Brett laughed with relief. “You’re lucky to be standing for me and I like you, or I’d kicked your ass for pulling that trick.”
“Thanks, my brother liked it too.” Patrick slid the rings back into his pocket.
"So, you nervous?" Eddie asked.
"Nope,” Brett answered.
"Not a little?”
"Come on, big bro," Nick said. "You can tell us. It won’t leave this room."
"I’m not nervous, guys. Jesus.”
"Not even a bit of cold feet?" Patrick asked, handing Brett his tie.
"No way, dude. I found a woman who loves me as I am, and I love her for what and who she is. It doesn’t get better than this.”
"Awww, aren’t you all warm and fuzzy. Since today’s your wedding, I’ll wait and bust your ass for that comment some other time.”
“Holy shit, no more heckling me about anything else today? Not even your famous short jokes?”
"Nope," Patrick said.
Eddie clapped his hands. “Speaking of short, we’re getting that on time. Chop, chop, boys, or K’s going to think she’s been stood up.”
******
The courtroom was buzzing with low voices as guests arrived and were seated. Pilar and Sharon soon appeared with Autumn, who was dressed in a Christmas red dress, matching headband, and tiny Mary Janes. She dozed off in her grandmother’s arms the moment Pilar and Sharon took their seats behind Nick and Eddie.
Judge Anthony Bass and his clerk entered, followed by Brett and Patrick, indicating the wedding was about to begin.
Patrick leaned towards Brett and placed a hand on his shoulder. "No turning back, bro," he whispered when Karen and Phoebe appeared.
"Thought never crossed my mind," Brett replied before he turned and smiled at his bride.
The entire ceremony lasted twenty minutes. When Brett and Karen were officially announced husband and the couple shared their first married kiss, applause broke out in the room. The noise woke Autumn, who began to fuss.
Patrick scooped up the baby. “Welcome back, sleepyhead. You missed the best part of the whole show. Well, maybe not; we’re going to dinner pretty soon.”
“I thought Brett was the only one who lived to eat,” Phoebe said.
“Stick around, Pheebs. Sometimes Pat can outdo me,” Brett said.
After the ceremony, everyone headed to their cars to go to the hotel Pilar had chosen for the reception. Brett and Karen walked hand in hand to their waiting limo, and once inside, she removed her heels. She leaned back with a relieved sigh.
"Baby, you all right?" he asked once he had told the driver where to go.
She smiled, pulled out a small bag, and slipped its contents onto her feet. “I am now. Thank God the people at Dr. Scholls created Fast Flats.”
The day was perfect; the sky was a beautiful cerulean and the puffs of clouds floating in them were pure white. The temperature was neither too hot nor too cold, so there was no need for the limo’s air conditioning. The newlyweds shared a glass of champagne on their way to the hotel, giggling and making out like teenagers until they arrived at their reception.
*****
"Everyone’s having a blast," Karen said, smiling as she posed for impromptu pictures with her husband, new in-laws, and friends. “I don’t think this could’ve come together without your help, Pilar.”
“I can’t take all the credit, dear. You had some good ideas too.”
Dinner was served, and everyone sat down to indulge in the array of delicacies that were offered before Patrick clinked his water glass and brought everyone’s attention up to the front of the room.
"I’d like to make a toast," he said. "You know, Brett, we’ve known each other for a long time, and I’ve both played a lot of practical jokes and teased the shit out of you sometimes."
“Sometimes. Hey, holmes, try every other day,” Brett replied.
"Okay, you win. Every other day. But you know, you couldn’t find a better woman than Karen, even though she has more life experience and more common sense.”
Laughter filled the room.
“Seriously, congratulations, guys. I wish you many years of happiness together." Everyone applauded and went back to their meals When dinner was over, the guests made their way to the dance floor to burn off some calories after the bridal dance..
Soon, it was time to cut the cake. Karen and Brett held the knife and cut the first piece of cake together. He was gentle feeding her the first bite. When it was Karen’s turn to feed Brett, Patrick yelled, “Shove it in his face!”
She did.
“Hey, no fair! I was nice!” He put icing on her nose. Soon, cake icing was all over each other’s faces as the guests laughed at their antics. Both went to the restroom to clean up their faces as everyone went back to what they were doing before the cake cutting.
Loud laughter filled the room again when an inebriated Patrick fell off his chair. “Looks like someone had one Corona too many,” Nick said with a grin.
“I have an idea,” Brett said. He pulled a large sombrero from a nearby cabinet and placed it on a passed-out Patrick’s head and drew a mustache with cake icing. “Give me your camera phone.”
Nick handed it over. “Be my guest. Make sure you save me a copy too.”
*****
The crowd became thin around midnight; many of the guests had either gone home or to their hotel rooms. Brett and Karen were also ready to leave.
“Fun has to end sometime,” she said.
Brett wiggled his eyebrows. “I thought it was just beginning.”
“Keep your mind out of the gutter until we get home, husband.”
Nick, Sharon and Pilar came over to the couple. Pilar was carrying Autumn, who was asleep. “We’re going to head upstairs,” Pilar said. “Looks like Autumn’s dead to the world.”
