Dedication
For Cathy Ann Horn,
wild and free forever—H. P.
For Genevieve—L. A.
Dedication
Chapter 1: Sick as a Dog Finally
Chapter 2: Not a Fit Night for Amelia Bedelia or Beast
Chapter 3: Heard Instinct
Chapter 4: Dog & Pony Show (and Snakes and Mice and Everything Else)
Chapter 5: The Best-Laid Plans of Mice and Amelia Bedelia
Chapter 6: Watched Like a Shauk
Chapter 7: Leapin’ Lizards—a Glacial Gecko!
Chapter 8: Pet Peeved
Chapter 9: Monkeyshines
Chapter 10: Monkey Saw, Monkey Did
Chapter 11: A Sheep in Sheep’s Clothing
Chapter 12: Getting Skunked Twice
Chapter 13: More Fun Than a Barrel of Monkeys
Chapter 14: Monkey Show Business
Chapter 15: Grim and Bear It
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Excerpt from Amelia Bedelia Shapes Up
Two Ways to Say It
About the Author and Illustrator
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
Amelia Bedelia was sick. She was really, really, really, really, really sick. She was sick of being in her bedroom. She was sick of playing with her animals and dolls.
She was sick of watching nature programs on TV. She was sick of gazing out the window at the beautiful spring day. She was sick of thinking about how much fun her class was having without her on the field trip to the zoo. Most of all, she was sick of being sick.
“How’s the worst patient in the world?” asked Amelia Bedelia’s mother. She put a bowl of soup and a grilled cheese sandwich on Amelia Bedelia’s desk, along with Amelia Bedelia’s favorite fruit, a banana.
Amelia Bedelia stood up in bed.
“I’m all better now!” she announced.
To prove it, she jumped up and started waving her arms around. Quickly she plopped back down again.
“Mommy,” she said, “make the room stop spinning!”
“Don’t make yourself dizzy, sweetie,” her mother said, tucking her back in. “I don’t want you to fall and hit your head, on top of having the flu!”
Amelia Bedelia began coughing.
“Are you okay?” asked her mother. “This pesky flu is one tough bug!”
“Flu comes from an insect?” said Amelia Bedelia. “That’s gross! It’s not fair that a tiny bug stopped me from going to the zoo. I’m missing all the cool animals!”
Only one good thing had happened while Amelia Bedelia was sick. She had gotten to watch a television show about monkeys, and she learned an amazing thing. Since monkeys eat lots of bananas, they have figured out a fast way to peel them. Instead of starting at the hard stalk at the top, they turn the banana upside down. Then they pinch the little nub at the bottom, and the skin falls right off!
Amelia Bedelia peeled her banana the way she had seen the monkeys do it on TV. Presto! It worked! The skin fell right off. Amelia Bedelia ate her banana, but she didn’t touch anything else. She was too sick!
When Amelia Bedelia’s father got home from work, he sat on Amelia Bedelia’s bed and began polishing off her sandwich and soup.
“Still sick as a dog, huh?” he asked. He looked around Amelia Bedelia’s bedroom. “Hey, speaking of dogs, where’s Finally?”
Amelia Bedelia was about to sneeze, so she pointed to her dog, who was curled up on a dog bed in the corner of her room.
“Ah-ah-AHHHH . . . CHOO!”
“Choo!” sneezed Finally, at exactly the same time.
“That’s a neat trick,” said her father. “So is Finally as sick as a dog too?”
“She has no choice,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Finally is a dog. She can’t be as sick as an elephant.”
“Good point,” said her dad. “Hey, you aren’t playing possum, are you? You didn’t miss your trip to the zoo on purpose.”
“Daddy, what are you talking about?” asked Amelia Bedelia. “If I was a possum, I’d have my own cage at the zoo.”
Amelia Bedelia’s mother came in just as her father was swallowing the last bite of grilled cheese. “Oh, Amelia Bedelia,” she said. “I’m glad you managed to eat your sandwich. You need to get your strength back.”
