by Various
She shrugged. “Trust me, a day and a half of changing a two-year-old’s diapers is enough incentive for me.”
She just wished she could find similar incentive to keep her hands and her thoughts off of her boss.
Chapter 6
“YOU told me that Lonny asked you out and you turned him down.”
Carlene looked up from the book she’d been trying to read.
His face set in an expression of disapproval, Win stood just inside her open bedroom door.
She’d left it that way when she had put Shelly and Jared to bed. She wanted to be able to hear them if they needed her. Unfortunately, she had not heard Win’s approach.
He had been busy down at the stables with a pregnant mare since after dinner and she hadn’t expected to see him again until the following morning. She’d come to the conclusion late that afternoon that he was doing just as good a job of avoiding her as she had been doing to avoid him.
The knowledge had irritated her.
Especially after her trip to her apartment. She’d found herself packing lacy underwear and a couple of items of clothing that showed off her figure. She’d stopped in mid-packing, staring at a very pretty bra she hadn’t worn since leaving Texas. It had been a symbol of her acceptance of herself then…something she’d lost when she left.
But she’d brought it with her to Win’s house.
She shifted to sit up more squarely against the headboard and laid her book aside. “That’s essentially what happened.”
He ran his fingers through wet hair. He must have showered before hunting her down in her room. “I don’t think so.”
The dangerous emotion she sensed in him made her want to tread very carefully. “What do you mean?”
“Last night you said that he thought you wanted to go to bed with him.”
She’d said several things she shouldn’t have last night. “He offered. I turned him down. That’s all there is to it.”
“Lady, there’s a hell of a difference between a man asking you to go out and offering to take you to bed.” He pushed away from the doorway and stepped further into the room.
She felt as if the mountain cat Shorty had mentioned that morning had come in. She was tired of the feelings that overwhelmed her when Win was around. His interrogation over Lonny set off a recklessness she didn’t understand, but she wasn’t going to squelch either.
“Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I’ve had enough experience with the latter my whole life to know that?”
He stopped prowling the room and fixed his blue-eyed gaze on her. “What do you mean?”
She slid her legs off the opposite side of the bed from where Win was standing and went to stand at the window. It looked out over the desert surrounding the ranch house. Moonlight reflected off the sagebrush and sparse Douglas Fir trees.
She started talking with her gaze still fixed on the night outside her window. “I started wearing a bra in the sixth grade and not some little-girl training bra either. Ever since then boys and then men assumed I was interested in sex.”
“You telling me that some little ten-year-old tried to get you to drop your drawers behind the school building?”
She whipped around and glared at him. She was opening her heart to him; he could darn well take her seriously. “No. But, more than one not so little ten year old tried to get a feel of what was under my shirt.”
She turned back to face the window, her face growing red with remembered shame. “It was humiliating. I was still playing with Barbies and boys thought I wanted to be their plaything. It just got worse as I got older. It wasn’t just my breasts that developed. My whole body changed.”
He spoke from right behind her, laying his hand on her shoulder. “Honey, you have a very nice body.”
She almost laughed. “That was the whole problem. People assumed that I was a brainless twit because of the way I looked. By the time I hit high school, I lived in oversized clothes, kept my hair in an unstylish pony-tail and my nose buried in my books.”
He turned her around to face him. “You’re smart and you set out to prove that to everyone.”
She nodded, surprised at his understanding. “Yes. I did it too. I graduated valedictorian with a full scholarship to a private university.”
He tipped her chin up until their eyes met. “That’s not the end of the story.”
“How do you know?” she whispered the question.
“Because if it was you wouldn’t still be so sensitive about a man’s appreciation for your body.”
That made her angry. “You think I should just laugh it off when men like Lonny try to cop a feel when no one else is around?”
Win’s fingers on her shoulders went rigid. “He tried to cop a feel? You said he propositioned you.”
“He did. He’s obviously a believer in using multiple media to make a point.”
“Hell.”
His angry concern warmed her. “Look, Win. I handled it. Lonny won’t be making any more passes.”
He didn’t look as if he believed her. “Like you handled it with me last night?”
“What do you mean? You think I let him kiss me and then called a halt to the whole thing? You think I’m a tease?” She didn’t care about Lonny any longer. She just wanted to know if Win’s avoiding her meant that he thought she had led him on the night before and was disgusted with her for it.
“No. That’s not what I meant and you can stop putting words into my mouth. I think you are a beautiful woman afraid of her own body, not a tease. You were just as desperate to touch me as I was to touch you, until you got scared. What I want to know is if you thought you handled Lonny by telling him you are a virgin. Because if you think that did it, I’ve got bad news for you.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, curious.
“He’s more likely to see you as a challenge than just let it go. He’ll think that taking your virginity will prove he’s more of a man.”
“Is that how you see me now, Win? A challenge? Someone you need to bed to prove that you can do what no other man has been able to accomplish?” She had to know.
“We aren’t talking about me. We’re talking about Lonny. Now tell me if you told him what you told me,” he demanded.
