“He found out about Bryce, didn’t he?” Danny’s chin quivered. “Does he think you’re a bad person like the people in Barstow did?”
“No.” She slipped her arm around him and hugged him. “No, Danny. He doesn’t think that at all. He doesn’t care about all that stuff. He knows I would never hurt anyone. This isn’t about Bryce’s death at all.”
“Then why doesn’t he want to be your boyfriend?” He looked up at her, tears welling in his eyes. “Is it because of me? He wasn’t at the youth center on Friday. They said he called in sick. But maybe it’s ‘cause he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore.” His voice broke as he buried his face against her chest.
“No. No way. It isn’t about you at all. Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to and it’s no one’s fault. So don’t blame Rick, he’s a good man,” she said, as she rubbed his back to soothe him. Several minutes later, he pulled back and his tear-stained face broke her heart. “It’ll be okay, sweetie. I promise.”
“No it won’t.” He sniffed. “I wanted Rick to be my dad. I even had a dream about it.”
“Oh, Danny.” A heavy weight settled on her chest. Her son was hurting because of her fear and lack of trust. “I’m sorry,” she whispered as she hugged him tighter. “I’m so sorry.”
Early Wednesday morning, Rick sat across from Trey at the St. Francis Fountain diner staring morosely at his plate. The country breakfast was his favorite, but today, the homemade biscuits smothered in sausage gravy held no appeal. After being holed up in his loft since Friday afternoon, he had grudgingly accepted Trey’s invitation to breakfast. But as soon as he’d stepped into the diner he’d regretted it. The diner now reminded him of Amy and the day they’d stopped by to eat before their date at Golden Gate Park.
“Will you be at the foundation meeting tomorrow?”
Rick looked up and found Trey staring at him intently. “What meeting?”
Trey shook his head as he reached for the salt shaker. “You need to read your emails more often. Jade arranged a meeting for us to review the applicants for the director of operations position. We’ll choose the top five candidates and she’ll schedule their interview appointments before we leave for spring training. She said we can use Logan-Johnson’s conference room and suggested that Adam join us on the interview panel. I think it’s a good idea. What do you think?”
“Whatever you and Jade decide is fine,” Rick said, his attention on the booth where he and Amy had shared lunch. It was empty now. As empty as his life had become since he’d let Amy walk away from him in the Blaze gym. It hadn’t even been a week, yet it seemed like a year.
“We decided to get married.”
“That’s good.”
“I knocked her up.”
“Great,” Rick said, then frowned and looked at Trey. “Wait. What did you say?”
“You really are out of it,” Trey muttered. “What happened between you and Amy after you left the press conference?”
Rick pushed his plate aside, then leaned back against his chair. “We’re not seeing each other anymore.”
“You can’t accept her past?”
“It’s not that.”
Trey cocked his head and frowned. “Then what is it?”
“She should have told me about her past, and she should have known that I wouldn’t hold it against her.”
“So you’re saying she should be a mind reader?” Trey picked up his fork.
“No.” Rick scowled. Why was Trey taking Amy’s side, damn it? “She said she tried to tell me but she was afraid I’d judge her.”
Trey looked up, leveling Rick with a direct gaze. “Sounds like a legitimate fear to me.”
“Why are you defending her?”
“Because people still think I tried to rape Ava McCandless, even after she recanted and was charged with filing a false police report. I don’t get asked about it at pressers after games anymore, but I still hear it from people in the stands. Especially at away games. If you Google my name, that incident is the first thing that pops up.” Trey’s eyes flared with anger. “I threw a fucking perfect game the day that news broke, but I never got to enjoy it. That accomplishment and our World Series win that season were tainted by those false charges. So yeah, I understand why Amy would be afraid to tell you about her past,” Trey said, then shoveled a forkful of scrambled eggs into his mouth.
“It’s not the same thing. If she’d told me, I wouldn’t have been blindsided at the press conference last week. I would have been prepared.” And if Jill had told him how unhappy she’d been she wouldn’t have had to turn to another man. Now two women who’d claimed to care about him hadn’t trusted him enough to be honest with him.
