It had been like this ever since her father had come home from his errands yesterday afternoon. And today had not been any better—for some reason, most of the family had decided to congregate in the kitchen and had forced her to join them. Viola and Roman were there, as well as Amanda and Regina. And her parents and grandparents. All chatting merrily. Just like they had all kinds of wonderful-gut things to celebrate.
In fact, it had seemed like she was the only person in the family who wasn’t talking merrily or laughing at a new joke. As the minutes passed, Elsie became more and more uncomfortable.
She knew her sour mood hadn’t gone unnoticed. Every so often, someone in the family would cast a worried glance her way, then try to include her in the conversation.
She’d had no desire to talk to anyone, and had tried to leave the room more than once.
But each person seemed intent on keeping her with them, Viola most of all. “Come on, Elsie,” she coaxed with what looked like a terrible, pasted-on smile. “How about trying out some of the applesauce Amanda and I made this morning?”
“Nee.”
“You should try it. It’s gut.”
“Viola, I’m not hungry.”
“It doesn’t matter if you’re hungry, you can still give it a try, don’t you think?”
Elsie wanted to snap that it did, indeed, make all the difference in the world. But she knew such comments would only make her seem surlier than she was already acting. “Viola, I’m sure your applesauce is gut, it always is. But I don’t want any.”
Her mother walked over and peered at her closer. “Are you feeling poorly?”
Her heart was. “I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine.” Reaching out, she looked determined to pat her face all over to see if she had a fever. It was a habit of her mother’s that Elsie had always found rather annoying.
“Mamm, there’s no need to put your hands all over my face.”
Her mother lowered her hand. “Elsie, I was only trying to help you.”
“I know you were, but I am old enough to know if I have a fever.”
“Elsie,” her grandmother admonished with a heavy frown. “Watch your tongue. There’s no need to snap at your mother like that.”
The small furor that had been brewing in her belly seemed determined to reach its pinnacle, her true breaking point.
Looking out the kitchen window, Elsie ached to jump to her feet, run out the door, and keep on running until her feet could no longer carry her. Anywhere had to be better than where she was.
Anything had to be easier than the situation she was in.
But since that didn’t seem possible, she bit her lip hard. She was now determined to hold her tongue, while hoping and praying she would be allowed to leave sooner than later.
Another ten minutes passed.
It felt like four hours.
She was debating whether to ask again what was going on or to simply leave when her father clasped his hands together. “Everyone, he is here! And it’s about time, too.”
The tension in the room suddenly dissipated. Which was funny, because Elsie now realized that she hadn’t even noticed the tension. She’d thought it was merely her bad mood infecting her gregarious, happy family.
As she looked around, it slowly dawned on her that she was the only person who didn’t seem to understand the significance of her father’s words.
Even little Regina seemed to be delighted about her dawdi Peter’s announcement.
The suspense was starting to drive her crazy. “Exactly who is here?” she asked.
Her mother grinned. “It’s a surprise.”
Exasperation warred with her curiosity. Maybe it was Viola’s Edward? She couldn’t think of any other reason for the family to be so excited.
“Viola, tell me,” she whispered. “Is Edward here?”
“Nope,” Viola said as she turned away and started walking to the door. “You sit tight. I’m going to go let him in.”
She wanted to stomp her feet like a child. Or complain. Or scream. She wanted—no, needed—to do something!
Not caring anymore if she sounded disrespectful or shrewish, Elsie fairly yelled at her father. “Daed, who is here?”
“Dear, it’s Landon, of course,” her mother said as the mudroom door opened and Viola’s voice floated into the kitchen.
“Landon?” she whispered. This was not good news.
Then, as she waited for someone—anyone—to fill her in, in walked Landon Troyer himself. He looked bashful and handsome and determined.
Without even a quick greeting to the crowd of people standing in the kitchen, he walked directly to her. “Hi, Elsie.”
Hi? He came over to say hello?
Still confused and miffed, she eyed him coolly. “Landon, why are you here?”
“I wanted to apologize. And to explain myself, too.”
Elsie sat up straight, slowly realizing that everyone in the family intended to be a part of the conversation. “Now?”
“Jah. It’s as good a time as any, don’tcha think?”
“Nee.” It was too much. “I don’t believe we have anything to say to each other.”
There. She’d done it. She’d just pushed away the best man who’d ever come into her life. She steeled herself to watch him turn and walk away from her for good.
In front of her whole family.
But instead of heeding her words, he knelt down and rested his hands on the edge of her chair. “Your father told me you’d probably tell me something like that.”
“My father?”
Landon gestured behind him. “Jah. He paid me a visit yesterday.”
Now she was really mortified. “Daed, did you tell Landon to come over here and apologize to me in front of the whole family?”
He shifted on his feet in a guilty way. “Not exactly . . .”
“What, exactly, did you say to Landon?” When he merely looked at his feet, she felt her temper rise again. “Daed, I wish you wouldn’t have done this.”