“No.” she smiled wryly. “If you must know I used multimedia as well.”
“Explain,” he demanded with typical Win-style arrogance.
“I stomped on his foot to get him to back up and when he did, I punched him.”
His smile was slow and sexy. “You’re some little Amazon when you’re riled, aren’t you, honey?”
She shrugged, secretly pleased at the approval she saw in his eyes. “When you grow up in west Texas, you learn how to take care of yourself. Now, answer my question. Am I just a challenge to you?”
His smile faded and his eyes became very intense. “Carlene, I need you like I haven’t needed a woman in a long time, maybe ever. It hasn’t got a damn thing to do with your lack of experience. In fact, I spent most of last night trying to convince myself to leave you the hell alone.”
She looked around her room and then back at Win. “But you didn’t succeed.”
“No.”
“I still don’t want an affair.”
“I’m still not interested in marriage.” He released her and swung away. He walked over to her bed and picked up the book she had been reading.
It was a romantic suspense by her favorite author. She should have known she was in trouble when she’d been unable to concentrate on it.
He laid the book back down and turned around to face her again. The expression on his face chilled her. “My ex-wife used sex to manipulate me into marriage, Carlene. I won’t let that happen again.”
The knowledge that he’d been married before hurt her. “Where does that leave us, Win?”
“I don’t know. Are you going to use my attraction to you to try to force marriage?”
A painful lump formed in her throat. “No, but I’m not going to have a casual
affair with you either.”
His hands clenched at his sides. “I guess there’s nothing left to say, then, is there?”
He turned and headed toward the door. With each step he took, she wanted to stop him, to call him back. But for what?
She didn’t have an answer to the impasse they found themselves in either.
Three days later, Carlene was exhausted and cranky as she shucked the corn on the cob she planned to serve Win and the hands for dinner that night. Grateful that she had a smaller number to feed than usual, she yanked the husk off the outside of the corn and tossed it in the bag at her feet. A couple of the ranch hands were delivering a stud Win had sold to another Mustang breeder in Wyoming. They weren’t expected back until tomorrow.
She kept an eye on Shelly and Jared out of the corner of her eye. They were playing in a small plastic pool that Win had purchased for them. She’d wanted to set it up in the courtyard, but they wanted to watch the horses and she’d compromised, setting the pool up outside the back entrance to the kitchen, telling the kids they’d have to watch the horses from that distance. Jared splashed Shelly and the little girl gave a gleeful shout.
Carlene smiled despite her irritable mood. Win had been right when he said they were “a couple of real cute kids”. Watching them had confirmed her own desire to be a mother. Something she wasn’t likely to become anytime soon.
“Miss Carlene, Miss Carlene. Jared has to go potty. Can I take him?” asked Shelly while Jared hopped on one foot, looking desperate.
Shelly loved escorting her brother to the bathroom and setting up the potty chair for him. It made her feel like a big girl, so Carlene agreed.
She’d just finish shucking the corn and then go make sure Jared got his big-boy underwear pulled up right.
She brushed the back of her hand against the slight perspiration on her forehead. She needed a nap. Between Shelly waking up in the middle of the night and thoughts of Win that disturbed Carlene’s rest, she had been getting precious little sleep the past few days.
Shelly hadn’t woken the night before last. She seemed to be settling into the routine of the ranch, but then Leah had called last night and spoken to the children. It had been almost impossible to get Shelly and Jared to sleep and then, predictably, Shelly had woken around midnight calling for her mother.
Carlene had rocked the little girl for over an hour before Shelly had fallen back asleep.
Win told Carlene that Leah had said she just needed a few more days and then she’d be back.
He hadn’t volunteered anything else and Carlene hadn’t asked. Truthfully, she didn’t care when Leah got back except how it affected Shelly and Jared.
Carlene’s main concern was the fear that she was falling in love with her boss, a man who would probably never let himself love her. He’d been very careful to avoid any physical contact with her for the last three days and it was driving her crazy. When their hands accidentally collided while bathing the children, he would yank his away as if she burned him.
His constant rejection made her want to cry, but not half so much as the haunted expression she saw on his face whenever he really looked at her.
Win still wanted her, of that she was certain. But how long would he want her? He wasn’t looking for a lifetime commitment and Carlene wasn’t foolish enough to believe that a temporary physical attraction would lead to anything more than heartache for her. She hated the fact that Win equated her desire for a strong commitment to manipulation. It wasn’t that she wanted to force him to marry her.
What she needed was the security that they were both going into the relationship wanting to make it last, looking at the possibility of a future together. She couldn’t have a future with a man who refused to marry, could she?
The knowledge that he’d been married once before gnawed at her. He had loved one woman enough to risk the commitment despite his experience growing up with a mother who changed husbands as often as some women changed hairstyles. What had ended his first marriage? Did he still love his ex-wife?
That question tormented Carlene more than any other. The thought of Win loving another woman made her want to throw up.
