skipped down the aisle as she did on our first date. Years may have passed, but she wore them remarkably well.
The Legend: The Love of Ryan Sumpter Page 23