by S. E. Akers
“I did it for you,” Tanner replied, sounding as politic as ever.
My head turned to face him. Oh, this I wanted to hear. “For me?” I repeated and propped myself up onto my elbows.
“Yes,” he confirmed, unabashed. “I wish I had a picture of the look on your face when you were watching Simone waste away,” Tanner remarked. “Your emotions were even worse. What tiny amount of anger you held turned into guilt the moment you learned Helaine had put them all up to it.”
At times like these, I despised when he was right.
“You were actually feeling guilt for someone who had just tried to kill you,” Tanner criticized. “That’s insane.”
I sat up and postured myself into a more strategic position. “It’s not insane,” I protested. “Simone wouldn’t have done it if Helaine hadn’t sworn to kill them — None of them would have.”
“Don’t be so sure,” he countered. “In the end, it was Simone’s choice. She was given an ultimatum, and she caved to the threat. It was all on her.” A loud stream of air shot out of his flaring nostrils. “If you had known they were scheming your death, would you have killed them on the spot? Any of them? Whipped out your wand and taken the first slice?”
“Yes,” I answered, though I was well aware of my tone’s dwindling pitch.
Tanner jumped all over it too. “You wouldn’t have waved your wand the first time — at ANY of them! The only reason you had to hate her until over an hour ago was because of Bea’s feelings towards her sister. That’s it. Helaine had done nothing personal to you, and that heart of yours simply wouldn’t have allowed it.” Tanner grunted. “You were so stressed at the thought of what those women might think about you before you even stepped into that dining room!”
I started to mount a defense when he threw up his hand. “Save it — please!” he ordered. “Wicked comes in many forms, and the most dangerous souls aren’t wrapped in scales and they don’t breathe fire. Their claws are well hidden. That’s your biggest threat — not any of the creatures here or out there, and I’m afraid if you don’t learn this now, your emotions will be your greatest downfall.”
“What’s wrong with having compassion?” I argued.
“There is nothing wrong with having compassion. That’s part of what being a Talisman is about . . . what being a human is about,” he corrected. “But yours tends to get blindsided by that damn guilt-trip your heart is always on. You need to grow up and stop acting . . .” Tanner stopped abruptly and turned away.
I shot to my feet. “Stop acting like what?” I demanded. “A little girl?”
Tanner lifted his head. “So naïve,” he clarified.
“Bullshit,” I countered. “That’s not what you were going to say. I might not be able to read your mind or feel your emotions, but I can see it in your eyes.” I started to head out of the chamber until a thought halted my turn.
“Why did you even let me take a drink? From a cup with poison lining the rim, mind you?” I demanded. “You had so much confidence in that Kordthistle, but you’ve purposely kept me away from the chimera for weeks? PLEASE . . . Explain the difference to me.”
Tanner sprang to his feet. “I was totally in control of that situation,” he defended.
“So you have to be ‘in control’ before you have complete faith in anything?” I submitted, brow arched. “Or anyone?”
Tanner remained quiet, but judging from the way his temples were throbbing, he may as well have had a big fat “YES” written in marker right under his widow’s peak. Even it looked like a daggone arrow pointing out the thumping admission plastered across his forehead.
“Yes,” I snapped, confirming it for him. “You were in complete control of the situation. When Silas failed to dot the i’s, you swept right in and crossed that t.”
Tanner stood there with his face looking as vague as ever. I couldn’t detect the slightest rile or wound from my dig, regrettably. Then all of a sudden, a tingly sensation started creeping through me, filling my insides with a cheery warmth that rivaled a kid’s Christmas morning.
“Whoa!” I jumped back, eyes exploding. “Are you trying to BLISS ME?” I charged angrily. “AGAIN?”
Who needed an arrow when the sharp point of a finger can hit its mark? The Amethyst Talisman’s emotional radar-detector must have sensed the heights my rage was ascending because he withdrew its effects immediately.
“You don’t listen, DO YOU?” I scowled. My fiery stare fell to the floor, head shaking. What a messed-up, sneaky stunt to pull! Especially after the other night! Who the hell feeds a bull and then wipes its mouth with a damn red napkin?