Amelia Bedelia’s father put his finger to his lips to signal that what had happened to her sandwich would be their secret. “I need my strength too,” he said. “It’s a jungle out there! My office is a total zoo. It was wild today!”
“Sorry, honey,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “Come tell me all about it in the kitchen, so Amelia Bedelia can rest.”
“I almost forgot . . . little possum!” said Amelia Bedelia’s father from the doorway. “Did you hear what happened today? A monkey escaped from the zoo! Maybe it’s a good thing you stayed home. They might have mistaken you for him. We’d be sneaking into the zoo right this minute to rescue you!”
Usually Amelia Bedelia’s father’s jokes made her laugh. This was not one of those times, though. She really was sick!
Amelia Bedelia’s mother rolled her eyes. “Come along, honey,” she said. “I need help with dinner.”
Amelia Bedelia buried her face in her pillow. She was sick, and now she was heartsick too. This disaster was getting worse. Not only had she missed the thrill of being at the zoo on an amazing field trip, but a monkey had escaped while her class was there! That would never, ever happen again. What if she had been able to capture it? What if—wha . . . whaaa-CHOO!
Amelia Bedelia felt more miserable than ever. The only thing she’d caught was a bug—the flu. She burrowed under her blankets like a hibernating bear. It was getting windy outside. Thunder was rumbling closer. Tree branches clattered against her window. They sounded like claws tapping and scratching. Her dad was right. It was a jungle out there! Lightning flashed and thunder roared. Or was that an enormous lightning bug and a lion? Amelia Bedelia tossed and turned. She felt hot, then cold. Strange pictures popped into her head.
Her stuffed animals were on the move. A penguin waddled behind a koala riding a hippopotamus. The animals gathered in a circle on her bedspread, drinking from a water hole at her feet.
Suddenly she was in her backyard. The sky was filled with enormous puffy clouds shaped like flamingoes. A giant bunny and an otter peeked out from behind her mom’s azaleas. A giraffe was nibbling on their garage. Then her class came walking by.
Amelia Bedelia was so glad to see everyone.
“How was the zoo?” she asked.
“The zoo was nice,” said her friend Clay. “But your backyard is way better. Help us look for the missing monkey!”
Amelia Bedelia and her classmates searched everywhere, and she introduced them to all of her animals.
“Do you feel better, pretty pup?” said Amelia Bedelia when she spotted Finally next to the birdbath.
“I’m fine now,” said Finally. “But for a while, I was as sick as Amelia Bedelia!”
Amelia Bedelia couldn’t believe that her dog was actually talking! Her cheeks burned hotter and hotter and her head pounded . . . until, at last, her fever broke. She listened to the rain gently drumming on her window and fell asleep.
The next morning, as soon as Amelia Bedelia woke up, she had the strangest idea of her life. It was a really Big Idea. She wanted to go to school right away and tell her friends (even though it was Saturday). She needed their help. Amelia Bedelia was certain that when they heard her Big Idea, they would be as excited as she was. They might think it was weird or even wacky. But one thing was certain . . . it was going to be wild.
By Monday, Amelia Bedelia had beaten her flu bug and was back in school. S
he couldn’t wait to tell everyone about her Big Idea. But her classmates were still talking and laughing about their super-fun field trip. She felt bad—not sick, just left out.
“Class!” called out their teacher, Mrs. Shauk. She had long, pointy fingernails painted shiny red. Her nickname was “the Hawk,” because she saw everything, even with her back turned. “Settle down, please,” she said.
Feeling the gaze of the Hawk upon her, Amelia Bedelia sat up straighter.
“Amelia Bedelia,” said Mrs. Shauk, “we’re glad you are feeling better. We really missed you on the field trip, so we got you a souvenir from the gift shop.”
Suzanne presented Amelia Bedelia with a box decorated with pictures of animals. Everyone gathered around Amelia Bedelia’s desk as she opened it. Staring up at her from the tissue paper was the cutest plush monkey she’d ever seen! The gift made her feel a lot better. She gave the monkey a big hug and Suzanne a bigger hug. “Thanks for thinking of me,” she said to everyone.
