by Teresa Hill
She fell into the pleasure, limply against him, sated, exhausted, his heart pounding beneath her ear, his body still throbbing with pleasure.
So, she thought, drifting off to sleep, this is what she’d wanted all this time, what had been missing, what had seemed completely out of reach.
No wonder it made people crazy, knowing there was pleasure like this to be had in the world. Now that she knew, what would she do to keep it, to make sure she never lost this with him?
Chapter Fourteen
Wyatt sat at his desk the next day, having gone to the office because he hadn’t really known what else to do with himself. He’d woken up late, hadn’t even turned on his alarm clock last night.
He’d been too preoccupied to think of anything else.
When he’d woken up, Jane had already been gone, leaving him a note in the kitchen saying she’d gone into the office, that she’d see him later.
So he’d shown up at his office, too, only to have Lucy fuss over him, pouring out sympathy and sadness of her own—she’d been a big fan of Leo—and telling him that surely he didn’t need to be here today.
He supposed he could go to Remington Park and clean out Leo’s room, if the staff hadn’t already done that. He could pick up Leo’s things and take them…He didn’t know where, didn’t want to think of that.
There was the will to probate. He could get started on that, but again, really didn’t want to. He was putting off the exes as long as he could, and he was just all out of sorts, unsettled, lost.
Lucy walked in, took one look at him gazing out the window, obviously not doing anything, and said, “Go home.”
“I don’t want to go home,” he said.
“Why not?”
“Because…Jane might be there.”
Lucy gave him a funny look. “I thought you liked Jane. I like Jane. I like her a lot.”
“Of course I like Jane,” he said. “I just…Well…I think she might think we’re living together.”
That took Lucy by complete surprise. “You let her move in? You actually let a woman move in with you? Wyatt, you don’t live with women. It’s one of your absolute rules.”
“I know. I remember. It’s just…” He shrugged. What was there to say? “It’s Jane.”
“So, she just barged in with her things—”
“No things. Just her. And the clothes she brought back from Las Vegas, the ones her grandmother and Gladdy bought her. She looks so sexy in those things.”
Lucy sat down in the big, cushy leather chair opposite his desk. Clearly she thought this was going to take a while. “You’re saying, the two of you have just been together since you got back from Vegas?”
“Since we went to Vegas,” he said. “Four…Is it four? Yeah. Four days. And nights.”
“But, you never invited her to live with you? She just—”
“Arranged a single room for us in Vegas, and then when we got back, came home with me. She’s been there ever since.”
“Did you give her a key?”
“No,” he said.
“Did you ask her to stay?”
“No.” She just stayed, taking care of him, not wanting him to be alone. Wyatt frowned.
“So, she feels bad that you lost Leo, and she’s giving you sympathy sex,” Lucy figured out, looking pleased with her deduction.
“Well…yeah. I mean, not just that, but…yeah.”
“I bet you’ve never had to resort to sympathy sex in your life, Wyatt. So it’s not surprising you wouldn’t understand it.”
“No. I really don’t understand it,” he confessed, hoping Lucy could explain. She loved setting him straight on things he supposedly didn’t understand about women, loved reminding him he didn’t know everything about the opposite sex, no matter how sure he was that he did.
So maybe she could make sense of this. Mostly, how much he liked it, even if it was sympathy sex. Because it felt…just…like…way more than he ever wanted to feel…about anything. But he liked it, and he sure didn’t want to give it up.
He wanted sympathy sex and every other kind of sex there was with Jane. It was just…Did she think they were living together now? Was she going to be there, whenever he got home? In his bed every night, until he asked her to leave?
And could he just ask her to leave? He certainly didn’t want to hurt her, and he didn’t want anyone else to ever hurt her, either. She was Jane. She was sweet and kind and funny and adorable.
“Okay, here it is,” Lucy said. “She feels bad for you. She likes you. She wants you to feel better, so she gives you sympathy sex.”
“I don’t think Jane does that,” he guessed. That’s the part that puzzled him, worried him, gave him an added little thrill at having her in his bed. He doubted Jane had ever given anyone sympathy sex in her life.
“You just said she’d been doing it with you for the last four nights,” Lucy reminded him.
“Yeah, but…”
“Wyatt, are you trying to tell me it’s different with Jane? That she’s different, and that what you have is more?”
“I don’t know. How am I supposed to know that?”
Lucy was laughing at him. Not to his face, but he could tell, inside she was laughing. She often did that, too.
“What?” he asked.
“Is she going to be there when you get home today?”
“She said she was.”
“Okay, but here’s the real question. Do you want her to be there when you get home today?”
“I guess, I’ve gotten used to having her around.” There, he’d admitted it.
“Her, or the sex?”
“Both, I guess.”
“You should think about that,” Lucy advised. “And I think you’re actually going to have to talk to her about this. You do talk every now and then, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“But if you do decide to talk to her about this, you can’t just ask her what she wants or whether she thinks you’re living together. You have to be ready to tell her what you want. Do you have any idea what you want?”
Jane, he thought. Just Jane.
