by Lyra Shanti
His heart swelled as he slowly sat down next to her on the bed. He didn’t want to disturb or wake her, but… he also had no one else he felt he could talk to about the amazing, yet frightening things Meddhi had just revealed to him.
Not knowing what else to do, Ayn leaned down next to her and rested on his arm while he watched her sleep. Listening to her breathe, Ayn’s troubled mind began to calm.
“I love you…” he whispered with his eyes closed.
“I love you too,” came a soft whisper in return.
Surprised, Ayn smiled and opened his eyes. He found Ona’s half tired, but beautiful eyes looking back at him. She then sighed and extended her arm to him, wrapping it around his side.
Ayn wanted to tell her everything, and also ask her how she was feeling, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment. It felt like heaven.
Smiling at her, he softly said, “Ona… this feels like… home.”
His words made her heavy heart lighten a little and forced her to smile.
“It could be your home, Ayn,” she said as she moved even closer to him, gently pressing her body against his. “If you wanted, you could stay here on Kri with me… forever, if you wished.”
Ayn gulped. How could he tell her what Meddhi had just told him? His head was still reeling from his old Lan's claim that Ayn’s destiny is to unlock Adin’s true powers with his ancient medallion, and to do that, he would have to go deep inside of the Dei's Holy Temple to where Adin’s body lay.
“I'm sorry. I can’t stay, Ona, though I wish with all my soul I could.”
“Why can’t you?” asked Ona as she buried her head into his chest, her face right next to his precious, red and gold-lined, star-shaped medallion. “Just tell Baran you don’t want to be involved in any more war and that you wish to remain on Kri with me… at least until the funeral.”
“Of course I’ll stay for the funeral, my beloved,” said Ayn, softly squeezing her in his arms, “but… shortly after that, I will have to go to Deius… whether I want to or not.”
“Is it because you want to regain your kingdom?” asked Ona sadly. “If so, I understand, though I wish you could stay. I know you can’t though. You are their Bodanya, and you are needed on Deius. I’m just being selfish.”
“No, my sweet Ona,” said Ayn as he pulled back a little to look into her beautiful, emerald eyes. “You’re not being selfish. I’m not going to Deius to reclaim my throne or to be their Bodanya. Well, it’s not just that anyway.”
“What is it then?”
“Meddhi told me tonight about a sort of prophecy… about Adin and about a key he left behind, should he ever return in another physical life.”
“A key? What sort of key?”
Ayn looked down at his chest and raised up his medallion.
“This key, or so Meddhi believes it to be anyway. You see, the legend goes that when Adin died, he was buried with an ancient artifact that powers my medallion. Both objects are from a time long ago… when our people could use their minds to move and bend things to their will. According to Meddhi, Adin had knowledge of those old powers and was able to bend the will of, not just objects, but people too. He says my medallion is the key to Adin’s full mental abilities, and if I can find the other artifact within his tomb, I will be able to become one with Adin, once and for all. He believes it is The Bodanya’s destiny to rule Deius with those ancient powers of mind control, and through that ability, no one will be able to question my right to rule, not even The Tah.”
Noticing Ayn’s sad expression, Ona said, “Oh, my love. That is a lot to take in, but... why do you look so sad? Isn’t it a good thing if you are able to end this war and reclaim your birthright?”
“Yes, but...” Ayn replied, “I'm just… not so sure it's what I’m supposed to do. It feels wrong, Ona. Bending people to my will? I don’t like it. I can’t imagine it's what The Bodanya was meant for. It’s bad enough I’ve become some sort of warrior. I wasn’t raised to be that, Ona. I was supposed to be a peaceful man. I was supposed to bring balance. I mean, doesn’t Meddhi remember that? He raised me, for Gods’ sake! Or is this man who has Meddhi’s face not really my father after all? Maybe he’s just a soulless clone.”
“Wait…” said Ona, confused. “What do you mean, ‘your father?’ I know he was your spiritual father, but…”
“No, he's actually my real father. Meddhi confessed to being my true, biological father. He apparently had a secret love affair with my mother, Queen Amya.”
