“What’s that?” Amy pointed to one of the wire-framed partitions placed about sixty feet from the marked batter’s box near the front of the cage.
“Another safety precaution. If we’re using a pitcher instead of the pitch machine, he stands behind the partition. See how the frame curves?”
Amy nodded. “Is that so he can throw the ball and still be protected?”
“Yep. And we can turn it from one side to the other depending on whether the pitcher is right- or left-handed.” Rick looked from Amy to Danny. “Are you ready to try your hand at some batting practice?”
“Yes!” Danny said, pumping his fist.
For the next hour, using one of the smaller, lightweight bats from the equipment room, Rick taught Danny the basics of hitting while Amy watched from one of the folding chairs set outside the cage. Danny was an apt pupil, and when he finally connected with a few of Rick’s pitches, he would turn toward Amy as she clapped and cheered with unbridled enthusiasm.
“How about we head up to the clubhouse,” Rick suggested to Danny after the lesson was over. “The lounge is stocked with drinks and snacks and we can start oiling that glove.” He glanced at Amy. “If it’s okay with your mom, that is.”
Amy glanced at the large round clock on the wall. “We still have some time before dinner, and Danny doesn’t have to go back to school until next week, so I think we can hang out here for a little while longer.”
Danny’s face lit up. “You’re the best, Mom. Isn’t she, Mr. Taylor?”
Rick met Amy’s amused gaze and nodded. “Yeah. She’s the best.”
Amy had never given much thought to what the locker room of a professional baseball team looked like. Today she’d learned it was commonly referred to as the ‘clubhouse’ and it was as well-appointed as any spa. There was a room with whirlpools for soaking aching muscles and joints, another room for massage and physical therapy, a medical exam room, and a large gym with racks of weight equipment, treadmills, elliptical machines, and other cardio and weightlifting equipment she couldn’t identify.
Instead of the metal lockers she was used to in the dressing room at Stylus, the lockers in the Blaze clubhouse were made of wood and were wide enough for several changes of clothes. There was a spacious shelf for toiletries and other small items above the hanger bar, and hooks on either side of each locker which, according to Rick, was where the players hung a laundry sack to place their uniform and socks in after a game. Wooden benches were placed in front of each wall of lockers, and in the middle of the room, five luxurious black leather recliners faced a large screen television mounted on the wall.
Danny, to no one’s surprise, had been thoroughly impressed and then downright giddy when Rick led them into the players’ lounge which, with its wide array of snack and beverage options, was like an employee break room on steroids.
Other than the three of them, there was no one else in the clubhouse, and with Rick and Danny in the gym working on oiling Danny’s new glove, Amy relaxed in one of the recliners, unable to stop thinking about Rick and their passionate night together. It sounded cheesy to describe sex with Rick as the best she’d ever had, but nevertheless, it was true. To be honest, her first sexual encounter hadn’t happened because she’d been in love, or even because she’d liked the guy. Loneliness had been her only motivation and afterward, when the boy had ignored her at school, she’d felt even lonelier.
After that, she’d fallen in with a hard partying crowd, and wanting to belong, she drank a lot of beer and slept with a few more boys. None of them had a clue about anything other than getting themselves off and it hadn’t been all that enjoyable. Wisely, she’d insisted on condoms. And Danny’s father had been no exception. However, in that instance the condom had failed.
But being with Rick was different. There was a connection between them she hadn’t felt with anyone else. And unlike the others, he not only cared enough to ensure she was satisfied, he’d gone out of his way to make sure it happened more than once.
“Hey.”
Rick’s deep voice startled her. She shifted on the cushion as he perched on the arm of the recliner next to her. “Where’s Danny?” she asked.
“In the gym oiling his glove. I turned on one of the TVs and found the Weather Channel for him so he won’t get bored.”
“Most kids watch cartoons.” Amy grinned. “My kid can’t get enough of the weather. Go figure.”
“He’s definitely one-of-a-kind.”
Her grin faded as the possible outcome of Rick and Danny’s burgeoning relationship played out in her head. “He could get attached to you.”
The amused expression on Rick’s face turned serious. “Would that be a bad thing?”
“It could be. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that nothing lasts forever.”
“I’ve learned that too,” Rick said softly.
Amy winced. What in the world was wrong with her? How could she be so insensitive? What she’d been through was nothing compared to what Rick had suffered. “Of course you have. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s okay.” He lifted his head to meet her gaze. “I didn’t think I’d ever get over Jill’s death, and for a long time I couldn’t think about her without getting either sad, or so angry that I wanted to punch something. But now what I remember are the good times we had, and how much we meant to each other. Honestly, even if I knew how it would end, I’d do it all over again.”
Amy’s vision blurred with tears, her heart was hurting for him and what he’d lost. “You and Jill had a once in a lifetime kind of love.”
“No. Not once in a lifetime.” Rick shook his head. “If that were true then it would mean I’d go through the rest of my life without ever falling in love again. And because I know what that feels like—how amazing it is—I won’t settle for a life without it.”
Amy blinked to keep her tears at bay. He was brave. Much more so than her. “I’ve never had a love like that,” she admitted. “I’ve never even been in love.”
