We’re fucking engaged for God’s sake! He knows there’s nothing going on with Adam, so what the hell is his problem?
Wonderful!
Now I’ve managed to make myself even more than just angry, I’m livid. I’m not sure which feeling is worse, wanting to dive into bed and cry for three days Sydney-style, or wanting to scream and throw things and have a giant Drew-like tantrum.
I stomp around my bedroom and glance at the bedside table, three fucking am! How dare he make me worry like this! I have no idea what to do, cry or throw? Looking down at the wine glass in my hand I decide to try something new since crying never makes me feel any better. Using all of my strength, I hurl the glass down the hall and it explodes against the wall next to the front door, just as a startled Drew comes through it.
“Fuck!” he yells, slamming the door behind him.
Interesting, I do feel better.
“What the fuckin’ shit, Syd?” He takes a few hesitant steps through the door.
“I didn’t expect you to come in at that exact moment, obviously.” I cross my arms over my chest and stare holes into his stupid head.
“Shit!” he blurts out as he trips on the wool rug in the living area and staggers towards me.
Holy crap, he’s completely shitfaced!
I have a quick internal battle, do I help him or am I still pissed off? Drew gets closer and stops a few inches from me, looking down at me through heavy-lidded eyes as he slowly sways from side to side. He reeks of liquor.
“Why don’t you love me ‘nough Syd? Do you want that asswipe Reynolds?” he slurs.
What?
He’s insecure about us. A few Goddamn pictures and he doubts everything we’ve been through?
“I do love you Drew, and no, I don’t want Adam.” I take his hands and lead him toward the bedroom.
“Nah, you don’t want anyone to know that we’re gettin’ married.” His words rush out in a jumbled mess.
“Drew, we’ve told everyone important to us, I thought we didn’t want the press bothering us about it?” Why am I even having this conversation with him when there’s a very good chance that he won’t remember it tomorrow?
I push him back on the bed and he flops down, sprawling on top of the covers fully clothed. Taking off his socks and shoes I notice that his suit coat is missing. I hope his wallet wasn’t in there.
Leaning in to check his pockets, he grabs my left hand and pulls it to his lips. “You don’t wanna show this to anyone.” He presses a kiss to my third finger right next to my giant diamond ring.
“Let’s talk tomorrow babe.” I pull his feet up onto the bed and turn off the light.
I curl up next to him but stay on my side of the bed, completely confused by this entire situation. As usual, I have no idea what to do next. I watch Drew’s slack face as he sleeps, his breathing heavy enough to let me know he’s out for the count. Using my fingers I comb through his thick, dark hair studying his handsome face.
How is it possible for someone so self-confident, so capable, and so masculine to have such massive doubts about my feelings for him?
Probably because you’ve run away from him twice already and continuously challenge his trust.
I have to convince him that I’m with him for good. I would think that being engaged would prove my dedication, but it’s clear that he needs more.
I close my eyes and try to rest when I hear him murmur in his sleep. “Don’t leave Syd, please.”
Today tops the list of strangest days ever. I have an international rock star that can have any woman he wants turning up in my life everywhere I go, a big shot Hollywood father that wants me to go to his huge movie premiere so I can be assaulted by the relentless media, and the highest paid actor in the world lying drunk on my bed begging me not to leave him.
What the hell do I do next?
CHAPTER 5
“Thanks for bringing this by,” I say to Leah as I take the bag of croissants and two huge coffees from her. She follows me into the kitchen and watches me as I remove the top from one of the cups and take a huge sip.
“You look like shit. Want to tell me what happened?” She arches one eyebrow and stares at me impatiently.
I exhale, feeling mentally battered and bruised. “I’m assuming you saw the photos?”
“Yes, I did. Personally, I know nothing happened. I’m asking about you and Drew.”
I collapse into one of the chairs at my kitchen table and set my cup in front of me, tracing the paper rim with my finger. “He’s still sleeping. I left the party after he found out about Adam. He stayed and had a lot to drink.” I take another sip to avoid her penetrating stare.
