Home for Good

by Jessica Keller

  Kate rolled her eyes. “Whatever. If it makes you feel better to believe that, then you’re lying to more than just them.”

  Ali rose. “Where do you get off, Kate? Seriously. You can’t stand there and judge me. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of not living up to anyone’s expectations. I’m sick of you and your perfect little life and you spitting out platitudes.”

  Kate jammed down the garbage lid. “Sick of it, huh?”

  Boiling over with emotions that had nothing to do with her sister, Ali thrust her hand. “Makes me want to puke.”

  Kate leveled a glare. “Good. That makes my news easier to tell you. I found a job. I’m leaving.”

  “Leaving?” Ali stumbled back and blinked. “But why?”

  Kate tossed up her hands. “This isn’t where I belong, Al. It’s never been my world. You live and breathe these animals, this land. I don’t. At all. I don’t like working with the horses. I don’t like doing manual labor in the heat. I don’t like being able to see for miles and miles. The bugs. None of it.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Ali, think about it. Unless you’re too blind to see, your prodigal husband has returned. I’ve lived my life helping you long enough, and you don’t need me anymore. Move on, sis. Forgive your husband and live a new life with your family.”

  Ali swallowed a lump the size of Montana. “Is that how you really feel? Like I’ve held you back?”

  “Not in the terrible way you’re imagining. But I took off more than a year before starting college to stay with you and help take care of Chance. I stuck close to home for school and came back right away, all so I could be here for you and Ma.”

  “I never asked that of you. You could have done anything you wanted. Don’t blame me for—”

  “I’m not blaming you for anything. It’s just how it went. I don’t regret staying behind with you. But now that I know Jericho is back, I’m going to move on. Finally do my own thing.”

  Ali searched her little sister’s face, trying to grasp what she was saying. “You’re really leaving?”

  “Yeah. Sorry to tell you like this.” Kate walked toward the back door. “But I found a job. I went to college for a reason. Better use that degree, right?” She opened the door and offered Ali a small, soft smile. Then she walked outside.

  “Right.” Ali stared at the door as it slammed shut.

  * * *

  Pink light, the blush of the first kiss of sunlight, flooded the valley. Ali drank in a fortifying breath drenched with the sweet scent of wildflowers. She pulled herself off the dew-drenched ground and shook the clinging grass from the back of her shirt. Guess she ended up falling asleep out here last night. She stretched against a kink in her neck.

  Arms draped around her knees, she relished a peaceful moment spent laughing at the prairie dogs popping in and out of their earthen holes. It made her forget for a short while about all the responsibility weighing her down.

  She took a deep breath. “I don’t know what You’re doing, God, but something is happening and I’m not sure I like it. But at least I can say thank You for new starts.”

  First there was Chance’s outburst yesterday, cured by two hours in his room. He emerged contrite and happy to trail Kate the rest of the day. All talk of fathers abandoned.

  Ali still felt uneasy about her ranch hand, though. He didn’t strike her as a person who was capable of harming anyone. Was Megan right? Could Rider Longley really be out to get her? Why would Rider give two bucks about seeing her and Jericho together at the picnic? The thought almost made her laugh.

  Then Kate’s big announcement. Leaving. She didn’t know how to function without her sister around. Sure, she could be happy for her little sister, going out and making something of herself in the world. It’s just that Ali had always counted on the fact that Kate would be here.

  And what about poor Tripp? Ali wrung her hands. The man was everything she should want, but couldn’t force her heart to love. His attention brought added stress.

  Everyone chipped at pieces of her heart then walked away. Ali shivered and hugged her torso. She might be left with nothing.

  “Miss Ali!”

  She looked up. Across the field, Rider jogged toward her, his mouth in a grim line. Ali rocketed to her feet.

  He reached her seconds later, holding his side, puffing out breaths. “Miss Ali, I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Megan said to get you quick. It’s Denny.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Ali tore across the field on the toes of her boots. Her hat flew off. Grabbing the door of the barn, she used it to bank hard and round down the aisle. A couple horses snorted when she entered. Denny’s stall stood open.

