by Marlon James
28
SO IT COME TO PASS THAT NOBODY COULD FIND ATHENA. LILITH know what happen. Or at least she know what Homer know. Lilith wondering if Athena actually guilty, for Homer looking lately like she who would do something terrible just over what somebody might do. Sometimes Homer talk to her dead pickneys, telling them that they going back to the baba-pla as soon as they can rest in peace. The rest she say in Africa-speak and Lilith stop trying to figure out what she mean. Most time, Homer do this early in the morning when she alone in the kitchen and Lilith by the door outside, listening for what Homer saying to herself. Sometimes Homer chant, sometimes she very silent save for sniffling and moaning. Whenever she do that Lilith try to imagine what her children used to look like, if they was skinny and grey like Homer.
Lilith up early in the morning because her mind heavy again. Homer and Miss Isobel. Seem death pull and pull away at woman until all she have left is her common sense. But then death pull that away too. One woman drinking laudanum and the other want to drink blood. Lilith don’t want to go inside the kitchen to talk to Homer, so she go back to Robert Quinn quarters. On the way back she pass by the greenhouse. That early in the morning Lilith don’t expect nobody but as she pass by she hear a voice. Gorgon, she think, either talking in her sleep or getting rut by some dirty little niggerman. Lilith think about this and can’t picture any man rutting that midget. This make Lilith curiouser. Lilith hear the voice again, rough and gruff, like a little man, like Gorgon, but she hear another voice too, a sharp whisper that both loud and quiet. Callisto. The third voice she can’t reckon. But she know that she know it. She know well enough to not like that voice at all. Lilith push herself up to the window and look inside. There beyond row and row and shelf and pot of hibiscus and rose and tulip and bougainvillea, they whispering and talking: Gorgon, Callisto and Iphigenia. Gorgon excitable as usual, swinging her hands up and down and jabbing as if she stabbing cow. Callisto shake her head and touch Gorgon shoulder. Gorgon push her off. Callisto slap Gorgon shoulder and Gorgon yelp. She go to rush Callisto but Iphigenia jump in the way and hold her back, saying something that Lilith can’t hear. Then Iphigenia say something, looking first at Gorgon and then at Callisto. Both hold they head down low until Iphigenia done talk. Then they quiet. Then Callisto say something and Gorgon nod. Iphigenia smile and go to say something but she look up suddenly. Lilith stoop down quick and wonder if she get catch. Gorgon she could outrun and Iphigenia, but not Callisto. She hear they voices again and look up slow. Iphigenia again doing the talking. Callisto finger on her mouth as she nod yes. Gorgon mouth say something that look like now. Lilith sure. Then they set to leave and Lilith jump. She look left and right and have nowhere to go. The doorway in her direction. Lilith rush to the side of the greenhouse, moving round the side as they coming, almost step for step. She hide by the side as they leave.
—Bitch have it coming, Gorgon say.
Lilith wait until they out of earshot. There be only one nigger on this estate that Gorgon, Callisto and Iphigenia all hate.
She run back to Robert Quinn quarters. Lilith all sweaty and trembling and she touch her chest trying to calm herself. Gorgon, Iphigenia and Callisto all plotting ’gainst her. But how she to know? As much as they can’t stand Lilith, she don’t give none of them niggers reason to fix her business. Lilith can’t imagine what she do. She start to think that she reading two meaning out of one word, that she becoming Homer. Then she remember that most of them did angry that Homer did break the six and add on a seven again, ’specially since the last number seven was that bitch Circe. But Circe not a turncoat at all, just not the monster nigger that Homer want. Lilith look round for the biggest, sharpest knife in the kitchen. A hand grab her by the waist and she scream. Robert Quinn laugh as he lift her up.
—Lord, lassie, ’tis only me. Wasn’t going to trouble ye, but since yer up, fix us some breakfast, luv, he say.