“Drew came here drunk?” Her voice is laced with disbelief. “Drew. Your Drew got drunk in a very public place and came back here?”
“Yes. What I really want to do right now is put on my gear and go for a long run, but I can’t have him wake up and find me gone.” I hesitate, trying to figure out how to explain his actions without betraying our intimate moments. “He said something last night, something he wouldn’t have said if he didn’t have the alcohol in him.”
Leah sits next to me and leans closer, sensing my reluctance to continue. “You don’t have to tell me Syd. I’m here to help whether it’s just to listen, to give advice, or to sit here and say nothing.” She gives my hand a quick squeeze and releases it.
I wipe a stray tear from my eye. “He’s upset that I won’t announce the engagement, that I won’t parade my ring around for the media circus.” I stare at my coffee, then up at Leah. “He thinks I don’t want to marry him, Leah.”
Her eyes widen a fraction and her pouty mouth turns down at the corners. “He must know that’s not true.”
“I don’t think he does.”
“If you do that, it will be…” She struggles for words. “The parasites will descend on you like locusts!” She gets upset and her voice begins to rise, her blonde hair swishing around her face as she speaks. “He can’t possibly want that kind of attention around you after everything that’s happened!”
“Leah, please,” I beg, motioning for her to keep quiet.
“I’m sorry Syd, that’s a shitty idea. And for him to try to guilt you into that, it’s crap and you know it. The tabloids say a lot of stuff that’s not true, about both of you. He needs to get a grip on reality and not let other people’s twisted views dictate what you do in your private life.” Leah rants, her hands gesturing wildly as she fights to keep her voice down.
“Shhhh.” I narrow my eyes at Leah. “He’s going to hear you, and he’s going to be hung over. Trust me, it’s not going to be pretty. You said you would be here for me and you’re getting all judgy.”
“I can’t help it Syd! This is bullshit. I can’t listen to this, it’s insanity.” Leah stands up and starts to walk down the hall toward the front door.
“Leah,” I call out to her, too tired to get up and chase her.
She whirls around and storms back to the table, getting in my face. “If it were anyone but Adam, would he be acting like this?”
“I… I don’t know,” I answer, surprised by her question. “He hates him, Leah. There’s history there that we don’t know about. I hurt him yesterday.”
Leah’s angry expression melts away and she calms down some. “Syd, whatever idiotic crap those two have going on, it’s no reason to change the fact that you don’t need to tell the media anything. If he wants Adam to back off, then just tell Adam you’re engaged. He won’t say anything to the press. Or Drew could grow up and stop the petty jealousy. It’s his choice.” She walks back toward the door. “Call me after you talk to him.”
I hear the door close behind her and bury my head in my hands.
I really need a run.
I toss the empty cup of coffee and quietly head into the bedroom. Drew is in the exact position I left him in last night, rumpled clothes and all. I slip into the closet and put on my running shorts and tank and tie up my shoes.
Sn
eaking past Drew’s sleeping form I duck into my office and scribble out a quick note, letting him know that I’m running and will be back soon. I head back to the bedroom and place the note on the bedside table just as Drew wakes up.
“Hey,” I say lamely, not knowing what else to do.
Drew squeezes his eyes shut and makes a face.
Good. I hope he’s really hung over.
“I was going to go for a run, unless…unless you’d rather I didn’t.” If it’s just going to piss him off, I’d rather stay here and talk about all this shit now.
“Go ahead, but take one of the guys with you,” he says without looking at me. “I have a meeting in a few hours anyway. I’ll just go home and get some work done.” He starts to get up and winces, clearly feeling the effects of his overindulgence.
Anger courses through my veins. He doesn’t even want to talk about it? He’s trying to avoid me. My anger is quickly replaced by fear. Fear that he’s so upset that he doesn’t want me anymore.