“It’s a life-size squirrel monkey,” said Suzanne. “That’s the same kind that escaped from the zoo. It ran right by us!”
“I thought it was a baby,” said Chip.
“I thought it was you,” said Daisy.
“Oook-oook-chaboook!” chirped Chip.
Everyone burst out laughing. Mrs. Shauk clapped three times to restore order.
“Amelia Bedelia,” she said, “we have other exciting things to share with you. Before the trip, you were each assigned an animal to investigate. And now that you’ve seen the real thing, I want each of you to write a report about your animal. You can add pictures if you’d like, and be prepared to present your research to the class this afternoon.”
Amelia Bedelia had chosen monkeys as her animal. But she wondered how she was going to write her report if she hadn’t seen a real one at the zoo. Staring at the stuffed squirrel monkey perched on her desk, Amelia Bedelia got an idea. She would take the banana her mom had packed in her lunch box and show everyone how a monkey would peel it. She would be presenting something she’d seen a monkey do, even if it was only on TV.
“Feel free to share your writing with one another,” Mrs. Shauk said. “Make suggestions and helpful comments. But please, no reading aloud.”
No reading allowed? That made no sense to Amelia Bedelia. “If there’s no reading allowed,” she asked, “how will we know what anyone else wrote?”
“You’re allowed to read, but not aloud,” said Mrs. Shauk.
Amelia Bedelia wished Mrs. Shauk would make up her mind. Was reading allowed or not allowed?
“Can I read or not?” she asked.
“Of course,” said Mrs. Shauk. “I just need to be able to hear myself think.”
Amelia Bedelia was even more confused. She’d never, ever heard herself think, and now reading was not allowed. Amelia Bedelia hadn’t missed that many days of school, had she?
She felt lost and began wishing she had the flu again so she could go home. Amelia Bedelia got up to get her banana from her cubby so she could work on her report.
“Where are you going?” asked Mrs. Shauk.
“I need my banana for writing,” said Amelia Bedelia.
“Use your pencil, please,” said Mrs. Shauk. “It writes better than a banana.”
Everyone giggled as Amelia Bedelia sat back down. Now she couldn’t even write about peeling a banana. What should she do?
Aha! thought Amelia Bedelia. She would write about her Big Idea.
After lunch, everyone presented their reports. Amelia Bedelia learned many interesting facts about the animals at the zoo. When it was her turn, Amelia Bedelia stood up and read.
My Zoo by Amelia Bedelia
I was too sick to go to the zoo. I was very sad. So I set up my stuffed animals like they were in the zoo. I visited them in my room. That night, I dreamed there were animals in my backyard. There were all kinds of creatures, normal ones and weird ones. I dreamed that you all came to see them. Some of the animals where were your pets, but dressed up like they were wild. That is why I have decided to make a zoo in my backyard. Come over to my house after school and help me plan what it will look like and what animals will be in it. Bring your pets too, if you would like them to be in my zoo.
Amelia Bedelia sat down. The room was completely quiet. She picked up her squirrel monkey and tickled its ears. Did they think her report was dumb?
Finally Clay whistled. “That would be wild, Amelia Bedelia,” he said.
“I hope so,” said Amelia Bedelia. “That’s my plan.”
Amelia Bedelia had forgotten the best part, so she stood up again and added, “If you come over, I’ll show you how a monkey eats a banana. It’s really cool.”
Everyone cheered.
“Our field trip to the zoo isn’t over yet,” said Teddy. “It’s just moved to Amelia Bedelia’s backyard!”
As usual, Amelia Bedelia rode the bus home. And as usual, her mother was waiting for her at the bus stop.
“Mom,” said Amelia Bedelia, “do we have lots of bananas, like maybe a ton of bananas?”
“Of course, sweetie,” said her mother. “They’re your favorite.”
