by Caitlyn Dare
The scenery soon changes to the familiar landscape of my past. The color of the buildings gets darker and the sizes smaller before I have to start swerving around the potholes in the road that didn’t exist a few miles ago.
I can navigate through this place with my eyes shut, so in no time we’re pulling up out the back of Sinners and I’m killing the engine.
“I never thought I’d be excited to be here,” Remi admits when I take the helmet from her and hang it over the handlebars.
No one else would risk leaving something that’s not bolted down, but everyone in town knows this is my bike and they wouldn’t fucking dare touch it, let alone steal it.
“Come on, then. They’ve already ordered dinner.”
“Good, I’m starving.”
Unlike when we were here last, we enter through the back door and head straight up the stairs. Neither Cruz nor D are working tonight; fuck knows how they managed to swing that, but the second I told them my plans they immediately said they’d sort it.
Both of them are a few years older than me. I vaguely remember them from Sterling Heights High, but then to be fair that’s probably because I was never really there rather than them being older. I’ve probably spent more time at Sterling Prep in the last couple of weeks than I did my entire senior year in Sterling Heights High.
“D, get in here,” Cruz shouts the second Remi and I walk into the living room they share in the apartment above the studio. “Jag really did bring his girl back.”
“Fuck off,” I bark as he comes over.
“Ace’s girl! It’s so good to see you.” He holds his hand out for her, and when she slips her fingers into it, he kisses her knuckles and then encourages her to spin for him, which she also does.
He whistles. “Looking good, girl. You’re wasted on this motherfucker, you know that, right?”
“Get your fucking eyes off her.” I pull Remi into my side and Cruz stares at me like I’m some kind of stranger to him.
“Girl, I love ya, but please, hand my guy his balls back. He’s going to think he belongs with the rich ‘uns in the Bay at any moment.”
“I really don’t think he is,” she mutters. “You might think he’s different, but they’re all running scared with just one look.” Cruz barks a laugh.
“Nah, they’ve got it all wrong. He’s all bark. There’s not much to his bite.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Remi mutters, and my mind goes straight in the gutter as I recall rebranding last night.
“Whoa, is it getting hot in here?” Cruz fans himself before gesturing toward the couch. “Come on, stop loitering in the doorway, mi casa es su casa.”
Tugging Remi behind me, we both fall down onto the couch as Cruz brings us over a bottle of beer each.
“This good or do you need champagne, Princess?”
“Fuck you, Cruz,” Remi snaps, reaching for the bottle and knocking the top off like a pro.
“Ouch, burn,” D says, coming to join us. “Jag, Rem.” He nods. “Dinner’s on its way.”
“So tell us about life in the Bay. What’s it like to have more money than sense?”
“I don’t remember,” Remi says at the same time I reply with, “Fuck knows.”
“Okay let’s try this another way… What’s it like living with people who have more money than sense?”
“Fucking awful,” we answer simultaneously, much to both Cruz and D’s amusement.
“Jesus, it’s like they’re a married couple.”
“My turn. I want to know what Sterling Heights Ace is like,” Remi says, not even attempting to cover up her secret mission.
“Well…” Cruz says, leaning back on his chair and crossing one leg over the other. “Basically as much as a moody fucker as he is in the Bay, I’d imagine. I’d think the only difference is that he spends most of his days planning people's murders rather than actually committing them.”
Remi tenses beside me. “He’s joking, baby.”
“Am I?” Cruz asks, his eyes going wide.
“Mostly.”
“Is Kelsey missing him?”
“Fucking hell, does she always ask this many questions?” D asks, sounds way too amused about the situation.
“Nah, she’s over it. Got herself a stand in. It was about time she found herself someone better looking.”
“Jesus. I knew coming here and letting her spend time with you two was a mistake.”
The banter continues long after the takeout arrives, and we all dig into the best Chinese that the Heights has to offer.
“Are you all done?” Remi asks once we’re resting back with full bellies and fresh beers.
“Stay put, Ace’s girl. Your boy’s got this, haven’t you?” He smirks at Ace. “It’ll do him good to remember what it’s like to live without a maid.”
“How’d you know about Ellen?” I ask, shocked.
“I didn’t, it was a joke.” He gawks. “You’ve got a fucking maid?”
“My uncle has, and I don’t want anything to do with him or his life, so I stay as far away as possible.”
Remi sits silently beside me but I can tell she wants to say something. Whether that’s to defend James or to say something about Ellen, I’m unsure but Cruz doesn’t give her a chance.
“Come on then, Preppy. Show us your skills.”
The two of us collect the empty containers and take them through to the kitchen.
“I never thought I’d say this,” he says when we’re out of earshot of Remi, “but that place looks good on you.”
“It’s not the place,” I mutter.
“Yeah, about her.”
“What about her?”
“She’s too fucking good for you, man.”
“Don’t I fucking know it.”
He stares at me, his eyes narrowing.
“What?”
“I’m missing something. What gives?”
I open my mouth to answer. These guys know me better than anyone, so I’m not surprised he can see something’s not quite right.
“You know my main purpose of going to the Bay.”
