by Travis Bughi
War, he thought. This is my fate.
“Emily,” Takeo whispered. “That’s why I’m here. All she wanted was to save people. She wanted to stop Jabbar from turning Lucifan to ash, to free slaves, and to bring a measure of justice to the world. She was the sword the angels couldn’t wield. She was their weapon against time. She defied this natural order you speak of.”
“And she paid the price. Lucifan lives. Jabbar is dead. Now the world suffers from the backlash of her actions.”
“This is not her fault,” Takeo shouted, whirling on the sennin. “She didn’t cause this.” Takeo leapt to his feet and pointed out to the horizon, as if the sickness of this time was written plainly there.
Beside him, Gavin fell back at the sudden rage that consumed the once calm samurai. Even Takeo knew in his mind that he was breaking his second rule, to remain calm, but he could not stop himself.
“Jabbar’s death caused this,” the wind replied calmly. “Cruel though he might have been, he removed the world’s stability and replaced it with himself. When Emily killed him, she shattered the world in the same blow. A world ruled by a tyrant is not the best one, but it is not the worst. Anarchy, chaos, and mayhem are upon us—or at least that is what you would call it. I, and my kind, would call it change.”
“Change,” Takeo repeated, as if the word was disgusting. “Savara ravages its last free citizens. Juatwa finds peace only to be cast into the flames again. Lucifan’s clueless and innocent people leap into chaos. Are you really to tell me that this is proper and right? That change, real change, can only happen when innocent blood is spilled? I’ve never heard such a lie in all my life. I’ve destroyed innocence. I’ve soaked the land in blood with my own hands. I’ve killed and killed again, and not once did I ever feel the world improved because of it. Maybe I cut out the bad a few times, sure, but the world never improves with death.”
The sennin and the wind lay still.
“I want to stop this,” Takeo said, realization seizing him. “I see it now. I know why I’m here. All this fighting, all this death, it’s something I’ve faced ever since I was born. I always hated it, yet never felt that I could be anything other than a part of it. Emily changed that. She showed me I could fight for more. She showed me I could, truly, fight in the name of good.”
Takeo slumped down to his knees again. His eyes stared at the dirt, but in his head, he saw a life with meaning.
“Emily didn’t start this war, but I will finish it,” he whispered. “If this land must change, then so shall I. Without a leader, or an army, or a government of some kind, each and every person in this world becomes a target for the next hungry cutthroat to come along and take what they want. What the angels did for Lucifan, I will do for the world. That is why I am here.”
“Now you know.” The wind seemed to smile. “And now you know that if you do this, it will cost you.”
“I do not fear death,” Takeo said. “I will embrace it, eagerly. This is something I would die for.”
“You say that now, but does your companion?”
“Gladly,” Gavin said in a heartbeat, slamming a fist to his chest. “If Emily was the angels’ sword, as Takeo said, then I am their shield. I would stand by Takeo and die alongside him to end this suffering.”
“Noble.” The wind rushed by them. “But what if only one of you is to die?”
Takeo and Gavin turned slowly to each other. Their minds raced, trying to calculate the odds of whom it would be.
“And, what if I told you that it will be one who kills the other?”
Takeo’s heart skipped, and a flash of ice poured through his veins. Gavin’s look of determination and confidence faded instantly to one of shock and disbelief. They recoiled from each other, unable to accept that either would do such a thing.
“This is the question you came for,” the wind continued. “This is why you are here. I leave you with a warning. If you continue on this path, you shall be successful. The world will know peace for the first time in ages. However, nothing is without cost.”
“Which one of us kills the other?” Takeo asked.
“Does it matter?”
Takeo thought for a moment, trying to picture what would be worse: dying by Gavin’s hand or seeing Gavin dead by his own. He couldn’t come to a conclusion. They both seemed a nightmare.
“I suppose not,” Takeo sighed.
“Then you have your answer.” The wind began to fade. “What you choose to do with it is your own making.”
