Fuck.
His eyes flooded with tears, and I wanted to kick myself. I’d gone to all this trouble to make sure Trevor had the best night ever, and now I was ruining it. I couldn’t help it though. It had been an instinctive reaction. And the anger and frustration at finding them on my bed was very real.
I clenched my jaw, my grip on Trevor’s arm tightening. “I’m sorry. Shit. I’m sorry, Trevor. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s fine,” he said sharply, but then turned away from me and went to the bed. He got in and under the covers with his back to me.
Damn it. Had I ruined this night? I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I’d wanted so badly to make it perfect. I climbed into the bed behind Trevor and wrapped my arms around him, apologizing again, speaking soothingly.
Eventually, he relaxed, but he didn’t say anything. And as we silently lay there I wondered again if having the dogs in the house was the best solution after all. But I needed Trevor in my life.
I was just going to have to figure this out. Somehow.
12
Trevor
I smiled as I looked around Pampered Paws right before closing time. There were still flowers everywhere, and they scented the entire place. Jason had gone all out for Valentine’s Day. The benefits of dating a florist.
The last four months had been nearly perfect—only two things clouding the otherwise clear sky. Jason and I had definitely grown closer every day, but he’d never brought up the subject of claiming me, and I was getting huge.
I settled a hand on my stomach. The baby would be here in just a few months. Did Jason want to wait until after he or she was born to claim me? I wasn’t sure, and it wasn’t like me not to just be straightforward and ask. But I’d held myself back because as I continued to gain weight from the pregnancy, my old insecurities had crept back in, increasing with every pound I gained. Which had been a lot. And the worse part was I didn’t even look pregnant. I just looked fat.
I knew I shouldn’t let it bother me. I should feel beautiful, knowing a life was growing inside me. But I didn’t. I wondered all the time what Jason thought about my body, and I’d become more reserved with being on display for him. Something I’d enjoyed before. I didn’t doubt Jason loved me and meant the things he said, but a tiny piece of me felt like this was all too good to be true, and I kept waiting for the bubble to pop.
Pregnancy was really doing a number on me, physically and emotionally.
The door to the shop opened, and I glanced up quickly, my heart jumping. Even though it had been over five months since the attack, I still felt jittery at times. They’d caught one of the guys, but not the other. I worried he might come back in even though I had state of the art security. And right now I was the only one here.
My shoulders relaxed when I saw a woman and a young boy come in. “Hi, can I help you?” I asked them.
“We just wanted a little more information about your daycare,” she replied. The little boy let go of her hand and started checking out the room. He couldn’t have been more than four.
“What kind of dog do you have?” I asked him, getting down on his level.
He giggled and looked at me. “You’re fat.”
“Tony!” the woman exclaimed, her expression horrified.
I forced a smile and ignored the comment, trying to save face in front of a prospective new client. “I have two dogs of my own. Would you like to see them?”
The woman nodded, but then gave me an apologetic look I’d rather she hadn’t. I tried my best not to think about what Tony had said while I gave her the rundown on the daycare and answered all her questions. After all, he was just a small child, and children were brutally honest. He was simply making an observation.
That knowledge didn’t make me feel any better though. By the time they left, I felt even more insecure about the way I looked. Is that how Jason saw me? A fat man? Probably.
It was all I could think about when he came over after closing the flower shop.
“Hey, sweetheart. How was your day?” he asked me like he usually did.
“Fine. Now let’s go home,” I said, going to the playroom. “Bonnie. Clyde. Come.”
Jason raised his eyebrows, but if he thought anything about me being so short with the dogs, he didn’t say anything. Hell, he probably hadn’t even noticed.
That also irritated me because even though he seemed like he was trying to accept the dogs, it was clear he wasn’t really. I’d hoped after all this time he would be used to them. We’d been living together for four months. He still hadn’t come around. In fact, the dogs weren’t even allowed in the bedroom—not after that night he’d found them in the bed.
I huffed out a breath and marched to the car. Jason tried to talk to me as he drove home, but I wasn’t in the mood to chat. I knew it was pregnancy hormones for the most part. I’d been feeling even more emotional lately, the slightest thing upsetting me. Like that little boy’s comment.
He let it go until we got home. But as soon as the door was shut behind us, he wrapped his arms around me and put a hand on my cheek before tipping my chin up with his thumb. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? And don’t tell me nothing.”
I took a big breath, ready to tell him just that, but when I let it out, my throat tightened and I choked back a sob.
“Trevor?” Jason asked, worry in his eyes. He was so good to me. But how long would he keep looking at me like that if I continued to blow up into a giant balloon?
“Talk to me. Please,” he said.
“Look at me! I’m a marshmallow! How could you love me when I look like this? I’m fat!” Hot tears ran down my fat cheeks and dripped off my fat chin and onto my fat stomach. I shook my head, all my woes pouring out of me, like a dam bursting.
Jason stared at me in shock. “How could you think that? I love you. Every single bit of you.” He placed a hand on my stomach. “You’re beautiful, Trevor. Don’t you know that by now?”
