by Sophia Gray
I swallowed hard. “I know,” I said. Suddenly, my eyes teared up. “I know things are gonna be okay, but they don’t feel okay right now,” I said. “I made some really stupid mistakes, Isaac. What if Val was right? What if I don’t even deserve to lead the MC?” I shook my head, feeling dazed. “She was always out to get me, right from the beginning. She always knew, Isaac. She knew that she had to pull something big to earn my trust.”
Isaac laughed out loud. “Val wasn’t right about anything,” he said sharply. “She was a dumb cunt who thought she could beat you at your own game, and she lost. She’s going to prison, and I doubt she’s ever getting out.”
I relaxed just a little bit. It felt good to know that at least Val would be behind bars now. Even if there was a chance of her getting out someday, that would give me some time to build the club back up in the meantime.
“Well,” I said, feeling awkward. “I know you don’t wanna hang around here, Isaac. You can go.”
Isaac frowned. He stepped closer and I immediately stepped away. I couldn’t be close to him, not now. Not ever, unless he wanted me to break down and confess that I still loved him.
“What is it?” Isaac’s voice was ragged but soft. “What’s going on?”
I felt tears welling up in my eyes and suddenly, I desperately needed to get away from everything. The other Succubi, Alexa, Kyle, and especially Isaac. I broke into a run and darted out into the parking lot, climbing on my spare bike and shoving the key in the ignition.
“Stephanie!” I heard Isaac’s voice but my eyes were blinded with tears. “Stephanie, what are you doing? Where are you going?”
“Away,” I called as loudly as I could without letting Isaac hear the break in my voice. “I can’t be here anymore! This hurts too much, Isaac. I can’t deal with it anymore!”
“Stephanie, come back,” Isaac yelled. He ran into the parking lot and grabbed my arm in both of his hands. When he touched me, sparks jumped between our skin and I felt a warm, melty feeling come over my insides. “Please don’t go,” Isaac begged. “Not without talking to me.”
The note of kindness in his voice made the waterworks start up again from the beginning. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed until my throat was sore and my eyes were leaking all over my face. Snot was bubbling out of my nose and I wiped it on my sleeve, wincing. I was probably a complete mess; there was no way Isaac would ever want anything to do with me, ever again.
“Stephanie, come on,” Isaac said. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. At first I resisted, but he was too strong and I felt myself caving and resting my face against his neck. He smelled incredibly good, even better than he had before in the dream. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, letting the musky, calming scent of Isaac wash over my senses.
“Isaac, I can’t stay here,” I whispered. “I have to go. I can’t keep doing this. It hurts too much.”
Isaac sighed heavily. He pulled away, slipping two fingers under my chin and turning my head up to look right into his eyes. "Stephanie, what is it?" Isaac's green eyes made me shiver. This was the closest I'd felt to another human being in years, and I couldn't believe how disarming the sensation was. It was like someone had knocked me back and I was still falling through the air, dreading my hard crash against the pavement.
I swallowed hard, trying to steel my nerves. “I’m so sorry I lied,” I said softly. A single tear rolled down my cheek and dripped off my chin. Isaac reached forward and wiped my face with his hand. “I’m sorry, Isaac. I still love you,” I said. “I never stopped loving you, but I knew that we couldn’t be together anymore.” I sighed. “It’s the kind of love where we can’t be together ever again.”
“No,” Isaac said sharply. He shook his head and for a gut-wrenching moment I thought he was going to tell me to go to hell. Instead, he stared deeply into my eyes until I felt every ounce of resistance in my body melt away. “Stephanie, I love you,” he said slowly. “I was so angry for so long, but I understand why you did the things you did. I mean, you had to,” he said slowly. “It’s hard for me to take, but I forgive you.”
I stared at him. I felt like I’d just stuck my fingers in an electrical socket and received the shock of my life. “Are you kidding me?”
“No,” Isaac said. He pulled me into his arms and wrapped me close. “I love you, and I’ll always love you, Stephanie. Nothing has changed. I’m sorry that we were apart for years, but things are better now. Everything’s okay.”
I shook my head. “It’s not okay!” I cried loudly. “It’s not okay, and it’s not going to be okay ever again!” The tears started to fall and I pushed Isaac away and wiped my face frantically. “Everything is too fucked up, Isaac. Everything is so fucked up and it’s all my fault!”
“No, it’s not,” Isaac said. “Stephanie, just try to calm down and listen—”
“No!” I practically shouted. Panic was tearing through my body and I covered my face in my hands. “No, listen, Isaac. This is my fault. It wouldn’t have happened it if it hadn’t been for me. Isaac,” I paused to take a deep breath. “Val killed my parents. She was the one who hired the gun to do it, and then she stepped in because she wanted to lead me to the people.” I let out a shaky breath. “Isaac, this was all my fault. I was so blind before, I didn’t see the truth.” I shuddered, still not convinced that I’d managed to survive for so long. I’d never felt so stupid before.