“Good. Because we might need them.” As they walked home, Amelia Bedelia explained to her mother that, right at that moment, almost her entire class was asking permission to come over to Amelia Bedelia’s house to work on a zoo project.
“Is it okay?” she asked. “Please? We’ll stay in the yard and we won’t mess anything up.”
“Sounds like a Big Idea to me,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “I’ll make some calls. I bet we can make it work.” She set two large bunches of bananas on the kitchen table. “Here you go.”
“Thanks, Mom!” Amelia Bedelia gave her mother a big hug, grabbed the bananas, and headed outside with a notebook and pencil. She put the bananas on the patio table and drew a map of her backyard. She labeled it MY BACKYARD, B.Z. (BEFORE ZOO). This map showed her what she had to work with and how to put things back where they belonged when her project was over. She even made a key.
Once Amelia Bedelia figured out what she wanted, she would make another drawing called MY BACKYARD, A.Z. (AFTER ZOO).
The kids from Amelia Bedelia’s class started showing up one by one. Everyone went out back. Amelia Bedelia walked around her yard with her friends, investigating the possibilities. She got so many good ideas. For example, Skip loved her rope swing. He gave her an idea each time he swung by.
“Make this swing . . .
. . . part of the zoo. . . .
. . . You swing into the zoo . . .
. . . like an explorer. . . .
. . . There should be water . . .
. . . a pool of water . . .
. . . you have to swing over . . .
. . . to get into the zoo!”
Amelia Bedelia wrote everything down in her notebook. “I’ve got a wading pool,” she said. “I’ll fill it up and put it underneath the swing.”
“Perfect,” said Skip. Then he yelled like an ape-man. “Ahhh-y-ahhh-yeeeeh-ohhhh!!!”
Amelia Bedelia’s mother ran outside carrying a first-aid kit. “Who got hurt? Where’s the patient?”
Skip was embarrassed to say that he had yelled just for fun. Amelia Bedelia was embarrassed that her mom was acting like she worked in the emergency room. “Mom,” she said, “no one is hurt. And no one is going to get hurt!”
A few minutes later, Angel was dropped off by her babysitter. She was carrying a really big cage. She set it down on the patio and whipped off the cloth covering.
“Whoa!” said Clay. “Is that a python?”
“Yup,” said Angel. “It’s a ball python. Her name is Squeezer.”
Amelia Bedelia couldn’t believe that Angel actually had a snake for a pet! As Squeezer coiled and uncoiled and slithered around the cage, Angel explained how she cared for her. “She only moves around when she’s hungry,” she said. “And she’s nocturnal. That means she’s active at night and mostly sleeps during
the day.”
“Squeezer will be the star of the zoo,” said Amelia Bedelia. “That’s for sure!”
Everyone brought an animal or an interesting animal display. Roger brought a deer’s head mounted on a plaque. The deer had big antlers. “This is a trophy buck,” he said. “We keep it in our family room.”
“Where’s the rest of it?”asked Amelia Bedelia.
“We ate it,” said Roger.
Amelia Bedelia didn’t know what to say about that, but she knew that Roger’s dad probably wouldn’t be thrilled to have his prized deer displayed in a backyard zoo. She told Roger that live animals were more exciting than parts of a dead one, so he went home to find something else.
Penny arrived wearing a white mouse on her shoulder. “Meet Oswald,” she said. “He’d love to be in your zoo.”
Oswald was the cutest mouse Amelia Bedelia had ever seen! His tiny ears were adorable, and his eyes were sparkly brown. This zoo was going to be fantastic!
Amelia Bedelia spent the rest of the afternoon meeting gerbils, hamsters, chinchillas, and rabbits, and making lists of ideas in her notebook . . . until there was a problem . . . a long slithering problem.
“Where’s Oswald?” yelled Penny. “My mouse is missing! Oswald? Oswald!”
Everyone searched the yard for Oswald. They looked absolutely everywhere, but there was no sign of the little white mouse.
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