by Malone, Nana
“I have a few things to say. You can hate me all you want, but you’ll hear me out.”
“I think I’ve heard you out enough.”
“I know. I wish I could say I’m sorry and mean it, but I’m not, so I won’t. I just needed to see you before I left town.”
He turned his back on her and stalked into the house. “Why does that not surprise me? So what’s the deal? She’s sending you to rehab in exchange for what?”
“I, ah, I get to go to rehab if I promise to leave Nick alone until he’s ready to see me.” She fiddled with the clutch purse in her hand. “I know as far as you’re concerned, I’m an evil bitch.”
He leaned up against the dining room table, light streamed in through the sliding glass doors behind him and lit her face in shadow. “You’re right about that. You’re an evil bitch, but then not much has changed since we were kids.”
“I never should have kept you from Izzy when you came back. I never should have kept Nick a secret from you. I never should have blackmailed you. Just about the only good thing I’ve done in my life is leave Nick with Izzy. I couldn’t take care of him, and let’s face it, Jason, you would have been a useless father.”
“I never got the chance to make that choice for myself. You stole that from me.” Jason could have sworn he saw remorse flit across her pretty features.
“You can moan about it all you want. The truth is we all made mistakes. Maybe I should have told you about Nick, maybe not. But you tried to keep our past secret from her, and that’s on you. Not me, not her, but you.” She swiped at her nose. “I needed the money, so I got it from the logical source.”
“You’re a piece of work.”
“Don’t I know it.”
“You used Nick’s safety, and my feelings for Izzy against me.”
She shrugged. “I don’t deny it.”
His voice chilled by degrees. “Then what the fuck do you want from me, ‘cause I get the impression you’re not feeling all that sorry.”
“You don’t have to listen to me, but I’m here to ask you to go easy on Izzy and the kid. They need each other. If you want custody of him, fine you have a right to him, but you’ve got to share it with Izzy.”
“Why would you give that to her? From what I can see you’ve never even liked her.”
“I don’t, but she’s done right by me when she didn’t have to. She’s the best parent for Nick. Always has been. None of this was her fault. Not like she knew he was yours.” The muscles in her lips trembled into a semblance of a smile. “If she’d known, she would have fought all the more to adopt him sooner. She’s always loved you.”
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Izzy retched into the studio’s corner wastebasket. All she’d been able to think about was Nick’s paternity test. The lab had called that morning. Nick was for sure Jason’s son.
She’d asked the doctor if he was sure, and he’d assured her without a doubt that the results were accurate. Damn them with their 99.86% probabilities.
Her entire world was falling apart, and her body knew it. Spitting out the bile, she straightened. Maybe it was a bug. Between the gallery opening, and Nick, and the whole Sabrina-Jason thing, her schedule was erratic and hectic.
“When were you going to tell me?”
She whipped around to face Jessica. “Tell you what? That I’m sick?” She shrugged and added, “It’s no big deal. I hope it passes soon though, I can’t afford to be run down now, between paternity tests and press people, and my editor and additional clie—”
Jessica shook her head, interrupting. “Honey, even you can’t be that distracted.” Moving forward, she handed Izzy a cup of water. “How late are you?”
“Late?”
Jessica rolled her eyes. “You know preggers?”
Izzy’s stomach rolled. Too nauseous to process the question, she hugged the wastebasket to her chest.
Jessica continued. “With child, lack of Aunt Flo, about to be Shamu the whale?”
Izzy swallowed around the nausea. “I’m not pregnant, Jessica.” She waved a hand. “It’s got to be the flu. Simon had it last week. I’m not pregnant,” she stated more adamantly.
Jessica kneeled in front of her. “Is it at least possible?”
“No, of course it’s not po—” Izzy halted, suddenly remembering making love on the rug in Jason’s living room. She remembered the smooth moist tip of his erec—Shit. She’d forgotten her pills when she and Nick stayed at Jason’s. She’d made up the pack, so she hadn’t given it much thought. She cleared her throat, cast a guilty look at Jessica and nodded. “Yeah, it’s possible.”
There was a time for lectures and a time for support. Jess knew her well enough to know now wasn’t a lecture time. “Right. So first things first. You need to pee on a stick.”
In a flurry of activity, she made notes, grabbed calendars and rushed into the reception area. “I’ll call your doctor for a confirmation sometime in the next couple of days, but you’ll probably feel better after you know for sure,” she shouted from the reception desk.
She strode into the studio, oversized hobo bag in hand, and rummaged through it. When she procured a pregnancy home kit from the bag, Izzy stared, agog.
“You carry around pregnancy tests in your bag?”
“You never know when they’re going to come in handy.” She shrugged.
Izzy grabbed her hand. Voice shaking, she whispered the one fear she’d been unable to admit to herself until now. “Jess, what am I going to do? You see how Jason is about Nick? I don’t know if I can do this.”
Jess squeezed back. “Right now, you don’t have to do anything except pee on that stick. You’re a strong woman. You can do this. And anything you can’t do, I’ll do. And your mom and Nick. So what if Prince Charming is full of warts?”
Izzy felt the weak smile tug at her lips. “He’s a particularly resistant species of toad. No amount of kissing turned him into a prince.”