His eyebrows lifted. “Never?”
“I can’t believe I told you that.” Her cheeks grew warm under his probing gaze. “You probably think there’s something wrong with me.”
“No. I think you’ve had a tough life and find it hard to trust anyone.” He reached out to cover her hand with his. “I can’t predict the future, but I can tell you that you can trust me not to deliberately hurt you or Danny. I care about you, about both of you, and I want to continue to spend time with you.”
The sincerity in his eyes made her believe anything was possible. “I want that too.”
“Okay. Now that we’ve got that settled, will you be my date to the Blaze Community Fund benefit? It’s a week from Thursday.”
“Benefit? That sounds fancy.”
“Well, it is a formal event.” A frown bunched between his eyebrows. “I should tell you that Trey will be there. He knows I’ve been seeing you, but he only knows you’re the Amy he met at the club. He doesn’t know you’re also the Amy that works at Logan-Johnson. Will that be a problem?”
“Do you think he’ll keep the fact I’m moonlighting quiet?”
“He will if I ask him to.”
“There’s no red carpet type of thing, is there? I hate having my picture taken.”
“The team will have some sort of media there, but they’re easy to avoid. I’m not much for that kind of thing either.”
Amy hesitated, torn between wanting to be with him and her fear of being with him at such a public event. Still, if they were able to avoid the media, it would be like any other party. “I’ll have to check with Lucia first,” she said, making her decision. “I don’t want to assume she’s always available to watch Danny. But if she’s okay with it, then I...I’d love to go with you.” She opened her purse and pulled out her phone. “I should do it now, though. I hate to ask her at the last minute.”
Rick stood. “While you’re doing that I’ll go check on Danny. Who knows? He might have decided to ta
ke up weightlifting while I was gone.”
Amy laughed, and then called Lucia, who, as it turned out was more than happy to watch Danny so that Amy could go on a date. She was putting her phone back in her purse when Rick and Danny returned to the clubhouse.
Danny’s glove was cradled in a towel in his hands. “I have to let it sit out overnight.”
She pushed up from the recliner and ruffled his hair with her fingers. “You can put it on the kitchen counter when we get home.”
After Rick walked with them to the parking garage, Amy loaded Danny and his glove into the car and then closed the door. She’d parked next to Rick; he stood next to her by the door of his SUV.
“Will Danny be at the youth center on Wednesday?”
She nodded. “Lucia will drop him off around noon. Next week, when he goes back to school, he’ll be back on his regular schedule.”
“Have him bring his glove. The oil isn’t the only thing he needs to do to break it in. I’ll play catch with him so he can get used to using it.”
“I’ll let him know.” She touched his arm. “Thank you for...today...for last night. For everything.”
“I enjoyed every minute of it.” He lifted his hand and gently caressed her cheek. “I want to see you before the benefit. Maybe we can do something during the day this weekend?”
“I’d like that.”
He glanced toward her car. “We have an audience so I won’t kiss you like I would if we were alone,” he said then leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek. “But all bets are off the next time I see you.”
A profound sense of happiness filled her. “I can’t wait.”
On the drive back to their apartment the only thing Danny could talk about was the batting cage, the clubhouse, and how awesome Rick was. It wasn’t until they’d made it home and he became enthralled in one of those over-the-top wrestling matches that he finally calmed down.
After washing the dishes and pans Rick had used for the crepes, Amy sat at the breakfast bar and turned on her tablet to check her bank balance. The rent check was due and thanks to her New Year’s Eve tips she’d have more than enough in her account to cover it. The email icon flashed, indicating she’d received a message. She opened it and when she saw the sender’s name in the inbox, her heart started to pound so hard she could barely breathe. For several seconds she considered deleting it, but curiosity superseded apprehension. She clicked on the message and began to read.
Amy,
I’m not sure if you still use this email address, but I thought you should know there’s been a man going around town asking questions about you. He came into the diner last week but I didn’t tell him a damn thing. I’m not sure where you are now, but it’s got to be better than here. You didn’t deserve what Bryce’s friends and family did to you. I hope you and Danny are okay.
Take care,
Robyn.
Although Amy had never expected to hear from anyone in Barstow ever again, the fact that Robyn had thought to warn her indicated that at least one person in town didn’t think she was a horrible person. She and Robyn had been co-workers at the diner when she found out she was pregnant with Danny. Then, when she needed to find a place to live after she graduated, Robyn had invited her to move in with her and share expenses. Things were going well until, in dire need of money, Amy had taken a job at Rowdy’s and Robyn hadn’t approved.
Not that Amy blamed her. Working at a strip club had never been one of her life goals, but it was good money. Way more money than she made at the diner. She didn’t have health insurance and Danny’s visits to the doctor for checkups and vaccinations had depleted what little savings she had. She had tried to get a credit card and was quickly denied. Which, in hindsight, was probably for the best or she might have ended up deeply in debt.
So she’d done what she had to do. The most important thing was Danny. One of her fellow dancers at the club had two young children and she was able to leave Danny with the woman’s babysitter for a nominal amount. The money she made in tips was enough that in six months she’d been able to save up enough to move out of Robyn’s bungalow and rent a small two-bedroom apartment for her and Danny.