“Okay. I get it. This is all about you,” Trey said, after swallowing his eggs. “You were embarrassed at the presser and now you can’t cut Amy some slack.”
“No. And it’s not just about her past. We got serious way too fast.”
Trey pointed his fork at him. “That’s bullshit.”
“The hell it is,” Rick said, then continued in a lower voice after two elderly women at a nearby table sent him a disapproving look. “We’ve only known each other since early November.”
“Aren’t you the one who told me you fell in love with Jill the first time you saw her?”
“That’s different. We were kids.”
“So what? You married her, didn’t you? Who’s to say you can’t fall for someone else as quickly as you fell for Jill?”
Rick rolled his eyes. “Says the guy who’s never had a serious relationship in his life.”
“Oh, wait. Did I hit a nerve?” Trey asked with a smug grin.
“No. You pissed me off. You’re not a shrink, so don’t lecture me. About Amy or anything else.”
Trey studied him for a few seconds, the muscle in his jaw twitching like he was fighting not to react. “You got it,” he finally said, then reached over and stabbed his fork into Rick’s biscuit and stole it off of his plate. “Thanks for the fucking biscuit.”
Several hours later, Rick was still annoyed with Trey, but Trey wasn’t on his mind as he trailed behind the dozen or so kids that had joined him on the grassy field behind the youth center for a rousing game of kickball. He hadn’t seen Danny for a week. On Friday, he’d been in no mood for his volunteer shift at the youth center and had called in to say he wasn’t feeling well. The truth was he was still shell-shocked by the press conference, the scene in the gym with Amy, and his conversation with Merilee. He’d needed to regroup before he saw Danny again. Today, when Danny had ignored him, then didn’t join his friends for the kickball game, it was apparent that Amy had said something to her son about their relationship.
As the kids dispersed in the main room, Rick replaced the ball in the large bin in the corner, then headed for the table near the door to the lobby where Danny sat by himself, pencil in hand, evidently working on his homework.
“Hey.” Rick halted at the table. Danny looked up and instead of his usual wide cheerful smile, his mouth was set in a tight grim line. “You didn’t come outside for our activity this afternoon. Are you all right?”
Danny nodded, then lowered his gaze to the worksheet in front of him. “I didn’t bring my glove.”
“We played kickball today, but you can bring it on Friday.” Rick pulled out the chair opposite Danny and settled onto it. “We’ll have a catch.”
“I can’t,” Danny said, his eyes still downcast.
“Why?”
“Because I threw your stupid glove in the garbage, that’s why.” Danny looked up and pinned Rick with an accusing glare. “Mom said you decided not to be boyfriend and girlfriend. I thought you liked us.”
“I do like you. And I like your mom, too. I care about both of you.”
“You said you wouldn’t be mean to my mom, but you were. She didn’t say it, but I can tell. She looks like she did before. Really sad.”
“I’m sorry, Danny.”
“That’s what Mom
said after I told her I wanted you to be my dad.” Danny’s eyes welled with tears. “But I don’t want that anymore. Me and Mom have each other. We’re a team. The best team. That’s what she always said. We don’t need anyone else.” A tear rolled down Danny’s cheek, he brushed it away with the back of his hand then jumped to his feet and shoved his paper and pencil into his backpack. “You’re just like all the mean people in Barstow and I hope you don’t hit any home runs this season,” he said, then turned and ran to join his friends Archer and Becca, who’d commandeered a table by the window.
Stunned, Rick sagged against the back of the chair. He’d expected Danny to be disappointed that he and Amy wouldn’t be dating anymore, but what the boy was feeling was much stronger than disappointment. Amy had feared her son would get too attached to him and she’d been right. That Danny had wanted him to be his dad spoke volumes. Danny’s pain was his fault. He’d rushed into a relationship with Amy and ended up hurting an innocent child. Now Danny wanted nothing to do with him and Rick couldn’t blame him.
