by Marlon James
—Lilith, get up! She say. Lilith awake but she asleep.
—Lilith! Listen to me when me talking to you, chile, now get up, the devil waiting.
—Lilith!
Homer go over to the bed and pull Lilith. She bawl out little bit, but get up. She wobble. Homer hold her up by the door. Homer wrap the coins in the red cloth and shove it down between Lilith bosom.
—Now listen to me, chile, Homer say. Lilith start to blubber and Homer slap her. Lilith bawl out again.
—Shut you mouth and listen! Round the back of the mill be a passage, it don’t look like no passage sake of no carriage pass round there no more, but look good and you can still make it out. Go down that trail and turn at the river, you have to run through the river so that you lose you smell, so the dogs, Lilith listen! So the dogs can’t follow you. Then come back from the river, don’t cross it, come back and go south. Continue south and you’d soon see a hut. Stay there till nightfall when me send for you. You hearing me? Stay there! Stay there till we fix some other—
The door swing open and slam against the wall. Robert Quinn step in. Homer quiet herself and step back.
—Take those off, he say.
Lilith don’t know what he mean.
—Take those off at once! Robert Quinn say. Homer and Lilith never hear this voice before. Robert Quinn don’t wait. He go over to Lilith, grab the dress by the bosom and pull. The dress rip and Lilith two breast tumble out and coins sprinkle ’pon the floor.
—Lawd o’ massy, have mercy ’pon the chile, Massa Quinn. Have mercy, Homer say and run toward him. She touch Robert Quinn shoulder and Quinn strike her hard, so hard that she stagger back.
—Don’t assume familiarity with me, woman, Robert Quinn say. Homer touch her chin, her eye wide open.
Lilith pull down the rest of her dress. Her waist wrap with white cloth. Her neck have so much bruise that it look like a quilt. Lilith did turn into a full woman and nobody knew. Her body beat down and her eye still swell, but her breasts strong and pointed. The two stand up where her eye would have. Robert Quinn see. Robert Quinn get to see that nigger flesh will find even the slightest thing to stand up, even a maggot-full, rotten chop-off foot. Robert Quinn grab Lilith by the hand and push her out the door. He go to the doorway but swing around quick.
—Do not follow, Quinn say.
—Me remember where me place be, massa. Me and the tea, Homer say. Robert Quinn pause for a little, then step out.
Outside, three Johnny-jumper grab Lilith. One grab her two arms and the other grab for her foot. A third negro, short, fat and squat, move past her foot and grab Lilith pussy. Lilith kick him with her free foot. The squat negro go to thump her but a whip crack across him back and put a stop to that quick.
—Shall I be whipping one nigger this day or two? Robert Quinn say.
To the right of the great house be a cotton tree where all the negroes gather. This was three days after New Year’s Day, and white folk and nigger folk have different expectation. Massa Humphrey sitting on the terrace with Miss Isobel. The two negroes carry Lilith to the cotton tree. She struggling and she bawling and she screaming. Work stop and all the negroes gather to watch. Some of the womens don’t look. They bind Lilith hand tight with a long piece of rope. A Johnny-jumper throw the long end over a high branch and the other two pull her up. Lilith scream again. Homer don’t leave her room. Lilith muttering and chattering. Some of the negroes look at her like somebody they just remember to forget. Robert Quinn nod.
—This be for the uppity nigger who be thinking he or she can be hurting the massa and him folks. This be proper disciplining right here so, the fat squat negro say. Robert Quinn nod again. The taller negro curl out the whip like a long animal tongue. Bullwhip. Negro rather burn from the breath of Satan than get that. Miss Isobel looking. One or two nigger smile when they see Lilith back smooth for the last time. The tall negro swing and the whip lash Lilith straight cross her back. Lilith scream so hard that she cough. The negro lash her again. Lilith struggling ’gainst the rope and her legs swing wild like hanging man. Some people watch her face, some watch her breast, and some watch her arse and pussy. The negro lash Lilith again and her eye start to go back into her head. The new pain wake up the old pain that the massa done give her. She bawling like a girl, not a woman, and she screaming. The negro swinging the whip wide and it curl round her back and slice her breast. Robert Quinn go up to the tall negro and slap him head with the thick end of the whip.