The way they were now. Nothing more, nothing less. Just this. Jane in his bed, Jane in his apartment. Sweet, generous, sexy Jane.
“Wow,” Lucy said, when he didn’t say a word. “We’re in brand-new territory here, aren’t we?”
Wyatt let himself welcome Jane back into his home that evening. They ate the take-out dinner she’d brought with her, and then hustled off to bed once again. He did his absolute best to make sure she wasn’t thinking about how sorry she was for him while they were there. And then, when she was curled up naked and sated by his side, he finally said what he had to say.
“Jane, what are we doing?”
“Sleeping. Wyatt, I have to sleep sometimes.”
“I know, but…I mean, us, here, together. What are we doing?”
“Nothing for you to get nervous about,” she reassured him.
“Are we…living together?” he asked.
“No. I don’t do that. I always tell women they’re asking for trouble when they drift into a situation like that, with nothing spelled out up front, no clear expectations, no promises, no agreements. Women have absolutely no protection that way, no security. It’s a terrible idea. I would never do that. You don’t do that, either. Do you?”
“No. I don’t.”
“There. See? Neither one of us does that. So we’re definitely not living together. We’re just…spending some time together. For now. Because things are still hard and people shouldn’t be alone in hard times. They should have someone with them, someone to help them.”
“And when things…aren’t so hard? Then what?”
“Then, we’ll do something else,” she offered. “We’ll sit down and talk about it, and we’ll decide. On something else.”
“Okay,” he agreed.
That made sense. Perfect sense. Jane was such a sensible woman. And it meant they didn’t have to decide on anyth
ing right then, and they could still keep doing this, Jane here with him, in his bed.
That was perfect for now.
Jane could no longer deny it.
She was in trouble.
And when she was in trouble, she went to Gram and Gladdy. She didn’t want to, because Gram had just lost Leo, and even though the relationship was incredibly brief, the man hadn’t even been dead for a week, and Gram was in mourning. Maybe Gladdy, too. Jane still didn’t understand that whole relationship, except that both women seemed as close as ever, and neither one seemed mad at the other.
How could that be?
If Jane found out Wyatt was seeing someone else, she’d be devastated. She might even resort to violence again, and this time, she wouldn’t pull her punches at the last minute, like she had with Leo.
Poor Leo.
If he had truly loved Gram, only to have so little time with her…That would be awful, terrible and so unfair. Why would anyone find someone like that, only to lose him hours after marrying him? It seemed too cruel to even contemplate. If he’d loved her. If the Gray men were even capable of that particular emotion.
Jane got to Gram and Gladdy’s cottage. Amy was there at work in the kitchen. She dropped what she was doing and came over to give Jane a big hug.
“It’s just so awful,” Amy said. “Max is devastated. He’s never known anyone who died. I didn’t even know he knew Mr. Gray that well, but I guess they’d talked a few times, when Max was with your grandmother or Gladdy, and Max really liked him. And your poor grandmother. She’s trying to be so brave, but…I think she really loved him, Jane.”
Jane agreed. “I think she must have.”
“We cleaned out his room the other day. Your grandmother and Gladdy wanted to do it themselves, but I thought they should have help, so I went, too.”
“Thank you, Amy. I should have thought of that myself—his room. I would have helped them.”
“It’s okay. It was hard, but we got it done. We stored his personal belongings in some boxes in your grandmother’s closet. She was hoping you could take them to his nephew.”
“Of course,” Jane agreed. “I’ll do that when I leave today.”
Amy said she had to get back to the kitchen. “I’m making raspberry lemon bars. They were Mr. Gray’s favorite. You should take some home with you. I’ve been baking way too much lately. I always bake when I’m sad.”
Jane said she would take some lemon bars to Wyatt, then went to find her grandmother and Gladdy. They were in Gram’s room, tending to a box in the middle of the floor. Gram was holding up a photo, gazing at it lovingly and adding it to a stack of other things spread out across her bed.
Both women looked up when she came in. She hugged them tightly, thinking she might never get enough of being close to them this way, especially when faced with the possibility of losing them one day, as Wyatt had lost Leo. Gram wouldn’t let Jane go, when Jane would have slipped away from her hug. She took both of Jane’s hands in hers and held on.
“Darling, you look like you have something on your mind. Like you need your Gram and Gladdy.” She tugged her over to the couch. “Come sit and tell us all about it.”
Jane sat between the two women, smiled, took a breath and tried for all the world to play it off like it was nothing, when what she really wanted to do was burst into tears.
“I think,” she began. “Well, I’m afraid…may be…probably…that I’m in love with Wyatt.”
And then she did burst into tears.
They fussed over her, held her, patted her back, wiped away her tears, put determined smiles on their faces, which was something they always did, even when life seemed to be most bleak. And she was glad for their comfort, their concern and to have them close now, to still have them in her life. But none of it really changed things.
“I promised myself I wouldn’t fall for him,” she said. “I promised, and I don’t know how it happened. He was just here, and he was nice and so sweet to his uncle. He took care of Leo the way I…well, the way I hope I take care of you both.”
“You do, darling,” Gram said.
“Of course you do,” Gladdy added.