I whipped up my head. “Let me say this, so you’ll hear me THIS TIME,” I snapped. “No more sneaky home-remedies . . . for me or my mood! And the next time I need something for an ailment, just serve it to me in a glass. I doubt it’ll have the same aftertaste.” I stormed towards the door. Talk about spittin’ nails mad. I could have popped off enough rounds to snuff out every daggone glowing totem in here like an AK-47.
One more nagging thought had my feet glued to the threshold, unable to escape. I gripped both sides of the doorway. “If you were so ‘in control’ of the situation, then why didn’t you take a drink of yours?” I called back, never looking his way.
“Because those stones are only yours to claim,” he stated, sounding as equally rote as his lectures.
Convenient. I turned around and shot him a fiery glare. “So I’ve been told,” I grumbled and then marched a swift path to my bedroom. He followed me down too, which really ticked me off — his cave-basement or not. And if things couldn’t get any worse, I ran smack into his handy sidekick before I’d made it to my bedroom door.
Tanner charged past him without a word and continued down into the depths of the cave. He was probably headed to that damn secret place of his that he snuck off to every-freaking-night. I leaned over and watched him until he disappeared from my view. Still not knowing what he was doing down there, well that just pissed me off even more!
“You wouldn’t be feeling so agitated if you had simply taken my advice about the lipstick,” he chastised.
“Oh, so this is MY FAULT?” I questioned.
“Yes,” Silas shrugged and then continued trotting up the stairs. “What else was Professor Grey supposed to do?”
The grunt that shot out of my mouth had my own ears ringing. “Oh, I don’t know? How about telling me THE TRUTH?” I yelled.
“Truth is a sticky thing, Ms. Wallace,” Silas replied amid his steps. “You should be well aware of that with the secrets you keep.”
How do you know about any of MY SECRETS, I raged silently and then bolted into to my bedroom. I take it back… I hate him! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I rushed back into the stairwell and yelled up, “AND STAY OUT OF MY ROOM!” I issued the door an angry, chamber-rattling slam and then flung myself onto the bed — and I’ll be damned if my heated plop didn’t cause the framing to give way. I ended up crashing onto the daggone floor, mattress first. Still bouncing, I turned my glare towards the door. Oh, it was still securely on its hinges.
My legs exploded into a couple of uncontrollable feisty kicks. Ughhh! WHAT THE HELL IS HE!
CHAPTER 13
My stare hovered over the empty dining chair at the opposite end of the table and eventually drifted throughout the space. It was hard to focus on any particular spot for too long, what with the room feeling as bone-chilling as a haunted funeral parlor run by the Grim Reaper himself. All it lacked was a coffin.
Having another warm body present would’ve been nice, I brooded quietly.
Tanner had contacted me telepathically last night with explicit orders to sleep in, and that breakfast would be at eight sharp. So imagine how awkward I felt when he never showed. Naturally, I exercised my biologically-blessed right and began reading a barrage of reasons into his absence. In the end, my gut went with the most logical ones: he was attempting to avoid another argument or possibly quelling the one from last night. I still co
uldn’t believe he’d tried blissing me — AGAIN. I planned on suggesting he wear his larimar at all times so that he wouldn’t be so daggone deaf.
Yeah, I was still kind of PO’d about that…among other things.
Silas stepped into the dining room just as I’d finished off my plate. “I see we’ve managed to scarf down another meal, despite the gruesome events of last night,” he remarked. “Seeing someone melt like a drippy candle would certainly ruin my appetite, especially in this setting.” He pointed to the cold, chair-less spot where Simone had sat. Now there was something the hands-of-the-house couldn’t mend, scrub clean, or magically reproduce. “Kudos all around to the successes that staunch stomach of steel brings. Maybe it could serve as a role model for the rest of you?”
Why NOW? I turned to him, my eyes heavy. “Tell me, Silas. Do the muscles work like a pressure relief valve?” I posed, motioning to my own jaw. “All that hot air just has to shoot out, or you’ll explode?”
