His injured lip curved in a smile.
Chapter Six
Callie checked her watch. Six forty. He would be here soon.
She stood before the mirror in her childhood bedroom, wondering for the umpteenth time if she ought to change. Maybe the shirt she had on was too low-cut, too clingy. Would Danny think she was trying to come on to him? Ridiculous, she told herself. She had worn this same shirt many times before and never worried about how she looked.
Then again, maybe it was too casual. But they were unlikely to go anywhere tonight that had a dress code, right? It was just an evening with two friends hanging out together.
She frowned at her reflection. The jeans had to go. Sliding the pants down her hips, she kicked them off and returned to her closet. She hadn’t brought much with her from New York, and now she wished she had taken the time to pack more thoroughly. She pulled a summery skirt off a hanger and stepped into it. It was cute, breezy. A good choice for a warm evening. And if it showed off a fair amount of leg, well, she could live with that.
Fine, she thought, checking herself out in the mirror from every angle. Good enough. She had to stop stressing over this. She stepped into a pair of strappy heels and then paused, her eyes lighting on her hair. Maybe the bun was too formal, like she was trying too hard. She took the pins out and let her dark hair tumble down around her shoulders. That was better, wasn’t it? Much more laid-back. Satisfied, she grabbed her purse from off the bed, and left the room, closing the door behind her.
A moment later she came back into the room and hastily put her hair back up again.
She couldn’t remember the last time she had been this nervous before a night out. Not since she was a teenager, maybe. What was it about coming home that made her feel like the past was only days behind her and not years? The line between past and present seemed to be blurring. She only hoped it wasn’t clouding her judgment.
“I could be back late, Mom, so don’t wait up. Say hi to your friend for me.” One of her mother’s friend’s from her church had made plans to dine in with Liddy tonight and watch movies. “If you need anything, I’ll leave my cell phone turned on.”
Her mother was on the couch with her leg propped up on pillows, reading a book. She glanced up as Callie descended the stairs, and she put the book down. “Oh, honey, you look lovely. Danny won’t know what hit him.”
“It’s not a date, Mom.”
Liddy shrugged and smiled, unconcerned. “Call it whatever you like. I just think it’s nice you two are getting a chance to spend some time together, that’s all. You are having fun, aren’t you?”
Callie looked out the window. No sign of him yet. “Yes, it’s good to see him,” she replied absently, her mind elsewhere as she considered different options for dinner. Was the old diner still here? she wondered. It would be a shame if it had been torn down and turned into some strip mall or something. It had been a popular place for teenagers to hang out back when she had been one. There were a lot of memories there, and she was in the mood for a little nostalgia.
“As I recall, you used to have quite a thing for Danny, didn’t you?”
“What?” Callie jerked her attention back to her mother. “I … What makes you think that?”
Liddy rolled her eyes. “Honey, please. I’m your mother. Of course I knew how you felt about him.”
Her cheeks grew warm, but she pretended not to care. “I was a teenager, Mom. It was just a crush, nothing more.”
“Maybe. But that was then, this is now. Would it really be such a bad thing if something happened between you two? Danny’s a good man, and I know for a fact that there are other women in this town who would give their right arm for a chance to go out with him.”
A flash of jealousy went through her. She turned back to the window to hide her feelings, hoping her mother hadn’t noticed the telltale signs in her face. “You running a dating service now?”
“No, I just keep current on local gossip. Danny’s considered quite the catch.”
“Well, I’m not trying to catch him, so please don’t try to force something that isn’t going to happen.”
“But — ”
“Danny and I are just old friends, nothing more.”
Her mother raised one eyebrow. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” she said stiffly, knowing as she said it that she wasn’t being completely honest.
“Oh, Callie,” Liddy said softly, and a little sadly, too. “You’re so bound and determined to keep your distance that you may wind up missing out on something wonderful. Don’t cut off your nose just to spite your face.”
Callie was silent. Her mother’s words hit her harder than she expected, and she felt suddenly afraid. She wasn’t sure of what.
Her mother continued, her voice almost hesitant. “Maybe it’s my fault. Sometimes I worry that I’m the reason you left. You were angry, and maybe you had a right to be. But what scares me now is the thought that it’s you who’s getting hurt, sweetheart.” She gave a little laugh, but it was one without much humor. “You’re your mother’s daughter, you know. Just as stubborn. And whether you believe it or not, I did what I thought was best concerning your father. Please don’t let old hurts hold you back.”
“I’m living the life I want.”
“By leaving. Your father made the same choice. It’s your choice to make, but please be sure you’re making it for the right reasons.” Liddy sighed and leaned back into the couch cushions, rubbing her head with one hand as if she had developed a headache. “There’s a lot you don’t understand about your father, Callie. And maybe it is time I told you, but not tonight.” She closed her eyes as the sound of a car turning into the driveway floated in through the window. “Danny’s here. Go out and have a good time. And keep yourself open to possibilities, honey.”