She looks like she did before. Really sad.
Rick closed his eyes and let his head fall back. Yeah…he knew that feeling.
20
Amy leaned across the breakfast bar and topped off Jade’s mug. “How was your date last night?” she asked as she returned the pot to the coffeemaker. “I hope you had more fun than I did at Stylus. It was a madhouse.”
“Oh, it was great.” Jade poured vanilla creamer into her cup and stirred it with a spoon. “Until his wife showed up,” she added dryly as she set the spoon on a napkin on the counter.
Amy’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. And are you surprised? I have the worst luck with men.” Jade sipped her coffee, then peered at Amy over the rim of her mug. “And get this. After the wife reads him the riot act and they leave me in the restaurant to pay the bill, he had the nerve to text me this morning.”
“Was it a dick pic?”
“Worse. It was a video of him jerking off.”
Amy cringed as she rounded the breakfast bar and slid on the stool next to Jade. “You do have the worst luck with men.” She wrapped her fingers around her mug and sighed. “I hope Danny doesn’t do stuff like that when he’s older.”
“He won’t. Not with you as his mom.”
“Thanks, but I’m not feeling like the world’s best mom at the moment. Danny’s been withdrawn ever since I told him Rick and I aren’t seeing each other anymore. He asked if he could go straight to your mom’s house instead of the youth center last Friday after school. I think he’s trying to avoid Rick.”
Jade glanced at her watch. “Where is Danny? He’s usually up by now.”
“He’s in his bedroom watching weather videos on his tablet.” Amy lifted her mug and sipped her coffee. “For some reason he’s suddenly interested in tornadoes. But at least he hasn’t lost his appetite. He asked if I would make French toast for breakfast. You’re more than welcome to stay and eat with us.”
“Thanks, but I can’t. I’m meeting someone for brunch in an hour.”
Amy shifted on her stool and gave her friend a quick once-over. So that’s why Jade wasn’t wearing her usual Sunday attire of yoga pants, tank top, and a fleece hoodie. “Another date?” she asked with a raised brow.
“Yes. There’s a guy I’ve been texting with for a couple of weeks. He seems nice and doesn’t seem so self-absorbed.” Jade shrugged and set her mug on the counter. “I figured I’d give it one last shot. If he turns out to be a douchebag like the last two losers, I’m done. No more dating for me.”
“Isn’t that what you said the last time?” Amy asked with a wry smile.
“Yeah, but this time I mean it. I’m at the point where I’d rather stay home and read a good book. And when I want a baby, there’s always the sperm bank.”
Amy blinked in surprise at Jade’s statement. “Hold on. You’ve never talked about having children before.”
“I was always too busy to think about kids. But now that I’m not juggling grad school and my job at Logan-Johnson, I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I realized that I do want to have children. That’s why I’ve been going on these crappy dates. I want what my parents have.” Jade tucked her hair behind her ear and sighed. “It’s so hard to find someone I like let alone someone I could fall in love with.”
“What’s worse is finding that person and then losing them.” Amy took another sip of her now tepid coffee. She grimaced and set the mug down.
“So there’s no chance of you and Rick getting back together?”
“No. It’s over.”
Jade reached out and gave Amy’s forearm a reassuring squeeze. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s my own fault for being too afraid to tell Rick the truth.”
A half-hour later, after Jade had left for her brunch date, Amy sat at the breakfast counter entering her tip totals from Friday and Saturday into a notebook when Danny padded out of his room and sprawled on the couch, its springs squeaking as he made himself comfortable.
“Can I watch TV?”
“No.” Amy closed her notebook and set her pen on top of it. Sliding off the stool, she grabbed the glove she’d discovered in the trash can this morning and moved to the living room. She set the baseball glove on the coffee table. “Care to tell me why you threw your glove away?”
Danny scrambled into a sitting position and stared at the glove for several seconds, then averted his eyes to study the carpet. “I didn’t want it anymore.”