Silas waved his hand. “Why there is no forced effort at all,” he chuckled. “Not when someone makes it so easy.”
Excuse me for having feelings… I tossed my soiled napkin down onto the dirty plate without lobbing another comeback, throwing any snide gazes, or even hoisting the first mentally-discreet saluting finger. No more anything…of any kind. I just wanted him to clear my plate and leave—right-freaking-now—before I corrected him about how truly wrong he was. I would rather him think I wasn’t haunted by the image of Simone’s gory death playing over and over in my head LIKE IT HAD all throughout breakfast and probably would at every meal from here on out. Thank goodness I didn’t care for ketchup on anything. Gross.
I’d thought long and hard about what Tanner had said last night, and no, I wouldn’t have killed them. I wouldn’t have killed any of them if I’d known what they were planning — including Helaine. I was already struggling to keep a hold on my positive outlook, desperate not to slip into another funk, and totally freaking obsessed with availing SOMETHING without anything else blowing up in my face. I didn’t want to worry about abandoning my compassion on top of all that. Yeah, I’d cleared my plate, but I had to harden myself to do it, and that bothered me. I didn’t want my heart turning into stone because of things I allowed to happen or chose to do myself. That was the part of claiming the diamond I found troubling. I had to be as indifferent as it was — as The Veil was. Tanner’s declaration about “my emotions being my greatest threat” had stirred up something else, a past diamond-issued vision I revisited in-between my tosses and turns. It was the same one I’d had in the back room of Stowell’s Jewelry, the one where Adamas had spoken directly to me. Out of all the things he’d said, it was his direct plea to “guard my heart” that had struck the foulest of chords. I’d been raised by my father to be good natured and considerate of others, to value their feelings as much as my own. I could literally feel the pressure bearing down on me like the slow squeeze of a vise. I didn’t want to change, not my heart. I liked it just the way it was — full of compassion. But the truth of the matter couldn’t be ignored. There were people who wanted to kill me and no, not all of them were the physical embodiment of monsters, but they were out there sharpening their claws just the same. I needed to start playing my cards a heck of a lot closer to my chest in regards to everyone. I feared that the most.
Silas was still standing idly by. I wasn’t sure of his present tactic — still as a mouse avoiding detection or mountain lion waiting to pounce. Either way, I couldn’t take another gritty round, so I quietly rose from the table.
“Professor Grey wants me to escort you outside,” he remarked and then pulled my sunglasses out of his pocket. They were the ones I kept tucked inside my purse back in my bedroom — swiped out of my sacred girly-domain that lay in the very same room I’d ordered him to stay out of just last night. Apparently he needed a larimar too. Maybe there was a legitimate reason they were only issued to men after all?
I snatched them out of his hands, totally set to combust. Talk about a major mood-shift.
The house steward cut me off before I could sound the first gripe. “My apologies for the intrusive deed. I thought they might be of some use.”
My face froze on the spot. Was he actually expressing a twinge of regret or patching the hole he’d dug with quicksand? I couldn’t tell.
I may have opted for the higher road, but my steps were wary. “That’s all right . . . this time,” I added, not wanting another repeat invasion.
Silas nodded and then motioned his hand towards the hall. “This way.”
I followed right behind him, half-wondering what Tanner had planned and half-thinking about our argument. I certainly didn’t want him bringing up anything to do with potion-laced kisses, especially if his words took the form of an apology. How humiliating… Now I was really grateful for the shades. Something flagged Silas’ attention as we entered the foyer. He pressed his shiny loafers against the floor, and after a squeaky pivot, he took a huffy step towards a section of the wood-paneled wall. My eyes flooded with embarrassment as he stroked his fingers over the deep scratches I’d dug during my kordthistle-coating.
“I do believe one of those bitties must have snuck a cat in here,” he remarked as he felt out the extent of the damage, giving the spots several fierce rubs. “It’s like the little critter was digging for gold.”
“Shouldn’t we be going?” I urged hastily.