“Poor baby. I don’t think she’s see this much excitement,” Karen replied.
“We can take Autumn for the night. Not only will it give you newlyweds some time alone, but also there’s no point waking her.”
Brett nodded. “Sure. You’d need to come with us to pick up some diapers and her nightclothes.”
“No need,” Karen said. “There’s an emergency bag in the car’s trunk, just in case something like this happened.”
“Always prepared, huh?”
“With babies, a person has to be. Think you can go get the bag for your mom? It’s a light blue one, and I put it on the right side of the trunk.”
“Yeah. Be back in a few.”
She turned to Pilar. “Are you sure Autumn won’t be a problem tonight?”
“How can something so precious be a problem? We love spending time with her.”
“Meanwhile, I need to figure out a way to get Pat’s drunk ass upstairs,” Nick said. “I’ll meet you guys in the room. Congrats, Karen.”
“Thank you, Nick. Send me a copy of the sombrero picture too.”
“No problemo, senora. Consider it a wedding gift from me.”
Pilar looked confused. “Sombrero picture?”
Sharon rolled her eyes. “Patrick had too much to drink and passed out. Brett and Nick thought it was funny to paint a cake icing mustache on him and they found a big sombrero, put it on Pat’s head, and took a picture with Nick’s phone. I swear, I have the world’s weirdest brothers.”
Brett returned with the bag. “Here you are, guys, all set to go.” He smiled at Karen. “So, my new bride, are you ready to begin our marriage?”
She laughed and nodded. “Lead the way.”
*****
"Next time we’re going to have to be a little more quiet," Karen said with a chuckle as she lay in Brett’s arms after making love, a thin sheen of sweat coating their bodies. "The last thing we need is the neighbors calling the cops.”
"That’s your fault," Brett answered, kidding. "You’re the screamer."
Karen smacked his arm, giggling. “You weren’t exactly quiet either”
“Feels kind of odd without Little Bi
t here, huh?”
“Yes, I keep wanting to go to her room to make sure she’s okay before I remember your mom has her tonight. At least she’s in good hands.”
“With Grandma? More than good hands; Ma, Sharon, and Nick will have that kid spoiled by sunrise.”
“No kidding.” Karen yawned. “Not to be a party pooper on our wedding night, but we should get some sleep.”
They had just started to doze when the phone rang. With a groan, Brett grabbed the cordless on the nightstand. “Better be good for quarter to two in the morning.”
“I’m going to kill you and your fuckhead brother,” Patrick’s voice growled.
“Couldn’t that wait until morning?”
“Dude, is it not bad enough you all made fun of me for being drunk off my ass, but you had to paint icing all over me and put a stupid sombrero on my head? Worse, Nick posted that shit on YouTube!”
Brett sat up. “He did what? I swear to Christ, Pat, I had no idea he made video with his phone. Nick was just supposed to take pictures for a few people, specifically me and Karen.”
“It’s up there. Look under ‘Patrick Sanchez-Garcia Goes Wild’ when you get a chance.”
“Hold on. Let me get my BlackBerry.” Brett grabbed it out of a side drawer, turned it on, and searched for the video. “Freaking hell. You’re not the only one who wants to kick baby brother’s ass.”
“If I lose bookings from this shit, he dies,” Patrick said.
“Just report it and have them take it down, dude. I didn’t want wedding videos made for the reason they’d end up on YouTube anyway, let alone something like that. Jesus, what was Nick thinking?”
“He’s a dumb ass. Seriously, man, get that shit off of there.”
“Trust me, I’ll take care of it.” Brett hung up.
“What was that about?” Karen asked.
Brett told her, filling in the details.
“I don’t believe it. We didn’t even want video done at our wedding.”
“Exactly what I told Pat. Note to self: Give baby brother a royal ass chewing tomorrow when we pick up Little Bit.”
CHAPTER 85
There was no honeymoon following Brett and Karen’s wedding, as he was scheduled for both house shows and a television taping the following week. It didn’t bother Karen–by then, she was more than familiar with him having such a demanding schedule–but it annoyed Brett, who envisioned whisking his new bride away from any and all distractions for a week or two.
On Monday following his wedding, Brett defended his TV Title during the television taping against Zipper, his latest opponent.
“Ready?” Brett asked in a low voice after he was introduced.
“Let’s do it,” Zipper answered.
They locked and Brett took Zipper down with some arm drags. They locked again and Brett put a side headlock. Zipper whipped him off, but Brett knocked him down with a shoulder block.. Brett went into the ropes and took Zipper out with a hip toss. Zipper left the ring to recover before he returned and kicked Brett.
He sent Brett into the ropes and Brett kicked him in the face. Brett did a front press and dropkicked Zipper in the face.
He a clothesline and took down Zipper before hitting a flapjack. Brett set up Zipper for the Slice of Kerrigan, but Zipper tackled Brett and put him in a roll up for a near fall.
Brett countered another clothesline into a T-Bone Suplex for a near fall. He hit a drive-by kick on Zipper in the corner but Zipper had a foot on the rope before the three count.
