With one hand pinning mine to the headboard and his other gripping my hip hard enough to leave bruises, he begins to move fast and hard. Drew undone is a carnal experience like no other. Each one of his forceful strokes shoves my body forward, which in turn slams the bed into the wall loudly. He doesn’t let up or slow down. Instead, he viciously bites at my shoulder and neck, sucking and licking after each rough nip, and I love every minute of it. It’s pure, sweaty, hedonistic fucking.
My low moaning ratchets up with the relentless pounding Drew is inflicting on me. Combined with the fact that he has me restrained and unable to do anything but feel and accept what he gives me, I resort to screaming his name over and over until stars burst behind my eyelids and I spasm around him.
When my body clenches around him tightly, Drew utters a string of unintelligible profanity and surges deep one final time as he reaches his own release. He lets go of my hands and collapses onto my back, his rapid breaths hot on my neck.
“That was…” he begins.
“Mind-blowing?” I finish for him.
“Yeah.” He separates from me and flops down on his back.
I stretch out next to him and push a few sweaty strands of hair off of his forehead. We’re both drenched and panting. A trickle of moisture runs from my collarbone down my shoulder and I wince.
“What?” Drew asks, sitting up quickly to see why I’m flinching.
“Nothing babe.”
His intelligent eyes read my expression and he knows I’m lying. He reaches out with a long finger and gently pushes my hair aside, exposing the flesh between my neck and shoulder.
“Shit,” he hisses.
“I’m fine Drew,” I say sternly. “Don’t be upset.”
“You’ve got, I mean… I can’t believe I… fuck!” He runs his hands through his hair, his eyes filled with regret.
“Stop. I’m. Fine.” I grab his chin and force him to look at me. “I loved every minute of it. And this?” I point to the huge, red bite mark that he left on my pale skin, “is your mark,” I say wickedly, twisting up the corner of my mouth in a grin.
The worry in Drew’s eyes is gone in an instant and replaced with a dark look I recognize. He cups my face in his hands and kisses me gently, moving down my neck to the wound he inflicted, brushing his lips across it reverently.
“I love you Sydney,” he whispers against my injured flesh.
I let him show me how much he loves me, this time slowly, worshipfully. A joining of two souls as one as our bodies connect. The mark he leaves on my heart is just as real as the one on my skin.
CHAPTER 28
The next morning Drew and Ryker make breakfast while Leah and I sit outside. I’m on the very same couch where I sat when I fled New York after finding out I was dating a celebrity. The same spot where I curled into a ball and admitted to my mom that I was in love with Drew. So much has changed since then.
“Are you going to look?” Leah asks.
I twitch at her question. “At the pictures?” She nods. “I don’t know Leah, the whole thing is so surreal.”
“Do you want me to look for you?”
Only your best friend would be willing to check out photos of you and your fiancé frolicking naked in a national tabloid and report back to you so you don’t have to do it.
“You may as well see them, everyone else has by now,” I say sarcastically.
“Probably,” she agrees.
“Leah!” I stare at her in disbelief.
“Well it’s true! You two are mysterious and private, surrounded by scandal, and you’re both hot,” she shrugs. “People are going to want to look.”
“Aren’t we here to forget about that shit?”
She just shrugs again.
Right before I’m about to kill Leah, the boys come outside with our food. They place plates filled with tropical fruit and small round Belizean pastries called fry jacks on the dining table. I stomp over and take a seat, leaving Leah to follow behind.
“What’s going on?” Drew asks me quietly.
I sigh and my shoulders sag. “Just thinking about the pictures.”
His body tenses up next to me. “Oh.”
“I forgot to tell you,” Ryker says through a mouthful of food.
“Ugh! Ry, you’re so gross,” Leah says admonishingly even though she’s smiling. “If your flock of fangirls could see that they’d finally leave you alone.”
Ryker waggles his eyebrows as he chews and swallows. “Anyway, I saw the pictures,” he says casually.
