"Octavia II is postponed indefinitely." The officer's voice softened as he added, "We just can't risk sending more of you up there. I'm sorry, Commander, Chief. We'll have more for you soon. Our thoughts and prayers are with you."
Aliyaah sat down and put her head in her hands. What good were their thoughts and prayers? No one was coming to help them, and if they were too scared to send reinforcements, they were unlikely to approve the launch of Octavia. Even if they made it back to Earth somehow, they would be greeted by people in hazmat suits, not open arms and happy cheers.
Mission Support hadn't yet responded to their request to launch Octavia, other than to say they were considering all courses of action. Aliyaah knew that negotiations would be taking place between NASA, the ESA, the Planetary Protection Agency, and a host of other international stakeholders.
Feeling the panic begin to set in, Aliyaah gave herself a shake. Hadley put a hand on her shoulder and gestured for her to vacate the seat.
"Did Schiff fill you in?" Aliyaah asked as she stood up.
Hadley nodded and took the seat. "She said she's running further tests."
"Yes, and she wants a lab assistant," Aliyaah said. "I approved the request," she added and watched Hadley's reaction.
"If it helps her get us answers, I'm all for it," he said. "Thank you, Chief."
Aliyaah took her cue to leave and went to find the junior officer as Hadley adjusted the microphone and faced the camera. Hitting record, he said, "Message received and understood, CapCom. We have Octavia up and running. The walkway is in progress and we will begin loading the ship and taking steps towards launch once we have your go ahead. I am sending you the revised trajectory and flight plan I intend to follow. We understand that the timing is less than ideal, with our launch window closing, but if we leave now we still have some protection from GCRs thanks to the residual solar activity over the next few sevensols." Hadley hesitated, then added in a slow, measured voice, "There are no further cases of contagion. Schiff assures me she has control of the situation. I'm officially requesting permission to continue with launch preparations." He hit the send button, deleted the message, and then studied the console, as if seeing it for the first time. He rubbed his eyes and blinked. The console seemed brighter than usual, and he couldn't quite recall what each of the lights meant. Hadley took a deep breath and tried to gather his thoughts. He had just lied to Mission Support, and he wasn't entirely certain why.
Thirty
The Octavia mission had brought enough supplies to the planet to last the crew at least twelve months beyond their intended return date, but the explosions at the station had destroyed food stores, medical supplies, and other necessities. After the storms, Hadley assigned a team to take stock of their remaining supplies. Using that information, Aliyaah calculated that their remaining rations would last them eight months, possibly more now they had fewer mouths to feed. Their journey to Earth would take at least six months, and while the biodomes had extended the rations brought from Earth, the colony was reliant on resupply from the incoming shuttle.
After NASA cancelled the Octavia II mission, Aliyaah knew that they either needed to get off the planet in the next few sevensols or face starvation. The settlement plan relied on each incoming shuttle, whether civilian or cargo, bringing more supplies than it needed, creating a stockpile for current and future settlers through a full twenty-six months, or seven hundred and seventy sols, if they missed their flight window or had other reasons to stay on the planet. The gradual process of terraforming would allow them to build a self-sustaining settlement, but the realisation of that plan was decades away. Octavia was meant to have heralded the beginning of Project Arche, not the end of Mars exploration.
Aliyaah knew that impending food shortages weren't the only concern. The biodomes and the station relied on material mined at the quarry and processed by the refiners. By destroying those machines, the Commander had also destroyed their ability to create new construction materials and to add minerals to the soil they were building up in the biodomes. To survive, they either needed to leave the planet and head back to Earth soon, or dramatically alter the way they interacted with Mars.
While there had been more deaths at the station during the solar storm, no one on Octavia had succumbed to the organism. The shielding from GCRs and solar radiation was more effective on the ship, which gave Aliyaah a sliver of hope. If Silver was right and the GCRs acted as a catalyst for the organism, they might be able to slow down the progression and spread of the infection if they got everyone on board Octavia and off the planet.