  Megan sprang to her feet. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He won’t get up and—”

  Ali pushed past her. Denny lay on his side, eyes closed. His head rested in filthy straw. Dropping to her knees, Ali crawled to him. “Denny? Hey, boy. What’s wrong, handsome?”

  He didn’t stir. Didn’t open his eyes.

  “How long has he been like this?” She groped her hands over his body, searching for an injury, hoping he’d nicker or snort. He felt warm. Much too warm. And he heaved more than breathed, as if he couldn’t fill his lungs.

  Megan stepped back. “I don’t know. I found him this way.”

  Trembling, Ali looked over her shoulder to Megan, who propped her shoulder against the doorway. “How long until the vet’s here?”

  “I didn’t call him yet.”

  “Do it now,” Ali pleaded. Why hadn’t she come out to the barn when she’d woken up instead of going out to the field? She should have known he needed her, should have felt it. If something happened to him...if he... She shook her head.

  Turning back to Denny, Ali ran her hands along his neck, pressing her ear against his side. His heart raced, and her eyes burned. “C’mon, buddy. Stay here with me.”

  Ali got up and stepped to his other side. Blood pooled from his lips, and her vision went blurry. Kneeling near his head, she pressed her face against him. She drank in the smell of his skin, memorized the play of hay dust against his strong black muzzle.

  “I love you. Please don’t leave me,” she whispered. Her lips brushed his jaw.

  He made a weird noise deep in his throat, like he was trying to talk to her and couldn’t. Ali pulled back. Denny opened the gentle, expressive eye she loved, and his gaze locked with hers for a long moment. Ali held her breath. Her old friend gave one long sigh and closed his eyes again. Black lashes splayed out against his golden fur.

  And just like that, he was gone.

  No! The word rocked through her, and she wanted to hurl something. She grabbed at the side of the stall, but the moment she found her feet, she turned and looked down at Denny. Her beautiful friend, with his magnificent buckskin glossy hide and his perfect black stockings. She covered her mouth with her hand, holding back a sob as it shuddered, trying to get out of her body.

  Gone.

  Her knees buckled, and she came down hard beside him. Crawling over his middle, she ran her hands through his mane, cupped them over the soft hairs on the edge of his ears. His body was still warm, possessing the power to make her feel whole. What would she do without him? Riding Denny was the only thing that had ever made her forget the ache inside.

  “Denny. I’m so sorry.” Her tears exploded one after another on his neck. She moved to lie against his back. A deep moan escaped her lips, and the sobs came then. She wrapped an arm over the top of him and pulled herself closer, weeping.

  Kate stepped toward her. “Al. Hey. Let’s get you out of here.”

  Ali lifted her head and shook it. Choking on her emotions, she sat and pushed her sister away. Then she leaned back over her beloved horse, running her hands across the length of his body. She strok
ed her fingertips down his face.

  “After Jericho left, I used to have trouble sleeping. I’d come in here and crawl up on Den. I’d sob into his back and whisper ‘come home’ over and over again. Denny would breathe even and steady, as if to tell me no matter what—no matter who left—he would always be there for me. I used to come out here and just hug his neck for hours when Ma got bad. And he’d let me, just loop his head over my shoulder and rub his muzzle on my back like he was saying that he loved me, even if no one else did.”

  “Come on, it’s not good for you to stay with him like this.” Kate beckoned to her.

  Ali curled back down against Denny’s back. “Leave me alone.”

  “Al...”

  “I mean it. Just leave me alone with him. Please.”

  Kate backed out of the stall, motioning for the others to leave the barn.

  Feeling like her insides had been ripped out, Ali sobbed into Denny’s lifeless body. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you. I’m so sorry, Denny.”

  * * *

  The Jeep churned the gravel, kicking up a cloud of dust as Jericho pulled onto the Silvers’ property. He was late for the riding lessons, but there were no cars, none of the usual bustle. He parked the vehicle, got out and strode toward the barn.

