“That’s not selfish, honey,” Wendy said, then allowed, “Well, a little. But it’s understandable.”
Understandable because of the way she was raised. Faith scowled as she folded back the box’s flaps. There were no secrets in a town like New Hope, other than the one she, Wendy and Nick shared, and it was anyone’s guess how long that would stay private. She didn’t intend to tell, and she knew she could trust Wendy not to. Nick was the wild card. With his good-Italian-son, good-Catholic upbringing, guilt or some ridiculous sense of duty might prompt him to confess all. If his role in her pregnancy became common knowledge, those three batty old ladies out there in the shop would teach her a new meaning for the word gossip. Prim, proper, virginal Faith Harper pregnant? Shocking. Prim, proper, virginal Faith pregnant by that oldest Russo boy? Scandalous. Why, she didn’t even know him. Seducing strangers...and after all Miss Lydia did for her. She’s turned into a harlot like her mother, after all.
Realizing that she was staring dumbly at the box she’d opened, Faith forced her attention to its contents—booties, sneakers, sandals and walkers. She loved all baby things, but shoes in particular fascinated her. They were so small, perfect tiny replicas of their adult-size counterparts. She withdrew a pair of white satin booties from their clear plastic box and balanced them in the palm of her hand. They were soft, only a few inches long, designed to slide easily onto a wiggly baby’s little feet. They would be perfect for Amelia Rose’s first portrait, to go with the green velvet dress with the white lace collar and the satin sash.
Her first portrait. It was an event Faith anticipated and, at the same time, found sad. She would dress her daughter in a lovely dress, lace socks and these booties, and Amelia Rose would smile for the photographer, and when the portraits were ready, Faith would buy one. One. She would have no need of the package deals that everyone else chose, because she would have no relatives to share the occasion with.
Returning the shoes to their box, she set them aside on the shelf next to her purse, then looked up to find Wendy watching her with a smile that eased her blues—a little teasing, a little wistful and a lot tender. “You know, this baby is going to be the best-dressed kid in all of Texas. You’ve already selected an entire wardrobe for her, and you’ve got all the toys, stuffed animals and books a child could possibly need. Can’t you leave something for us to buy when we have her shower?”
“I don’t need a shower,” Faith replied. She intended to provide for her daughter herself.
“It’s not for you. It’s for the baby, and she’s getting it whether you want it or not.” Wendy reached up to pluck down the box. “Thank you for the gift idea. I’ll get Beth to help me find something else.” Raising a hand to her recently-turned-blond hair, she smiled smugly. “After all, she’s helped me with so much already.”
Beth had been a lot of help to Wendy, Faith knew, and the transformation had been nothing less than miraculous. With her thirtieth birthday approaching and her maternal instincts growing stronger, Wendy had decided that it was time to find a husband and have a baby. With guidance from Beth and Sue Ellen over at the diner, she had gone from drab to knock-out.
But with all the outside changes, inside she was still the same Wendy Wilcox, still and always one of Faith’s best friends.
With a sigh, Wendy rose from the stool where she’d perched. “I’d better get back to work. Need some help carrying these things out?”
“If you’d grab an armload of blankets —” Faith picked up the large box of shoes, but Wendy immediately relieved her of it.
“You get the blankets, honey. I’ll take this.”
Faith opened the door, then scooped up as many blankets as Amelia Rose would allow. Steeling herself for an encounter with the three old ladies, she followed Wendy out of the storeroom. “Good afternoon, Miss Agnes, Miss Ethel, Miss Minny,” she greeted politely.
Each of the women subjected her to a measuring look. “Still working, I see,” Miss Agnes remarked disapprovingly. “You should stay off your feet.”
“Take better care of yourself,” Miss Ethel added.
“Be kinder to that baby,” Miss Minny admonished.
Faith drew a patience-supplying breath. “Dr. Austin says it’s perfectly all right for me to continue working.”