“To take down your uncle,” he says without missing a beat. “What’s that go to do with Remi?”
I hesitate, not really wanting to vocalize my intentions when it comes to the girl who has managed to bury herself deeper than anyone else. No one other than my brothers get under my walls, but I fear that she’s managed to without my knowledge.
“She’s really important to James. He’s seeing her mother.”
“Ace,” Cruz warns. “You telling me that this is all one big game?”
I shrug. That was my intention, but I can’t help wondering if things have changed too much for that to still be the case.
“I don’t know, man. She’s…”
“Yeah, I know. I see it. The way she looks at you... You’re going to fucking shatter her if you go through with this.”
“She deserves better than me. She’ll get over it.” It pains me to say it, but I can’t deny that it’s the truth.
“Maybe so, but it seems that you’re what she wants.”
I hold his heavy stare with my own until my pocket vibrates, demanding my attention. I quickly scan Donny’s text before switching it off.
“Problem?” Cruz’s brow arches.
“Nothing I can’t handle.”
“Watch your back, yeah? You know Donny doesn’t give two shits if you’re living in the Bay now. You run for him, only he gets to say when you walk away.”
I’m about to tell him to stay off my back when D shouts, “What the fuck are you two doing in there? Remi is planning her first ink.”
Cruz’s eyes light up at the prospect of inking my girl’s virgin skin before all but running from the room.
“Ace’s girl,” he drawls. “You getting ready for your first inking? You want the master, right?” Cruz wiggles his fingers at her and she blushes.
“Hey,” I mutter, slapping him around the head. “Only I get to make her blush like that
.”
“Sorry, man. I can’t help if she imagines my fingers doing other things.”
“I think it’s time we left. Neither of these motherfuckers are getting their hands on your body.”
“All right, caveman. Calm down.” Remi pats the couch beside her, and I have no choice but to sit beside her as she discusses options and where the least painful parts of the body are.
I watch as she soaks up everything he tells her. She continues drinking when they offer us more beer, but I stop. I need to get her home in one piece. I might want to teach my uncle a lesson, but killing us both in the process isn’t part of my plan.
When Remi starts yawning, I make our excuses and we head for the door.
“Call me and we’ll book that appointment in, girl.”
“You’ve got it.” Remi salutes Cruz and he beams at her.
Part of me is glad my friends approve of her and have accepted her in their lives this easily. A bigger part of me hates it. It’s only making what I need to do harder and more confusing.
Is it time I focused on myself for once? On what I want, me, instead of plotting the demise of someone else?
“You okay, Princess?” I ask when we come to a stop beside my bike and she sways slightly on her feet.
“Yeah. I really like those guys, and they’re not scary at all.”
“Like me, you mean.”
“You’re not scary, Ace.” Her voice is slurred, making me wish I cut her off a beer before I did. “I know you’ll protect me. Everyone is wrong about you, you know. You’re a good person. You make good choices.” Guilt engulfs me as her words rock my body.
“Oh yeah. Who says otherwise?”
“Conner.”
My brows pull together as anger swells in the pit of my stomach. If he’s in agreement with James and is warning Remi off me, then I’ll string him up by his fucking balls.
“And what did Conner say?”
“Shit. I shouldn’t have told you that. Whoopsie.” She covers her mouth with her delicate fingers and tries to look innocent. “Forget I said anything?”
“Sure,” I say with a smile. I can forget until the next time I’m face to face with my brother.
“Come on, let’s get you home.”
“I don’t want to go home.” She pouts as I pull her helmet on and lift the visor.
“No? Where do you want to go?”
“To your pool house.”
“Isn’t your mom expecting you?” She quirks an eyebrow. “Princess, have you been holding out on me?”
“I’m not the only one who can keep secrets, Jag.”
I chuckle at her use of my Heights nickname. “Oh yeah?”
“You want to know them?”
“Sure. Enlighten me.”
“I want you to take me back to your bed to do wicked things to me. And…” she says before she gasps and blushes.
“And?”
“I want you to fuck me on my birthday.” Her teeth sink into her bottom lip, as if she’s embarrassed to ask me.
“I thought you wanted a tattoo for your birthday.”
“I do. But I also want you,” she whispers the last two words, and I nearly come on the fucking spot with anticipation. She’s so innocent and sweet.
So fucking sexy.
“If that’s what you want, then who am I to deny you, Princess?”
A wide smile spreads across her face.
“Now, let’s go and make your first wish come true.”
I throw my leg over my bike and wait for her to join me.
With her wrapped around me, I head home, to my pool house, to do almost all the things I’ve been imagining while sitting beside her tonight.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Remi
“Morning,” Mom says when I enter the kitchen. She’s cooking pancakes, but she doesn’t wear her usual smile.
“Did Ace take you to Sterling Heights on Friday?” She turns around to face me, disappointment glistening in her eyes.
“I told you he was taking me out.”
“Yes, but you never said a word about going to Sterling Heights. Honestly, Remi, do you have any idea how dangerous it can be there?”
“I was with Ace. We went to see his friends.”
“That does not fill me with any reassurance.”
