His stern expression faltered. “Of course not. Forgive me. I am not speaking of you or your family. I’m thinking of Sarah. She was raised in a privileged home and sheltered from the harsher realities of life.”
“She may have been sheltered, but she knows her own mind, and she has set her heart on marrying Mr. Dalton.”
“That’s impossible. She would be throwing her life away.”
“But Mr. Dalton is a sincere and honorable man. I believe he loves Sarah and would do everything in his power to make her happy.”
“If she marries him, she’ll become the focus of cruel gossip and lose her place in society.”
“From what Sarah has told me, she has rarely been involved in society. I can’t see how marrying Mr. Dalton would make any difference.”
“But if I allow it, people will say I have not done my duty to protect and provide for her. I will be the one who pays for her mistakes.”
“So that’s your greatest concern: that it will reflect poorly on you?” She shook her head, stunned and disappointed. “I cannot believe you would take away your sister’s one chance for love and marriage just to maintain your reputation.”
His piercing expression darkened.
A warning rose in her heart, but she pushed past it. “Marrying to maintain wealth and position in society does not guarantee a happy future or godly contentment—as you well know.”
His face reddened and became a stormy mask. “You have no right to speak to me in this manner. I have nothing more to say to you.” He turned and strode past her out the back door.
Her legs began to tremble, and all the strength drained out of her. She grabbed the edge of the laundry tub. Oh, Lord, what have I done?
“Tea is ready.” Julia’s mother stepped through the doorway. “Where is Sir William?”
Julia swallowed, trying to find her voice. “He left by the back door.”
“Goodness, Julia, you’re as pale as a sheet. Come and sit down.” Her mother took Julia’s arm and led her into the warm kitchen.
Julia sank into a chair and tried to still her trembling.
Her mother brought the teapot to the table and poured her a cup of tea. “For goodness’ sake, what happened?”
“I’m afraid I spoke my mind too plainly, and I offended Sir William.”
“Then you must make it right.”
“But if he doesn’t change his mind, he will hurt his sister deeply. How can I condone that?”
“You can apologize for the way you spoke to him without agreeing to his conclusions.”
A surge of resistance rose in her heart. Sir William was wrong, and when her mother heard the details of the story, she would agree. Knowing her mother would keep the matter private, she told her about Sarah and Mr. Dalton, and then she explained how Sir William had discovered them. Her mother listened quietly, concern deepening in her eyes.
“So you can see why I expressed myself as I did.” Julia shifted in her seat, feeling less certain of her stance than she had at first. What if she was wrong and Mr. Dalton’s intentions were not pure? But hadn’t Reverend Langford confirmed Mr. Dalton’s character? Even so, she should not have spoken to Sir William as she had.
“I understand Sir William’s concerns.” Her mother lifted her teacup and sat back. “It reminds me very much of the difficulties I faced when I decided to marry your father.” Her gaze drifted toward the kitchen window, and her mouth tightened slightly. “The division it caused in my family has been very hard to live with at times.”
“But you don’t regret marrying Father, do you?”
“No. Of course not.” She took a sip of her tea. “Two decisions have shaped my life. The first was following the Savior with my whole heart when I was seventeen, and the second was accepting your father’s proposal two years later. I am eternally grateful I had the courage to do both. My life has been blessed as I’ve served the Lord, and I have enjoyed the love and devotion of a godly husband.” Her expression softened. “But I do regret the pain I caused my family.”
“That was not your fault. Your father is the one who refused to see you after you married.”
Her mother nodded. “I had to fight a long battle in my heart to find forgiveness. But Christ has won the victory, and I am free of bitterness. Now, when I think of my family and all the years that have been lost, I feel sorrow rather than anger. I have accepted that my father may never change. Bea’s desire to stay in touch and pass our letters on to my mother has been a great comfort.”
Julia nodded, remembering their years in India and how much her aunt’s letters had meant to her mother. The exchange of news had been carried on for many years without her grandfather’s knowledge. Her grandmother often enclosed a note with her aunt’s letters, and those words of love and encouragement had meant the world to her mother.
“But the point in all this,” her mother continued, “is that you must make amends with Sir William so you can keep your position and encourage him and his sister to work out their differences. Marrying the person you love is important, but so are family relationships. And you, my dear Julia, may be the one the Lord wants to use to help them through these difficult days.”
“I doubt Sir William will listen to anything else I have to say about it, especially now.”
“But you still have influence with his sister. And if she will wait and give her brother time, perhaps he will come around and accept the idea of her marrying Mr. Dalton.”
“I am not sure either of them can be persuaded to change their minds. Sarah might listen to reason, but Sir William is very proud and set in his ways. And he obviously disliked me giving my opinion today.”
“Perhaps it was more the manner in which you shared it than the message itself.”
Conviction washed over Julia’s heart, and she looked down and smoothed out her apron. “I’ve done it again, haven’t I? Failed to control my tongue when my emotions have been stirred.” She sighed. “I don’t know why I so often assume I’m right and say exactly what I’m thinking. Later on I always regret I didn’t pray and consider the timing or my words more carefully.”