“No. We’re going to discuss this.” I sit on the bed next to him and cross my arms.
“I’m not in the mood Sydney,” Drew answers, clutching his temples as he sits up.
“I’ll get you some water.” I get up and fetch him a bottle of water and two ibuprofen. I head back to the bedroom, deciding to bring his cup of coffee to him as well. “Here.” I hand him the pills and the water.
I watch Drew throw the tablets into his mouth and drink half of the bottle of water. He stops, then drinks the rest, placing the empty container on the nightstand.
“Village Coffee Bar?” he asks as he picks up the cup of coffee and takes a sip.
“Leah was here.” He presses his lips together as if this news is disturbing to him in some way. “I didn’t want to leave you alone to get coffee so I asked her to bring some over.” I stare at him expectantly. There’s no way we’re not doing this.
“I’m really not in the mood for this right now,” Drew says again, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Well too bad. I wasn’t in the mood for you to be an unbelievable ass last night, or for you to come in here drunk, but I had no choice. We’re not avoiding this conversation.”
Drew squeezes his eyes shut. “Fuck. Let me shower first.” He stands up and exhales, resigned to his fate.
Twenty minutes later, Drew seems a little more human. A hot shower and a cup of coffee have done wonders for his crappy attitude. The pain medicine probably didn’t hurt either. We sit next to each other on the couch, neither one of us knowing what to say.
I guess I’ll start. “Drew, you must know that I’m not interested in Adam. I was going to tell you about bumping into him at the café but never got a chance.”
He still just sits there watching me, offering no insight as to what he’s thinking, his neutral mask in place.
“I ditched him at the coffee shop but he chased me onto the street.” That gets a reaction out of Drew, and not a good one. He looks murderous. “I told him to leave me alone, that I didn’t want to be photographed with him. He followed me home insisting that we talk.”
“He did what?” His voice is low and scary.
Ignoring him I continue. “When we got to the front of the building, I told him to leave. That his stupid ex-girlfriend tried to destroy our relationship and I didn’t want him fucking it up again.”
Drew stills, his hard eyes softening some.
“He was yelling on the street Drew. How Kiera ruined his relationship, that she dumped him for you. I felt it was better to take it up here where he could unload his feelings without people watching us.” I reach out and put my hand on his knee. “I love you, Drew. I told him that flat out. He just wanted someone to talk to about all the shit that went down with Kiera. Don’t forget, he was a victim of the manipulation just like we were.”
“Did you tell him that we’re getting married?” His hand finds mine and touches my ring.
“No. It’s none of his concern,” I say firmly. He flinches from my words. I look directly into his eyes. “But I will if you want me to.”
Drew’s face registers surprise, and his hand clenches around mine. “Sydney, I don’t want you near him,” he says darkly. “I don’t trust him at all. He wants you. Just like Kiera, he’s trying to break us up. I can’t believe that fucker followed you home.”
A laugh bubbles up from my throat. “Drew, he doesn’t want me. He had plenty of time and opportunity to ask me out before I ever met you and never did. He’s a friend, or he was a friend. I have to tell you I’m not feeling very friendly to him right now after subjecting me to all of this media speculation.”
“Sydney, opportunity or not, he wants in your pants. He probably only started actively pursuing you after he found out you were with me.” Drew is dead serious as he says this. “I don’t want you alone with him, ever.”
“What the hell is it with you two anyway!” I yell. “I’m sick of being in the middle of whatever testosterone-fueled pissing match you have going on! Stop! Just stop it! I’m marrying you, you win okay? Adam loses and you win, so cut it out!”
I see the corner of Drew’s mouth quirk up and it makes me smile. Despite the tense conversation, we’re both laughing.
“Testosterone-fueled pissing match, Syd? Where do you come up with this shit?” He shakes his head.
“I don’t know, I guess I’m just that charming.” I get up and sit on his lap, facing him. “You know I only want you, right? There is no one else. There will never be anyone else.” I lean in hesitantly and press my lips to his.
