“Thank you,” I told her. She smiled at me and went to leave the room. “Wait,” I said. I knew her face. She was the woman with John from last night.
“Avery, please. I only came to check on you. If John knows you recognized me then he might be angry,” she said in a hushed whisper.
“Wait, you’re not supposed to be here?” I was confused as to who she was exactly.
“No, not really. I am supposed to be with you, just not seen by you,” she answered.
“Amanda?” It was just a guess really because she looked nothing like the Amanda in my dreams. I did know that guides could change forms. John sure looked different the last time I saw him.
“Shh!” She came closer to me and sat on the edge of the bed. “Yes, it’s me. I was there last night with John as well. I was hoping you wouldn’t know it was me.” I smiled, although I wasn’t sure why. Maybe because beneath all of the ‘good girl’ reverie, Amanda was trying to help me just like Ianni had.
“Won’t your wings turn colors?” I asked her.
She looked up with a shocked expression. “No! I was assigned here today; I am not breaking the rules.”
So much for the good girl gone bad idea. “Why are you supposed to be here? I thought guides just, well, guided.”
“Because John asked me to come along with him to find Sarafe. Guides do more than just guide, Avery.” She placed her hand on my arm. “You of all people should know that.” True, Ianni did more than guide me through my life. She also saved me.
“Well, I called Dallas,” Ianni said as she walked into the room. “Oh sorry.” She stopped at the door noticing my ‘nurse’.
“It’s all right. I am all done here. Just keep her bandage clean and redress it every night.” Amanda stood and left the room without even a goodbye.
Dallas treated me like a queen all day. He made me lunch, massaged my back, and waited on me hand and foot. He was enjoying spoiling me, but not the reason for it. He knew only what he had to know about the accident; it was a hit and run. Nothing more. I didn’t need him worried about another Dark Guide and anymore ‘incidents’ that may occur. It had been a week since the accident and I was going back to work tomorrow. I didn’t want to be cooped up in the house any longer. I felt like I couldn’t breathe in here. Dallas did all he could to come visit me, but today had been the only day we could really spend time together.
I had plenty of time to plan Kerri’s party. Sadly, I had to nix the Vegas idea. I wasn’t up for a huge party of that sort with my back pain. So I ended up planning a girl’s weekend in Laguna Beach. I booked a party room at a nightclub called Bash. The only way I got the “in” was because Dallas knew the owner. We were stealing Kerri away from work on Saturday afternoon. Ianni and I had made the plans together; she was so helpful on the shopping part. She bought Kerri a new navy blue dress to wear and bought me a light pink one.
It was hard to believe that in only a few weeks Kerri would be married. I was ready to see my friend start this part of her life. Dallas and I hadn’t really talked much about the details of the wedding, so the best time to do it was now.
“Can we talk about the wedding for a minute?” He stopped folding my laundry and I had his full attention. “Well, it’s just that every time I try to talk with you about it, we never get to finish,” I started. “Have you gotten your tux?” He put a shirt down and nodded.
“Yep.” He avoided my eyes, telling me something was wrong.
“Dallas, what is it?”
“I won’t be able to go to the wedding,” he said. I hadn’t expected that answer. My mouth fell open. “I wanted to tell you the night you came back, but I saw how tired you were so I thought I would wait. Then you had the accident.” I got out of bed and paced the room. How could he not be at the wedding? What would be more important?
“Why?” I asked, even though my head spun with more questions.
“I got an offer to go to New York and look into another restaurant. Evolve could be west coast and east. It was a huge offer, so I took it.” I was appalled.
“Another restaurant in New York? That’s more important than the wedding?” I asked as I stormed to the living room. I was so mad I wanted to be away from him.
“I told Justin and he understood. It is no big deal.” No big deal? I was frustrated and mad. They were my friends, but they were his friends, too. His friends were mine; that was how it worked.
“When were you planning on telling me?”
“Today sometime. I was avoiding it because I knew you wouldn’t be happy,” he admitted. “But in all honesty, I didn’t want to go anyway. Evolve is getting huge, Avery, and this is a great opportunity. For the both of us.” I hated that. When he acted like Evolve was mine as well. It wasn’t mine, and right now I didn’t feel like he was mine. Evolve had him more than I did. I was competing for my relationship with his job.
I took a deep breath, wanting to end the argument. We had done nothing except argue lately. I had to try to be supportive for the sake of our relationship.
“Okay, then. I will just have to go alone.” My eyes shot downwards and I felt sad. I had envisioned us dancing the night away at the wedding. For once I was going to be able to spend some time with the man I loved.
“I truly am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” he said as he pulled me into his arms. “I promise to make it up to you.”
After he left I sat on my couch sulking. I was feeling sorry for myself. I had to try to pull myself out of this. So what he can’t go, it didn’t mean anything. His job just needs his attention. Before he left he told me that things would calm down in the wintertime and we would be able to see more of each other. I knew that I was making more and more excuses for his actions lately, and he was apologizing to me too often.
Ianni came home as I still lay on the couch in my pajamas. She could see something was wrong. So of course I told her what happened. I also told her about all our other fights.