“Relax, Mom. The Heights isn’t that bad.” I’d had fun with Cruz and D. Sure, they teased me about me being from the Bay, but they had accepted me as one of their own. Unlike the kids at Sterling Prep, who go out of their way to make me feel like I don’t belong.
It’s funny, really, that the place I am supposed to fit in is the place I feel most alone, and the place I’m not supposed to fit in is the place I feel most like myself.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I have to agree with James on this one. I would prefer it if you didn’t—“
“Don’t do this,” I say, letting out a frustrated breath. “I like Ace, Mom. And who knows, maybe you’d like him to if you took the chance to really get to know him.”
“Well, it seems you’ll get your wish Wednesday. James has booked a pre-birthday meal for all of us down at The Blue Bay.”
“You’re kidding me?” The Blue Bay was expensive, not to mention a favorite hotspot with Sterling Bay’s elite.
It was also the last place I could see Ace and his brothers frequenting.
“He knows it’s your favorite.”
It used to be my favorite, before my dad ruined everything.
“It sounds lovely, Mom,” I grimace, “but I’m not sure it’s the kind of place Ace and his brothers will enjoy.”
“Well it’s not their birthday, and if Ace cares about you half as much as you seem to care about him, then there shouldn’t be a problem, should there?”
My lips purse. They’re testing us. You didn’t just turn up at a place like The Blue Bay in your best jeans and shirt. You wore dinner jackets and evening gowns.
“Talk to him, please. I don’t need dinner at The Blue Bay, it’s not me anymore.”
Maybe it never was.
And the thought that James might be setting some infallible test for Ace doesn’t sit well with me.
“You really don’t want to go?”
“I’d rather do something low key.”
“Fine, I’ll talk to him. But I can’t promise anything. James dotes on you, you know that. And he just wants you to have the things you deserve in life.”
I gawk at her. “There’s more to life than fancy restaurants and expensive champagne, Mom.” It comes out more harshly than I intend, and her face pales.
“That’s not fair, Remi.”
“Just talk to him, Mom, please. It’s my birthday, and I don’t want any fuss.”
I’ve already decided what I want. My first tattoo... and Ace.
I still can’t believe I was brave enough to tell him I want to have sex on my birthday, but the beers at Sinners might have had something to do with it.
I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything.
At first, Ace was just my way of saying ‘fuck you’ to everything. But he’s buried his way under my skin, and I want to give him the one thing no one else will ever have from me.
My first time.
A shiver ripples up my spine just thinking about it.
“What are your plans for today?” She changes the subject, and my shoulders sag with relief. That’s the thing about Mom; she never pushes too hard.
“I need to do some homework, and I thought maybe I’d drop by school and see Hadley.” I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to board at Sterling Prep.
“No Ace today?” Her brow rises.
“We’re not joined at the hip, Mom. Besides, I think he and his brothers are spending the day together.”
A strange expression washes over her, and I stiffen again. “What is it?” I ask.
“I think of what they had to survive, and it just breaks my heart. And well, I guess it hammers home how different things could have turned out f
or us.” Tears prick Mom’s eyes and I go to her, hugging her tightly.
“But they didn’t, Mom. You saw the light and kicked his sorry ass to the curb.”
“I know, sweetheart, I know.” She holds me at arm’s length. “Gosh, Remi, you’re almost eighteen, and it terrifies me. I’m not ready to lose you, baby.”
“Whoa, Mom. Who said anything about losing me?”
“It’s senior year.” She sniffles. “Then you’ll be going off to college and leaving me.”
“You have James,” I say, glossing over her mention of college. I still haven’t decided what I want to do. There’s no way in hell I’m accepting my dad’s offer to pay for tuition. And if I want a scholarship, I’m going to have to work my ass off.
“I do.” Her expression softens. “We haven’t talked about the future much...” she hesitates, and I sense she’s not being entirely truthful, “but he makes me very happy.”
“Are you sure he’s what you want, Mom?”
“Whatever do you mean?”
“I just mean we have a good thing going here. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Especially not Dad.”
She gasps. “You think... oh, sweetheart. That’s not what this is. James is a good man. But I’ve wanted to take it slow because I want to be absolutely sure before I rush into anything again.”
I stare at Mom and realize I’ve been carrying around so much hate and bitterness that I’ve failed to see the truth.
Dad’s betrayal changed her. Just like it changed me. But where I became detached and cold, she became desperate for attention. All this time, we’ve both been feeling the same thing, we’ve just dealt with it differently.
“Why has James never had a serious girlfriend before, Mom?” As far as I can remember, he’s always lived alone in that big house of his.
She brushes the hair off my face, smiling at me the way she did when I was little. As if I’m the most important thing in her life. “We don’t talk about it much. But once, he told me there was a girl. She broke his heart and he never really moved on.”
“That’s sad,” I say, wondering who she was.
“It is. You know, Remi, I just want what’s best for you. But you’re right, you are almost an adult, which means you’re old enough to make your own decisions. And despite what I said earlier about Ace, even the most broken souls deserve to be loved.” Mom cups my face, placing a kiss on my forehead. Her words sink into me. I know it’s not a blessing, not really, but she’s telling me to follow my heart.