by Sarah Kleck
“Oh,” Jared said, disappointed, which made my resolve waver even more. “Of course, that comes first,” he said a moment later with the disappointment in his voice giving way to his usual coolness. “First work, then pleasure.”
I nodded, smiling. Of course, I couldn’t imagine anything more wonderful than spending an evening with Jared, but what good would that be if I flunked the first trimester and wasn’t allowed to continue going to school?
“How about tomorrow?” Jared suggested after correctly interpreting my mood.
“Oh, that’d be wonderful,” I said, delighted. The prospect immediately improved my mood. The thought alone was enough to make me euphoric. If I could have it my way, I’d be with Jared 24/7. It still hurt each time I let him go. It almost felt like the dream I had the night Jared confided his secret to me. Pain shot through me when I remembered how Jared smiled, turned, and disappeared among the trees, leaving me alone in the lake in the woods. I swallowed with difficulty when it became clear that I probably wouldn’t survive should he ever leave me. My heart would probably stop beating. But . . . no—he would never leave me. After all, there was this bond between us Enid had spoken of in the woods. That ancient, magical bond, which had spanned entire generations. I frowned. The thought should have consoled me a little, but suddenly a nagging thought forced itself upon me again: Could it be that Jared only loved me because of it? Would he still want to be with me if this bond didn’t exist?
“What’s the matter?” Jared asked—he didn’t miss a thing. “What are you thinking about?” he asked just as we arrived at my dorm.
“I . . . ,” I started, not knowing what to say.
Jared looked at me, concerned. “Something’s making you sad, I can feel it.” He took my hand and kissed my fingers. “Please tell me what’s weighing on you.”
“I’m worried you’ll suddenly disappear again,” I said without daring to look at him.
Jared placed his finger under my chin to lift my face. He smiled. “To keep away from you would kill me,” he said as if it were an inviolable fact.
I gasped.
“It almost drove me crazy during the weeks I tried to keep away from you. What makes you think I could just disappear?” Jared asked while kissing the back of my hand again.
“Well, it’s . . . I asked myself . . . if there really is this ancient magical bond between us . . .”
“Yes?”
I took a deep breath. “I’m asking myself if you . . . are in love with me because of me or if this bond is . . . well . . . forcing you to feel that way, and you can’t help it?”
There, now it’s out in the open!
Jared raised his eyebrows. “I could ask you the same,” he said. “I mean, if this bond were forcing me to fall in love with you, surely it’d work the other way around, too.”
I frowned. I hadn’t looked at it that way.
“For my part, I’m pretty sure I’d have fallen in love with you even entirely without magic,” he continued. “I mean, look at you!” he said, taking me into his arms. “In the end, it doesn’t matter to me.” He stroked my cheek with his fingers. “Whether this bond contributed a part or not, I thank providence for leading you to me.” He gently placed his lips on mine. I couldn’t help but return his passionate kiss.
He’s probably right. Even if we found each other through magic, it didn’t make a difference—what was important was that we’d found each other, and our love was real.
Again the images of my dream shot through my head. How much I’d wished Jared would come to me in the water, how happy it would have made me . . . “I dreamt of you,” I said, embarrassed.
Jared laughed, gently took my chin between his thumb and index finger, then looked into my eyes. “I dream of you every night.”
CHAPTER 16
Jared and I spent a wonderful evening downtown. First, he invited me for dinner—when I wanted to pay, he brushed it off with a smile—then we went for a walk by the Thames. While we walked hand in hand on the way back to my dorm, incessantly talking about everything under the sun, I watched Jared. I still couldn’t believe it. Everything about him seemed perfect. I crinkled my nose. How did we look together as a couple?