“Couples have to work out the bumps in the beginning of a relationship. That’s all this is,” she concluded. Leave it to her to come up with the best analogy of our fights. I had thought enough about Dallas for tonight and I wanted to hear about Ianni.
“What’s new with you?” I asked, changing the subject for the better. She smiled like a kid on Christmas. She had a secret; I could tell.
“Beau and I are going out for drinks after work tomorrow,” she squealed. “And tonight he was so cute. He would walk by me and whisper things in my ear, like how beautiful I am.” To say that I was happy for her wouldn’t do it justice. I was beyond happy. She deserved a good man and Beau sounded like he was one.
“Well, when do I get to meet him?”
“I was hoping you and Dallas could come out with us tomorrow night?” She bit her lip. I could now see the nerves rolling through her about the date.
“Sure!”
I couldn’t sleep that night. I tried, but no matter what I did, it wasn’t happening. I was thinking about way too much. Dallas mostly, but also Sarafe. I wanted to find her and make her pay for hurting me. I wanted to send her wherever Dedrick was. To the depths of Hell would work just fine for me. The phone ringing pulled me out of my murderous thoughts.
“Hello,” I answered.
“I am so sorry, Avery.” Dallas. His voice sounded sincere and I knew he meant what he was saying. I was just tired of hearing ‘sorry’ from everyone. Sorry you have to remember your past lives. Sorry you have to still see them. Sorry Dallas is being moody and pushing you away.
“I know you are,” I whispered. “I am really trying hard to sleep and I think I can’t because we fought.”
“That makes two of us then. I can’t sleep and I can’t help but feel that your car accident wasn’t just an accident.” Oh crap. I didn’t want to have to involve him in this. I wanted to leave him out of it as long as possible. But I had to drag him into my world, because he was part of it. I took a deep breath and let it all out
. I told him all of it. Even about Sarafe and her vendetta for my friends and me. I left out seeing my daughter and the visions I still have with Landon.
He took it well, sort of. He cussed a lot and then concluded with the mother of all shockers, “Move in with me.”
“What? I can’t do that Dallas. I like my apartment. Besides, we are not ready for that yet,” I told him. “And Ianni. What about her?”
“Well, you both can move in. I have a third room and you can stay with me. We will keep your place and I will pay your rent.” Wow, what an offer to have. I didn’t know for sure what to do. I was torn between the right decision and what he wanted for me to keep me safe. I also didn’t want to disappoint him by saying no.
“I will think about it,” I said quietly. We hung up with the lingering promise of me thinking about this colossal decision. I was in love with him, I knew that, but I wasn’t ready to move in with him. Once you move in with someone things change. There is no more privacy and space. It’s you and him 24/7.
I closed my eyes and hoped the next day would provide some answers.
Chapter Sixteen
Change
Change can be a good thing when you’re ready. Not when you’re rushed and it’s forced. Then change is like pressure that builds until you make a decision. You make that choice because you have to. Not because you wanted to make it.
That was how I felt all day about my decision to move in with Dallas. All day long my head played tricks on me. One hour I was set to call him and tell him yes and the next I talked myself out of it. I pretty much did that the entire week. I was being a coward. I avoided any long conversations with him on the phone. I kept it short and sweet. I even canceled drinks with Ianni and Beau for now. I hated letting Ianni down, but after what Dallas put me through yesterday, I knew it was best to spend time thinking. I didn’t want to make a rash decision only to see it end our relationship.
By the end of the week I had driven myself completely crazy about it. I ended the week by staying focused on Kerri’s party, which was a day away. We were driving her down to Laguna, telling her it was just a beach day. She had no idea about the party.
I was feeling better but my new car wasn’t. I had to get a rental until they fixed mine. The accident played through my head all the time. The sound of screeching tires and crashing glass took over my thoughts daily. I wasn’t ready for another attack. I hoped she would back off now that she knew John and Amanda were searching for her.
“So you’re not going to talk to Dallas about it?” Ianni asked as we packed the rental car with all of our bags. She didn’t offer any advice really. All she said to me was it was a good idea to keep me safe. She wanted the best for me as well. She always did.
“I don’t plan on bringing it up until after the weekend,” I said as I slammed my trunk. “It’s not that I don’t want to move our relationship to new levels, I just think this is a huge leap.” Nodding, she grabbed her bag of pretzels and got in the car.
“Well, if you ask me, it will bring you closer to Landon.” We both turned and in my back seat sat Lillith, her wings drawn close to her body so she could fit. She wore a huge smile for Ianni and they hugged. I got a nod and that was it.
“I don’t think that will help anything, Lillith,” I told her as I started the car. Being surprised by angels was not a big deal to me anymore. They were a normal thing in my life now.
“Of course it will. You can get to know him better,” she offered. I knew Landon well enough for this life. “You don’t really know why you deny him of love in this life, do you?”
“Lillith don’t,” Ianni warned. I looked into the rearview mirror, now curious. She smiled at me like she knew I was interested.