“Realizing our weaknesses is half the battle.” Her mother smiled and set her teacup aside. “If you are going to be used by the Lord to help in this situation, you must cool your emotions and guard your tongue.”
Julia nodded, knowing her mother was right.
“Sir William came here today, asking for your help.” Her mother tipped her head, a question in her eyes. “That seems quite unusual, wouldn’t you agree?”
“He knows Sarah and I have developed a friendship. I’m sure he thought I would help him convince Sarah to give up Mr. Dalton.” Julia’s heart ached as she thought of her friend. “I so want Sarah to be happy.”
“Of course you do. But I must ask … Do you think there is some other reason Sir William came to see you today?”
“What other reason could there be?”
“Well, he has been very kind to you: driving you home in his motorcar, fetching the doctor, paying for the doctor’s visit, and bringing that generous basket of food. And when he arrived today, he insisted on seeing you right away.” A faint smile lifted her lips. “I wondered if there might be an attachment forming between you.”
Julia quickly shook her head. “I’m sure Sir William doesn’t think of me like that.”
“But you mention him often. Have you grown to care for him?”
Julia’s cheeks warmed. “Sir William is bound by the traditions of society. He would never become involved with someone on his staff.”
“A governess is not the same as a housemaid,” her mother added.
“No, but she would not be a good match for a baronet like Sir William.”
Her mother gazed toward the kitchen window. “Perhaps, but there is something about his manner toward you that makes me wonder. He puts on a very valiant face, but I sense vulnerability in him, a need or some sort of wound that he tries to keep hidden.”
“He has experie
nced several losses.” Julia looked down, torn by her opposing feelings. “But he is a proud, opinionated man. His estate and position are much more important to him than his family or his faith. And for those reasons, I could never love him.”
“Be careful, my dear. Pride does not afflict only the wealthy. A poor man or woman can struggle with the same vice for different reasons.” Her mother laid her hand over Julia’s. “It takes humility to put aside hurt feelings and see through to someone’s heart.” Wisdom and affection flowed from her mother’s caring expression.
“Thank you, Mother. I’ll consider what you’ve said.”
“Good.” Her mother’s smile returned, and she gave Julia’s hand a pat.
Julia refilled her teacup and stirred in a spoonful of sugar. Sir William might be set in his ways and determined to separate Sarah and Mr. Dalton, but she had been impulsive and spoken out of turn again. He had come asking for her help, and she had sent him away empty handed. That would never do. It was dishonoring—and almost as offensive as his opposition to Sarah and Mr. Dalton’s attachment.
She took a sip of tea, a plan forming in her mind. Helping Sarah and Sir William resolve their differences was much more important than defending her wounded pride. She would write to him today, straighten out the matter, and ask to return to Highland as soon as possible.
SIXTEEN
William strode out of his bedroom the next morning, his mind churning with the unresolved issues between him and his sister. Following their confrontation in Dalton’s office yesterday morning, she had fled to her bedroom and stayed there the rest of the day. He had hoped they could discuss the issue calmly at dinner, but Sarah had not come down. His cousins had been away dining with friends, so he had eaten alone.
Later, he had knocked on her door, but she had refused to speak to him any further. He instructed Mrs. Emmitt to bring her a dinner tray, but it had remained untouched in the hall.
His plan to bring Miss Foster home to help sort out the situation had failed miserably. His head began to throb as he recalled their conversation. How could she take Sarah’s side and refuse to help him convince his sister to break off the romance with Dalton? He thought Miss Foster was sensible and loyal, but he had been disappointed by her response.
He supposed her youth and inexperience, along with her romantic ideals, made it difficult for her to understand the situation clearly.
She knew nothing of the scandal his late wife’s unfaithfulness and death had caused him. He grimaced, thinking of the social snubs and cool dismissals he had faced. If a new round of gossip about his sister spread through London society, it would be much worse.
Perhaps he should not care what people thought of him and his family, but experience had been a harsh teacher. If Sarah ran away with Dalton, the ripples of disgrace would hang over them for years, and it would make it very difficult for his son to get into the right schools and for both children to find suitable mates. He growled under his breath as he crossed the gallery and headed down the main staircase.
He ought to dismiss Dalton, but that would only infuriate his sister, and there was a slim chance she might actually follow through on her threat to run away with him. If she did, he would never forgive himself for pushing her toward that choice.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he glanced at the line of servants waiting in the great hall for morning Scripture reading and prayer. Dalton stood near the end of the line, stone-faced, eyes fixed straight ahead, with the two under gardeners beside him. William set his jaw and shifted his gaze to the fireplace. Not one member of his family waited at the opposite side of the hall. His shoulders tensed as his butler approached.
“Good morning, sir.” Mr. Lawrence nodded to him.
William pulled his pocket watch from his vest and checked the time. “Where is my family? Why haven’t they come down?”
Lawrence leaned closer and lowered his voice. “It appears there is illness in the house, sir.”
William frowned. “Who is ill?”
“One of the maids just informed me that Master Andrew and Miss Millicent are sick in bed.”
Alarm shot through William, and he scanned the line of servants again, searching for his housekeeper. “Where is Mrs. Emmitt?”