I feel lightheaded and Drew curls his fingers tightly around his fork. I slide my hand under the table and put it on his leg in a pathetic attempt to calm him down.
“Don’t sweat it. I checked them out for you and you can’t really tell what’s what.” Ryker smiles and pops a piece of his fry jack into his mouth.
“Are you serious?” I feel a glimmer of hope taking hold in my nauseated stomach.
“Yep. That dude must have been far away because the pics are blurry as hell.”
Drew lets out a breath that I didn’t realize he had been holding and I see his fist unclench some from around his cutlery.
“Thank Jesus,” Drew says. He whips out his phone and starts furiously typing.
“Are you going to look at them?” I ask disbelievingly.
“Fuck yeah I am. I was going to look at them either way, Sydney. I couldn’t live with not knowing how much everyone saw. Not knowing how much each perverted fucker that looked at you was seeing in their minds.”
I roll my eyes at his irrational over-protectiveness.
“Sydney, it’s sweet that he feels that way,” Leah coos from across the table.
What?
“Leah, you always thought that stuff like this was macho, over-possessive bullshit! That it was an over the top display of ownership and you would never allow it!” I remind her.
“Oh really?” Drew asks, looking up from his phone with a playful smirk on his face. “Does the way I treat Sydney bother you?” He focuses his intense green eyes on Leah.
Her cheeks redden some as she scoffs, “No. I mean, I used to think it would bother me. Okay yes, mostly I would be bothered by someone bossing me around and going around dictating who I can and can’t hang out with.”
“I don’t do that.”
I give Drew a sharp look and he corrects himself.
“Okay, just one exception,” he says darkly.
Ryker is thoroughly entertained by Leah and Drew’s back and forth. He watches them verbally spar with a giant smile on his face. Bastard! He’s the one who mentioned that he looked at the pictures.
“Yeah, well, after meeting you I decided to judge each overbearing man individually,” Leah says proudly to Drew.
“Huh?” I exclaim. “You? You changed your mind? Miss feminism?”
Leah flushes a deep crimson, not a common sight. “Yes. I told you that it’s kind of hot to have someone love you so much that they’ll do extreme things to keep you safe.” She squirms under Drew’s scrutiny, and Ryker’s, who has now turned to look at her in disbelief.
“So a little bit of old school, stereotypical, macho behavior would turn you on?” Ryker asks Leah in a teasing tone. “Because I could definitely be down for that.”
“Case by case basis Ry,” she responds dryly, winking at him.
I turn to Drew and see him scrutinizing his phone. “Damn screen is too small to see anything,” he mutters as he shoves back his chair and stomps into the house.
Stunned, I watch him go, taking a moment to decide what to do. “I’ll catch you guys later,” I tell Ryker and Leah as I jump up and follow Drew.
I find him in our room, sitting on the bed with his laptop, staring holes into the screen. His body language tells me that he’s not happy and my heart plummets into my feet.
“Is it bad?” I ask in a soft voice.
His eyes flick to mine for an instant, then back to the screen. He exhales deeply and runs his hand down his face. “It�
��s not great.”
“Oh.”
Do I want to know? No, not really, but I’m inexplicably drawn towards the bed.
Drew sees me coming over and makes a face, but says nothing. He opens his arms and lets me settle in between his legs so I can see.
I scan the title of the article, Andrew and Sydney’s Naked Romp, and want to throw up. Forcing myself to read the stupid commentary instead of just going directly to the photos, I’m speechless at the nerve of these people.
In town to promote his upcoming film, Mind of the Enemy, actor Andrew Forrester and girlfriend (and rumored fiancée) Sydney Tannen, spent the afternoon of September 10th relaxing at the Brentwood mansion of Forrester’s director and close friend Thomas C. Sullivan.
The couple emerged from the home onto the sprawling back terrace for lunch, then wasted no time shedding their inhibitions (along with their clothes) to cozy up in the pool. After their ‘swim’, Forrester and Tannen disappeared beneath one of Sullivan’s covered cabanas. Perhaps for an afternoon delight?