She finished shucking the corn and stood up. Time to check on the kids. She was surprised that they hadn’t come back outside to continue playing in the pool. When she tried to open the kitchen door, though, she found it locked. Panic pulsed through her until she heard giggles from the inside.
The children weren’t hurt.
She rushed around to the kitchen window and, standing on her tip-toes, tried to peer inside. She wasn’t tall enough. She looked around her for something to stand on; her gaze fell on a wooden crate one of the hands had left near the house. She dragged it over to the window and stepped up, this time getting a clear view of the kitchen.
The sight that met her eyes made her sigh with relief and groan in exasperation. Jared stood in the center of the floor wearing one of Carlene’s large white aprons and holding a wooden spoon. Shelly stood on a chair with a box of cereal. She poured the cereal onto the floor into a large puddle of milk as Carlene watched helplessly through the window. Jared stirred it with the spoon.
“Something wrong, Carlene?”
Win’s voice startled her and she lost her balance. Her arms windmilled and the bag of corn she had been holding went flying just before she did. Win caught her, but several small thuds indicated the corn hadn’t been so lucky.
Landing against Win’s chest, she expelled air in a big whoosh. For a brief moment in time, she forgot the children making cereal on the floor she’d mopped just that morning. She forgot her fears for the future. She forgot that Win had been avoiding her. All she could think about was the feel of Win’s strong arms locked around her and his rock-hard body pressed against her own.
It didn’t matter that he only held her because she’d literally flown through the air to land in his arms. He was holding her and it felt good, too good. Her eyes wide, she licked her lips, trying to find something to say.
He swore and then lowered his mouth to hers.
The kiss was brief, but explosive. Although he pulled back almost immediately, she had felt the desperate hunger in him and it called to a matching emotion in her.
He set her away from him. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
“I know.”
She did too. He’d made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to start anything under her terms.
She forced herself to look away from him and noticed the corn strewn on the ground. She wanted to scream out her frustration, but swallowed the urge. She bent down and started to gather the corn.
“Just rinse it and it’ll be fine,” Win said as he picked up the corn near him and tossed it into her bag.
She raised her head and glared at him. “Easy for you to say. You’re not responsible for feeding the hands. I am.”
Win’s eyes narrowed. “Take it easy, honey. No one’s going to notice that the corn took a detour on the way to the table.”
“Maybe not, but they’re bound to notice when they have to eat it raw because Shelly and Jared locked the cook out of the kitchen.”
Win’s smile infuriated her. It wasn’t funny, darn it. “Don’t you dare laugh. This is not in the least amusing.”
He tried to hide his smile. “No. I can see that.”
“Just what do you think Leah would say if she drove up right now? She wouldn’t be very impressed that the woman you hired to watch her children had managed to get herself locked out of the house while they had a merry old time making cereal on the floor.”
“Is that what they’re doing? Making cereal?” he asked.
“Yes, with an entire box of toasted oats and about a gallon of milk from the looks of things.”
Just the thought of all that milk spilled on her newly mopped floor made her wince.
Win turned toward the house. “Come on.”
She followed him to the kitchen door. Win pounded on the door. “Shelly, open up. Miss Carlene
and I want to come inside.”
Carlene heard movement from within and then the door scraped open. Shelly stood on the other side, her face split in a happy grin. “Hi. Me and Jared got hungry. We made cereal.”
Carlene’s gaze settled on the little boy sitting in the middle of the floor, eating the soggy cereal with his fingers. He looked up and smiled proudly. “I’s a cook. See?”
Part of her wanted to laugh and the other part wanted to make sure the children knew that locking her out of the kitchen and making cereal on the floor was not appropriate behavior.
She settled on turning to glare at Win, who had swung Shelly up into his arms. “Do you still think this is humorous?”
Win indicated his nephew with a flick of his eyes. “Yep. You can’t tell me that’s not funny, Carlene.”
She sighed. So much for help from that quarter. She walked over to Jared and lifted him from the puddle of cereal. “Come on, sweetie, let’s get you cleaned up.”
Jared protested, “But I’s a cook. Don’t wanna get cleaned.”
“You’re a good cook too, Jared. As a matter of fact, I’m going to let you and Shelly help me make dinner, but first we’ve got to wash you up. Cooks have to be very clean when they’re making food for other people.”
“Oh.”
She took that for agreement and headed toward the bathroom.
She looked at Win over her shoulder. “You can bring Shelly. I’ll need your help getting them both bathed before I clean up the mess in the kitchen.”
Win’s eyes narrowed. “I’ve got stuff to do in the stable. I don’t have time to give the kids a bath right now.”
Carlene gave him her sweetest, most insincere, smile. “Just think of it as an amusing blip in your schedule.”
Win growled something that made Shelly laugh.
By the time she and Win had Jared and Shelly bathed and changed, both children were showing signs that they needed a nap. Carlene got them to lie down with the promise that she would wait to finish preparing dinner until they woke up.
Win followed her back into the kitchen. “Need help cleaning up this mess?” he asked, indicating the cereal drying to the floor.