Isaac’s jaw dropped. He pulled me close against his chest before I could argue. “Baby, it’s okay,” Isaac crooned in my ear. “That’s over now. You don’t have to worry about Val any longer, okay? We’re all good, Stephanie.”
I shuddered in his arms. The extreme panic of the day wasn’t leaving me. I felt like I needed a drink, a fuck, and a smoke, in that exact order. I couldn’t believe that Isaac and I had just patched things up.
I swallowed hard. “What’s going to happen now?” I wrapped my arms around Isaac’s neck and pulled him close. “What are we gonna do?”
“I don’t know,” Isaac said. He nuzzled my hair and kissed the top of my head, sending delicious shivers through my whole body. “But I know that we’ll be doing it together, and that’s what counts.”
I melted into his arms. “Promise me that we’ll stay together no matter what.”
Isaac hesitated. "Candace, I've wanted you back ever since the day you left. My life isn't complete without you. I know that you've been through a lot, but I'm going to help you work through everything until you feel better, okay? I promise I'll never leave you."
“Thank you,” I whispered softly.
Isaac tilted my head back and we kissed. When our lips met, it was like nothing I’d ever experienced. It was a kiss about life, about joy, about finding someone you’ve lost for years. I found that when I was in Isaac’s arms, all of the trauma and pain from the past just disappeared. Thinking about the past was just as scary as it had been before, but with Isaac by my side, I knew that I no longer had any reason to be afraid.
Chapter Thirty
Six Months Later
“Candace!” Alexa called my name loudly as she waltzed into the newly redecorated clubhouse. “This place looks incredible!” She spun around in a circle and dropped her bags on the floor, looking up at the ceiling. We’d had everything painted in a new color scheme—black and purple—and it looked absolutely incredible.
I walked over and hugged her. Alexa had taken over the VP spot ever since Val’s demise, and I couldn’t have picked a better woman. She was everything the Succubi needed: sharp, witty, and incredibly clever. Plus, she was loyal.
After everything went down with Val and Jessica, I was in a funk that lasted for about a month. Isaac tried everything he could think of to get me to perk up again, but almost nothing worked. I couldn’t stop thinking about how badly I’d failed as a leader, and I thought that I probably didn’t even deserve to have a group of girls riding behind me. But with time and Isaac’s kind words, I was starting to see just how badly Val had pl
ayed me.
After the incident, Alexa and Isaac and Kyle helped me do some research on other MCs around LA. It turned out that Val had lied about practically everything, including her age. She’d actually been a member of the now-defunct Hell’s Handmaidens, and she was the group member responsible for their demise. Just like Jessica, a girl had faked her own rape and then used it to get another group, a respectable MC, put down and sent to prison. Val hadn’t even paid for that little stunt—she’d framed the girl who had claimed rape. I shuddered, thinking of how easily she could have manipulated Jessica and the rest of the girls into doing the same. After all, she’d practically won.
But she hadn’t won, and I was still here. That had to count for something.
Alexa skipped over to me and threw her arms around my neck. She was tan from her two weeks in the Bahamas and her light eyes were glowing in her face. “I’m so happy,” Alexa said. She beamed at me, then stuck her left hand in my face. A giant diamond on her ring finger sparkled and I felt my heart swell.
“I’m so happy for you,” I said with a grin.
“Candace, this is incredible,” Alexa replied. “I never thought that I’d be this happy. I never thought that I’d find someone like Kyle, but he understands me. And he’s so happy about the Succubi, too,” she added with a sly grin. “And our new alliance.”
At that, I burst out laughing. Isaac, Alexa, Kyle, and the rest of Jungle’s Thorns had really helped me. Together, we'd rebuilt the Succubi from the ground up and now the Succubi were stronger than ever. With a companion like Alexa, I knew that everything would be okay in the future. We might have our fights, but she wasn't hell-bent on destroying me like Val had been.
“How was your honeymoon?”
Alexa blushed. “We didn’t make it to the beach very often,” she said softly. “As much as I would have loved that…” She winked at me. “But we did have this awesome private balcony off our room,” she said with a grin. “And we sunbathed naked most days. I don’t have any tan lines.” Alexa smirked. “You and Isaac should go sometime. He’d love it.”
I frowned. “He’s been weird lately,” I confessed. “He’s been really distant. I don’t exactly know what’s going on, but I want to figure it out. He just won’t talk to me, though.”
Alexa shrugged. “Men are like that,” she said softly. “How are things, though? Aside from that?”
I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. Some of the black dye was still there, but I’d made the decision to go back to my original color: blonde. Between that and changing my name from Stephanie back to Candace, I was finally starting to feel like myself again. The girls had even surprised me with a picture of me and Isaac from our teenage days. Somehow, after all these years, Isaac had hung on to an album with the photos of us. That had made me cry harder than anything. I knew that I had a lot of repenting to do, but I’d already tried to make a head start on that. And with Isaac by my side, I felt like anything was possible.