“Oh wow,” she replied, a little dumbstruck. “So… let me get this straight. Meddhi had a secret affair with Amya… and Notama had an affair with her sister, my mother.” Smirking cynically, she added, “They really trained those priests well at The Dei, didn’t they?”
Ayn smirked and rubbed his forehead.
“I’m sorry, Ayn. I don't mean to make light of it. I’m just… confused, and maybe too grief-stricken to truly process any of this.”
“No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t be burdening you with all this right now. I should go.”
Getting up from the bed, Ayn felt Ona tug at his arm.
“No, please, Ayn… stay.”
How could he resist her pleading green eyes? Sitting back down next to her, Ayn half-smiled at her. “I’ll stay… if you wish me to.”
“I wish it more than anything, my love. I’m just tired… and a bit overwhelmed. I didn’t mean to be flippant. I really do want to help.”
“Ona, my love, you help just by being here and listening.”
Wrapping her arms around him, she smiled and said, “So... I guess this makes us cousins. I hope Deius doesn’t have some sort of law against us being together.”
“I wouldn’t care if they did,” replied Ayn with a bit of a grin.
“You’d break the rules for me?” she asked, looking up at him with a devious smile.
“Ona, I’d be willing to do anything for you.”
“Anything?”
“Well… almost.”
Unable to stop herself, she wrapped her arms around his neck and passionately kissed him. For a moment, both of them became lost in a spell of love and lust, temporarily forgetting all the pain and confusion.
“Oh, my Ona,” Ayn moaned in between kisses, “I love you so much, I could burst apart.”
“I love you with all my soul, my Ayn, my God of Gods!”
“I’m not a God” he bashfully replied. “I’m just a man, and not even fully that.”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” she quipped with a grin. “You’re a man and a God all at once! You’re my God, and I want you so much! Please stay, Ayn… even if just for tonight. Stay in my bed and in my heart, always!”
Ayn was happy to obey his princess, but didn’t expect what Ona did next. Flinging off her silk nightgown, she wrapped herself around his waist and straddled him.
“Take me tonight, my love! Be my first! Be my soul-mate and true love forever!”
Completely taken by surprise, Ayn felt himself respond to her passion with all his body and soul. Ona then pulled off his shirt and gently rubbed his chest with her delicate, but needy fingers.
Together, they rocked back and forth and moaned.
“Oh, Gods, Ona! If you keep doing this, I think I might die!”
“Then die with me, my love! We’ll die together, then be reborn, like two Sarax in the stars!”
Her words made his body ache even more than her movements did. She too seemed caught in their sensual spell as she pulled at Ayn’s pants.
Ayn suddenly became all too aware of his unique lower half and said, “Wait… Ona, wait!”
“What?” she asked, afraid she did something wrong.
Holding his pants by his waist-ties, Ayn caught his breath and said, “Ona… please, maybe we should think about this for a minute.”
“What do you mean?” she said, frowning. “Do you not want to make love with me?”
“No, of course I do! It’s just…”
“It’s what?”
Ona looked as though she might burst into tears, making Ayn feel terrible. He wanted to tell her about his odd condition, but at the same time, he didn’t want her to know. It was too embarrassing. She thought of him as a God. Ayn didn’t know how she’d think of him if he exposed his physically female part to her. He feared she may not even love him anymore if she knew.
“Look, Ona… you just lost your father, and you’re very emotional and-”
“Don’t you love me?” she asked with sad, doe eyes.
“Yes! Desperately!”
“Then why won’t you make love to me? I’m ready, Ayn. Really, I am.”
“Yes, I can tell... but… I don’t think I am. Look, Ona, it’s my fault. I’m just silly. I was raised by old-fashioned priests, and I… just think maybe we should be married first before we join our bodies.”
Stunned at the words that came out of his mouth, Ayn nervously smiled at her, hoping she bought the excuse.
“Oh, Ayn!” she replied as she grabbed around his neck in utter joy. “Are you asking me to marry you?!”
