“I can take care of myself,” I offer back. “I don’t need anyone.” I know Marie means well, but I am tired of people looking at me with that pity in their eyes. The poor girl has no parents. That look makes my hair stand on end, provoking the deepest need to prove everyone wrong. To stand up and scream at the top of my lungs I can take care of myself!
“Oh Sophie, you don’t always have to be strong. We all need someone to take care of us, someone to love. Olivia said you finally got rid of that Collin.” She waits for confirmation. I think she hated him almost as much as my mother would have, if she had ever met him. “He was a real asshole, Sophie. You are far too good for him.” I turn to Olivia and almost give myself whiplash in the process. She puts her arms around me before I can explode.
“I told her everything, Sophie. My mom loves you, and your mom would want someone looking out for you. Please don’t be upset.” My mind reels at the array of sorted and humiliating details that Olivia could have shared with her mother. And she doesn’t even know the half of it. I would never share my failures and shortcomings with anyone. Weakness is not a virtue I admire. I don’t want people to know that I was so blinded. I was a sad fool. Now I feel foolish all over again.
“Come now, there is no reason to rehash painful memories. Now is the time to go out and get what is yours, Sophie. Olivia found her match, and yours is out there waiting for you.”
“Everyone doesn’t get the perfect happily ever after, Marie.” The words fall from my mouth with ease, soliciting a crackling silence. She quietly leaves the room as Olivia twists around in a whirl of wavy blonde hair and wide eyes.
“You’re a little snippy this morning.”
“I am sorry, Liv. I will apologize to your mom. I’m just feeling a little high strung.”
“Obviously. I assume you and Rhys didn’t hook up last night.” She sits at the foot of the bed and waits, eager and curious. “What happened? I thought you two hit it off. It looked like you were going to tear each other apart last night when you left the wine cellar.”
“He kissed the hell out of me and then left me standing there, alone, like an idiot. I swear I almost exploded it was so hot.” Her face falls slightly, churning over the words of casual encounters. “Maybe I am a little frustrated.”
“What happened?” She pats the bed beside her. I take a seat, taking a deep breath.
“I don’t know exactly. All night he was touching me and teasing me. When we got in the elevator I thought for sure. But he just left me alone. He said not tonight, that something had come up that couldn’t be ignored, and that was it. I assumed it was something for the wedding.”
“So, he left you reeling all night? He is playing with you!” She teases, pushing my shoulder with hers. “Don’t let it get to you. Rhys has been pursuing you, Sophie, not the other way around.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Sophie, are you really so blind? He has been with you every free moment. Rhys does not deal in flattery and fakery. If he wasn’t interested in you he would not be wasting his time. It is not his way. Obviously he wants to drag it out, spend more time with you.” A knock at the door distracts Olivia and I am left with more questions than answers.
“Matthew! You are not supposed to see me!” She giggles as Matt pushes the door open and sweeps her up into his arms. Rhys steps in and closes the door behind him.
“One last look before you are mine forever woman!” He kisses her so deeply the air in the room stops, before he sets her back on her feet. Rhys’ eyes call to me and I catch him watching me impassively. His eyes are hard and his crooked smile is nowhere to be found, like he knows we were just talking about him.
“Ladies, we just stopped in to let you know that the cars will be ready in two hours. Everyone should meet downstairs and we will all depart for the wedding together.” He is all business.
“The boys and I are going to hit a bucket of balls before we leave. You ladies have a wonderful morning. And I will see you at the altar.” Matthew cups Olivia’s face in his hands before planting the sweetest kiss on her forehead. I watch Rhys’ face, like stone looking right through me, his mood undefinable. I wish I could hide my emotions so easily. My heart lives squarely on my sleeve. They turn to leave and I want to scream. He is impossible to read, refusing to let anyone see what he doesn’t want seen. How can I believe that he is interested in me when he can act so cold and detached? I want to chase him down the hall, demand his attention. Last night I was ready to give him everything and now he denies me.