A final gust of wind swept up a handful of dirt and scattered it into the air. Takeo and Gavin both turned their heads, and when they looked back, the sennin was gone. There wasn’t even an indent in the dirt where it’d been sitting.
Raw silence followed, eerie and ominous despite the bright morning air and the clear skies. Takeo and Gavin shared another look, awash in dread, and then broke the gaze. Takeo couldn’t picture killing this knight, nor could he picture Gavin betraying him. It was inconceivable.
Yet, it was foretold.
“Wait!” Krunk shouted.
Takeo glanced up to see Krunk crawling along the dirt, covered in his own vomit, one hand reaching out toward the empty air. Beside him, Nicholas was spitting and wiping his mouth with a dirt- and puke-covered arm, his hair and beard made wild by the wind. Takeo sighed. He could tell the two hadn’t heard a thing that had passed between them and the sennin. The poor, innocent Krunk, how could he ever forgive Takeo if he killed Gavin?
He had to make it up to the brute somehow.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Takeo muttered under his breath, then raised his head to shout. “Wait! One last question. The ogre, uh. If. . . How many . . . poops, has the ogre had in his life?”
All four of them went completely still.
Krunk’s eyes glistened. Takeo held his head in shame. Gavin stared, stunned. Nicholas paused mid spit.
The wind spoke.
“Four thousand, three hundred and eighty-five.”
Chapter 24
Despite their low supplies, they decided to camp atop the mountain that night. Nicholas and Krunk suggested eating the yuki-onna, but Takeo didn’t know whether or not the creatures were poisonous. They all decided they weren’t hungry enough to find out. After all, the lack of supplies wasn’t as harrowing now that they were headed back down. It took considerably less energy to repel down a mountainside than it did to climb it.
The snow returned, as did the fog, so they mentally mapped out their path for the morning before calling it a night. As expected, Nicholas and Krunk assaulted Takeo and Gavin with questions about what the sennin had said. Neither of the two had heard a thing, and Takeo and Gavin both sidestepped the questions until Nicholas got angry.
“Hey!” the viking said, pointing a finger at Takeo. “When I came along with you, I had only one requirement: you tell me the truth. Don’t back out now, or I’ll leave.”
Takeo considered a lie. Where he and Gavin were going most certainly spelled death. Perhaps the sennin hadn’t specified that Nicholas or Krunk would die, but that was how war went. Someone always died. It would have been for the best, but Takeo just couldn’t bring himself to go back on his word. He went with a partial truth instead.
“The sennin warned that if we continue on our path we will be going against the natural order of things. We will bring peace to the world, but in exchange, one of us, either Gavin or me, will die. He said nothing about you two, though.”
“That’s it?” Nicholas’ jaw hung open. “He threatened you with death?”
“Silly, right?” Gavin forced a smile and shrugged.
“I thought you said these sennin things were wise?” Nicholas laughed. “Threatening a samurai with death? You warriors live to die. And Gavin, well, you’re always bragging about how little you have to live for.”
“Thanks,” Gavin said.
“Well hey, I’m just saying.” Nicholas shrugged. “World peace in exchange for death? I’m in! My story will live
on forever. Haha!”
Nicholas raised his massive arms and hands into the dark sky and took in a deep breath as if he could feel the fame of his legendary status rain down upon him.
Meanwhile, Gavin looked sidelong at Krunk. The ogre seemed in a daze ever since his question was answered, but he was focused enough to give a response.
“Ogres don’t live long,” Krunk said. “Death no scare Krunk too much. Just scared of being scared.”
“We’ll have to work on that, then,” Takeo replied. “That’s the one thing you shouldn’t fear.”
“Ah, damn it!” Gavin yelled suddenly.
“What?” all the others said.
“Nothing, I was just looking for something, and I can’t find it,” Gavin sighed, searching through his pack. “It must have dropped. I’ll be right back.”
Gavin stood and brushed himself off, then stumbled into the fog, but he stopped just shy of invisibility.
“On second thought, I shouldn’t wander alone again,” he mused. “Takeo?”