Zipper went to the apron and snapped Brett off the rope. He went for the Big Zip, but Brett held the ropes. He attempted Slice of Kerrigan one more time, but Zipper managed to escape out of the ring.
By the time Zipper attempted to return inside the ring, the referee completed the ten-count, and Brett retained his championship. Zipper threw a fit outside as Brett preened with his title. The match would mark his record as the longest-reigning TV Champion.
*****
“I’ll say this much, you are one tough, unbeatable dude,” Zipper said while he and Brett changed in the locker room. He shook Brett’s hand. “Strange as it sounds, it was a pleasure being your opponent.”
Brett grinned at the roster’s newest member. “Pleasure’s mine. What better way to break into your new job?”
“Good point, man. How long have you been TV Champ?”
“Almost seven months.”
“Lucky bastard. By the way, heard you got married last week. Congratulations.”
“Thanks, bro.”
“Guess you’re heading home to the bride, eh?”
“Sure, but I thought I’d go unwind a little first.”
“Won’t she pissed if you get home late?”
“Karen? Hell no. She understands the business, and is the least jealous woman I know outside of my own mother.” Brett picked up his bag. “Care to join me? I’ll get a tab going at a little pub down the street.”
Zipper laughed. “That will give fans something to discuss. Didn’t we all but beat the hell out of each other about twenty minutes ago?”
“Yeah, but where’s the rule that says a champ can’t be nice to a newbie outside the ring? I was new once, too.”
*****
Patrick’s concern about his image appearing on YouTube– and his reputation being tarnished–as a result of Nick’s prank were unwarranted. The video received over 100,000 views from around the world, and those numbers were still climbing. The subsequent comments under the video were mostly positive ones, prompting Patrick to make it part of his new DVD compilation–and gave credit to Nick, of course.
“I decided to let your baby brother live this time,” he told Brett during one of their phone calls.
Brett was amused. “Now don’t you feel guilty about interrupting my wedding night?”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I was pissed, had the beginning of a hangover, and not thinking straight. Karen wasn’t mad?”
“If she was, nothing was mentioned.”
“Anyway, enough about me, how’s married life?”
“Can’t complain. Much as I love wrestling, I didn’t realize what I’ve missed over the years until I started coming home to a family of my own. You know, you’re going to be thirty-one next April. Time to consider settling down yourself, home fries.”
“Jesus Christ, now you’re starting to sound like Mami. ‘Jacob got married. He and Vicki Lynn are talking about kids. When are you going to find a nice girl, Patrick?’ Fucking hell, kill me now.”
“She’s not getting any younger, and neither are you.”
“Very funny, consider you have a year on me.”
“I have a wife and kid too. Seriously, Pat, it’s time for you to quit skirt chasing and find somebody decent. Who wants to grow old alone? Maybe Karen and I can put together a dinner the next time you’re in Orlando—”
“Hell no! I don’t do blind dates, and I sure not meeting anyone from your crowd of dorks.”
“Okay, but no skin off of my teeth if you end up alone when you’re eighty.”
“Who knows, I may be the one who ends up dying happy. Now quit acting like my mother. Having one of those is more than enough.”
CHAPTER 86
“Patrick needs a steady woman,” Brett told Karen over dinner that night.
She stared at him. “What brought up that subject?”
“Just something I’ve been thing for a long time, even more so since you and I were married.”
“Honey, shouldn’t such a step be Patrick’s decision? He’s a big boy.”
“In chronological age. Mental age, sometimes I think he’s still a teenager.” Brett snapped his fingers. “I have an idea!”
“Oh, lord, do I want to hear this?”
“Work with me for a moment. You know about the woman who works on his official website, right?”
“Laura? Of course. She adores Patrick and has been loyal to him for as long as we can remember. Why?”
“I think we need to eithe
r send her to L.A. for a date with Pat, or work up some kind of ruse to bring both of them to Orlando.”
“Oh, no, buster, you are not involving me in your little scheme.”
“Come on, just one date to see how it works out. I’m not expecting him to propose to her.”
“Really, Brett, you’re behaving like a meddling old woman.”
“You have a better idea?”
“Yes, it’s called Patrick being old enough to make decisions about his own life. He’ll know when he’s ready to settle down with someone. I don’t remember him sticking his nose in your love life.”
“Rest assured he did long before I met you, or should I say he gave me a daily reminder of my lack of one?”
“Still, leave the poor man alone. Besides, it’s his mother’s job to find a nice girl for him, not yours.”
Karen picked up Autumn from her high chair and handed the baby to Brett. “Could you do me a favor and change her while I start the dishes?”
He scooped Autumn into his arms. “Come on, Little Bit, time to pee on Daddy again,” he said in a joking tone. “In the meantime, maybe you can listen to my ideas on how to find someone nice for Papi Pat…”
Karen shook her head and began taking dishes to the kitchen. Some men just never listen, and they have the stones to talk about women sticking their noses where they don’t belong?
*****
“Watch this, kiddo,” Brett said to Autumn. He was on his laptop, composing an email. “Mommy may not like me doing something like this, but I have a feeling she and Papi Pat will thank me later.”
Autumn giggled, having no idea what her father was saying. She laughed anyway, in case it was something funny.
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