Robert Quinn gone off to the field and Lilith figuring that since Callisto and Iphigenia work outdoors, she don’t have need to fear them two. That leave Gorgon. Lilith think about Callisto and Gorgon and hate them more, especially Gorgon because she just add one more thing to make her mind heavy. Maybe is heaviness that driving Homer to talk to her dead pickney, cooing like they be baby one minute and chanting like they be African spirit the other. But Gorgon is a coward, Lilith come to see, and she not goin’ act alone. At least so she hope. Lilith start to wonder if there be anywhere that she goin’ have a little peace. And the only person that make her smile is a white devil that used to whip her. She want to hate him for taking her into the room of white woman feelings because a nigger know that sooner or later something or someone goin’ remind her that she black. Maybe Callisto. Maybe Quinn. Now that he staying, one more weight get put on her back and she can’t stand it. Sometimes she wish the great God would come and flood out everybody again. The field, the estate and the county. The country and the world. Maybe everybody start again and slave is free and free is slave. She chuckle.
Lilith in the kitchen trying to get Homer alone. No sign of Athena. Miss Isobel come down and ask where she be and Homer say that she sickly bad and confine to her hut. Miss Isobel ask to see her and Homer say that she too sickly ma’am, with the flux, a lady like you the flux will kill for sure. At first Miss Isobel screw up her face. Lilith remember that Miss Isobel know nigger ways and nobody fool her about bloody flux the last time. Lilith feel her heart beating but Homer still like a tree. Then Miss Isobel turn to go back upstairs, the flask sticking through her dress like a third titty.
—Pigskin bitch. You can smell it ’pon her a mile away, Homer whisper to Lilith.
—Pig smell?
—Paregoric. What, you is the only nigger that don’t smell it too?
—Not paregoric, laudanum, Lilith say, but not to Homer.
Homer mixing batter in a bowl for cake.
—Soon come the mistress birthday, Homer say.—Cake coming today, present coming tomorrow.
Lilith wonder if that was Homer talking like Homer.
—We need to have words, Lilith whisper.
—We need to have words, eh? Me don’t think you have nothing me need.
—Eehi? You think so, how about you needing me to keep quiet?
Homer mixing the batter but she look up a Lilith. Her eyes red but pale. Lilith look at Homer brows and her hair getting whiter.
—What evil deh ’pon you now? Homer say.
—Me’d tell you but wall have ears and floor love chat, Lilith say, looking at Pallas.
—Didi.
—Dido they call me. Get the name right one time, the little girl say.
—Dido, dodo, doo-doo, go on mix this till you can’t see no more grain, Homer say as she hand over the batter to a girl that Lilith not sure she see before. Outside they commence to walking but not so far that a driver would ask what business they have outside of the house.
—What happen to the old girl?
Homer laugh.—You in Massa Quinn bed too long, she say.
—And you too . . . You know what? I can’t bother.
—The old girl is a no-girl now. Some uncanniness happen where Miss Isobel clothes all cover in mud and stink with liquor and whatever and the mistress say is the girl thief out her clothes to parade around and do nastiness and then try to put it back in her room when the mistress catch her.
—What?
—What is right. Thieving is serious business on this estate. Johnny-jumpers deal with her quick.
—All this happen and me never know?
—That be the way with you of late. Anyway, me have cake to bake so talk you talk.
—Where Athena be?
—Athena be where she can best help the struggle. This is what you call me out for, woman?
—What you do to her?
—Look around you, chile. How you think this goin’ end? Anyway, you don’t seem to have no reason for taking up me time so me gone—
—Callisto and Gorgon plotting something.
> —Eehi.
—Callisto, Gorgon and Iphigenia.
—Surely.
—Me see for meself. This morning in the planthouse.
—You see them plotting.
—That is what me say.
Homer pause for a long while. Then she turn and go. Lilith go after her.
—That is it? That is all you have to say? Me say they plotting.
—And me hear you.
—How you know they not plotting they own thing? Against you?
—Well, Homer say and pause.—We all soon know what we know.
Homer go to leave but Lilith grab her hand.—Put a end to it, Homer. This getting out of hand.
—For why? All you care ’bout is Mr. Irish.
—And all you care ’bout is dead pickney. As soon as you hear them dead, you dead too.
—Leggo me bloodcloth hand if you know what good for you.
Lilith let go and Homer continue to walk. Then she stop.—Besides, that ship sail off already. Nothing we can do ’bout it now, she say. You goin’ tell the estates and tell the niggers to forget free? You think any nigger want to spend they days under white man but you? Lilith watch her go back to the kitchen. She remember a Homer who use to walk so fast that she almost fly and had a back so straight that she seem like her own wall. Not this Homer now.