Chapter 9
The girls are giddy, waiting to pile into one of the two stretch limousines that have been sent to take us all out to Key Biscayne. Excitement about the wedding is palpable, but Olivia is as cool as a cucumber.
“Nervous?” I tease, bumping her shoulder.
“Not one bit, Soph. I know this is the most perfect thing I have ever done. I love Matthew so much.” You can see it written all over her face, the bright reflection of love shining through her bright blue eyes.
“You two are going to be so happy.”
“I know,” she offers, matter of fact, climbing into the car. She is followed by Marie, then Kylie and Melissa. I envy her clarity. Her raw, almost infectious optimism. A soft hand winds around my arm, stopping me from getting into the car. I turn to find Rhys; impassive face; his eyes betray the stone set of his jaw. He pulls me back and pops his head into the limo.
“Ladies, I will be stealing Sophie for the ride. You can have her back once we arrive.”
A thrill surges through me at his commanding manner. I turn to Olivia to see a grin spread across her face as she winks with a shrug. He pulls me towards the sleek black Town Car parked behind the limos. His silence is unsettling, sending my pulse into a tizzy as I duck into the back seat. Rhys slides in after me, shutting the door, cutting us off from the outside. I shift to the opposite side of the car, waiting. I struggle to remain stoic in the face of his stone cold gaze, unsure of what I am to say. He watches me shift uncomfortably under his scrutiny, before his face softens slightly. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, closing the distance between us. His fingers lace together, pulling across his lips, those plump, perfect lips. A momentary flash of his mouth on my flesh sends a jolt of pleasure pulsing through me. I feel the flush in my cheeks giving me away. He grins, fully aware of the effect he has on my body.
“I dreamt of your sweet lips last night. I am eager to taste the rest, and I must say that I woke feeling famished.” A moment passes before my mind catches up with him and I choke, a flaming red flush climbing up my body as I clutch my chest, his raw words leaving me breathless and startled. My mind races through the pages of my sexual past flashing upon painful memories of asking him for that, just to be ridiculed and mortified by the results. And here Rhys is, a powerful sexual being, charged up from my lips and he thinks I am sweet. My stomach flips at the thought of him, between my legs, teasing me like in my dreams, tasting me, lapping at my flesh. I cringe quietly before I look into his eyes and shake my head timidly, afraid to disappoint him.
“I don’t really… umm.” Every broken syllable is more painful than the last; I cannot make the words come. I cannot bring myself to tell him that I can’t let him do that to me because I am ashamed and afraid of what he will think, afraid of my own body. No, I cannot do that with Rhys. An ashamed nod of my head and I avert my eyes, not wanting him to see my embarrassment and fear.
“Hey, what just happened?” He tips my chin with his finger, raising my eyes to meet his. Concern and confusion flash in his emerald green eyes. “Did I offend you?” The slight edge in his voice begs me to assure him otherwise.
“No! No, of course not,” I drop my eyes, wanting to shrink away from it all. But Rhys won’t allow it, his finger turns my head back and his eyes demand my attention.
“Then what is it, Sophie. Tell me.”
“I’m just not comfortable, with that.” The words barely a whisper, but in my head they e
cho, never ending. He searches my face while he holds my hands, looking right through me. Invading my thoughts, trying to gain access to the restricted section, where I hide behind big talk and a smart mouth. It was so easy for him to just walk right into my mind, just as easily as I stepped into this car. And now he waits. Waits for an answer I cannot give, a rational explanation why a woman of twenty four is so uncomfortable and unfamiliar with her own body. Why?
“We are going to have to do something about that,” he declares, righteously. “I have to taste you, Sophie. If I don’t it will drive me mad.” Lightning strikes at my core as the heat of his words crackle and pop in my ears.
“I’m sorry.” I shrink away from him and with every second my boldness fades, leaving an awkward emptiness. How quickly everything turned. I was ready to wrap myself around him and ride him until dawn, and now we sit hand in hand, miles apart. Pulling my hands away, I turn back to face the window.