That was what her life was all about, wasn’t it? Staying open to the possibilities that sprang up before her? Having tremendous life experiences, creating a life worth writing about … She felt an unsettling flicker of doubt, though. Without another word, she walked out the front door, closing it behind her.
The sense of anticipation she had been feeling earlier about the evening out with Danny seemed to have dissipated, and the heat of the dwindling day felt suddenly oppressive. She ought to have been pleased that her mother seemed finally to be coming around to Callie’s point of view about her father, but the exchange with Liddy had left her feeling deflated instead. For a long time she had convinced herself that she was living the life she wanted — needed — and that she was happy with her choice. And there had been many moments along the way that she would not have traded for anything. But for the first time, she wondered what other moments she had missed out on in the process.
As she neared the end of the walkway, she looked up and saw Danny stepping out from his truck. For a second she forgot about the words she had exchanged with her mother.
Somehow he managed to pull off casual and striking at the same time. He would always be a jeans kind of man, but they certainly did look good on him. The cuffs of his ordinary white dress shirt had been rolled up, revealing tanned, muscled forearms, and as the corners of his mouth turned up in a warm smile of greeting, Callie felt her breath catch in her throat.
Who was she kidding? She would never be over him, not really.
His smile faded as she drew near enough for him to look into her eyes. “What’s wrong?”
She tried to force a smile, but knew it wasn’t very convincing. Instead of answering, she shrugged in dismissal and looked past him to his truck. “Ready to roll?”
Danny caught her arm, gently but firmly, as she started to brush past him. “Callie — ”
She had to suppress a shiver when he touched her. After what her mother had said about Danny tonight, it was impossible for her
not to imagine what it might be like if things were different between them. The nearness of him now made it hard to think clearly. “Let’s just go,” she pleaded, embarrassed that her voice wavered. “Please?”
After a long pause, during which she avoided his gaze, Danny released her arm. She reached for the door handle of the truck, but he beat her to it and opened it for her, a sweet, old-fashioned gesture that she secretly loved. As if tonight he saw her as a woman instead of just an old friend. She climbed into the truck and smoothed her skirt out as she waited for Danny to walk around to the driver’s side door. Her heart had sped up when he held her arm, and it hadn’t slowed back down yet.
Callie took a deep breath.
• • •
As he went around the back of his truck, Danny dug his nails into the palms of his hands in an effort to bring himself back to reality. She made looking beautiful seem so effortless, with casual locks of hair escaping from the pins in her hair and caressing her neck so invitingly, and her legs, bare in the summer heat …
He dug his fingernails in harder before he could finish that thought.
She was looking out her window when he got in the truck, her eyes on the front door of the house and her shoulders slumped. As he climbed in next to her, she quickly straightened her shoulders and put on a smile that he knew was a sham. Something was weighing on her. He had seen it in her face the moment their eyes met outside the house.
Danny turned the key in the ignition and put the vehicle in reverse. “Okay,” he said, backing it up and then maneuvering it out onto the road. “We’re going. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing,” she insisted, turning the smile up a notch. “I’m fine.”
“Bull. I know you, Callie.”
A strange look crossed her face at his words. “Do you?” she returned softly.
He turned his eyes back to the road. “I may not know everything that’s going on in your life now, but I know you. No matter how many tattoos you get.”
He didn’t have to look at her to know that she was still smiling, but now the smile was genuine. It pleased him to think he had made her feel at least a little bit better. “Mm,” was all she said.
“Tell me.”
She took some time, considering her words carefully. “I know I’m not the most dutiful daughter in the world, but I love my mom.”
“I know you do. And you’ve been a great help to her these past few weeks.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I know she loves me, too, but we’ve never been really close, you know? You’d have thought when Elliot died we would have turned to each other more, but — ” There was a catch in her voice. “It didn’t seem to work out that way. Sometimes it seems like we just tiptoe politely around each other.”
Liddy had confided something similar to him once, in a moment of what she probably thought of as weakness. For two women who had trouble communicating with each other, they seemed to have a lot in common. He just wasn’t sure that they realized it.
“Lately, though, things are more tense.”
“Why?”
“Because … I want to find my father.”
The circumstances under which Callie’s father had left his family had always been vague in Danny’s mind. Elliot hadn’t seemed to know much about it, or at least he had professed not to care much about it. Liddy certainly hadn’t shared any details with Danny, and it was hardly his place to pry.
“And your mom?”
“Doesn’t think it’s a good idea. She never has.”
He glanced over at her and saw her biting her lip. “Why not?”
Callie shrugged, and there was a flicker of anger in her face. “She won’t say. She won’t say much of anything about him. I don’t know if it was because of something she did, and she’s too ashamed to tell me, or — ” She hesitated.
“Or?”
“Or maybe … it was something about us? Elliot and me?”