“And he seemed so smart and reasonable and gorgeous and sexy, and it was like the whole thing just sneaked up on me, when I wasn’t looking. One minute, we were chasing the three of you to Vegas, and the next, Leo was dying. Wyatt was devastated. Just lost and so sad and alone. I couldn’t stand it. I had to help him. I just couldn’t leave him like that. And so I…”
“Comforted him?” Gladdy guessed.
“Yes. I did. I mean, I didn’t set out to do that, but then…I had to. I had to do something. And not just something. I would have done anything to try to make him feel better, because my heart was breaking for him. I just couldn’t leave him. I still haven’t left him, not since it happened. I don’t think I can.”
“You’re living together?” Gram asked, while Jane took a breath, finally.
“No. I don’t do that. That’s really not a good idea. Nothing spelled out, nothing agreed upon, nothing to keep you from getting hurt when things go wrong, and they always go wrong, eventually. But it’s…it’s…” Jane started bawling again. “Okay, yes, I am. I’m living with him, even through I swore to him that we’re not, because I don’t do that. And he doesn’t do that, either.”
Gladdy frowned. “Jane, darling, you’re either living with the man or not. I’m not asking a philosophical question.”
“Yes, I’m there. With him. I’ve been with him since we got to Vegas that first night. I knew it wasn’t the smartest thing to do, once I got scared and really thought about it. Because we haven’t talked about anything—except that we swear we’re not living together, which I know is ridiculous, believe me. But we actually said that. We claimed we aren’t living together, and yet, we are. It’s such a bad idea. I know that. I teach women that all the time. It’s just…when it came right down to it, even knowing that, I couldn’t leave him alone.”
Jane had to stop to breathe and to wipe her eyes with the tissue Gladdy handed her. It was all so awful.
“Gladdy, none of it seemed as important as Wyatt not being alone. He was more important to me than being smart and protecting myself.”
“Oh, Jane!” they said together, beaming at her in unison, looking as if she’d given them the world.
“You love him,” Gram said.
“Yes, obviously, you do,” Gladdy agreed. “This is so wonderful!”
“No, it’s not!” she told them. “He doesn’t love me! He’s just sad and lonely and hurting, and I’m…I’m…I’m afraid that to him, being with me is better than being alone right now.”
And then she sobbed some more, not even trying to stop.
“It looks like I’m truly one of the Carlton women after all,” Jane cried. “I’ve fallen in love with a man who’s going to break my heart. I know he is.”
Wyatt went shopping after work. He normally left this sort of thing—buying presents for women—to Lucy, who had excellent taste. But this he wanted to pick out himself. This was for Jane.
He’d decided she couldn’t possibly look any better than she did in a lace camisole, those perfect, small breasts of hers cupped so delicately in the thin satin and lace that hugged her body, covering her but not really covering her. His heart started thudding just thinking about how she looked, how she felt, in those things. And he wanted her to have more of them. Plus, he figured what he bought her, he’d get to take off her, so this was a classic win-win situation.
And it was just lingerie, nothing outrageously expensive, nothing he thought Jane would object to a man purchasing for her. He felt perfectly safe giving her this, and he very much wanted to give her something, some little thing, when she’d given him so much.
So he went to the lingerie store, coming out with a huge black box with a fancy gold ribbon on it, maybe going a tad overboard. But it was for Jane.
He put it on the coffee table back at his apartment, so she’d s
ee it as soon as she came in and sat down, and then waited none-too-patiently.
Where was she?
It was almost seven. She was always here before seven, usually by six. Neither one of them had been working long hours this week.
He felt a little uneasy.
She was coming here, wasn’t she? Even if they weren’t living together? She wouldn’t just not show up here without telling him. Would she? Because it wasn’t as if they had any kind of agreement about these things, but still…It was Jane. She wouldn’t desert him without a word.
Hard as it was to admit, he trusted her. He was starting to count on her, to enjoy knowing that when he got home at night, she would be waiting, or if not, that she would be there soon.
Wyatt drummed his fingertips on the coffee table, right next to the big black box of lingerie, looking at the clock once again, fighting the urge to pace.
He was being ridiculous. He knew it.
She was fine. Everything was fine, and she’d be here any minute. He was worrying about nothing. Old habits, and all. His mother had walked out on him and his father without a word one day. The only stepmother he’d ever let himself get close to had done the same thing. His own father had often walked out the same way, and Wyatt had always ended up with Leo. Leo had been there for him and now Leo was gone.
It didn’t mean Jane would go anywhere. Intellectually, he knew that. But old habits died hard. That feeling—of expecting people to just disappear, to be the same as every other person in his life had been—seemed to have a life of its own inside of him.
God, he hated this. Hated it.
He finally heard her at the door at seven-fifteen, pulling it open before she could, telling himself he was being ridiculous, telling himself, of course, she was here, and she was fine.
Except…she wasn’t.
Clearly, she’d been crying. Her face was splotchy, her eyes red-rimmed.
“Jane?” He grabbed her hands the moment she set her car keys and her briefcase down on the floor. “What’s wrong?”