“Dr. Austin.” Miss Ethel tsked. “What kind of doctor wears long hair like that and rushes all over town on a motorcycle like he does? Why, in my day, women didn’t need doctors to help them birth their babies. Today they want fancy hospitals and fancy doctors and as little inconvenience as possible.”
“I gave birth to four children in my own bed with no one but my sister there to help,” Miss Minny put in. “Women today are spoiled.”
Miss Agnes agreed. “Spoiled. They think they should do whatever they want and no one should blink an eye.”
“Like having a baby without a husband?” Faith’s smile was thin and cool, prompting Wendy to step in.
“Excuse us, Miss Agnes. We’ll let you ladies get back to shopping while we tend to our own business.” Wendy put a definite emphasis on the last three words, causing the women to turn away in a concerted huff. She maneuvered Faith in the direction of the blanket display near the front of the shop. There she set the box down and offered encouragement in a low voice. “Don’t let them get to you, Faith. They’re just nosy old women.”
“I know. It’s just that sometimes I get so tired of their looks, their comments and their finger-pointing that I get this incredible urge to really. shock them.”
“Let me know if you decide to give in to it. I’d like a front-row seat.” Wendy glanced at her watch, then headed for the door. “I’m going to be late. See you tomorrow?” At Faith’s blank look, she explained, “The wedding?”
The wedding. Other than her occasional mentions of it to Nick, she had managed to more or less forget Saturday’s nuptials. As happy as she was for Michael and Michelle, she wasn’t anxious to attend their wedding. She wasn’t sure she could bear seeing the incredibly happy and deeply in love couple when her own situation was so far from ideal. She didn’t want to witness their marriage when she was alone, as she’d been all her life, and often lonely. She didn’t want to tarnish their joy by wondering greedily why she couldn’t have it, too.
She didn’t want to see Nick, and especially not at a wedding.
“Oh, honey, you are going to come, aren’t you?” Wendy asked worriedly.
“Yeah, I’ll be there.”
“Travis and I can pick you up if you’d like. It’s right on our way.”
Faith forced a smile. “I can still fit behind the steering wheel of my car. I’ll get myself to the church on time.”
“If you change your mind, give me a call. Gotta go now.”
The bell rang, then quieted as the door closed behind Wendy. Faith stood motionless, still clutching half a dozen blankets, and watched until her friend was out of sight. Only then, as she prepared to get back to work, did she see Nick standing on the sidewalk in front of the office supplies store next door, talking to friends.
It wasn’t pleasure that made her palms grow damp and her heart pick up its tempo, she insisted, but nerves and an awful feeling of dread. Please don’t come in, she silently prayed, not with the biggest mouths in Texas still searching for just the right purchase.
In spite of her brain’s commands, she couldn’t turn away, couldn’t pull her gaze away. She stood there, feeling relatively safe inside her shop, and simply looked at him. He was dressed in boots, jeans and a dark blue shirt with the sleeves pushed up his forearms. He was so handsome, so appealing, and he had a smile that could sweep a woman right off her feet. He had smiled at her that night in February, and she had felt like the most important woman in his world.
How foolish she had been.
His attention wandered her way, his gaze making contact before she had a chance to turn away or pretend that she didn’t see him. His good mood seemed to darken a bit, and his only acknowledgment of her was a nod of his
head so slight that no one else would have noticed. Then he pointedly shifted so that his back was to her before continuing the conversation with his friends.
That was what she wanted, she reminded herself as she dumped the load of blankets on the table, then began arranging them by color. She wanted him to ignore her, wanted not to exist in his life. She wanted it for herself and especially for Amelia Rose. He was only giving her what she had asked for, what she had demanded.
Why, then, did she suddenly feel so betrayed?
“Why don’t we go out tonight and have a few drinks? It’ll be just like old times.”
Nick turned his head just enough to see the corner of the nearest window at the Baby Boutique before refusing Dan Wilson’s invitation. “I can’t. I’m under. strict orders from Michael not to do any drinking until after the wedding. Besides, we’ve got the rehearsal and the dinner tonight.”