I wanted to believe him, and in that moment I did feel a little foolish, but old beliefs died hard. When he’d first told me I was his mate, he’d also admitted he was uncertain. He hadn’t wanted me to be his mate then. He’d probably wanted someone cute and slim. I shook my head again.
“Seriously, sweetheart,” he said, wiping ineffectually at my tears. “I don’t want you spending another second thinking anything about your weight. If the doctor thinks it’s fine, that’s all that matters. Because I love you no matter what.”
He went to wrap his arms around me, and if he was any normal sized man he wouldn’t have been able to—I was seriously that big—but Jason wasn’t just a normal man, he was a huge alpha, and he easily enveloped me in an embrace I eventually sank into. He kissed the top of my head, and I wanted to lift my face and have him kiss my lips, but just then my phone rang.
I pulled it out of my pocket, but though I didn’t recognize the number I answered anyway. “Hello?”
“Mr. Perry, this is the Timberwood Cove Police Department calling. We believe we’ve apprehended the other suspect. Can you come in and identify him?”
I felt the blood drain from my face. Jason snatched the phone from my hand, having heard the police officer. “Is that completely necessary?” he asked, his eyes on me, worried.
I didn’t hear the other side of the conversation since my hearing wasn’t quite as sensitive as Jason’s, but if the way he pressed his lips together was any indication, it was in fact necessary. I felt a cold chill race down my spine, and my chest felt tight. I really didn’t want to have to face the man who’d attacked me. Bonnie and Clyde came up and licked my hand, sensing my distress. I absently rubbed their ears, my attention on Jason as he ended the phone call.
“When do I have to go?” I asked him, knowing by the look on his face I definitely had to go.
“We need to go ahead and go now,” he said, squeezing my arm. “You think I’d let you face this alone?” He got right back on his phone. “Let me just call Keifer first.”
Stacia was supposed to come to our house this evening, but it looked like there would have to be a change of plans. After Jason made sure Keifer could keep her until tomorrow, I put Bonnie and Clyde in the crates Jason insisted we use when we weren’t home. Though they were huskies, I wasn’t prepared to leave them out in the garden in the middle of winter. They were indoor dogs for the most part, and I thought it was cruel to put them in an environment they weren’t used to. Anyway, it wasn’t very often we left them at home alone, and putting them in specially designed crates was something I’d compromised on when Jason explained he really wasn’t comfortable with them possibly jumping on our bed. I couldn’t see the issue, but I had to make some allowances in this relationship because that’s what couples did. Once they were secure, Jason and I headed straight for the police station. He held my hand and reassured me the entire ride that things would be fine. But I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling settling in my gut.
If my pregnancy had taken its toll on me physically and emotionally, the attack had taken a toll on me mentally. There wasn’t a single day were I didn’t worry about feeling safe. Jason had ceaselessly told me he would never let anything bad happen to me, but even with the extra security he’d put in place he couldn’t be one hundred percent certain an attack would never happen again.
As if reading my mind, Jason said, “This is a good thing. Now they’re in custody, we can all rest easily.”
I sure hoped so. I let Jason take the lead at the police station when we got there, and he introduced me to Steve Daniels. It was only when Jason told me Steve was a pack member did I remember seeing him around the homestead. He was at Kyle’s claiming ceremony.
“We were right,” Steve said as he led us to a room where I would have to take a look at a line-up. “If this is the guy. Which I’m sure it is. He’s a dragon shifter. Just like the other one.”
I glanced at Jason in surprise. I didn’t know that. Had he known? He didn’t look surprised at the news.
He nodded grimly. “I’m glad you found him.”
“We just need him identified, and we’ve got a solid case.”
My stomach lurched when we stopped in front of a metal door. Steve went in first, and Jason squeezed my hand as we followed. It was a small dark room with a two-way mirror, just like in the movies. My eyes went immediately to one of the men standing on the other side.
I was pretty sure I’d recognize that face if I didn’t see it for another fifty years.
“That’s him,” I said. “Number five.”
My knees felt weak, and Jason wrapped his arms around me. He held me tightly and whispered, “That’s it. It’s over. They’re both locked up now.”
Was it really that simple? I still felt the ball of dread in my stomach. Turning, I addressed Steve. “Do you think there will be any retaliation?” I had to know. It was one of the things I feared most. The first attacker had been picked up almost immediately. Jason had identified him because the police didn’t want my concussion to become a factor while the case went through court. While the second attacker had remained at large, I still had this fear deep down he’d come back. That it wasn’t actually over.
Jason adamantly shook his head. “You have nothing to worry about, Trevor. No one will get near my family, no matter what.”
I knew he believed it, and I wanted to believe him, but I wasn’t so sure. The entire ride home, my stomach churned. I rested my hands on it, trying to breathe and relax. To tell myself that Jason was right. We were headed home now, and it was over.
Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Nerves. Or… Wait, no. I frowned and pressed my hand harder against my stomach. Had that been? There it was again!
“Jason!” I said in a rush, grabbing his hand and pressing it to my belly. “The baby!”