Her tenure at Rowdy’s lasted three years. Then, tired of the club and its seedy atmosphere, she found a job working as an assistant to a broker at a real estate firm. It was there she’d met and started dating Bryce Barrow, which turned out to be the worst mistake of her life. And that was saying something.
Putting a hand to her chest, she reread the email, unable to stop the wave of anger that washed over her. There was only one person that would send a man to Barstow to investigate her.
Kirby Ferrara.
The woman was sick. Totally deranged. Who did something like this over a minor incident at a nightclub? And of course it had to happen now. Just when Danny was flourishing. Just when she’d met Rick. Just when she was happy.
Damn the woman.
What the hell was she supposed to do now? Leave San Francisco? Or stay and hope that Kirby would lose interest in trying to ruin her life? When it came right down to it, she hadn’t done anything wrong. Or illegal. Wasn’t running away the cowards’ way out? Wasn’t it letting Kirby and her vindictiveness win?
Yes. But the thought of Rick finding out about the strip club, not to mention everything that had happened afterward, struck fear into her heart. Rick was good and kind, and a celebrity in San Francisco. Her past could damage his reputation. She couldn’t do that to him. She wouldn’t do that to him. After everything he’d been through, he didn’t deserve it.
Confessing to Rick about her past would be hard, and could ruin things between them. But unless she wanted to run from her past for the rest of her life she had no other choice.
She had to tell Rick the truth. And soon.
16
After a long night of tossing and turning in her bed, and a busy morning at Logan-Johnson, Amy sat across from Jade in Starbucks and sipped her latte while her friend digested the news about Robyn’s email and Amy’s decision to tell Rick about her past. The store’s holiday music had been replaced with soft jazz. But if the music was intended to mellow out their customers, it wasn’t working its magic on her. There was no relief from the heavy weight that had settled on her chest.
“When are you going to tell him?”
Amy peered at Jade over her cup. “Every time I think about it I break into a cold sweat.”
“Why are you so worried?”
“Gee, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m not proud of taking my clothes off for money in front of a bunch of lecherous men,” she said, then gave Jade a tight but apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve my sarcasm. But it’s not just the strip club. There’s the whole sordid mess with Bryce.”
“You had nothing to do with that.”
“The majority of people in Barstow believe otherwise,” Amy said, setting her cup on the table.
Jade leaned forward, her eyes flashing with annoyance. “Who cares what they think?”
“I didn’t until Danny started getting teased and bullied in school. That was when I realized that it’s not just about me. It’s about my son. He shouldn’t have to pay for the mistakes I’ve made. He’s been so happy here. He has friends again and he’s doing well in school. If everything comes out now, it could hurt him.”
“Rick wouldn’t broadcast it.”
Amy sighed. She agreed with Jade. Rick wouldn’t tell anyone. He would never hurt Danny like that. But when he found out it might change his perception of her, and that was what was tying her up in knots. “Kirby Ferrara would.”
Jade’s mouth twisted with distaste. “Are you sure she’s behind the guy in Barstow asking questions about you?”
“I’m not sure about anything.” Amy lifted her cup and downed the rest of her latte. “But it doesn’t matter who’s behind it. I should have known it would come out eventually.”
“You’re not thinking of leaving San Francisco, are you?”
“It crossed my mind. But I can’t run forever. I have to hope if it comes out it won’t affect Danny. I can handle the stares and the whispers,” Amy said, squeezing her cup so hard it crumpled in her hand. “I’ve done it before.”
Jade studied her with solemn eyes. “Okay, back to my original question—when are you going to tell Rick?”
“I’ll do it on Sunday. The parents of one of Danny’s school friends invited him to go with them on a day trip to the Monterey Aquarium. He’s leaving early and won’t be home until around six. Rick and I are taking the ferry over to Sausalito to have lunch.”
“I know you’re worried, but give Rick a little credit. He knows what kind of person you are. I don’t believe your past is going to change anything between you. But he’s got to hear it from you, not someone else. Trust me on that.”
Three days later, Amy couldn’t forget Jade’s words. They echoed in her head at the Ferry Building as she and Rick boarded the ferry and they hovered in the back of her mind when she sat across from him at the Spinnaker restaurant in Sausalito, eating a lovely meal she could barely taste, while gazing at a view of San Francisco that at any other time would have taken her breath away. And they were her constant companions as she and Rick strolled along the sidewalks of downtown Sausalito, holding hands and window shopping. It should have been a perfect day, but it wasn’t. The unusually clear sky was a direct contrast to the cloud of doom that had hung over her ever since she’d received Robyn’s email. Knowing she had to come clean with Rick was one thing, but actually doing it was another.
She had almost brought up her past during the ferry ride back to the city. They’d roamed around the boat, then found a secluded set of seats and had the small area to themselves. But then Rick had kissed her and she couldn’t bear the thought of ruining their intimate moment.
There was still time, though. Rick had invited her to his loft and now, as she walked beside him down the hallway painted a pale blue and decorated with large abstract art canvases, her racing heart left her almost breathless.
Playing for Keeps (Feeling the Heat Book 6) Page 20