Okay, I knew I wasn’t exactly ugly—in school there had been a few guys who would have liked to have gone out with me. Probably because of my long blonde hair—apparently most guys like long hair—but next to Jared . . . I cast another longing glance at him with a sigh . . . Next to Jared I just looked like a little gray mouse. I was too thin, too pale, and I walked around with such dark rings under my eyes most of the time that people either thought I was ill or hadn’t slept for several nights, which, if I thought about it, really did happen sometimes. And since nobody had ever been interested in me like this before Jared, I didn’t have any experience to draw on in matters of relationships or even sexuality. Nil, nothing, nada! I was totally green at nineteen years old. And the way girls adored Jared openly and even tried to stake a claim on him, as Madison did every time we met, I was certain he wasn’t a blank page. Though I found this thought a little painful, I tried to get used to it. After all, he was twenty-one, and it was perfectly normal to have had some experience. If anything, I was the abnormal one. To describe me as a late bloomer would be the understatement of the year!
Suddenly, Jared took my arm, stopped in his tracks, and turned to me. “If you don’t tell me this instant what you’re thinking about, I’ll go crazy!”
There was no point in lying to him; he’d sense it if I didn’t tell the truth. Still, it was terribly embarrassing to talk about. After all, we were only getting to know each other, and if I told him right away I was still a—I barely even managed to think the word—virgin, he’d maybe . . . He’d probably just think I was strange.
“Yes?” Jared said, bent forward, and waited for my answer.
“I . . . I . . . Oh, I don’t know.”
“What’s it about?” His tone was sensitive, and he moved my hair out of my face. I stared embarrassed at my hands as he gave me a moment to think.
“Is there a reason why Madison is a total bitch to every girl who comes close to you?” Or, rather, had been before she disappeared without a trace—with my amulet.
Jared stiffened, then sighed. “She thinks she’s in love with me. And . . . I’m not totally innocent in this.”
I looked at him questioningly. What was that supposed to mean? A dark premonition made me shudder. My chest felt constricted. Oh no! Not her! Please not her!
“I slept with her—once,” he said sheepishly and exhaled.
I started to feel sick. As lovely as the evening had been, with this confession he’d destroyed it all.
“She’d been after me forever and one evening, after a really shitty day, she caught me off guard . . . I’d had a little to drink and . . . It was a mistake.”
I tasted bile. The idea of Madison . . . in bed with . . . him. I suddenly felt like crying. Jared tried to hug me, but I didn’t want him to touch me.
“Evelyn . . . please don’t,” he said with a burdened voice as I struggled free of his embrace. A sad expression entered his dark-blue eyes. The thought of how close Jared and Madison had been caused me to grimace with disgust. “Evelyn, please,” he said more emphatically and attempted to hold my hand, which I instantly pulled away. “It didn’t mean anything, I . . .”
I snorted. “Maybe not to you! But some things have become clear to me now,” I said as I recalled my encounters with Madison. I would have liked to run away to cry my eyes out somewhere in a quiet place, but since we were putting our cards on the table, I might as well ask the next question. Then I’d be done with it. “Madison wasn’t the only one, was she?”
Jared’s eyes widened, and he swallowed and shook his head.
“How many were there?” My attempt to sound casual failed miserably.
“I’m not sure,” J
ared said, scratching the back of his head. “God, it’s not like I’m keeping track.” He appeared uncomfortable as he rubbed his chin in embarrassment.
Tough luck—you wanted to know the score! I thought cynically, leaving him to stew.
“Don’t make such a big deal out of it, Evelyn. I’m twenty-one. Anyway, that’s all in the past—I admit I’d like to undo some of it, but I can’t.” He raised his hand to stroke my cheek. “Please don’t be upset with me about it. I didn’t know you then, and after all, you also had a life before you got to know me.”
I raised my eyebrows. When I saw he’d understood, I averted my eyes, embarrassed. This was so humiliating!
He gasped. “You’re still a . . . ?”
“Yes!” I said, louder than intended.
His eyes widened. “I . . . had no idea. Sorry.” Disbelief resonated in his words, but there was something else there. You’d think part of him liked what he heard.
“How could you?” I said, irritated, stomping angrily up the stone stairs to the entrance of my dorm. “Good night, Jared!” I said when I’d opened the door and got ready to slam it in his face.