“Oh, no you don’t. Don’t be sorry, just be ready. I have plans for you. I have been waiting for this. I told you, I want to have my way.” His voice is warm and slow. He lowers his forehead to mine, and places his hands on my shoulders, reigniting the flame beneath. “Do not worry your pretty little head about it. We will start slow. I am going to make you come so hard you won’t know what hit you.” His promise burns right through me, dark and hungry need pooling in my loins.
“Yes, please,” my breathy plea the invitation he was waiting for. His hands are on both sides of my face, leading me, kissing me frantically, thankfully. His fingers wind in my hair while his hands rest on my cheek, soft and tender. Our lips twist and turn around each other, dancing to the quiet music of traffic, his hands soft on my face. He winks at me through thick dark lashes and sits back against the black leather seat across from me, gazing out the window.
“Did you and Olivia have a nice chat this morning?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Come now, Sophie, I know you girls like to talk. What did you tell her?”
“I…” My mouth snaps back shut, not sure that I should divulge. “I didn’t tell her anything.”
“You are not a very good liar.” His cool tone sends ice through my veins. “But, I won’t hold that against you. How are you this morning? Not too frustrated I hope.” The crooked grin at the corner of his lips is sharp. My mind is blank sitting in such close quarters. The smell of his skin teases my senses.
“I am fine, how are you?” I quip back, trying to keep pace with him.
“Anxious, and hungry,” he grins “Are we still having fun?” His eyes twinkle with mischief. I nod my head in agreement and try to recollect my thoughts.
“I,….um.” My tongue has disappeared and left me to fend for myself. What is he asking? I look into his eyes and a jolt of electricity grounds me to the spot. I am without any weapon to defend myself. His mere presence topples my defenses and brings me to my knees.
“I just want to make sure we are on the same page.”
“I am under no false assumptions, Rhys. I know what this is. I also know that I am booked on a flight tomorrow, so don’t you worry about me getting too attached. I will be leaving on a jet plane,” I wink. “I see you, and I will not be one of those girls, begging for scraps of your attention. I don’t usually do things like this, but believe me when I say that I can handle myself. So don’t worry about me.” I rush the words, unconvinced of my own declaration. “This whole rule thing makes me feel a little disposable. I don’t want to be humiliated or used, but I can reconcile what this is.”
“Ouch.” The comment presses him into the seat. He crosses his arms and cocks his head. “I am using you, Sophie, and you are using me. As we all use each other. It is the human condition” The wind is sucked from my lungs. Like a punch to the gut, his words remind me of the deep chasm that lies between his reality and mine. He is right, I have nothing of value to him, nothing that he cannot find elsewhere. I am just a body to play with, something to quell his boredom. Disappointment cripples my smile, and it’s hard to hide the hurt in my eyes.
“I am not using you,” I whisper.
“Sure you are.” His response is swift, sliding across the seat, trapping me with his body. I want to say I told you so, to call his bluff. I open my mouth to speak when he kisses me, hard. Crushing his lips against mine, leaving me breathless, shaky and wanting.
“I want this,” he mutters against my mouth, “and so do you.” Pulling away from me, his face aflame with a challenge, he cups my face in his hands and swallows me with his eyes. I am lost in the green pools, warm from his lips and eager for more. “I will use your body to make me feel good, as you will use mine, and it will be glorious.” I wind my arms around his shoulders and pull him to me, desperate for his touch, his kiss, him. “Believe me when I say you are not disposable. Now, let’s just do what feels good,” he coaxes, gently wrapping me in his arms, his tongue sweeping along my bottom lip before pushing into my mouth. His tongue dances against mine, teasing, until my head spins. The car ride is swallowed by the back and forth. Moments after he pulls me into his lap we are pulling into the circular drive of his family’s house, our bodies desperate for more, he twists his hand in my hair and pulls my head back exposing my neck, holding me still. His lips are hot and moist against my throat.
“You are mine tonight,” he murmurs. The vibration of his words leaves me breathless, his promise too good. “Say yes,” he demands.
“To be used?” I whisper as the car door opens and the light of day spills in. He blinks up at me through those thick, dark lashes, a genuine sparkle playing on the gold flecks of his eyes.