“Are you okay?” he asked quickly, his eyes searching my face. But then his eyebrows went from drawn together to shooting toward his hairline. “Oh my god, is that—”
“The baby!” I nodded. “I can feel it moving.”
A smile as bright as the sun broke across Jason’s face, and my heart swelled with love. I kept thinking I couldn’t love this man more, but I kept being proven wrong. All my concerns from earlier about Jason loving me regardless of my weight were just stupid. He truly did love me for who I was. I could see it all over his face right now. Any lingering stress about the remaining danger from the robbery flew out of my mind as well. All that mattered was this. The family Jason and I were creating together.
We got home, giddy over feeling the baby move. “Let’s bring Stacia home,” I said. “I want her to feel this too.”
“Good idea.” Jason look out his keys and unlocked the front door. “I’ll call Keifer.” He pushed open the door and we stepped in. And froze.
I’d been so preoccupied with feeling the baby move that it hadn’t registered that the dogs had been barking at the front door. I took in the scene before me, my hand flying to my mouth.
Somehow, Bonnie and Clyde had escaped from their crates, where I knew I’d put them before we left, even if I had been distracted by the idea of going to the police station. But it wasn’t just that they’d escaped. They’d destroyed the house in the process.
“What the hell?” Jason stepped around me and took in the room, his body rigid, his face flushed in anger.
I couldn’t blame him because tables were overturned, papers scattered. A pair of shoes I’d bought Stacia were totally chewed up, and a cushion on the loveseat was completely ripped open, the stuffing all over the floor.
Jason stormed over to the dogs, grabbing them by the collars.
“Jason!” I said, rushing toward him. His eyes were full of fury. “You’re going to hurt them!” I stepped in between him and the dogs, not liking the look I saw on his face. He looked almost feral.
“Do you see what they did? This is unacceptable.”
My stomach dropped, the sensation making me feel sick. “Jason, something must have made them do this. They would never destroy things like this. You know that.” I was practically pleading with him. To hear me. To understand. To calm down. Because this was bad. Very bad. Jason tolerated the dogs as it was. But this? I didn’t know how he would handle it. From the looks of it, not well.
He angrily gestured around the room. “Did you even put them in their crates?”
The venom in his voice, directed at me, had me stepping back, reeling. He’d never spoken to me like that before. Now that was unacceptable.
“Of course I did,” I said indignantly, putting my hands on my hips, hoping I was right and I actually had. I remembered putting them in. Had I latched the doors, though? I couldn’t be sure.
“The house is still new to them,” I explained. “I’m sure they only did this because they were upset. When we left like that, it had to have made them frightened or uneasy.” I was grasping at straws. I didn’t understand it. It really wasn’t like Bonnie and Clyde. They’d never destroyed things.
“I won’t have this, Trevor,” he said, practically vibrating with tension. “I refuse to have your animals destroying my home.”
His home. My animals.
I felt his words like a stab to the heart. For the first time I wondered if this was going to work. I didn’t want to think along those lines. I’d refused to, despite knowing Jason hadn’t wanted the dogs in the first place. He’d taken them in since he knew we were an all or none kind of thing. But what if he was regretting that? What if he wasn’t just taking a long time to come around, what if he never did?
I didn’t know what to say. What to think. Except I wouldn’t abandon my dogs. No way. Jason would have to accept them. But what was I supposed to do if he wouldn’t?
I had my house. It was on the market but hadn’t sold yet. Just the thought of going back there alone made me want to dismiss the thought immediately. No. We were a family.
I looked at Jason again, and the expression on his face reminded me all too clearly of the way he used to glare at me over the fence between o
ur shops. My chest squeezed tightly, and I couldn’t stop the thoughts this time. What if this was something we couldn’t agree on? Jason hadn’t claimed me yet. Even though we were mates, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that we could end up not together.
Would I be able to raise this baby alone? No, stop.
I really didn’t want to go there. This entire day had been an emotional roller coaster. I couldn’t deal with anything else. Not tonight.
But as I watched Jason, his face contorted in anger, I was afraid I’d need to figure it out sooner rather than later.
13
Jason
I strode into the kitchen, needing to put some distance between Trevor and me before I said something I’d regret later. He didn’t follow.
I was so damn frustrated. Anger vibrated through my body. They’d gone too far this time, and I wasn’t sure I could take it anymore.
The last four months had been an adjustment for sure. I’d tried my best to not let the dogs get to me. To understand that they were part of Trevor’s life. That he loved them. But I’d gone so long hating dogs after what happened to me, and something like that wasn’t so easily turned off.
I reached into the fridge and grabbed a water bottle, twisting the top off and draining half of it in one go. I needed to think clearly here. But all I could think was this was just too much. They’d destroyed my personal property. Ruined my house.
I’d let them live here, getting in bed with Stacia, getting fur all over the place. I’d done it all for Trevor. But if I couldn’t trust them to behave, what was to say they wouldn’t snap one day? They might be dangerous after all, despite what Trevor thought about them.
I finished the water and tossed the bottle in the recycling bin, and then headed back to the living room. Trevor was still in there, moving around the place trying to straighten up.
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