—The back only, ye stupid coon, Quinn say. Some laugh as the negro thank Quinn for the lick. Lilith close her eye. Seven more lash and she stop scream. Lilith swing and the rope creaking. Thirty lash and they cut her down. She fall in the dirt and stain the ground with blood.
Lilith get ten lash every day Miss Isobel come calling, which be twice that week. Now that the ball be over, it didn’t seem proper for a lady to come too often to a gentleman house, not even a lady from the colonies. But as be the way of other things in the colony, some rules of Mother England get toss away like crinoline. Plus, she didn’t have no chaperoning as that woman take to bed even after the injury heal. She bawl ’bout her injury all the time as reason not to leave bed and Miss Isobel confess to Massa Humphrey that she was not a even a little sad to be rid of her.
Lilith know that each day getting darker and darker for her. After a week, negroes stop come to her whipping, even them that glad she get what was coming to her. Everybody just know the scream. The frighten wild beast scream that ring throughout the estate and the field and the boiling house and the kitchen, twice a week at around the two o’ clock hour. The negro scream that white people don’t hear because it never stop late lunch or early afternoon tea. A negro scream be like a pig scream. A negro scream be like a dog whistle. A negro scream be like wind. Soon she stop scream. When the time come for the whipping she don’t even need nobody to get her. She go to the tree early and raise her hands up. She stop cry and only wince when the lash too hard. She used to look in the sky, but by the third week she look straight at Robert Quinn and watch him look away. When they cut the rope, she drop to the ground and pick herself up. She stand and stagger a little, but still stand. Lilith raise her chin and walk over to her bundle of clothes. She put them on herself and Robert Quinn see fresh blood press through the old blood on the dress. Lilith don’t say nothing and go back to the cellar. Every three of four step she limp, and one time she nearly drop, but her chin still raise.
Two nights a week, six black womens go to Homer room and mix brine, comfrey and sinkle-bible to rub into Lilith back. Even Callisto. Homer and Pallas sing a song in a tongue that be known only to them. Then they sing like negro.
Fi me love have lion heart
Fi me love have lion heart
Fi me love have lion heart
Only fi you
And the other womens come in on the back of the song.
Fi we love will never die
Fi we love will never die
Fi we love will never die
Only fi you
Lilith will hear the song and feel the drum click on they tongue and heal her back. The womens light a secret fire and spirits dance on the wall. Olokun, owner of the seas and god of water healing, and even Anansi, the spider god and trickster. The womens call on Oya, the river goddess of the Niger and wife of Shango. They call on the river mama to plead to the god of thunder and lightning to cast a thunder-stone from the sky to the field and give them powers. The womens go to the river where Oshún be waiting. The time be the night, but the moon big and bright and the river and the trees dress up in silver. The womens down by the river with Homer, all who come from slave that lay with Jack Wilkins. The womens who all have white and black in they blood with the power of two.
Then later than that, Homer read to the womens and teach the womens how to read. Homer take out the book that she steal from Massa Humphrey library, Joseph Andrews. Right where the Lady Booby first try to get him to see ’bout her cho-cho, but Joseph blind to her
intentions—or so it seem. But there always be a time, some time winding before daybreak when the talking slip past Lilith. When though she be amongst them, she not with them at all. Six tell six tell six. When they talking get inside every woman but she and they be conversing ’bout deeper things. She listening but she can’t hear. Homer do most of the talking while the other womens nod or say yes, but is not schooling or church. Six tell six tell six. Sometimes a word or a bunch of words would slip through like a night snake and gone as soon as it come.
—Word from Worthy Park?
—Word be dem rising but dey did have to tell couple man.
—Man. Shit. Me can’t abide manfolk, y’know. Me don’t like it.
—Dem don’t have womenfolk like we. Most of dem fool-fool or breedin’.
—You can’t trust a man.
—Homer, you worried ’bout Worthy Park? Jackson Lands worried ’bout we.
—They say that?
—Me hear it. Ever since Circe dead.