“Because Rick gave it to you?” she asked. Danny nodded, but remained silent. “How would you feel if I tossed the necklace you gave me for Christmas in the trash?” She lifted her hand to finger the pendent around her neck.
Danny squirmed on the cushion, then looked up at her with a guilty expression on his face. “I’d feel sad.”
“I think that’s how Rick would feel if he knew what you did with the gift he gave you.” She skirted the coffee table and sat next to him. “I understand you’re disappointed that things didn’t work out between me and Rick, but he gave you the glove because he cares about you and wanted to make you happy. Throwing it away because you’re angry is disrespectful.”
“I know, but I was mad at him.” Danny’s lower lip started to tremble. “Why didn’t he want us anymore? What did I do wrong?”
Amy’s heart clenched with a mixture of sadness and guilt. She was part of the reason her son was so unhappy. “Honey, you didn’t do anything wrong,” she said, brushing his bed-mussed hair out of his eyes. “Adult relationships are complicated and sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to. But that doesn’t mean Rick doesn’t care about you. And avoiding him at the youth center isn’t going to make you feel better. I know that’s why you didn’t want to go there after school on Friday.”
Lowering his head, Danny grabbed the belt of his robe and started twisting it with his fingers. “Mom, I did a bad thing,” he whispered, then looked up at her, his eyes swimming with tears. “Rick was trying to talk to me and I told him I threw his glove away.” He paused as the tears spilled from his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. “And then I told him I hoped he wouldn’t hit any home runs this season. I was really mean to him.”
Amy wiped away the wetness on his cheeks with her fingers. “You were upset. But I think if you apologize to Rick on Wednesday when you see him at the youth center, he’ll understand and you can be friends again.”
A flicker of hope flashed in his eyes. “Do you really think so?”
“I do.” She smiled and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close. He relaxed against her for several seconds before tilting his head back to look at her.
“I wish I could tell him now. Can we call him?”
“That’s probably not a good idea,” she said. “Wednesday will come soon enough.”
A frown creased his forehead, but a second later it was gone and a smile curved his mouth. “Okay. I guess. That’ll give me time to thin
k of what to say.”
“I’m proud of you, Danny.” Amy smiled and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “So very proud.”
On Monday, Rick pulled his SUV into his parking space and killed the engine. Leaning his head against the headrest, he made no move to open the door. With spring training just around the corner, he’d stepped up his workouts and today he and Trey had worked out for several hours with Trey’s personal trainer. Although he’d always prided himself on his intensity and focus in the gym, today he’d be the first to admit that he’d half-assed it. Neither Trey nor the trainer had said anything to him, but he’d caught the two of them exchanging puzzled glances throughout their grueling workout.
After they’d showered and dressed, Trey had invited him to join them at Kamu’s for an early dinner, but Rick had begged off claiming he had errands to run. In actuality, he didn’t have jack shit to do, but he didn’t feel like being sociable. He also wasn’t hungry, but after the intense workout he couldn’t go without food, so he’d stopped on the way back to the loft to pick up a chicken burrito at his favorite Mexican restaurant. While he waited for the cook to prepare it, he sat at the bar staring at a basketball game on the television screen. When the server brought him the burrito, he’d changed his mind and ended up eating it while sitting alone at the bar. He’d finished it without really tasting it, and couldn’t even remember which teams he’d watched battling it out on the television.
When he left the restaurant a heavy rain had begun to fall. Immediately, he’d thought of Danny. Ever since last week, all he could think about was the wounded expression on Danny’s face when he’d tried to talk to him. When Danny didn’t show up at the youth center on Friday, Rick had considered calling Amy to check on him, but he’d been unable to follow through. He was still angry she hadn’t trusted him enough to tell him about her past, and he was pissed at himself for rushing into a relationship with her. Talking to her would only remind him of his lack of judgement and her inability to be honest.
Playing for Keeps (Feeling the Heat Book 6) Page 26