Aliyaah knew this might be wishful thinking, and even if the theory proved true, there was always the worry that killing the organism would also mean killing its host. Aliyaah considered this for a moment, in light of Schiff's findings. Perhaps it was only once someone was symptomatic, and had suffered serious damage to their brain tissue, that eradicating the organism would prove fatal for its human host.
One thing was clear to Aliyaah: There were too many unanswered questions to allow her, Hadley, or Mission Support to make informed decisions. Schiff was adamant that she study the bodies of all the deceased more closely, and had also requested that she personally assess every crew member. To do that, they would need to retrieve the bodies from the biodome, along with the data Silver had collected, and perhaps Silver herself. They would first have to repair the SEV, as the residual radiation from the storms made it unsafe to use the zip line system to reach the biodome.
Schiff suggested that she could go and retrieve the samples, but Hadley wouldn't risk sending the only fully qualified physician they had left. Aliyaah also had reservations. Her interaction with the doctor in the hangar had made her wary of breaking protocol to reveal Silver's location. Silver was now third in command, and Aliyaah felt a nagging concern over Schiff's odd demeanour; was her research truly motivated by a desire to help the crew?
Hadley quickly shot down Aliyaah's concerns about protocol. "We've already contravened policy by both being here at the station instead of at separate facilities. I need you here to oversee the walkway construction, and, you're the only one who has seen this thing up close. It might be helpful for you to be here while the doctor carries out the autopsies."
Aliyaah nodded. She didn't relish that task, nor did she want to reveal Silver's location. She considered voicing her concerns about Schiff, but worried that it would make her sound paranoid.
"Where is FE Antara, Chief?" Hadley asked. He waited for Aliyaah to answer, but she stayed silent as she thought through various scenarios. Hadley gave her a few more seconds, then said pointedly, "Chief, there are few places left to hide on Mars. The rest of the crew will figure out Antara's location eventually. Your travel time in the SEV. A slip in comms." He shook his head. "We no longer have the luxury of keeping certain information classified."
Aliyaah reluctantly agreed. "She's out at Biodome Three."
"Thank you, Chief. Now, can you draw up a list of who we have left who can pilot the SEV?"
Aliyaah frowned and said, "Sir, there's just you, me, and Corporal Adams."
Hadley looked dumbfounded and began to check the list of remaining personnel. "That can't be right. Can it? We had ten qualified SEV pilots and now -"
"I know, Sir," Aliyaah interrupted him. "Assuming Antara is alive, we still have four, but the others are either dead or missing."
"Well, I clearly can't send Adams." Hadley shot Aliyaah a look of exasperation, thinking about the potential insurrection the Corporal was creating.
"It might get him out of the way, Sir. Prevent him from stirring up more trouble."
"No. Adams can't be trusted. There's only one option. I'll go," Hadley said, frowning.
Aliyaah was about to disagree, but realised it was futile. She nodded, then retrieved some sample containers for radioactive material. "You'll need these, for tissue samples. And you might want to take a hatchet, or something similar."
Hadley grimaced and said, "Where are the bo
dies, Chief?"
Aliyaah told him where to find Alvarez and Dominic, then added, "Antara probably set up camp in the inner dome, where there's food and water. That's what I would do." She hesitated, considering the situation, then added, "But, if there are any issues with comms in the dome, she might not know the storm is over. She could still be in the shelter." Aliyaah's voice hardened and she said, "That's assuming she was still alive and thinking clearly when the alarm sounded. It's been three sols with no response from the biodome, Sir. We should consider that Antara has succumbed to the organism."
Hadley nodded, hearing the edge in her voice. "Antara is one of the smartest, most resourceful officers I've known, Chief. If anyone can survive this, she can."
Aliyaah swallowed hard before saying, "Yes, Sir. And, be careful. If Antara is still alive, she might be infected like the others." It felt like a betrayal as Aliyaah reluctantly added, "Antara is strong and could take you by surprise. She'll know the biodome much better than you by now, and she knows how to drive the SEV. If this thing is affecting her behaviour, she could leave you stranded, or worse."