They spent the rest of the gorgeous Southern California day lounging poolside without a stitch of fabric in sight. When it was time to return to the hotel for an intimate dinner with the rest of the cast, including Thomas C. Sullivan and co-star Zane McNamara, Forrester drove Miss Tannen away in a rented McLaren 12c Spider convertible.
I must admit, it’s nice to be Andrew Forrester; hot car, hot girlfriend, skinny-dipping in the middle of the day. Save some of the fun for the regular guys, Andrew!
“What the hell? Someone was watching everything we did!” I am completely floored.
“Obviously,” Drew hisses. “We’re lucky this isn’t a video, Sydney.”
At the thought of an actual naked, sex-filled video of us being on the internet, I feel the familiar wave of panic starting in my stomach.
“Breathe Syd,” Drew whispers as he pulls my back against his chest and hooks an arm around my shoulders. “It’s okay, they didn’t film anything.”
I let him hold me for a few minutes, so my heart can stop racing before I look at the pictures. Steeling myself, I sit up straight and click on the icon.
You must be 18 to enter
Well isn’t that just fan-fucking-tastic.
I huff in annoyance and click the box that indicates I’m over 18 years-old.
The screen fills with thumbnails, dozens of them. They’re small, but I recognize Chad’s back patio and the large pool. I move the arrow over and hit the icon to start slide show.
The first picture fills the screen. It’s the two of us eating lunch. I can’t tell what’s on our plates, but I can definitely see our faces enough to know who we are.
Fuck.
I swallow loudly when the second photo pops up. Drew is undressing me, and it’s obvious. The third is of him scooping me up before he jumps into the pool. Okay, you can’t see very much in that shot, my body is blocking his and I’m too balled up in his arms to see anything of mine.
Thank God for small miracles.
The next few are of us clinging to each other in the pool, kissing and touching. The water hides anything scandalous, but I’m furious that this private moment is available on the internet to anyone who wants it.
The shots of us getting out of the pool are humiliating. I’m wrapped around Drew like a vine, legs around his waist and arms around his neck. His hands are beneath my ass, carrying me across the patio to the covered cabana nearby. We’re kissing intimately the entire time.
The only good part is that our melded bodies hide everything from view. Well, except my ass, which Drew’s hands do a fairly good job of covering.
It’s the last ones that are the worst. We’re lying on our individual chairs, and you can pretty much tell what’s what. Ryker was partially right. The pictures aren’t clear, but you can see my body, the shading of my bare breasts and the junction of my thighs. Drew’s nakedness is more difficult to distinguish because of the grainy quality, but he clearly has something between his legs, pixelated or not.
I close the browser and shut the laptop.
“Syd?” Drew whispers in my ear as he snakes his arms back around my shoulders, pressing his front to my back.
“Yeah.”
“Say something,” he pleads with me. He’s afraid that I’m slipping into another catatonic panic attack.
“I don’t give a fuck,” I say, surprising myself.
Drew lifts me up and turns me until I’m straddling his lap.
“What?” He tilts his head and frowns.
“I. Don’t. Give. A. Fuck.” I repeat.
Drew stares at me, his jaw hanging open in shock at my words. “How, how can you not care?”
“Okay, let me clarify. I can’t give a fuck. Is that better? It’s too much. This…” I wave vaguely toward the computer on the bed, “this is the worst that it can get. Our privacy, my body, your body; violated completely. There’s nothing else that they can do that could possibly be any more cruel or damaging. The only way I can cope is to say fuck it, and move on.”
Blowing out a breath, I take in my gorgeous fiancé. I see his lightly stubbled face, the tiny crinkles in the corners of his concerned eyes, his slightly pursed lips that are on the edge of responding to my tirade but are unsure of what to say. I reach up and gently stroke his rough cheek.
“I’m done, Drew. Done with their shit. Done caring what they say and do.”
He starts to speak but I hold up a finger, urging him to let me finish.