“Evelyn, please.” He held me back and put his foot in the door. How did he get up the stairs so quickly? When I turned, I was surprised to see that he was having difficulties suppressing a grin.
“Oh, you think this is funny?” I asked, outraged.
Suddenly, he pulled me by my jacket, firmly wrapped his arms around me, and kissed me intensely. I stiffened for a moment, surprised, but when he wouldn’t let go and kept kissing me, I caved. We stood intertwined for minutes.
“I love you,” I suddenly heard him whisper into my ear, and I opened my eyes. “Oh God, I love you so much!” He held my hips and kissed me, moaning lightly. I believed I’d melt when his hands slipped under my coat and along my body. They were everywhere.
“I love you, too!” I managed to say between panting breaths, feeling my eyes fill with hot tears. When they silently ran down my cheeks, Jared stopped. The next moment he was kissing my face, gently, until the tears had ceased. Then he firmly held me while I rested my head against his chest.
“Please stop worrying about my past,” he said in a quiet voice. “It should be as insignificant to you as it is to me.” He gently kissed my forehead. “Ever since I first saw you, nothing but you has mattered to me. Everything I am is yours!”
I had no words for what was happening inside me at that moment. Even before I’d understood what my body was getting ready and longing for, my mouth started to speak as if on its own. “Do you want to come upstairs?” I said as if in a trance, narrowing my eyes as soon as the words had left my lips. I would have preferred to take it back. I felt Jared’s mouth turn into a smile in my hair.
“Not tonight, my darling,” he said, striking a heavy blow to my self-confidence. “Not after this talk. I don’t want old burdens running around in your head.” Again he pressed his lips tenderly against my forehead. “I want it to be something very special,” he whispered into my ear, adding, with a deep, trembling voice, “There’s nothing I want more than to be together with you—in every conceivable way.” Even before the last word, he had pressed his abdomen firmly against me. Oh! When I felt how much he wanted to be with me, I didn’t know whether to blush or immediately pull him upstairs. “You have no idea how much self-control it’s taking for me to leave now!” His words caused a tremendous explosion in the pit of my stomach and . . . further down. “I have to leave.” He let me go with a strange, abrupt motion.
We looked at one another with glowing eyes. Although he was completely right, I could not bring myself to let him go. He seemed to feel the same way, for suddenly he bent forward in a graceful movement, took my face into his hands and kissed me again—full of longing.
“Good night!” he said, pulling himself away once and for all, and bounded down the steps to put distance between us as fast as possible.
“Good night,” I said when I was able to think clearly again, then rapidly disappeared inside before I begged him to sleep with me.
While climbing the stairs to my room, I brushed my fingertips over my lips. I could still feel his kiss. The thought of how his mouth fit against mine, how he embraced me and pulled me against his chest, how overwhelming it was to be so close to him . . . It almost made my legs give way. I breathed heavily. My whole body appeared to vibrate. Every single fiber of my being longed for Jared—I was completely and totally given to him.
Still caught in my sensual dreamworld, I unlocked my door and went into my room. Since the sun had set, it was dark inside except for the faint shine of the hallway light. I took my purse from my shoulder and placed it in the corner. Then, my thoughts still with Jared, I took off my coat and threw it over the back of the chair.
Bending down to take off my shoes, I suddenly froze. What was that strange feeling? My stomach contracted and the hairs on my arms rose in warning. Something was wrong . . .
Even before I understood why, my body was on full alert. My muscles stiffened, and an ice-cold shudder ran down my back, giving me goose bumps. My pupils dilated, the sensitive hairs in my ears rose to receive the faintest peep, and my nostrils flared.
Then I smelled it: the repulsive odor of rotting flesh almost made me gag. What the hell was that? In a flash I became aware I was not alone—someone was here!