“It’s not like you’re thinking,” he said quickly.
She was so angry, she got to her feet. “Landon, I’m sorry my father made you feel obligated to do this . . . this public apology. I promise, I had no idea he had such a thing planned.”
But instead of accepting her apology, Landon shook his head as he got to his feet, too. “Don’t be hard on him, Elsie. When your father came over, I had already planned to come over here to see you. I was ah, just trying to gather my courage.”
“Gather your courage?”
“Jah. Shortly after we parted the other night, I began to have my doubts about all those plans I’d been so proud of. Once more, I began to realize just how stupid I’d been.”
“You did?” she asked again. Slowly, she began to be aware of just how much the rest of the family was concentrating on Landon’s words. It was so still in the room one could hear a pin drop.
But she was just as aware that she no longer cared about who was listening, or what anyone else thought. All she cared about was Landon and the words she was hearing from his lips.
Landon, too, seemed to be oblivious to all her relatives’ ears. He reached out and gently took her hand. “My brother reminded me of something that I’d recently forgotten. That plans are good and all, but they’re meant to be only that . . . plans. Not something carved in stone that can never be changed.”
He paused, and then continued, his voice huskier than before. “Daniel also reminded me of how much harder it is to find a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. To fall in love with. That is what needs to be sheltered and protected and guarded, no matter what.”
Her hand felt secure in his hand. “Is that what has happened to you?” she whispered.
“Jah. I’ve fallen in love with you, Elsie. I’m in love,” he said with a sheepish-looking smile. “Completely, definitely, without-a-doubt in love!”
As she looked at him in wonder, he continued. “Elsie, I want to kee
p you close to me always. That’s what is important. That’s all that matters. Everything else? It pales by comparison.”
These were words out of her daydreams. Words she’d begun to believe she’d never hear. They were so sweet, so kind, she found herself simply staring at him. Speechless.
Landon continued with a smile. “Elsie, I asked Peter to have your family here on purpose. I wanted everyone who is important to you to know how important you are to me. And more important, I want them to be my witnesses.”
After looking around the room, he said, “Elsie, I promise you now, in front of everyone present who is important to you, that from this day forward I will do everything I can to make you happy. I want to marry you, Elsie.”
“Even if I can’t see?”
“Especially if you can’t see. No matter how you come to me, I want you, Elsie.”
“But what if I can’t give you anything in return? I don’t want to be your burden.”
“Elsie, you already make my burdens lighter. Your happy spirit makes any load feel lighter. Your willingness to accept everyone around you for what they are—not for what you wish them to be—humbles me. Makes me yearn to see other people that way, too. I’ve already discovered that every day is better with you in it.”
She didn’t know what to say. How could she? How did one respond to such sweet, heartfelt words? Her mouth went dry as Landon stared at her, looking for a response.
She glanced at Viola. Though she couldn’t really make out Viola’s expression, she did see what her sister wanted her to . . . a slow, decisive nod.
“Well,” she said. Then paused, trying to form words when her mind seemed to have gone blank. Warily, she looked at Landon. Prepared herself to see his impatience with her.
But all she noticed was that he was still there. And her hand was still clasped between his own.
She tried again. “Landon, I’ve done a lot of thinking about the two of us . . . and about what you thought life might be like if we were married. And, ah, I have to say that you weren’t all wrong. It might be a mighty difficult thing, to be married to a woman who can’t see all that well. Or at all,” she forced herself to say.
“We can make it work.”
His words matched his tone. Both sounded certain. Confident.
But how could she be sure what was the right direction to go? Whatever she said was going to affect the rest of her life.
From the back of the kitchen, her grandmother cleared her throat. “If I may,” she began. “I would like to share something that I’ve learned most recently.”
Elsie turned to her, as did Landon.
“What did you learn, Mommi?” Viola asked.
Her grandmother glanced at her grandfather, then drew a breath. “I’ve learned that nothing is impossible, as long as you have support from people who love you. And you have many people who love you, Elsie. I, for one, think Got arranged your relationship with Landon here mighty nicely.”
“Because?” Landon asked.
“Because we’re all here, of course, young man,” she replied in a huffy voice. “We can help as needed.”
That did sound wonderful, but did she want to enter a marriage, knowing that she was going to have to rely on all of them? Maybe it was too much.
Maybe he hadn’t really thought about what he was getting into.
“Landon, perhaps you should think this through some more.”
“I have thought it through. That’s why I called over here earlier and asked for your family to be here. I want us to be married, Elsie. But I want more than just a marriage, I want a future that we can feel good about.”
“And you’d feel good with my family here?”
“I’d feel good knowing that you have everything you need. Maybe you won’t need them all that much. But just in case you do, I don’t want you to be afraid to ask.”
She turned, looked at her family. “What do you all think of this?”
To her surprise, Roman laughed. “What do we think? Elsie, why else would we all be here? We want to be here. And we don’t want you to ever be afraid to ask for help if you need it.”