Taking the sample containers from Aliyaah, Hadley thanked her for the warning. "I'll be back, Chief. You worry about the walkway, and I'll worry about Antara."
THIRTY-ONE
Aliyaah, with the help of two other engineers, lifted a section of the walkway onto the scaffold and felt it click into place. Turning to pick up the next piece, Aliyaah took a moment to catch her breath. The dull ache in her ribs had subsided. All she felt now was general fatigue as the last few days caught up with her.
Aliyaah looked out across the dusty, rust-red planet in the direction of the biodome and thought about Silver. With no contact from the FE, Aliyaah was losing hope that Hadley would find her friend alive. The last few sols had brought home to Aliyaah how removed she was from most of her female colleagues, and how much of herself she had hidden from her crew. Silver was the exception, given how long they had known each other, but even their friendship hadn't been close.
Aliyaah was one of just five female engineers on Octavia, including Silver and Jaz, and there were only around a dozen women in the entire first wave of Project Arche, including Doctor Schiff. Aliyaah had known better than to assume that she would find common ground with the other women on Octavia. Still, she was surprised that, despite having spent hours working together, she barely knew anything about the women's personal lives. She knew their qualifications and experience, of course, as she was responsible for organising work crews and schedules.
Come to think of it, Aliyaah wasn't even sure if Jaz had identified as a woman. They had only ever talked about work-related things. What she did know was that Jaz had a background in biochemistry, was an expert on Lidar, and would have been damn useful right about now. Aliyaah felt guilty for thinking in such a utilitarian way, but their time on Octavia and on Mars was mostly filled with tasks specific to their skillsets. Aliyaah provided oversight but otherwise trusted her officers to do their work, whatever their personal circumstances. It didn't matter if you didn't particularly like all your crewmates, you still had to trust them.
Aliyaah's thoughts turned back to Silver. Aside from Dominic, Silver was the only other person on the planet who she actually considered a friend. Still, Aliyaah could probably count on one hand the number of times Silver had mentioned her life back on Earth, and her family.
The male engineers had always been more open than their female colleagues when talking about their lives back home. Aliyaah wondered if it was because the men felt they had less to lose, and maybe even something to gain, if they showed a side of themselves that wasn't purely logical, hard-nosed, and professional. A woman who talked about her kids or her partner ran the risk of being seen as overly emotional and perhaps unreliable as a result.
While they were cooped up in the ship with little to do, many of the men talked about their wives and girlfriends. None of them mentioned a male or genderqueer partner, which didn't surprise Aliyaah. Anyone who did so would likely fall prey to the same biases affecting women in the military. Some of the men passed around pictures of their kids and shared cute stories, but the atmosphere was bittersweet. Thoughts of family so far away were inherently tainted with the idea that they might not make it home, and speculation over what might happen even if they did.
Aliyaah had stayed quiet while the men talked about their lives. If she had been reluctant to mention Dominic before, there seemed no reason to reveal their relationship now. As far as she knew, Dominic had never discussed their closeness with anyone else on the crew, nor with his family back home. Silver was the only other person who knew, and she might also now be dead. Aliyaah felt a sudden urge to publicly acknowledge that she and Dominic had been more than just colleagues. It seemed so unfair that she had no allowance to grieve. Under ordinary circumstances she would have informed NASA. There would have been a report, a thorough debriefing, and mandatory counselling, but these were not ordinary circumstances, and Aliyaah had to postpone her grief. There was no time for her to fall apart and stitch herself back together, even if her stoicism felt like a betrayal to Dominic's memory.