Lilith go back to her house. She go the door and hear somebody rummaging through the cupboard. She smile.
—If massa not hungry for one thing, he hungry for anoth—
Gorgon jump. She drop a knife. Homer say it before but she didn’t notice it, how Gorgon ’fraid of her since she come back.
—What you want?
—Me no want nothing from you. Me gone to Worthy Park Estate since dem don’t know how fi grow flower. Homer say to tell you—
—Me just see Homer.
—Homer say—
—You deaf, midget? Me say me just see her. Anything she need to tell me she can tell me her damn self.
—You goin’ want to know when next we meet.
—Two day hence.
—No. Tonight.
Night promising to come and Lilith dreading. Not even Robert Quinn latest mission, to teach her how to read this John Donne, can take her mind off the dread. Perhaps Quinn sense something or not, but he don’t say. He go to sleep with Lilith resting on him chest. She wait until he start to snore.
In the kitchen, Lilith grab a knife. She swing and dash and jab and cut in the dark. Then she imagine jumping a woman, grabbing her hair and slashing her throat. But Lilith know there is nothing she can do about six womens. And who knows, maybe they after somebody else. Maybe they after Homer. And even if is Lilith, she kill plenty people already so they better watch out. Lilith make the badness push her out the door, but fear was making her slower. She step one foot then the next in the grass. A owl fly past with a big rat in her claws. Lilith put the knife in her apron and set out for the cave.
By Lilith own reckoning, seven people dead because of her. Eight when she count the poor nigger girl who get lynched for what she do. Maybe she sick with murderer madness, she think. Lilith curse her mind that give her the madness to kill, then leave her with nothing to live with being a killer. The number stop her as she walk. She look at her hand and don’t see no monster. Don’t every niggerwoman have blood on they hands? Mayhaps that be the nigger way. This colony always one step away from bloodshed anyway and mayhaps she not different, no better, no worse than any other soul. Then another Lilith raise her voice, a Lilith that silent for the most part, to say that it is evil whitey who dead, a son of a bitch like Massa Roget and a plain bitch like Mistress Roget, and a dead whitey can’t hurt nobody. And them two boys would have just grow up to become monsters raping and killing negroes, as be the desire of every white man in the colony.
But the other Lilith say, You stupid nigger, memory tricking you. Is not seven or eight, is nine. Lilith remember the eye first, then the nose and the mouth and even her pussy and arse spitting blood on her little daughter. Andromeda, who dead over nothing but a dress that Lilith get whip and rape by white man for. Maybe she be not the child of Jack Wilkins but Satan himself. Seven souls, she thinking. Nine souls. What kind of woman can walk right after killing seven souls? Nine souls. And what about Bessy, the old nigger woman from Coulibre? Was she nine or ten? And what about that jumper nigger the first time? The sound of numbers run around her head and Lilith in the darkness and can’t remember if she set the fire because McClusky dingus go up in her pussy or the Massa Roget finger, or if the mistress whip her or Miss Isobel. Homer said this ’bout the girl who they think burn down the house: you can’t kill so many people and don’t kill a part of yourself too. Homer said that once, but not to Lilith.
At the mouth of the cave Lilith feel for the knife in her apron. A weak light flickering inside, light from one candle. Lilith don’t hear no voice. Perhaps an ambush waiting in the cave. She feel for the knife again, thinking that she should take the thing out or at least grab the handle.
—Move, a voice say.
—If you know wha’ good fi you, say another.
Gorgon. Gorgon behind Callisto so her mouth free. Lilith grip the handle of the knife tighter as she step into the cave and move towards the light. She feel other people behind her and wish she could run. She think to draw the knife but the blade might glint even in the weak light and give her away too quick. Lilith wonder if this is justice, if God finally decide to deal with her. If dead niggerwoman and broke-neck white woman and drowning white man and burnin’ pickneys all laughing and waiting for her to come knocking at hell gateway. Lilith stop and somebody push her down.
—Well, look who decide to finally join we, Homer say.
Lilith move over to the side and make sure her back to the rock.