“I know I’ve said this before, but now, after this? I mean it. They can follow us, they can photograph us, they can write whatever they want; I’m done with giving them anymore of my energy, of my life. Of our life. To me? They. Don’t. Exist.”
Drew doesn’t say anything and I wonder if he thinks that I’m crazy. Maybe I am, but I seriously can’t allow these ridiculous outside forces to control me any longer. They will destroy us if we let them.
I’m about to say something when the corner of Drew’s mouth quirks up in that way that I love. That way I haven’t seen in so long. It’s then that I know, my Drew is back and we’ll be okay.
“I have to tell you Syd, just like always, your reactions completely surprise me.” He wraps his strong arms around me and pulls me tight against his chest. I relax, listening to the vitality of his heartbeat. It’s rhythm grounding me to my reality, to him. “I still have to beat Ryker up for looking at you naked though,” he jokes.
At least, I hope he’s joking.
I let out a hoarse laugh. “Let’s call Rhys to give them our statement and put this shit to bed,” I murmur into his thin T-shirt. “I want to go explore the reef.”
I can feel his grin as he buries his face in my hair. “I’ll dial,” he whispers.
After releasing our joint statement, we get my mom’s caretaker to arrange a snorkeling tour of the massive barrier reef that spans the length of Belize and surrounds the islands that dot the coast.
We spend the day swimming and snorkeling and just hanging out on the large catamaran that takes us to each spot. We’re just four friends having beers, diving with sharks at Shark Ray Alley, watching the magnificent Green Turtles at Hol Chan, and sunning ourselves on the deck of the boat.
“I’ve never done this before,” I say to Leah as we lay on our towels, the boys still in the water nearby.
She leans up on her elbow and shades her eyes to look at me. “Done what?”
“This,” I say, waving my hand around. “Going away with friends, relaxing, being myself. It’s freeing.” I close my eyes and lay back.
I don’t expect silence from Leah so when she doesn’t respond, I open my eyes and see her smiling at me.
“What?” I ask.
“You’re so different now, Syd. I’m proud of you.”
I swallow, not wanting to ruin this trip with tears. “Thanks Leah. I couldn’t have gotten here without you.”
“What are best friends for? By the way, don’t think I didn’t notice that giant bite mar
k on your shoulder that you’ve been trying to hide with your hair. Now, let’s get one of those panty rippers that we turned down earlier,” she says mischievously.
I grin, remembering when I gave Drew hell for drinking one in St. Bart’s. “That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day.”
CHAPTER 29
I had wanted to stay in Belize a day or two longer, but Drew and Ryker had to be back for more pre-production work on their film. Looking out the window of my Mom’s jet, I watch New York come into view and am transported back to my trip to St. Bart’s with Drew.
I was so sad to come back, not wanting to lose the intimacy we gained from spending four perfect days together on the island. I marvel at how different I feel this time. Shifting my head, I drink in the sight of Drew next to me. He fell asleep and looks so peaceful, content. The worry lines that normally plague his brow are smooth and his breathing is even and deep.
This time, we return from the Caribbean and I know he wants me forever.
“What are you grinning at?” Leah asks from across the aisle.
I shrug. “Nothing in particular.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Uh-uh. You can’t fool me girl. I know you too well.” She turns back to Ryker and resumes the conversation they were having before she caught me acting like an idiot.
An idiot with the perfect guy.
Bruce meets us at Teterboro with the Mercedes SUV and helps us with our luggage.
Drew jumps in next to me after storing our bags. “How bad is it Bruce?” he asks the driver.
“Pretty bad,” Bruce answers.
I have no idea what they’re talking about until Bruce elaborates.
“There were over a hundred of them the first two days, now I’d say about fifty. Plus the news vans. The street has been a mess.”
A chill runs down my spine. They’re talking about the paparazzi outside the brownstone.
I squeeze Drew’s hand. “Hey, we don’t care. Remember?”
His gaze connects with mine and some of his tense energy releases from his shoulders. “I’m still pissed that people saw you naked Sydney,” he growls.
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