  Rider skirted around the side. “Wouldn’t go in there if I was you.”

  “Where is everyone?”

  Rider’s gaze shifted to the door. “Classes were canceled today.”

  Ali didn’t cancel classes for anything. Jericho grabbed Rider’s arm. “What’s going on?”

  “It’s Denny. Ali’s in there with him. She won’t come out, and won’t let any of us in.”

  Jericho saw it in Rider’s eyes. Her horse was dead. Oh, Ali.

  Pushing the ranch hand aside, Jericho raced into the dark barn. In the commotion, the lights must have never been turned on, and he wasn’t about to now and risk startling Ali. He walked into the fifth stall and froze, the air catching in his chest. She lay with her arms around the horse she loved, whispering into his unhearing ears.

  Tears stung Jericho’s eyes as he knelt, running his hand over her red hair. Ali blinked up at him, and for a moment, he thought she would shove him away. Yell at him to leave. Instead, she sat up inch by inch and cupped her hands over her face. Thinking she was ready to leave Denny’s side, Jericho took her elbows and drew Ali to her feet. She let out a loud, mournful whimper that made his insides run cold. He pulled her against his chest, but she crumpled. He went down to the ground with her, holding her while she shook.

  “He’s gone. He left me.” One of her hands shot out, and she stroked the animal’s now-cold leg. Jericho took both her hands and ushered her beside him as he sat, leaning against the wall of the stall. He wrapped her in his arms, trying to offer his warmth and his strength. She turned into him, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt as she cried, “Why does everyone leave me?”

  “I’m here, Ali. Shhh.” Jericho stroked her hair and rubbed circles on her back. He dropped a kiss against her hair. “I gotcha.” Blazes of pain raced up his knee, but he wasn’t about to risk shifting his weight. Absolutely nothing short of the barn catching on fire would convince him to do something that might force Ali to move. Pulling her closer, he nosed into her hair, smelling the trace of something flowery like the outdoors. Smells like the sunshine.

  All too soon, Ali put her hand to his chest and pushed a little. She sat back, eyelashes damp, nose blotchy, and eyes red-rimmed.

  He’d never seen someone more beautiful.

  He wanted to kiss the tears from her cheeks. Instead, he settled for wiping them with the side of his finger. “I’m sorry about Denny. I know what he meant to you.”

  Uh-oh. That got the floodgates started again.

  The next breath she sucked down rattled on the way in. “He was everything. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him. It hurts. Right here.” She laid both of her hands over her heart. “Could I be having a heart attack?”

  Pulling up his knee, Jericho finally found a moderate amount of relief. “I think it’s heartache, sweetie, not a heart attack.”

  “It’s too much. Why is so much happening at once?” Using the back of her wrist to wipe her nose, she closed her eyes.

  He took a deep breath. What comfort could he offer? Her beloved horse lay dead as a stone inches away. No, he wouldn’t make light of the loss by trying to tie it up with pretty words, even if he could find something eloquent to say.

  When she opened her eyes, her gaze locked with his. The gold specks in her eyes sparkled, and he couldn’t breathe for a second. He broke the trance, more out of necessity than anything. He would not kiss this woman next to Denny’s body.

  He cupped her shoulders. “What’s too much?”

  “Ma just passed away. Now this. You showed back up, and Tripp is stressing me out. Chance is angry with me, and Kate is leaving.” Using her fingers, she ticked off the offenses. “The ranch isn’t turning a profit, and I’m afraid Big Sky Dreams might not be able to meet our fundraising goals, and then I’m so scared...”

  Concern prickled down his skin. “Scared about what?”

  Her mouth opened in an O. “Just all this. Everything that’s going on.”

  He could see it. She still didn’t trust him. Fine. He could live with that for now. At least she wasn’t so bent on pushing him away anymore.

  “Don’t know how I feel about making it on your list.”

  “You can’t deny that your presence is adding a lot of stress.”

  “It doesn’t have to.”