“All I know is that my soul chose to live without him in every life, Lillith. I chose to lead a different life. One that didn’t involve his soul. That’s enough for me,” I said as we pulled onto Kerri’s street. “Besides, I chose Dallas this time.” She laughed loudly and I pulled the car to a stop. I glared at her as she laughed and Ianni put her head on the window. She knew something; she knew what Lillith was talking about. I felt like a complete ass, like all that I knew wasn’t the truth. Really I never remember actually saying that I wanted to move on without his soul. I just remember making the choice to live again after each death. I only knew what Ianni had told me. She told me I wanted to love a different soul.
“Maybe you and your new Spirit Guide should talk more about that. See you all later,” Lillith said as she disappeared. Maybe she was only causing her usual drama. I didn’t know for sure. Instead of pestering Ianni for answers I would ask Amanda for myself.
Getting Kerri pumped for a beach day was no big deal. That girl tanned constantly and she loved the sun. I didn’t care for it so much. I burned terribly if I didn’t slather on the sunblock. I was anxious to get back to the beach though. Landon had been right; I could live on the beach. The salty air made me feel at home, although I could live without the tan.
Kerri had no clue that we were surprising her until that evening. It all worked out so well. We spent the day at the beach, had lunch on the cliffs, and at night got dressed to go out. Kerri thought we were just going for drinks. When we arrived at Bash she knew something was up. Bash wasn’t your typical bar; it was something more than that. It was where the party was at on the West Coast. Stars had been photographed here and lots of Hollywood events took place here as well. When we arrived Kerri seemed anxious, but once we got in and she saw the place she relaxed. It was relatively calm in the bar area. When you got to the dance floor things were louder. Music blared and people danced.
We walked into our private party room where she was greeted by Astrid and her mother. She screamed and jumped up and down. She was totally surprised and excited to see Astrid. Astrid, a tall blonde who could knock you down by her looks, was a total sweetheart. She hugged me instantly and thanked me for keeping her in the loop. She was a nice girl and I couldn’t help but think that Landon would like her. Maybe he would hit on her at the wedding.
Ugh no. I had to think of something else besides Landon. I got us a round of drinks and Kerri’s other friends came bearing gifts for her to open. We sat and talked as she opened scantily clad lingerie and giggled. Her mom, who was being very nice to me, even laughed at times.
Sue, Justin’s mom, came late claiming she got lost. Which was easy to do if you didn’t know your way around Laguna. We all drank, danced, and let loose. The truth was I would miss doing this with Kerri. While I was more than happy to see her settle down with someone who loved her, I would miss these times.
She came over and hugged me tightly. “Thank you for all of this. You’re the best friend a girl could ask for.” I hugged her back. Friends were definitely a must have in life. What would we do if we didn’t have them?
The next morning we felt the night before, all of us. My head pounded and Kerri moaned. Ianni slept on the bathroom floor, having drank way too much. It was her first official hangover. We had to celebrate that. Once we woke her we went to breakfast.
“Last night was fabulous,” Ianni said while sipping her third cup of coffee. “I have never had so much fun, ever!”
“Welcome to the world of partying. I am officially done with that scene so it’s all yours,” Kerri said while eating her weight in eggs and bacon. “I will miss it, though.”
I wouldn’t know what to miss. Yeah, Kerri and I would go to La Costa for drinks, but we never partied like last night. While I would miss girl’s nights out, I would not miss hangovers like this one.
My cell phone buzzed on the table and I knew exactly who it was. I stepped outside to take Dallas’ call.
“Hey stranger, how is Laguna?” he asked.
“Beautiful, but we drank way too much last night.” I could hear loud noises on the other line. “Where are you?”
“Work. I
am in the kitchen. We have another food critic coming in tonight so Sarah and I are trying to come up with the best ideas,” he spoke to her for a moment, then came back to me. “So I wanted to see if you thought about my offer.”
Crap! I had actually forgotten about it. I hadn’t made a decision at the moment.
“I am still thinking about it,” I told him.
“Avery, I only want what’s best for you. Sarah and I will be leaving for New York next week and I would feel better if you were in my house while I am gone. Just until I get back, then you can make your final choice.” Sarah and him! This was the first I was hearing about his chef going with him to New York.
“I didn’t know she was coming with you,” I said nonchalantly. I didn’t want to be the jealous girlfriend. I hadn’t met this girl and he talked about her all the time. She could be some beautiful threat to my relationship. So I did what any insecure girlfriend would do. “Okay, I will stay with you next week, until you get back, then we can make long term decisions.” He laughed into the line at my comment.
“Princess, it’s not a permanent thing. Not unless you want it to be. I want to keep you safe. I can’t do that if you’re not with me.”
What he said was true, but he wouldn’t be with me all the time. He would be in New York with Sarah instead. I swallowed that nasty remark and instead said my nicest one, “Thanks, babe. I know you’re trying to look out for me. I have to get back to the girls.”
“Okay, love you lots,” he said as we hung up.
“Love you, too.” But he hung up before he heard me say it.
Some changes can be good. Others change before you’re ready for them to. I wasn’t ready for Dallas to change, but it was occurring whether I wanted it to or not. The fact was Dallas was different than when we first started dating.
Chapter Seventeen
Black Ink
I went back in to meet the girls and I immediately asked Ianni what Sarah was like.
Unraveling of Avery Snow, The Page 9