“Stop thinking so much,” he pleads, his vice grip tightening around my hand. My body relents, softening, humming with anticipation. My mind, however, is dragging.
Olivia prompts me from the car, following the wedding planner who is calling out orders like a drill sergeant. “Ladies in the house for hair and makeup, men in the pool house.” I turn back towards Rhys’ waiting eyes, knowing that I am ready to surrender, at least for now. I want to, I need to.
“Yes,” I mouth, being pulled from the car. I follow the parade of dresses and women, all the while watching Rhys. His face lights up, a triumphant grin curls his full lips. The force of that grin bores straight to my core and a lovely memory crawls up my body from my toes, gaining momentum as my mind is wiped clean by the thought of his weight upon me. He winks before disappearing around the side of the house, with Matthew and the others. As soon as he is out of my sight, my mind reels at what I have just agreed to; to be used, and to use him.
Chapter 10
The suite is teeming with activity. Olivia and her mom are inspecting the dresses while the wedding planner drones on about the minute to minute schedule. Kylie and Melissa sit in front of a large vanity in the expansive bathroom. One woman paints each of their faces while another coifs their hair, messy buns with smoky eyes and a nude lip. They sip their champagne from silver straws and whisper quietly to one another, giggling and groaning in unison. I decide to clear the air between us. They both clearly have a past that involves Rhys in some capacity, that which I really do not want to know. Feeling strong and newly confident with Rhys’ desire hovering around me, I will not let her intimidate me. I step into the large bathroom and bring the silence with me. Both women stop chatting and look at me in the mirror. Melissa’s eyes are cold, rimmed with kohl. The gold flecks in her eyes sparkle against the dark eye makeup while she scrutinizes me. Kylie flashes her whitened teeth and excuses herself from the tension filled room. I take a seat in the chair next to Melissa and pin her down in the mirror.
“How was your night?” She sips from her silver straw, offering nothing, watching me, waiting.
“My night was amazing,” she bites back, so certain, so easily distracted by a roll with Wes, I assume. I take a moment to chew my tongue and collect my thoughts. She huffs at my non-reaction and hops out of the chair, grabbing her sippy cup and phone before sauntering out o
f the bathroom, leaving me alone, and confused.
We form a circle around Olivia to help her into her dress. It is delicate organza and silk, billowing in the air like a cloud above her, as we all help to pull the dress over her head. The top is sheer with a dramatic boat neck, capped at her shoulders. The embroidery over the bodice is delicate and detailed. Tiny Swarovski crystals cover her chest and cascade down her narrow hips, with a satin sash at her waist. The skirt is full, layer after layer of blush colored organza with a slit up her thigh. The finishing touch is her ballet heels, with satin wrapped around her ankles. The dresses she chose for the bridesmaids are equally delicate and ethereal. Tea length blush organza skirts with the sheer V-neck top, capped sleeves and equally beautiful embroidery. Olivia pulls me aside and hands me a gift bag.
“What is this, Liv? I am supposed to be giving you a present. Not the other way around,” I squeak, embarrassed by her generosity when I have nothing for her in return.
“Just a little something sassy to go under your dress. I know how you are, Sophie, you don’t treat yourself enough. I bought you some things to make you feel good. Wear them tonight and I promise Rhys will lose his shit,” she whispers with a sly wink and a nibble of her lip. I open the bag to find a contraption I have never seen. A small swath of nude lace with dangly bits, another, even smaller strip of matching silk, and a pair of what looks like stockings. I look up into Olivia’s eager eyes and cannot help but laugh. “It’s a garter belt, stockings and a thong,” she whispers. My heart leaps into my chest. I have never worn lingerie, never even tried it on. I have always been a cotton panty and bra kind of girl. I am going to look ridiculous in this. Panic must have shown on my face because Liv immediately went on the defense. “Trust me, Sophie, you are going to look so hot Rhys won’t know what to do with himself, not to mention they will make you feel so sexy. Trust me. Now, go put them on.” And with that she shuffles me into the bathroom to figure out the puzzle.
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