I turned and rose as slowly as possible. Every single muscle was tensed to the point of bursting. From the corner of my eye I saw something moving on my bed. My eyes opened wide as I noticed another motion, this time closer. Whatever it was that produced this awful stench was coming toward me. Pure adrenaline shot through my body, sharpening my senses. I leapt toward the door to get out and save myself, sound the alarm, cry for help, do something—anything. I just needed to get as far away from this foul-smelling thing as possible. My fingertips brushed the door handle as something violently gripped my ankle and pulled me back. I fell to the floor with a loud thud, bumping my head harshly when I landed. I saw through blurred vision how the creature bent over me. The penetrating stench of pus and rotting flesh seared my nostrils. I wanted to scream but was rendered incapacitated. My throat was completely dry.
“You’re staying here!” the creature said in a raspy voice. When my vision cleared and my eyes had become accustomed to the dark, I saw what was bent over me. I sucked in my breath and shrank back in a panic. The creature was wrapped in a long, black cloak and had an outline reminiscent of a person, but there was nothing remotely human about this thing. First, I thought of a burn victim, but then I saw the face was covered in countless scars, sores, and weeping boils. I barely kept myself from vomiting.
“You made me wait a long time,” the monster said as an evil grin spread over its misbegotten face. The acrid stench of its breath burned inside my nose. I flailed about and kicked at anything within reach. The creature retreated, howling, when my heel hit it in the stomach full force. I clambered to my feet, but the monster was faster. Before I could reach the door, it grabbed my waist and hurled me back to the floor. A second later, it was on top of me, bearing down on me with its full weight and grabbing my wrists. I squirmed with all my strength. Suddenly, I felt a lack of pressure on my legs. Now or never! I raised my knee as hard as I could, hitting the creature in the most sensitive spot. It let go with a pain-filled howl.
Again I hurled myself toward the door, but it grabbed me by the hair and jerked my head back so violently it almost broke my neck.
“That’s enough!” Scarface hissed, his black beetle eyes angrily looking at me. Everything around me blurred. What was happening? Was I fainting? The creature, still holding my hair in a rough grasp, began to look around, alarmed. It had also felt it. I was not fainting—the room really was quaking. A touch of hope arose inside me. Before I’d understood what was happening, the door exploded open. An enraged Jared stood in the doorway and hurled himself on the monster, who
let my hair go.
“Evelyn! Into the hallway!” he commanded.
I obeyed without hesitation and scrambled into the hallway and cowered in a corner. What the hell had attacked me? I numbly noticed white, yellow, and blue sparks fly around me and disappear into my room. Suddenly, a bright, glowing light emanated from the room, followed by a deafening bang. Trembling, I buried my head between my knees, pinched my eyes shut, wrapped my arms around myself, and started to rock back and forth.
What the hell had attacked me? I rocked more intensely and sank my head deeper—I didn’t want to see, hear, or feel anything.
Damn it, what had attacked me?
Suddenly, I felt a burning pain in my throat. I lifted my head and opened my eyes. Thick smoke billowed out of my room and snaked along the hallway. The burning became stronger, entered my windpipe, and made its way down to my lungs. Only when the pain had become unbearable and my eyes teared up, did it dawn on me I was inhaling pure smoke. My body was shaken by a violent coughing fit. I gagged, coughed, and wrestled helplessly for air, when something suddenly lifted me by my shoulders. The dorm’s sprinkler system triggered, and students poured out of their rooms, some only in their underwear or pajamas, to see what was going on. Then I felt the air clear and become cleaner. How could that be? I seemed to move forward without using my legs—as if I were floating. Only then could I see through my tear-filled eyes that Jared was carrying me outside. I wrapped my arms around his neck when another coughing fit shook me. I trembled with fear and cold. I held on tighter, trying to breathe regularly. But I couldn’t subdue the rising panic. I started to hyperventilate and reached for my throat. I sucked in air as hard as I could but not a bit of oxygen seemed to reach my lungs—I was suffocating!
Panicking, I twisted in Jared’s arms. Air! I needed air! I stared at him, my eyes wide with horror, a silent cry for help on my lips as Jared started to mumble something and slid his hand over my eyes. Then a wave of comforting, golden warmth flowed through my body.