“Huh?”
“Care to join me?” Gavin motioned with a hand.
Takeo blinked. “I, uh, I suppose?”
They cut through openings and over rocks until they found a ledge that seemed far enough away. They hunched down behind a rock wall and listened for several minutes to see if they’d been followed.
“You know, for a second there, I almost believed you’d lost something,” Takeo said.
“I’m a rather good liar when I want to be,” Gavin replied, a hint of pride in his voice. “Never been much of a murderer though.”
Takeo sighed and let his black, straight hair fall over his eyes. He diligently kept it shoulder length, which was how long it’d been the first time Emily had cut it, on the night he’d fallen in love with her.
“Straight to it, huh?” Takeo said.
“Wouldn’t you prefer that?”
“I would.”
Another pause ensued, each of them expecting the other to go.
“Takeo—”
“I think—”
They stopped. Some awkward shuffling and hand gestures later, Gavin groaned.
“Fine, I’ll have at it,” the knight said. “I don’t think I can do this, Takeo. I can’t imagine myself going through with this. I . . . I just . . . I can’t . . . I . . . This isn’t making much sense. Here, let me explain something. Let me tell you why I’m dead certain that I don’t have what it takes to kill you, even if doing so could somehow, inexplicably, save the world, whatever that means. Did Emily ever tell you why Sir Mark O’Conner is still alive?”
“Briefly.”
“Well, let me go over it, then,” Gavin said. “I’ll start by saying there was no love lost between us. I hated him, he hated me, and when he got turned into a vampire, he begged me on his hands and knees to end his life. I had every reason to do it, too. He betrayed the angels, assisted Count Drowin, and even gave the order to have me executed. Every fiber of my being wanted him dead. He was crawling along the stone floor, smoldering in the sun’s light, just begging and ordering me to kill him. Emily expected me to do it, the other knights and that amazon, too, all waiting for me to deliver the killing blow. Yet I couldn’t do it. I could not, in cold blood, murder him. I let him live, and the crazy thing is, even to this day, I don’t regret it.
“Now here I am, sitting next you, and the problem seems ten times worse. That sennin swears that if we travel down this road, one of us will end the other, and I just know it won’t be me who does the deed.”
“Gavin, how can you know that?” Takeo said. “You’ve killed before.”
“I’ve killed strangers, criminals, mercenaries, yeah,” Gavin nodded, “all in the heat of combat. I’m not unrealistic when it comes to fighting. However, I’ve never executed someone, and I doubt I ever will, but let me explain why I’m so certain. I’ll have to go back a bit in time, so just bear with me here.
“When Emily left me, I was broken, but I didn’t truly shatter until she returned with you at her side. See, when she left, I held on to this silly dream that she would come back to me. I imagined her coming across the ocean, falling into my arms, kissing me and telling me over and over how sorry she was to have ever left. I repeated the words in my mind: how I loved her, how I forgave her, and how we would be together forever. Then she did come back, and in my place, stood you. Of all the people who could have taken her love, it was you. The last I’d seen you, you’d almost killed her, and now you two were in love? I’d never felt such pain. I don’t think I will again.
“See, if the sennin had told me, there and then, that one of us would kill the other, I’d have done the deed right away. I’d have stabbed you in your heart—assuming I could find it—and claimed Emily like some viking. However, that was a good three years ago. Things have, well, changed a bit.”
Gavin shook his head with a chuckle, drew up his knees, and hung his head between them.
“This is going to sound crazy,” Gavin said to the rock beneath him. “Really, if you call me insane, I won’t blame you. The fact is, Takeo, after spending all this time with you, I get it now. I understand why Emily left me for you. I see why she fell for you. I . . . I’ve fallen for you.”
Takeo balked, and Gavin quickly thrust out an open palm.
“Strictly platonic, relax,” the knight added. “I haven’t gone full Nicholas on you. However, like I said, you, you’re an alright guy, Takeo. You’ve been to hell and back, and I admire you for it. The things you’ve seen, the life you’ve led, makes me feel like I got it easy. Anyone else in your place would be bitter, angry, and vengeful. You though? You’re levelheaded and honest. You just all around want to make a positive difference in the world. You know what else I like about you?”