“Um… I… yes, I guess I am,” said Ayn in a nervous giggle.
“Then the answer is an absolute yes! I will marry you, my forever love!”
Fully embracing him, naked and ecstatic, Ona laughed and said, “My beautiful, silly God of Gods! You may be old-fashioned, as you put it, but the fact that you want to wait until our wedding only proves how great of a man you are!”
Ayn sighed as he held her close. He had no idea what he was saying or doing. How can I promise myself to her when I have no right? I’m such a liar… such a fake! he thought as she kissed his lips and lay down next to him.
As he held her, part of him wanted to believe that, somehow, he would not only survive the impending war on Deius, but in the end, Ona would accept him the way he is - male and female parts and all. He wanted to believe, against all odds, he would someday live a normal, healthy man’s life, and maybe even have children; all that every man hopes for. However, Ayn’s doubts told him nothing but negative thoughts: You will be alone. You were always meant to be alone. You are a freak, and you will never have a wife and children. Accept it, and let go.
On the edge of tears, Ayn grabbed onto Ona’s back and said, “If I survive this war, Ona…”
“You will survive it, my love,” she broke in.
“Yes, well… I hope you’re right. If I do, will you come to Deius with me and be my queen?”
“Oh, Ayn…” she said in tears. “I will have to speak with the council first, and make arrangements with Baran, but… yes! Of course I will!”
Ayn smiled, completely unsure if he even deserved her to be his wife. Even still, her answer gave him hope.
Ona snuggled into his chest as he pulled the covers over them both.
“Thank you, my beloved,” Ayn said softly into her ear. “Thank you so much.”
“You don’t have to thank me, my love!” she giggled. “I am yours, and always will be. We were meant to be together, Ayn. If you believe nothing else, believe that much.”
“I have a hard time believing in fate… but I do believe we were meant to be together. How can I not when I look into your eyes and feel as though my soul is called to be inside you?”
His words pierced through Ona’s heart like an arrow.
“Oh, Ayn! I feel the same! Don’t worry, my beloved, we will both survive this horrible time, and we will be stronger for it. I don’t believe for a moment you are a God who can be easily prophesied by priests, nor are you simply a warrior for battle. You are a man, not easily defined, full of greatness and truth! You will bring balance in your own way, Ayn. I know it! Believe in yourself the way I believe in you, and you will see that your fate is in your own hands. Be yourself, nothing else, and I will be there the whole way through, loving you till the end!”
Unable to stop himself from crying, Ayn embraced his future wife with all of his might. He had no words, only tears of joy and pain, and he hoped it was enough for her to understand his feelings.
It was more than enough as Ona held him tight, loving him beyond words.
“You’ll see,” she said in a hush, “together, we will heal each other… and the world.”
Ayn could only pray Ona’s own prophecy would come to pass. If all else failed, and if Deius fell because of his weakness, at least he could believe in her love and loyalty.
Please, Gods, he silently prayed, let me have this woman. Let me have her, and I swear I will dedicate my life and soul to balancing The Un. I know not how to do it, but I will somehow, I promise!
Lying together, both of them soon fell asleep, renouncing their fears in exchange for hope.
Chapter 18: The King's Boat
The sound of the harps brought nearly everyone to tears as they lowered Atlar’s jewel-encrusted, man-sized boat into the water. His body had been dressed in a red suit that had once his favorite to wear at ceremonial functions. He also had a golden, silken sash wrapped around him from his chest to his waist, which accentuated Atlar’s handsome, manly form. An array of flowers had been flung across him as well, and as soldiers of The Lirhan lowered him down, he glistened in the setting Krian sun.
Ona couldn’t keep herself together, though she had promised herself she wouldn’t fall apart. Despite her vow, she found herself drowning in tears, clinging onto Ayn for support. Her future husband was now her rock as he held her tight, keeping her from losing all sense of decorum. She had wanted to be strong and stoic for her people, especially since she had heard her father’s funeral was being aired on Krian satellites, but she just couldn’t keep full composure. Atlar was her last remaining parent, and she hadn’t yet felt truly over her mother’s death, let alone his.