“She has gone up to check on them, sir.”
William glared toward the stairs and gallery. “What about Miss Ramsey and the young ladies? Are they ill as well?”
Dalton’s head jerked to the left, and he shot William a panicked glance.
William ignored him and focused on Lawrence.
“I have not seen them this morning, sir.”
William huffed, his irritation matching his concern. He wanted to dash up the stairs and search out the situation himself, but the staff waited. “Very well. In light of the children’s illness, we will dispense with Scripture reading this morning. Let us pray.”
He waited while the servants bowed their heads and closed their eyes, then he followed suit. A dark foreboding pressed down on his heart. Though he was master of Highland and head of his family, he had no real control over what would happen to his children. Their health and well-being were in the hands of God.
“Dear heavenly Father, we come today acknowledging our dependence upon You.” His throat tightened, and he had to swallow twice before he could go on. “We ask You to watch over our household and care for those who are ill. Please comfort and heal them, and give us wisdom as we carry out our duties to the best of our abilities. In the name of Christ our Lord we pray. Amen.”
Lawrence stepped forward. “How can I be of service, sir?”
“We may need to send for Dr. Hadley. I’ll go up to see the children and discuss it with Mrs. Emmitt.” But he had no idea if the housekeeper was knowledgeable about such matters. Blast! Why wasn’t Miss Foster here? She would know what to do.
“Very good, sir. I’ll await your orders.” Lawrence bowed slightly to William, then he nodded to the staff to dismiss them. They filed out, their mood somber.
William narrowed his eyes at Dalton as he passed, but the gardener stared straight ahead, his jaw set. There was no time to discuss matters with him this morning, and even if there were, William was not certain what he would say. He must settle things with Sarah before he spoke to Dalton again.
He hurried up the stairs and passed through the gallery. Sarah’s room as well as the nursery and schoolroom were in the east wing, on the opposite side of the house from William’s bedroom.
Mrs. Emmitt met him at the door of the children’s room and ushered him in. Both children lay in their beds, their faces flushed, hair damp, and their breathing heavy. Lydia sponged Millicent’s forehead while Ann stood by Andrew’s bed, her hands clasped and a tired, worried expression lining her young face.
“What is wrong with the children?”
Mrs. Emmitt leaned toward him. “Ann was up with them all night. Both have fevers, chills, headaches, stomachaches, and sore throats.” She glanced toward them with a weary sigh. “Their fevers are quite high. One of the kitchen maids is also sick with the same symptoms.”
“Do you think that’s how the children caught it?”
“I’m afraid so. We must be very careful and keep the others away so it doesn’t spread through the house.”
“I’ll send for the doctor.” William crossed to the desk. Taking out a sheet of paper, he quickly penned a note to Dr. Hadley, asking him to come as soon as possible. While the ink dried, he turned and considered whom he should send. The nursery maid seemed the least busy, so he summoned her and sent her off to find Lawrence or one of the footmen.
William scanned the children’s faces again. “Mrs. Emmitt, I’ll leave you in charge here.”
The housekeeper’s eyes widened. “I am not a trained nurse, and I have other duties to see to.”
Irritation burned in his chest. “You will stay until the doctor arrives or until I return with someone else to oversee the children’s care. Do you understand?”
Her m
outh puckered, but she gave a stiff nod. “Yes sir.” She turned back toward the children’s beds.
He strode down the hall to Sarah’s room and knocked on her door. After two seconds of silence, he was through waiting. “Sarah, the children are ill. I need your help.”
The door opened and she looked out, her eyes wide. “What’s wrong with the children?”
His voice suddenly locked in his throat, and he turned his head away.
“William, what is it?”
He swallowed. “They both have fevers and sore throats.”
She tipped her head, her expression easing. “I’m sure they’ll be fine. Children often catch—”
“No, this is serious. One look at them and—” His eyes suddenly burned, and he lifted his hand to rub them. Blast! He must get a grip on himself.
Sarah laid her hand on his arm. “It’s all right. I’ll go to them at once. You mustn’t worry.”
He straightened. “Thank you. I’ve sent for the doctor, but I’ll feel better knowing you’re there.”
She sent him a reassuring look, then hurried off to the children’s room.
William paced the hall. What would he do now? He didn’t have the experience or temperament for sickroom duty. But driving to fetch Dr. Hadley would be much quicker than harnessing the horses and sending a footman in the carriage.
He ran to his room and grabbed his hat, coat, and gloves, then hurried down the main staircase and out the front door. As he rounded the corner of the house, he saw a woman crossing the park. Recognition flashed through him, and he lifted his hand. “Miss Foster!”
She immediately changed course to meet him. “Good day, sir.”
“I’m glad you’ve come.”
Her eyes widened. “I wrote you a letter, but as I prayed about it, I thought I should bring it myself.” She took a letter from her coat pocket, then offered it to him.
“Thank you. I’ll read it soon. But for now, I need you to go to the house and attend the children. They’re both quite ill. I’m going to fetch the doctor.”
Concern filled her eyes. “Of course, sir. I’ll go to them at once.” She stepped away.
The Governess of Highland Hall: A Novel Page 17