“Ah, Callie,” he said, distressed by the hurt he heard in her voice. “You were just kids. It wasn’t your fault he left. I’m as sure of that as I am of anything. Sometimes married couples just aren’t able to make it work.”
“But if that’s all it was, why won’t she talk about it? Why wouldn’t she leave me a piece of him to remember him by? I can barely picture his face now, you know that? It was like she tried to erase him. She had no right to take him away from me so completely like that. I feel like there’s this whole other part of me that’s just missing.” She stopped abruptly, and clasped her hands together tightly in her lap. Her voice was clipped. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone off like that. It’s just been buried for a long time, I guess.”
“I think you needed to say it.”
She looked so forlorn, sitting there. Giving in to impulse, Danny reached out to take her hand in his own and squeeze it. She curled her fingers around his, and after a moment of hesitation, she leaned toward him to rest her head on his shoulder. Tentatively, at first, as if she wasn’t sure if it was all right. He squeezed her hand again, still held in his, and she relaxed against him. It was difficult for him to keep his attention on the road.
“I have this one memory,” she said, so softly he almost missed it. “My dad and me, walking somewhere. A park, maybe. I must have been very young, four or five. He held my hand for a while, and then he put me on his shoulders. I felt like a giant. He laughed at something; I don’t remember what.” Her voice was wistful. “He had such a nice laugh. I remember feeling happy then, like everything was just perfect.” Then she gave a sad little excuse for a chuckle. “Well, what does a five-year-old know about the world, anyway?”
No wonder coming home was hard for her. “Sometimes our parents don’t exactly live up to our childhood expectations, do they?”
“No, I suppose not.” Then he felt her raise her head from his shoulder. “Danny?” she asked hesitantly.
“Yes?”
She seemed to think better of whatever her question would have been. “Forget it,” she said. “None of my business.”
“No, what?”
“I just was wondering … what happened with your parents? In all the years we’ve known each other, I’ve never heard you say a word about them.”
It was a long time before he answered her. “That’s because they weren’t worth mentioning.”
“I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “Like I said, none of my business.”
“It’s all right,” he said. His voice was curt, but he hoped she knew it had nothing to do with her. He had been eight years old when he came to live with his grandfather in this town, and Miles had thought it best not to share much family history with friends and neighbors. Danny had followed his example. He had told Elliot some things, trusting his friend to keep them to himself, and Elliot had not let him down. Judging from the look on Callie’s face, her brother hadn’t even told her. “I envied you and Elliot when we were kids, you know that? I envied what you had with your mom.”
Callie was silent.
“I know you don’t remember much about your dad,” he continued, his eyes on the road and his voice flat. “I never even met mine. Don’t know anything about him. My mom was a junkie. She had lots of boyfriends — or maybe johns, I don’t know. It wasn’t exactly a model home life.” Home. The word hardly applied to any of the places they had lived. They had never stayed in one place long enough for any of them to ever feel like a home anyway, and his mother had left a string of angry landlords and unpaid rent behind her as she and Danny skipped from city to city.
Flashes of memory came to him that he thought he had long ago buried. Winters spent without heat or electricity, telltale rat droppings in corners of apartments that should have been condemned long ago …
Callie’s voice brought him back to the present. “She abused you?”
“I went hu
ngry a lot of the time, but I preferred the days when she forgot she had a son living under the same roof as her.”
“Oh, Danny,” Callie breathed in shock. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he said, clearing his throat. “That was a long time ago.”
“Did … did she die?”
“I don’t know. My grandfather got me out of there when I was eight. Some place back east. St. Louis, maybe, I don’t know. Haven’t seen or heard from her since.”
“Your grandfather got custody?”
“Well … sort of. He tried jumping through the right hoops first, but never got far. So finally he just came right out and asked her what it would take for her to give me up. She named a price. He emptied out his bank accounts.”
He heard Callie’s sharp intake of breath beside him.
“And then he brought me home.” Danny didn’t trust himself to speak any more about what had happened back then. The old man had saved him from hell on earth and had given him the first real safe place he had known. Words could only express so much anyway.
“And you let me go on about my problems. You should have just told me to button it.”
He grinned then and glanced over at her. She looked chagrined, sitting there beside him. “Hey, don’t look so worried,” he told her with a nudge. “It had a happy ending after all.” Then his smile faded, and he turned his face back to the road before she could notice the sadness that he thought might have shown in his eyes.
“Did Elliot know?”
“A little.”
She was silent for a long time. “Your grandfather used to scare me a little when I was a kid,” she said finally. “He was so stern and everything. But right now I think he might be my hero.”
“Yeah,” he said gruffly. “Mine too.”
He could feel her eyes on him, and her concern. It wasn’t exactly the way he had imagined the evening going. “Enough heavy stuff for one night,” he said decisively. “Did you have some place in mind for dinner tonight, or should I pick?”
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