Adding to the emotional mood was a famous Krian opera singer named Elsa Riverwand. Her bellowing, yet lilting voice lingered in the wind as it kept in time with the harp, capturing everyone’s hearts within the tragically beautiful sound.
Ona’s heart felt broken as she watched the soldiers use hand-held remotes to guide Atlar’s boat down the Sri-Hara River. The river literally meant “Tears of Sri,” having been named after Sri Unda, who supposedly had retired nearby within the Dryndi temple. According to legend, she had cried for many months after her beloved Adin was killed. It was a river that had been long associated with remorse, and the passing of loved ones.
Ona could barely watch as Atlar’s boat gently cascaded down the stream, heading inevitably toward the enormous, crashing falls at the end of the river.
Burying her head into Ayn’s chest, she couldn't take any more of it. Ayn, however, watched, almost transfixed. The river seemed so familiar to him, as did the entire area around the Dryndi temple. He couldn’t totally place it, but he knew, deep down, he had been to this place before. He could only guess Adin had traveled to the river at some point. Ayn wondered if the rumor about Adin having been brought back from death by Sri Unda was actually true, or if it was a myth, made up by The Dryndi for some unknown reason, perhaps to bring notoriety for themselves. He couldn’t be sure, but he felt in his heart he had previously seen the temple, and its nearby river of tears.
As Ayn tried to place his memories, High priestess Emelanthia stood on a marble platform, which overlooked the river, often used in Krian funerals. Waiting for Riverwand to finish singing, the high priestess stood stoic in her long, silver and violet dress-robes. She then began speaking in a sacred language. It was old Krian, a dead language none but the very educated understood. Among those present, only Baran, Ona, and Emelanthia’s student, Arna, were able to discern her words.
“Though the body is temporary,” she spoke with a firm tone, “the spirit is eternal. Here, at this ancient and holy river, travels a man who will be long remembered by many as one of the greatest kings of our time. He was a gentle and kind father, a fierce warrior, and loyal friend. As our beloved king travels along the tears of water, may we all pray his soul finds rest in the Jou, the peaceful afterlife, which will no doubt be vi
sible to him as soon as he passes through the veil of life.”
Suddenly, as he listened to the strange language Emelanthia spoke, Ayn had a waking vision.
He stood by the white pillars of the Dryndi temple, which in reality, Ayn could see by the falls in the near distance. In the vision, however, Ayn stood just outside the temple, and he wore some kind of white robes, as if he too was part of their sacred order. He knew he wasn’t though. He felt more like a displaced traveler who had found himself there, almost by magic.
She woke me from a deep, disturbing slumber... Ayn heard in his head. It was his own voice, yet it was not. Was this Adin? Ayn couldn’t be sure, though the voice seemed similar, albeit more dazed than Adin’s usual, focused confidence. Ayn took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and let the vision go wherever it wanted.
As he let himself drift inside the past, he felt her soft hands slide around his waist from behind. It was his truest love, his only, his Sri. He felt comforted, but also confused.
“Why am I here, Sri?” said Adin as he turned to face her.
“Because I cannot live without you. I am selfish, I know, but I had no choice. Your soul was suffering, my love. How could I allow you to remain in the afterlife in such a torn, fragmented state? No, I had to bring you back… by any means necessary.”
Adin sighed, then held her by her shoulders, looking at her with loving, but worried eyes.
“Do you forgive me?” she asked, her green eyes pleading as her long, black hair blew in the brisk wind of a Krian spring.
“Of course,” he replied as he brought her inside his arms, cradling her. “How could I be angry with you for bringing me back? It’s just…”
“What?”
“I never wanted you to feel such pain in the first place. I never wanted you to shed so many tears at this river. When I think of the months that have gone by while I was in the afterlife… and how you were forced to flee to the temple of your mother’s… and the unholy things you learned just to bring me back - it all makes me feel nothing but contempt for the men who caused my beloved to go to such extremes. Sri, my beloved woman, I am so sorry.”