“You remember that the rehearsal is traditionally the night before the wedding, don’t you, Danny?” Tammy’s catty tone made Nick’s nerves tauten. “Of course you don’t, because when we got married, you insisted on skipping the rehearsal and went out drinking with the boys instead.”
“One mistake. I made one mistake sixteen years ago, and she’s never gonna let me forget it,” he muttered.
Which mistake was he referring to? Nick wondered. Getting drunk the night before the wedding? Or the pregnancy that led to the wedding?
“One mistake?” Tammy echoed. “Darlin’, I can’t even remember the last time you did something right”
Nick shifted uncomfortably. He’d had his doubts about the success of his friend’s marriage from the start. Dan had been forced to give up his dream of college and Tammy had been faced with the reality that there was nothing romantic about being barely eighteen, married, living with your in-laws, and having a baby. Hard luck had turned disappointment to anger, frustration to resentment, and the easiest target for venting those bitter emotions was apparently—naturally—each other.
Was that what the future held for him and Faith? Would he blame her for taking his freedom? Would she be bitter over the circumstances that had brought them together, resentful of the obligations that kept them together? Would they become like Dan and Tammy, sniping at each other on a downtown sidewalk in front of an old friend, so miserable that they didn’t care who knew it?
That wasn’t a future he could face. It sure as hell wasn’t one he could willingly accept.
“It’s been good seeing you, Nick, but we’d better get going.” Tammy’s smile was so strained that it looked as if it surely must hurt. “We don’t want to keep Dr. Austin waiting.”
Austin. Nick had never heard the name before Wednesday afternoon, but he remembered it. He was Faith’s doctor—her obstetrician. Maybe Tammy was just having a checkup. But one look at his friend’s face confirmed Nick’s suspicions.
“Yeah,” Dan said glumly after she headed for their truck with long strides. “She’s pregnant again.”
“You know,” Nick said, his voice soft and carefully blank, “there are ways to prevent that.” And who the hell was he to point that out, when his own mistake was only a few dozen feet away?
“Yeah, but the only one that’s a hundred percent foolproof with Tammy is abstinence, and I’m not that strong” His smile was halfhearted. “You’re a lucky man, Nick. You got out of this place. You got an education, a good job, no strings to tie you down. I wound up with a ranch I don’t want, a wife who blames me for every disappointment in her life, four whiny kids and another one on the way. There are times I just want to walk away.” He heaved a sigh, then stuck his hand out. “See you, buddy.”
As he watched Dan leave, Nick wondered why his friend didn’t just walk away. He could get a divorce, get Tammy out of his life, still be a father to the kids and maybe do something for himself. Why stay with a wife he didn’t even like, much less love, in a town he hated, on a ranch whose dust he’d been dying to shake from his boots since he was twelve years old? He had accepted his responsibilities. He had married Tammy all those years ago, had given their baby the respectability of a name. His duties now were to the kids, not her, and fulfilling those duties had nothing to do with being married. Why not put an end to his misery now before it got any worse?
Dan gave one last wave as he drove by. Nick returned it, then turned toward Antonio’s. He’d met his brother for lunch—sandwiches from the deli in Michael’s office—and now he was on his way to the restaurant. He had almost talked himself out of going — the temptation to confide in his father, the way he always had when he was troubled, would likely be strong—but he had little enough time to spend with Antonio, especially without the rest of the family vying for his attention. Nick would just have to watch what he said and resist those old urges.
His steps slowed as he came even with the display window for Faith’s shop. There were a number of customers inside, mostly browsing, one being helped by a blond-haired teenager. Faith was in the same place where he’d first seen her, fussing over a display, making adjustments here and there and keeping her eyes down.
He hadn’t missed the finality of her farewell last night. Goodbye, said the way she’d said it, most definitely meant goodbye. She didn’t want to see him again, didn’t want to talk to him again. She expected him to spend the rest of the weekend here, to go to Michael’s wedding and not speak to her. She expected him to go home Sunday, just as he’d planned, without trying once more to resolve this problem between them. And she expected him to let Amelia Rose’s due date pass without a call, without even a little curiosity about whether he was yet a father.