  “Jericho, what am I going to do without Denny? I had this big plan. He was going to save us. I had us signed up for six rodeos this summer.” She fingered Denny’s ear. “I know it sounds stupid, but I had it all planned. We were going to take first place at all six races and use the prize money to pay off the debt and help keep the doors to Big Sky Dreams open. And now?” She shrugged. “Now that hope is gone, and I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

  His heart wrenching at seeing her beside Denny, Jericho scooched over and placed his hand atop hers where it lay on the horse’s neck. “Maybe,” he whispered. “Maybe you need to look to a different savior.”

  Her eyebrows rose. “You?”

  Shaking his head, he gave her hand a squeeze. “No. I want to help you, if you’ll let me. I’d love to be beside you for all that stuff you just said, and do my share of fixing. But I’m no hero to put all your trust in. I’m talking about God.”

  She snorted. “Now you’re starting to sound like Kate. She keeps leaving these three-by-five cards all over the house with verses scribbled on them. Supposedly it’s so she can memorize them, but I think she’s trying to leave hints for me.”

  Jericho smiled. “Like spiritual bread crumbs? I knew I liked that girl.” Just then, Ali’s redheaded sister tiptoed into the barn and Jericho caught her eye, giving her a nod.

  “Hey, Al, you okay?” Kate’s voice came low as she ducked her head into the stall.

  “I don’t think I’ll be okay for a long time.”

  “Well, we called the vet and he’s making arrangements to have Denny picked up. I don’t think you should be here when they do it.”

  Neither did Jericho. Growing up on a ranch, he had seen his share of dead animals. Often, Pop moved the carcass to the edge of the property and let the mountain lions, bears and wolves have at it, but the few he’d seen hauled away, well, he didn’t want Ali to witness it with her beloved pet. The companies were respectful, but seeing them wrap chains around Denny’s body and drag him into the truck? No, thank you.

  He stood, offering a hand to her. She surprised him again by taking it.

  Her lip trembled. “I want an autopsy. Tell Dr. Hammond...I have to know what caused this.”

  Kate’s brow wrinkled.
“Al, that’s expensive.”

  Wrapping his arm around Ali’s waist, Jericho ushered her out of the stall and slowly down the barn aisle. “I’ll pay for it.”

  Sure that she was going to argue, he racked his brain for a way to convince her, but she just said a quick and quiet, “Thank you.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Ali trailed Jericho toward the café. He held open the door. After they were seated, she excused herself to the washroom. Grasping the cold sink counter, she searched her reflection. Were her eyes as empty as she felt inside? How terrible was it to mourn a horse more than her own mother? Splashing water didn’t improve the puffy redness on her face, nor did it take away the lingering barnyard and manure smells. Yanking paper towels out of the temperamental dispenser, Ali wet them and rubbed the worst of the grime off her forearms.

  “This is as good as it gets.” She meant to walk out and join Jericho, but her feet didn’t move. Why was she here? Alone with him. Okay, the café might be pretty full, but it wasn’t like Kate or Chance could walk in and interrupt them. She should have stayed at the ranch. There was work to do. Maybe he’d take her back if she asked. Filling up her day with a bunch of tasks would minimize the pain. The hole in her emotions would split open and she would bleed inwardly when she lay in bed tonight, but she’d worry about it then.

  As she walked into the eating area, Jericho’s blue eyes seemed to drink her in. She tried to remind herself that she didn’t like the man with the disarming, crooked grin seated at her table, but that was becoming harder to believe. Honestly, he terrified her—for herself and for what he had the power to do to Chance.

  Her trail of thoughts halted when she spied the glass in his hand. An amber liquid with the telltale trace of white froth. Stomach recoiling, she slammed her purse on the table, and he spilled some of the brew on himself. Serves him right. She’d been wrong to trust him at all. What was the saying? A leopard always shows his spots. Drunkard. That’s all he’d ever be.

  Pulling a wad of flimsy napkins from the basket on the table, Jericho dabbed at the wet spot on his shirt. “Got me good.” He laughed, and it grated her nerves.