Viola walked toward her. “And if you don’t need our help, I want you to be able to tell us that, too.”
“Could it be as easy as that, Landon?”
He held out both hands to her. “Only if you want it to be.”
It could be easy . . . but only if she wanted it to be.
That was what life was like, wasn’t it? You could grasp the future with two hands, or hold yourself apart and be afraid.
You could live independently by yourself, and not do things because they were too hard.
Or you could depend on others . . . and let them carry you through when you needed it. Her wonderful, noisy, complicated family was right there for her.
As was a man who was willing to have everything . . . if he could have her, too.
And so there was only one choice. One beautiful, awe-inspiring, blessed, wonderful choice.
Reaching out, she clasped Landon’s hands.
Then right there, in front of everyone, she looked him in the eye as best she could and said what was in her heart.
“Yes.”
As the room exploded in cheers and Landon wrapped his arms around her and held her close, Elsie felt as if for the first time in a long time, she saw the world clearly. She was loved.
And because of that, all was well with the world.
It was perfect.
epilogue
Oh, what a day! Dear Viola’s wedding day! She was as tired as she’d ever been, Lovina decided, as she stepped out onto the narrow front stoop of the dawdi haus.
Looking out into the yard, she recalled the faint impressions left from the dozens of buggies parked on the lawn. The flower beds that she and Marie and Lorene had so carefully tended and nurtured were a bit trampled now. No matter what the occasion, children had a way of forgetting to watch where they were going!
Taking care to shut the door quietly behind her, she sat down on the step, letting her bare feet graze the soft spring grass that was already turning damp with dew. Viola and her Edward had been quite the happy couple.
Actually, everyone in the family had been happy. Happier than they’d been since she could remember. Lovina let herself smile as she recalled how merry the wedding luncheon had been, and how pleased Peter and Marie had looked as they watched Viola flit about.
Roman and his wife, Amanda, and Elsie with her fiancé, Landon, had been just as exuberant. But that was to be expected, she mused. Newlyweds and soon-to-be newlyweds were supposed to be all smiles.
It was only recently that she’d realized that older married couples could enjoy the same bliss.
It was late. Very late. Aaron had gone to bed hours ago. She had a feeling the rest of the family was asleep, too.
But for some reason, she wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to the day.
But of course, the day had already passed.
As far as she could see, the only lights to be found were in the form of twinkling stars overhead. Leaning back slightly, Lovina gave into a childish impulse and attempted to count them.
When she got to thirty, she giggled softly. Many years ago, her own father had told her that he’d sometimes felt decades younger than his age. At the time, she hadn’t believed him—but probably because she had been at the stage in her life when she yearned to be older.
It had been too hard to imagine wanting to be younger.
But here it had happened. Here, she was doing something she’d done back when she was eleven or twelve. . . . And counting those faraway stars still felt as exhilarating as it had when she was small.
Yes, time really did move on. Day became night and then day again. Before she knew it, another week had gone by, then a month, and then yet another year.
Life had a way of doing that, she supposed. People fell in love, got sick, had babies, simply lived. Time kept passing whether a person was ready or not.
And what a year her beloved family had been through!
At last, all of their carefully hidden secrets had come to light, and one by one, each of them had been forced to deal with the revelations.
To her surprise, they’d all become better people because of the disclosures. She and Aaron had finally dared to return to Pennsylvania and confront the people they’d tried so hard to leave behind. And in doing so, they’d reconnected with Sara and her family.
They’d even learned that forgiveness is always possible, even after forty years.
Peter, after finally seeking treatment for his alcohol problem, seemed to be happier. He and Marie had reached a better place in their marriage, too.
Each of Lovina and Aaron’s kinner were calling and writing often now. And Lorene had finally found love with a man she’d first been infatuated with ten years ago.
They’d all done a lot of growing up, too. Roman was now preaching to the community, Viola was now married, and would be moving to Belize in just a few days.
And Elsie? Her sweet Elsie was engaged and bravely facing a future she knew she’d never see.
Since she was alone, Lovina allowed the tears to come. Elsie’s blindness, and her eventual decision to not have surgery had been quite a blow. For a family who ached to fix everything, it had been hard for them to accept Elsie’s decision to keep things the same.
But of course, Elsie had also taught them so much about acceptance and perspective. Elsie had taught them about patience and perseverance. About inner strength.
That was when they’d all realized that Elsie wasn’t broken at all. Instead, she was as she was meant to be—sightless but full of insightfulness about the world around her.
Now, as Lovina sat alone on the stoop, fighting the urge to go to sleep in order to eke out the last minute of the day, she realized that Elsie was the smartest one of them all.
At the end of the day, when darkness fell and the light of others dimmed, believing in yourself was really all that mattered, wasn’t it?
Everyone was blind to what lay ahead of them. It didn’t really matter how much a person planned or struggled or fought. . . . What was in one’s future depended on God’s will.
Eventide: The Days of Redemption Series, Book Three Page 21