—Tell Jackson to worry ’bout Jackson and mind they bloodclaat business.
Lilith perplex. She know she seeing Homer but not sure she hearing Homer. Her eyes red like fire and her mouth too. Homer don’t cuss. Homer is Homer because she don’t cuss like common nigger. They talking ’bout other estate and she don’t understand it.
One morning Lilith feel roughness on her skin and wake up. She scream. Four or five white man with whip round they neck and no clothes all over her, biting into her skin. The whips turn into snakes. They all have straight hair, one brown, one yellow and one red, but nobody got eye or nose or mouth. Two spread her legs and jump between her. Him skin cold and scaly and the snake slither off him neck. As the snake set to bite, Lilith wake up for real.
People come to know Lilith as the woman with the quilt on her back. One day, soon before whipping time, Lilith look out the kitchen window and see two people stirring up dust as they march toward the house. Wilkins got no call to talk to nobody since the Obeah business, so most people look twice when they see him. Homer go outside to look and Lilith follow her. As they pass the kitchen, Lilith see Jack Wilkins wearing a wide straw hat followed by Mrs. Wilkins, who protesting he should not be moving about in this weather or fussing about the massa business.
Jack Wilkins limping. Him face red like beet and he lookin’ both skinny and apoplectic. Jack Wilkins don’t look at Lilith, but Mrs. Wilkins, once she see her, didn’t take her eyes off her, not until she walk right into her husband back when he stop. Lilith not sure what Mrs. Wilkins’ eyes telling her. Perhaps something that be woman things, perhaps shame or anger or jealousy or something she don’t grow into yet. The two go up the great house steps, where Jack Wilkins demand that he see Massa Humphrey.
—On what business? Robert Quinn ask, since he be on the terrace.
—Nothing that concerns the likes of an Irishman, Jack Wilkins say. Neither Lilith nor Homer see Robert Quinn face after that remark. The two go up the stairs and step inside. Nobody know what correspond between Jack Wilkins and Massa Humphrey, but they know this. After the two meet, nobody ever whip Lilith again.
Soon Lilith take to wearing clothes that look like Homer hand-me-down. Lilith look at Massa Humphrey and Robert Quinn and see the same thing. Robert Quinn see her looking at him different and don’t say nothing to her no more. One time when Lilith was passing by with rubbish from the kitchen, the same Johnny-jumpers who whip her start to mock her. Lilith say to nobody in particular that scar only make the skin stronger but there be no whip, in hand or in a pants, that goin’ knock her down again.
The fat, squat Johnny-jumper don’t know what she mean but he don’t like how Lilith get uppity as if she better than he. He ask her them same words, you think you better than me, cow?
—Me don’t know what call you have to use word like think, Lilith say.—After all, dog like you never think once.
The man jump up from him stump and the other mens stop laugh. He stomp toward Lilith but as he go to grab her, the fat squat man stop and stagger back. Him eye blaze white and he start tremble something awful. He yelp like a sick dog and run away, still yelping as he drop two time in the dirt.
Lilith foot thinking before her head. This be the early morning hour but the sun already hot and burning down a nigger back. For a long time Lilith try to not take stock of what she know, what Homer and the other womens tell her. But for the longest time, even before white man whip a quilt on her back, she feel something missing, something she don’t know if she to look for. Mayhaps a man. Whether that man be a pappy, massa or lover, she start to wonder. Maybe she just want any white man to be close. Maybe she just want something that make her eyes make sense. Lilith wasn’t expecting no more deep thinking. Her life did boil down to two things, workin’ and whippin’. But Jack Wilkins make himself present one day like he just appear out of the dust and the whipping stop. Surely, she say to herself, sure even now you know to stop read anything in the action of white people. Surely. But there her two foots be, making up they mind when her own mind not doing nothing. The foots stop. She tell herself that as for she, she would never come to this place, what with every white man having the hankering to whip her, but there she be.
Jack Wilkins’ house.
—Took your own goddamn nigger time, he say.—Neither whip nor cat’ll teach you monkeys anything about haste, that’s your tragedy.