“My good looks?” Takeo said. He intended to be funny, but his tone made it sound more like self-pity.
“Sure, why not.” Gavin shrugged. “No, seriously though. I like your integrity. You hold yourself accountable to your own standards whether anyone is watching or not. I always struggled with that, but it came naturally to Duncan, and it seems to come naturally to you. I admire you for it.
“Thing is, Takeo, I’m proud to call you my friend. I’d even go so far as to say you’re my best friend alive today. Maybe even my only friend alive today, if I want to be honest with myself. I couldn’t kill you any more than I could kill myself. I value you. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, well . . . screw the world. If I have to kill you to save it, then the world is going to burn.”
They stayed quiet for a few moments, letting the fog roll by them in the dark. Takeo knew it was his turn to say something, but he couldn’t find the words. He was a good storyteller, or at least that’s what people said, but he always struggled with emotions. He’d been trained for too long and too well to bury all traces of them.
So, after what felt like an eternity, he just spoke his mind.
“Honestly, Gavin, I could kill you,” Takeo said. “I can’t picture it, but I know that if it came down to it, I could do it. It would ruin me, that much I’m certain of, but I have too much purpose built into me to avoid doing the deed. The thing is, even though I could do it, I don’t want to. I really, really don’t want to. Almost to the point where I’m in the same boat as you. I could almost say screw the world and let it burn.”
“Almost,” Gavin echoed.
“Almost,” Takeo whispered.
Another gap of silence passed between them, this one dark.
“But you should know something,” Takeo said. “You speak of Emily and how you get why she fell for me. Well, personally, after having spent this time with you, I think Emily got it all wrong. I think she should have stayed on that dock with you, in your arms, and never left. If she had done that, she’d be alive right now, happy, and you two would have such a life together that none of us will ever be able to enjoy.
“See, I’m a doomed soul. I’ve known it all my life. However, you and Emily had a chance at something unt
il I came along and wrecked it. Sure, she might have pulled me out of the fire, but now that she’s dead, it’s only a matter of time before those flames consume me again. Actually, darkness—darkness is the analogy I like to use. It’s like Emily was the sun that brought light for the first time in my life. Without her, the darkness will claim me again.
“You say you can’t kill me, not in cold blood, but who’s to say things will turn out that way? You never know, Gavin. Sometime from now, you and I might stare at each other from opposite armies, meet each other on the battlefield, and decide the fate of this world. Now, wouldn’t that be something? Hell, by that time, we might even look forward to it. Sure, we can’t kill each other now, but the sennin didn’t put a time limit on this. For all we know, our duel could be fifty years from now. Perhaps to enter Valhalla. Perhaps just because one of us must kill the other, a self-fulfilling prophecy.
“All I’m saying is to give it time. Maybe killing me to save the world won’t seem like such a bad thing.”
Gavin drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. The fog was darker, and the night grew a tad colder. They wouldn’t be able to stay away from the fire much longer. They were starting to shake.
“I still trust you more than I trust myself,” Gavin said. “If you say to give it time, I’ll give it time. We’ll go across the sea and search for a rakshasa—two of them—but I’m warning you, Takeo. When it comes down to it, when you hold my life in one hand and the world’s in the other, you had better not hesitate. Don’t drag out my suffering.”
“You underestimate yourself, Gavin,” Takeo answered. “The vikings have a saying for this: fate is inexorable.”
Epilogue
The last time Belen had been amongst the elves, she’d been a prisoner, bound by those she’d once called sisters. It had been degrading, but more than that, she had felt betrayed and hopeless. She’d struggled with the realization that she was about to be convicted and killed for a crime she did not commit. The realization that her darling husband, so full of purpose and pride, would never hold her in his arms again. Outwardly, she’d been a being of hatred, spite, and loathing. Inwardly, she’d been dying.