—Worthy Park nigger let loose that plot afoot in Montego Bay. Most of the militia heading west, Callisto say.
—Good.
—Not so good. Word also spreading ’bout Montpelier, that we might frig things up.
—Who the raas say that?
—Nobody have to say nothing. Me not sure me hear one straight plan from you yet, other than to do what everybody doin’, Callisto say. Nothing but silence follow her.—Who we killing first, massa or mistress? Where we setting fire to, east or west? Cane field or ratoon? What we goin do ’bout the other Montpelier turncoat niggers? Where everybody heading when they flee, through the river or over the Blue Mountain? You do anything but tell we nigger verse?
Homer look ’pon Callisto for a long time. Lilith trying to read her face but it lost in the dark. Pallas looking on the ground and Gorgon look up and down and sideway.
—Tell Worthy Park—
—Mayhaps you tell them youself.
—Oh. Is so it go. Everybody bright and uppity nowadays. Is you plan this whole bloodclaat thing or is me? Is you bring everybody here or is me? Is you make you hungry for free or is me?
—Cool yourself, Homer. We don’t—
—Don’t tell me to cool meself! Me be the head nigger here! Me!
Everybody quiet and looking round at each other. Lilith watching from the side, trying to pick Homer out in the dim light. Homer stop pace.
—Worthy Park nigger got no call to talk ’bout me, no damn call! Them same damn fool go tell white man the plan last year. White man! Take two nigger to fix that backra business and one more to make it look like mishap.
Homer start to laugh.
—Backra won’t know what clock a-strike when we cut him throat, Homer say.
—Eehi? Callisto say.—Maybe backra laughing already.
—Enough with you, Homer say.
—Pallas, some people here so chummy with white people dat dey tongue loose. Loose like dey mouth turn whore, Callisto say, but Pallas don’t say nothing.
Lilith feel for the knife in her apron and grab the handle. She push herself further back into the rock. Pallas fidget, Iphigenia start chuckle and Hippolyta stand off by the light. Lilith feel her hea
rt about to burst through her bosom.
—Somebody here done love slave life so much that nobody can come between her and backra loving.
—Callisto, chat you chat and stop trying to be Homer, Pallas say.
—Eehi. Seem Homer perfect picking not so perfect. A Judas nigger in here. Right in here wid we.
Homer not saying nothing.
—Who? Pallas say.
—She, Gorgon say and point.
Lilith jump. She scream and Callisto appear from the dark behind Iphigenia, grab her by the hair and pull back, then slice right cross her throat. Blood splash on Pallas. Callisto let go and Iphigenia clutch her throat, stagger right into the rock and drop to the ground.
Homer jump too.—Jesus Christ! What the bloodcloth you doing? What the bloodcloth unu doing!
—The woman was a turncoat, fool, Callisto say.
—What you just call me? Homer say.
—Fool me just call you, you fool, Callisto say.—You same one don’t know when clock a-strike. You know how long this bitch betraying we? From you bring her in. Every week she send word to Judas nigger in Jackson Lands to pass on to the massa. She thinking massa goin’ give her reward for all that she know. Only that Judas nigger wasn’t no Judas. She play one that so we can see who the betrayers be. See her there. Iphigenia. Damn fool. Last night we tell her say is Hippolyta we coming for.
Hippolyta jump.
—’Cause of that she think she safe. Then the bitch run to the fence to tell Jackson Lands nigger everything. Gorgon go that estate today and the nigger tell her everything Iphigenia tell she.
Iphigenia still shaking on the ground, garbling blood and trying to clutch her throat, but blood flow past her fingers like flood. Her blood black in the dim light. Her head strike the ground. Homer stiff like a wall. She walk straight over to Gorgon and slap her. Gorgon dash after her like a wild dog but Pallas get in the way. Gorgon push her off and go after Homer, who stand still.
—Cool you bloodcloth foot! Callisto say. Gorgon stop. Lilith gripping the knife hard.
—The river. The river down by the end of that trail. Put a rock in her petticoat and tie up the ends. Then throw her in the water, Homer say. She trying to be calm but her voice seesaw. Homer sit down on the chair and say nothing else. She stare off in the dark and look at Lilith once.