Jessica smiled back. “Maybe you didn’t kiss him hard enough?”
Izzy’s smile widened hand pointing at her belly. “Well, I did more than kiss him—several times. If that didn’t aid the transformation, I don’t know what will.”
Jessica choked on a laugh. “That’s the Izzy I know. You’re Izzy Connors, and you’ve got people who love you. You can move mountains.” Jessica paused. “Including deal with the horde of paparazzi on the lawn outside.”
Izzy felt the blast of a migraine coming on. “You’re shitting me.”
“I shit you not. Looks like the story leaked about the paternity test.”
“Shit.” She took a deep breath. “Shit, shit, and more shit.”
“Look, I’m already on it. I called the cops to remove them. You’ll probably want to talk to the toad before anything else leaks to the press. You don’t want that.”
No, Izzy didn’t want to talk to the toad, but she was fresh out of options. She didn’t know if she was strong enough for two custody battles with Jason.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Was she really too cute for jail? Would the DA prosecute if she shot a member of the paparazzi and buried him in the desert? Wiping her hands down her jeans after she placed a casserole in the oven, Izzy went to pull the drapes in the family room. Thanks to the security Jason had sent over, the paps stayed on the street, not her lawn. But when the sun went down, they’d have a clear view into the house. Her neighbors had already complained as had she, but there was little the police could do.
She walked down the hallway to her room with every intention of lying down for a few minutes. She’d had a headache going on a week solid now, and it showed no signs of going away.
“Nick? Have you finished your homework. Jessica can take it in the morning if you have.”
He didn’t answer her. She sighed. He’d been impossible since she and Jason had sat him down. Rude, staying up late, talking back—all uncharacteristic. He was going through a lot, but she’d only put up with so much before she started slapping
on the consequences.
She stood outside his door and knocked. “Nick, did you hear me about your homework?”
Tempted to open the door, something she would have done before the age of twelve with no qualms, she knew better than to open unannounced now. “Nicholas, if you don’t open the door in three, I’m coming in.”
When he didn’t open the door, she went in with the full expectation to see him brooding on his bed, the sounds of Snoop Dogg blaring from his earphones. But she didn’t find anything, he wasn’t there.
Quickly she backtracked to the living room, not there either. She did a quick sweep of the rest of the house, calling Jessica at the studio in the process. “Jessica, is Nick there?”
Izzy heard the snap of a popping bubble in her ear. “No, ma’am. But you just left here yourself. He didn’t pass you?”
“Oh, God. Jessica, he’s gone.”
****
Jason walked his body through the series of stretches Brian insisted on for dexterity. His muscles weren’t used to so much torture, but since his life was such a mess at the moment, working out was one thing he knew would relieve the tension. Make that the only thing.
Izzy wasn’t on the menu, and he didn’t want anyone else. He heard the doorbell mid-stretch. God damn it. They didn’t give up. The reporters had never been so bold as to come straight up to the door.
He yanked open the door and stepped back in shock. “Nick? Are you by yourself?” His eyes scanned the front lawn for Izzy.
Nick’s eyes were stormy as he walked into the house. “What’s the matter, Dad, aren’t you happy to see me? Am I going to ruin your set up or something?”
He stepped aside to let Nick through. “I’m happy you’re here, Nick. I’m just wondering how you got here. Did your mom drop you off?”
Nick scowled. “Don’t you mean my glorified babysitter?”
Damn. He’d seen the papers. “Nick, I’m sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.” Jason led Nick into the kitchen and handed him a soda. He almost thought better of it after he remembered Izzy didn’t want Nick to have too much sugar. What the hell? She wasn’t there.
“Nick, the press sucks. I take the good with the bad. But they had no right to go after you or Izzy, and for that, I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath. “I’m just trying to make it right.”
Nick didn’t look like he believed him. “Do you know what the kids at school are asking me? They keep asking what it’s like to have my own mammie. And if that now you’re my dad if I’ll move to the big house.”
Jason sucked in his breath. He figured it would be bad, but he hadn’t taken into account the kinds of things that people would say. “Shit, Nick. I’m so sorry. I screwed all this up.” He shook his head. “I only wanted the chance to get to know you better.”
Nick sniffed and swiped at his face. “Is all this why you pretended to like me? ‘Cause you were trying to figure it out?” He sniffed again. “Or were you trying to get close to my mom?”
“Nick, I—”
“’Cause that’s what she is. I don’t want to come live with you.” Nick glowered and lifted his chin as he glared.
Jason felt like an ass. He knew he was an ass. “Nick, I never intended to take you away from your mother.”
Nick scowled, and his chin went up a fraction. “But the court, they might make me come and stay here. I’m not coming.”
Was he that bad? “You don’t have to come, Nick. But I will come to you.” Jason added, “I know better than anyone, that just because a guy makes a donation doesn’t mean he’s a father. I didn’t know about you, so I missed out on getting to be a dad. But now that I do, I’m going be there for you if it kills the both of us.”
“What if I don’t want you around?”
Jason smiled. “I figure you’ll get used to me.”