Silas rose in a testy sweep and then motioned for me to follow with a careless wave. “Hmph! Why do I even bother tending to this place?” he groused aloud. The back of his head rocked back and forth with several disdainful shakes. Even that proud ole peacock strut of his seemed more perturbed than plucky. Good thing he didn’t know that it was this kitty’s claws who’d actually pissed him off.
The sun was streaking brilliantly through the clouds and the sky couldn’t have looked any bluer. Now that I could feel some positive juju brewing, all I needed was some clarifying information to formally bless it.
“So what does Professor Grey have planned for today?” I asked as I slipped on my shades.
Silas closed the door. “I haven’t the foggiest idea. I was simply told to bring you around to the back shed after breakfast for some fresh air.” The house steward directed me towards a cobblestone path that led around the house. “Come along.”
I followed two paces behind, quietly fretting. I couldn’t get his SECRETS crack out of my head. I’d thought about that little spanking on and off all last night as well, and yeah…most of the daggone morning. Karma may be a bitch, but paranoia was a wicked & relentless nag. Since we were alone and it seemed like the perfect opportunity for a grilling, I swallowed my nervousness and went for a direct inquisition.
“So tell me, Silas,” I began. “What secrets do you think you know about me?”
Silas laughed out a breath. “It seems enough to rattle your chain,” he assured.
“Like what, exactly?” I countered, calling his hand.
“Do you truly wish to pursue disclosure, Ms. Wallace? Because I assure you that I am not bluffing. You know it’s not in me to lie,” he reminded.
I wasn’t about to back off. “Take your best shot.”
“I know your best friend’s current address is a coven,” he popped off casually.
My steps came to such an abrupt halt I almost tripped. Shit.
The house steward resumed his course while I hung back to process his bombshell, swaying in the aftershocks. It was possible that he could have eavesdropped on one of our conversations, though he did have some telepathic abilities. I wasn’t sure if they worked like mine or not. The thought of him being able to reach inside my head and pluck something out of it like an apple from a freaking barrel was alarming on so many levels. Surely he could snatch hold of something to do with the amethyst containing Katie’s parents’ memories? Or even Damiec’s involvement? Or me trading Katie for his phantom crystal lifeline?
Crap!
I rushed to catch up with him. “
Does Tanner know?”
Silas turned to me with a puzzled look. “Why would Professor Grey know? He’s never asked.”
“And if he did?” I posed nervously.
He gave his shoulders an impassive shrug. “Then I would have to supply him with the desired information.”
My gaze crashed to the ground. Of course you would… I shouldn’t have expected anything else, not from him, not after singing like a canary about the faeries the other night. As flattened and low as I felt, I was seriously hoping a tire pump would be lying at the end of all these cobblestones, because he’d managed to suck all the air out of mine.
“So you just spy on people and collect information for kicks?” I posed.
“Only when I find something that fascinates me, and you, Ms. Wallace do fascinate me — to a certain degree,” he clarified. “But when I do find something that kindles my curiosity, I like to study it. Get to know the ins and outs of its existence. What makes it tick, if you know what I mean?”
Do I ever… “Like a lab rat,” I blasted.
Silas refused to acknowledge my snarky assessment. I clenched my fists to fight off a hostile tremble. I’d honestly never felt so violated in my life, and I used to wear a locket around my neck that secretly held a cursed onyx! Ughhh… My skin was actually crawling.
I jumped ahead of him. “You think you know all about me?”
“You are an open book in many ways, Ms. Wallace, like most unworldly young ladies. Your drives are simple and you exhibit your emotions freely. That’s the uninteresting part. That’s the part I like to peel back and dissect. That’s where the wealth of what fascinates me lies. The part that fuels your strength and stokes the fire that runs in your veins. It’s the part of you that both adores and detests the diamond equally. The part you struggle with every day. The very part that will tell me how your tale will play out.” Silas took a step closer, eyeing me intensely. “Are you deserving of the wand’s power and are you dedicated enough to accomplish what your predecessor failed to do?”