He seated out on the porch like he be waiting for her all this time. But that be him custom from the days when he reign over the estate. Lilith look at him looking at her. Now he have no control over Montpelier, but he still out on the porch every morning, looking out and waiting for him pitcher of lemonade mix with rum, and cuss ’cause the wife can’t make it as good as Homer. Wilkins’ hat off and the top of him head bald. Him shirt open right down to the waist but him white chest hair so bushy it look like he got another shirt underneath. He leaning back in the chair with him foots up on the balustrade. Wilkins look like everybody know he old save he.
Lilith still. She at the foot of the step and can feel the dirt under her foot. The shadow from the step cool. She can’t think to say nothing so she just still. Lilith force herself to look up but he not looking at her.
—Only the almighty knows why he set me up with a woman more barren than Jesus’ wilderness, he say.—Instead, he gave me a litter of niggers. Guess it’s my fault for not keeping me sticker in me breeches, eh?
Lilith don’t say nothing.
—I remember your mother, yes I do.
Lilith look up at the man. He not smiling.
—She . . . Like the bloody second plague. Never knew I could go sick from the sight of blood. ’Tis a wonder that you’re not red yourself. Why have you come?
—Me . . . me . . . me don’t know, massa.
—I hope ’tis not looking for a pappy to buy you gifts and marry you off to a gentleman. For if that’s what you seek, then you’re an even darker nigger than you look.
Lilith don’t say nothing. He look at her for a long time. She don’t know for sure, for she not looking at him, but she can feel him on her. Not like a pappy, though; only Tantalus did do that for a little while. He all over her like a man and she feel naked. She feel him testing her skin and prying apart her arse and grabbing to check how plump her pussy be. She feel him looking on her like a massa.
—Ever heard about me father? he say.—He would have been stunned by the likes of you, he would have. Didn’t take very kindly to the abuse of niggers, as I recall. No, an upstanding gentleman he was, given to calling niggers Africa men, if me memory serves me right. Mind you, memory doesn’t serve me naught these days.
—Weak. The son of a bitch was weak.
Lilith don’t say nothing. Her mind waiting, for what she don’t know. Her mind a-taken, like it be when she first start think ’bout Massa Humphrey.
—Lilith. Named you meself. Did you know Adam had a first wife before Eve? Called her Lilith, but the bitch was too headstrong so got rid of her, he did. Headstrong, another w
ord for uppity. You uppity?
Lilith don’t say nothing.
—Speak up! Damn you.
—No. No, massa.
—Then why in all fuckery do you think you can come to me house unsummoned? Do you think I owe you something then, is that what you’re thinkin’?
—No, massa.
—A wicked son of a bitch, that’s what the lord will call me. Not even the devil ever met the likes of me, I’ll tell you that much. But God, there’s a sum’bitch if there ever was. Saddle me with a barren bitch of a wife and nothing but niggers calling me pappy. Your mammy didn’t want nothing in this world but for men like me to leave her be. Now I . . . I couldn’t get the blood off. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get her blood off. I couldn’t get her...
Lilith look up again and see him, it seem like for the first time. He take him legs off the balustrade and try to stand up, but either he weak or he drunk or he both. He lookin’ like a man who need help. Lilith don’t know what to do. Her mind still waiting for something from him but she don’t know what.
—Begone! he say.
Lilith don’t tell nobody where she go. Not even Homer.
A morning come whereby Homer rush in the room all fussing and Lilith, who just wake and heading to the kitchen, don’t know why Homer acting the way she act. Homer head usually high and her chin straight and her voice even. But this be the second time she flutter high and low like a girl who don’t know the wise ways of woman yet. Like she ’fraid.
—What is to be done? she say. What is to be done?
Lilith don’t like when she talking that way. Like a fussy white woman.
—It must be according to your strength, Homer say.
—All they goin’ do is open up a old scar when they whip me, Lilith say.
—They not goin’ whip you, girl chile, Homer say.
—Oh, so they goin’ kill me now for sure. Me good as dead anyway, Lilith say. I know I wasn’t goin’ be too long for this world. Watch me if I don’t curse every single one them backra bastard for—