She didn’t think much of him, and it pained him that she was entitled to her low opinion.
He didn’t mean to stop in the store, but before he realized it, the bell was ringing overhead and three of the customers, elderly women examining a selection of storybooks, turned as one to look at him.
Faith didn’t look up, but she knew it was him. Scowling deeply, she moved around the display of blankets so that her back was to everyone else, and when he stopped across from her, she whispered a heated demand. “Go away.”
“Having a busy day?”
“Yes, too busy to bother with you.”
She’d taken one of the blankets out of its protective packaging and fixed it so that the folds draped from the top shelf. He ran his palm over it. It was softer than anything he’d ever imagined, warm and enveloping. It could chase away the coldest of chills and make a baby feel snug and safe. He wondered if Faith had already collected one for Amelia Rose and figured she had. All those boxes and bags that he’d carried upstairs for her yesterday had been filled with clothing and blankets. Amelia Rose probably had everything she could possibly need. There wasn’t anything that Nick could give her...except his name, and Faith was convinced she had no need of that.
“Would you please leave?” she asked. “I don’t want my customers to wonder.”
“You mean the old women. Are they still the biggest gossips in town?”
“Yes, and I don’t want to give them anything new to talk about.” Finally she looked at him. Her eyes were unusually bright, and there was a look in them that he couldn’t begin to describe. Sadness, pain, disillusionment, weariness—it was a little of bit of everything and it touched him, making him feel somehow as fragile as she looked.
“What’s wrong?” he demanded, his voice low so no one else could hear.
“Nothing.”
But she glanced over her shoulder as she replied, and he followed her gaze to the three old women who were watching them. Agnes, Ethel and Minny had always loved to gossip and he had always thought they were harmless—but that was before their gossip concerned him. What right did they have to spread talk about Faith and her baby?
And what right did he have getting angry with the old women when he was as much responsible for the gossip about Faith as they were? “Did they say something?”
“No. But please go before they get suspicious. Please...�
� Turning abruptly, she saw the women heading their way. “Excuse me,” she blurted before making a beeline for the storeroom in back.
“Why, if it isn’t Nick Russo,” Agnes said. “Your mama told us you would be home for the wedding.”
Nick gave the three women a cool smile. Years ago they had been easy to tell apart. One had been handsome, as his father put it. One had been a redhead, one a blonde, one a brunette. One had been plump, one thin and one in-between. Now age and too much of each other’s company had created a resemblance where before there had been none. The three had come to look, dress, act, think and speak as one.
“We didn’t know you and Faith were friends,” Agnes continued. “She’s much closer to your brother’s age than yours.”
“We didn’t know you two even knew each other,” Ethel added. “What with her being so young when you moved away and you hardly ever coming back for visits.”
“Of course I know Faith. The whole family does,” he said, and hoped he was right about that. “We were just discussing Michael’s wedding tomorrow.”
“Oh, dear, the wedding.” Minny sorrowfully shook her head. “It won’t be easy for poor Faith, having to sit through the festivities.”
“What won’t be easy about it?” he asked, his gaze narrowing as he looked at each woman.
“Why, her condition, of course,” Ethel replied.
Next to her, Agnes leaned forward conspiratorially. “Being pregnant and alone. The father ran out on her, you know. At least, that’s the story. It’s possible—” she looked from one woman to the other, then lowered her voice “—she might not even know who he is.”
Ethel took over then, sidling around the table closer to him. “We didn’t want to believe it at first, what with her seeming so sweet and shy. We thought that surely he must have abandoned her, the same way her own father abandoned her poor mother. You’ve heard the story, of course.”
“Of course,” he said dryly.
“She’s so ashamed that she won’t even tell anyone who he is —”
“If she knows,” Agnes interrupted.
Discovered: Daddy Page 10