Knowing that she was thinking about Dominic's death at a necessary remove, Aliyaah thought back to Silver's loss of composure in the biodome. She knew that Silver was married, and Aliyaah had even seen Cooper a few times at NASA functions, although it was hard to say whether Cooper was there as a plus-one or in her own right. Aliyaah had actually met Cooper before Silver, when they worked together on a project some years before Silver joined the agency. As Aliyaah remembered, Cooper had brought a refreshing, quiet humour to what was a rather mundane project. She was very good at what she did, and Aliyaah considered how she would have been an asset to Project Arche, especially given that they had now lost Jaz, their only real Lidar specialist. NASA didn't usually approve the assignment of couples to the same mission, for obvious reasons, but Cooper was eminently qualified and if she had wanted to be on the crew Aliyaah didn't see any real obstacle. It was a long time to be separated, and Aliyaah wondered why she had chosen to stay behind.
As she helped position the next piece of the walkway, Aliyaah suddenly remembered that Cooper and Silver had a child, a girl. The thought caused her to lose her grip on the smooth metal plate in her hands and she was fortunate that it was already in place and dropped down to catch on the adjacent section. She glanced at the men beside her, who didn't seem to have noticed her slip. For the briefest of moments, before her thoughts turned back to Silver's family, Aliyaah wondered what thoughts were racing through the minds of the men working by her side. They must surely be battling their own demons. Had it helped to pass around those photos and to say the names of their partners and children?
Aliyaah couldn't remember Silver ever talking about her child. She knew the girl's name was listed in Silver's personnel file, but she couldn't recall the details now. That must be why Cooper had stayed on Earth. Space was no place for a child. Aliyaah felt mad at herself for playing into the double standard, but she couldn't stop herself from judging Silver for leaving her little girl for such a long, and potentially dangerous, mission. Aliyaah wanted to believe that she would make a different choice to Silver, that she would stay on Earth like Cooper, but she didn't have children of her own, and didn't plan to, so she would likely never know how she would feel in a similar situation.
For Aliyaah, the decision to come to Mars was simple. She was leaving behind friends and family, but she had no partner, no children to whom she felt obligated or who she'd miss while she was away. Aliyaah couldn't imagine how Silver endured being away from her wife and kid. Perhaps that was why she never mentioned them. If she didn't admit their importance to anyone else then maybe it made it easier to survive the distance and time.
When Aliyaah had lost her husband, Ben, it had been both tragic and newsworthy. She hadn't been able to escape the attention, and had been forced to grieve quickly and publicly. At times, she had felt as if she were performing the part
of a widow of terrorism rather than actually feeling what she professed to be feeling. Perhaps this was why it had taken her years to let anyone else in after Ben's death.
Now, Aliyaah considered how Cooper would feel if Silver didn't return to her. She would also be a widow, and she, too, would have to grieve in public. What was worse, she would be expected to have accepted that by marrying an astronaut she had signed up for this possibility. It seemed desperately unfair to Aliyaah, but she could see now that she had once asked Ben to accept the very same thing.
Aliyaah thought back to the conversation with Silver in the biodome and regretted not having done more. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she had helped to steady Silver, and she wondered about the news Silver had received from home. She should have been a better friend, and now she might never get the chance.
Friendships between astronauts had always seemed fraught to Aliyaah, especially between minorities. Everyone was so motivated, and resources and assignments were finite. The agencies didn't want to admit it, but the odds were against you if you weren't straight, white, and male. Tokenism was alive and well, despite extensive diversity directives.
Aliyaah considered her marriage to Ben, remembering how happy they had been, both in their demanding careers and in their life together. They had rarely quarrelled, and had been loving and happy even when Aliyaah was away for months on missions. Aliyaah hadn't expected, or desired, to get romantically involved with anyone after Ben had died, but then she had met Dominic and long forgotten pieces of her began to re-emerge. Dom had given her a chance to feel playful again, to feel sexual and engaged. Being with him had allowed her to open up a little, not that she had let that show to her crew.
Aliyaah had worked harder than ever after Ben's death, becoming the youngest Chief Flight Engineer in the history of the space programme. It had been clear from the start that she would be selected for Project Arche and for Octavia. She was the most qualified astronaut to lead the engineering team, and she had been heavily involved in selecting her crew for the mission to Mars.
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