Drew wavers for a moment, then wraps his arms around me and slants his mouth against mine, his decision to forgive me made. I melt into his chest and let him in, opening my mouth to allow his tongue to explore every bit of me.
I shift on his lap and he moans. “Syd, I have to be somewhere soon. Don’t tempt me.”
“I know,” I say as I shift again, dragging another guttural groan from him. “I’m just paying you back for ditching me at that party last night without listening to my explanation.” I writhe once more on top of his growing erection, then stand up.
“Shit, you’re not nice,” he complains, dragging a hand through his thick hair and adjusting the front of his jeans.
“Well, you weren’t either. Are we good?”
He takes my hands and pulls me back down onto his lap, “Yeah, we’re good.” Drew kisses me tenderly one last time.
“Do you really want to tell the media about us? I will if you want to, but I don’t think it’s a good idea, at all.”
He sighs and runs a finger down my cheek. “No, I don’t know why I said that.” I can tell he’s lying but I let it go for now. I don’t want to have that conversation right now. Or ever.
“Should we have Rhys release a statement about the pictures?”
“No. Let’s continue not giving a fuck what anyone thinks. It’s easier that way,” He gives me a smile that doesn’t quite seem genuine.
“I agree.”
Even though we agree to keep our engagement a secret, I still think he’d be happier if the world knew, or rather, if Adam Reynolds knew.
CHAPTER 6
I hop out of the cab on West 37th Street in front of the building that houses Allen Deconstruction. I haven’t been here in a while and not at all since everyone here found out about my famous parents and my relationship with ‘Andrew Forrester, movie star’.
I’m not looking forward to it, but I have to see the fabric samples in person and there’s too many to have messengered to my loft. Plus, several sample furniture pieces have been shipped for me to see and I can’t exactly have couches brought to me for approval.
I hear the cab door behind me slam shut and cringe. Evan is joining me on this little adventure today, which promises to make it even more embarrassing than it would have been if it were just me traipsing through the office.
Drew had Bruce drive him to his early meeting in Brooklyn this morning, not realizing that I was planning on coming to the
office today. He only accepted the fact that I was safe taking a taxi after I promised to bring one of the guys with me. That was one conversation I was glad to have on the phone with him and not in person, that way he couldn’t see all of the eye rolling that was going on while he ranted about needing Bruce to drive me everywhere.
We enter the cool office building, a welcome change to the oppressive August heat and head for the elevators. When we exit on the 5th floor, I greet Kimberly with a hug. She’s been the receptionist here for as long as I can remember and is one of the few people that knew who I was these last few years.
“Bethany is waiting for you in the back storeroom. The new shipments are back there,” she says with a big smile.
“Thanks Kimberly. How’s your mom been?” Her mom has been pretty sick the last couple of years, in and out of the hospital with emphysema. Knowing the tough times she’s been through makes my problems with the paparazzi seem so trivial.
“She’s doing really well right now. My brother has been helping by hiring a housekeeper for her so she’s in heaven.”
I smile at her mom’s idea of heaven. “I’m glad she’s home.”
“Thanks Sydney.” I see her eyes flick over my shoulder and her grin fades.
Evan.
“Sorry. Kimberly, this is Evan. He’s my uh, protection,” I say in an irritated voice. I look back and see that Evan is standing there with his giant, tattooed arms crossed and his usual menacing look on his face.
“Hi,” she whispers meekly.
I shake my head and walk through the office area and toward the storage room, Evan trailing close behind. We cross a room containing six large desks staffed by various assistants. Every person turns to stare and every conversation stops.
Well, this isn’t awkward or anything.
I duck my head and walk faster, anything to get away as quickly as possible from the curious eyes and low whispers. When we reach the hallway lined with offices I turn to face Evan. “You can wait in reception you know. There aren’t exactly threats hanging out in here. Are you expecting an internal attack?”
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