Nick squinted. “Are you sure you’re not going to come make me live here?”
“I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to. Like your mom, I want what’s best for you.” To Jason’s surprise, he meant it. At first he’d been angry because he hadn’t known about Nick, but he knew Izzy had taken good care of him.
Nick nodded, and the tension ebbed out of his shoulders. Shyly, he peered at Jason over the rim of his Coke can. “I, uh, when you came over that day…” He paused before continuing. “I thought you and Mom were gonna say you were getting married or something.”
Well, hell. That, he hadn’t expected. “If your mom didn’t hate me, I’d say it might have been a possibility.”
Nick shrugged. “She doesn’t hate anyone. Not even people she should.”
Jason had a suspicion Nick meant Sabrina, so he didn’t say anything to encourage the line of thought. “How did you get all the way over here?”
Nick gave his classic teenager shrug. “Cab. I snuck out the side door of the studio so the shutterbugs wouldn’t see me.”
Snuck out? “Good thing you were able to avoid them, but does your mom know you’re here?”
Nick cringed and had the grace to look remorseful. “I might have forgotten to tell her.”
Jason clenched his jaw. “Nick, that doesn’t work. You have to call her.” Jason strode to the cordless and dialed the number he’d committed to memory.
When she answered, he didn’t bother to mince words. “Izzy, it’s Jason. About Nick.”
She didn’t let him get out another word before she started sobbing into the phone. “Jason, he’s gone. I’ve called every friend he has and sent Jessica on a hunt all over the neighborhood. I almost asked the damn cameramen if they’d seen him.”
“Izzy, relax. He’s here.”
“What?”
“He’s here. He’s safe. I can drive him home after—”
“No, I’m on my way.” She hung up before giving him the chance to respond.
When she appeared forty-five minutes later, he wondered what traffic laws she’d broken to get from Pasadena to Malibu in such record time.
She stormed in searching around for Nick. When she saw him, she grabbed him in a hug so fierce, Jason worried about Nick’s air supply.
She pulled back examining him. “You know you’re grounded, right? No phone, no friends, no practice.”
Sheepish, Nick nodded as she squeezed him again. Jason watched from the foyer, a little jealous of the bond they shared. He hoped they’d be able to let him in at some point.
“Nick, can you give us a minute? I need to talk to Jason.”
Nick nodded and made himself scarce, knowing where to find the media room.
When Nick was out of earshot, she rounded on Jason. “Did you ask him to come here? Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”
Jason stalked over to her. “No. I didn’t ask him to come. His arrival was as much a surprise to me as it was to you. And the moment I found out he didn’t have permission to be here, I called you.”
She nodded and looked around as if she wasn’t sure about which way to look. “He’s okay. He wasn’t hurt or anything when he got here?”
He reached out to pull her into his arms. “You saw him. He’s fine.”
She trembled in his embrace. “I was so worried. Then I was mad. Then I thought some crazy paparazzo had gotten him. Then I started to freak out that some crazed fan of yours got him.”
She spoke so fast, Jason had to strain to hear every sentence. “He’s okay. He’s safe. So are you. Everything will be okay.”
He pulled her into him, needing her close. This was the first time she hadn’t fought him since Sabrina had told him about Nick. He hushed her and stroked her hair.
He held on as long as he could, telling himself he only needed to hold her a little longer and everything would be okay.
She pulled back to look at him. “Jason?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
She furrowed her brow, then wiggled out of his grasp and ran to the bathroom off the hallway.
“Izzy? Are you okay?” He knocked on the door. “Baby?”
/>
She flushed, and he could hear the sink running. When she opened the door, her skin was clammy, and she averted her gaze. “I didn’t expect you to follow me.”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine. Nothing wrong with me that hasn’t been wrong with women for millennia.”
He frowned. “I don’t get it. What’s wrong with you?”
She buried her face in her hands and mumbled something unintelligible.
“Try again.”
“I’m pregnant.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
“You’re what?” Jason breathed, eyes wide.
Suddenly the hallway felt too small, as if Jason was using all the air she preciously needed. Izzy shoved past him and walked into the living room. She didn’t make it far before he took her arm and turned her around.
“Izzy, tell me again.”
Exasperated, Izzy blew her bangs out of her face. “I’m pregnant, okay?” And because she was so raw and scared, and more tired than she’d ever been in her life, she continued in anger. “And yes, it’s yours. And yes, I’m the idiot who missed a pill. And no, I’m not trying to trap you, and no, I don’t want anything from you. And no, we won’t be working out custody.”
He put up his hands in surrender. “Izzy, easy. Calm down. I wasn’t—I mean I didn’t—” He took a deep breath and raked his hands through his hair. “You have to give me a second to process this. I went from having no kids, to one kid and now two. It’s all a bit much.”
“A bit much.” She kept her voice low. “How do you think I feel, Jason? I’m finally going to have a baby, and the father is none other than the man fighting me for custody of my other child. You don’t even want children.”
“Now, wait a minute.” He couldn’t let her continue. “I’ve never said I don’t children. I’ve never given much thought to family. Mostly because mine was so shitty.” He took a breath. “It’s just a bit more than I ever thought I’d have to handle.”