“Things are okay,” I admitted. “I’m still kind of struggling, I feel like I really deserve to be punished for what happened.” I swallowed hard. “I knew something was wrong and I didn’t fight hard enough against Val. I could have prevented all of this, and yet I didn’t.”
Alexa hugged me. “It’ll be okay,” she said. With a sly grin, she pointed down at my belly. “You have bigger things to worry about after all.”
I blushed. “I know,” I said, looking away. “And these pregnancy hormones are killing me. It’s like I want to cry all the time, for absolutely no fucking reason at all.”
Alexa burst out laughing. “That gives me something to look forward to,” she cracked in a dry voice. “Not that we’re starting right away or anything,”
I rolled my eyes. “Great,” I cracked. “Thanks for making me feel like the one jumping the gun.”
When Alexa moved away with her bags, I cradled my growing belly with both hands. I hadn’t planned on getting pregnant so soon, but after the incident, Isaac and I were so filled with desire for each other that it had happened almost instantly. I had no clue about being a mother. How much of my life was going to change? What was I going to have to do differently? But I couldn’t wait to meet our child.
Isaac had been insanely happy. He’d spun me around in a circle and kissed me on the tip of the nose. Oddly enough, it was the day I’d changed my name legally back to Candace. It seemed almost like a blessing of some kind, like someone out there really wanted the best for me.
“Candace!” Tara, one of the new girls, walked over to me. She handed me a bottle of water and I took the cap off, taking a long, slow drink of the refreshing liquid. “How are you?”
“Good,” I nodded, checking my watch. Isaac and the rest of the guys were supposed to show up in a little while for a surprise party. Well, it was supposed to be a surprise. A surprise for me, actually. But since Val, we weren’t taking any precautions. My girls didn’t wanna sneak around behind my back and make me suspicious of anything, which I appreciated. Isaac didn’t know that I knew, but I’d promised Kyle and the guys that I was going to act more surprised than I’d ever acted in my whole life.
“Good,” Tara replied. She hugged me and looked down at my stomach. “Wow, you’re actually showing a little bit! I can’t wait to see the baby!”
“You have about six more months,” I said. As much as I couldn’t wait to be a mom, I didn’t actually enjoy being pregnant very much. My boobs were always sore and I felt huge, even though I’d only gained ten pounds so far. My favorite leather chaps were already too tight. Isaac teased me and told me that he liked me fat, but I knew better.
“It’ll go fast,” Tara said. She was the new sergeant at arms, and so far she was doing a great job. She’d done some outreach and so far, we’d managed to raise almost five hundred thousand dollars. The Succubi and Jungle’s Thorns worked together with the Russians to procure weapons now, and we sold them together. I couldn’t believe how powerful my MC had become. It was almost like Val’s prophecy had come true—we were now the most powerful group in LA. Of course, it was all thanks to Jungle’s Thorns and Isaac, but still. It felt pretty fucking good to be on top.
“I can’t wait,” I said, walking to the rooms at the back of the club. Even after I found out the truth about what had really happened to Jessica, I couldn’t get over the ominous feeling that took hold of my body every time I went in the back of the club. So Alexa found some guys and we knocked out the rest of the walls back there. Instead of little bedrooms, it was a recreation area with a second bar. We’d also added on a second floor, and upstairs we had bunk beds and a private bedroom. I’d taken to spending a lot of nights there—part of convincing the girls that I was a worthy president meant spending a lot of time watching over the clubhouse.
We also had new prospects. Melissa, Tori, and Kendall were all girls fresh out of college who Tara had found at a biker meet. Kendall had even come from a biker family, much like Jessica. After vetting them and putting them through the ringer for a couple of weeks, I was finally starting to think that they’d be good, fully patched members of the club. But I wasn’t as naïve as I had been before, and I wanted to make sure that sinister motives wouldn’t reveal themselves with time. I couldn’t handle myself if Kendall turned out to be another Jessica, or if Tori turned out to be another Val.
Sometimes, I still thought about Val. I didn’t like thinking about her, but it was hard to forget about someone who had been in my life for so long. In many ways, Val had saved me. After all, she’d found me when I was down and out because of my parents getting shot, and when I was heartbroken from leaving Isaac. Sure, Val was the reason that all of the bad shit had happened in the first place. But she hadn’t been all bad. Val was the first woman who believed in me, the first woman who convinced me that I could lead an all-female MC with no repercussions. She told me that I didn’t have to be afraid of men, that I was able to lead on my own with conviction. It was funny; when she used to talk about that kind of shit, I ne
ver wanted to believe her. But now, her words came crashing back to me and I realized that she’d been right all along. I was a strong woman who could lead a group, and if Val was who it had taken for me to realize that, well, then I guessed that I didn’t mind so much.
Val’s effect was still felt on some of the other women, too. Alexa was never able to forgive her for the blackmailing incident. She even went to the trial and testified. I’d wanted to get out of doing that, but the club’s lawyers had advised me to suck it up and get it over with. Jessica had already been sentenced—twenty years in a federal prison—but Val was still over in county, waiting for her day in court. It was coming up next week, and every time I thought about it, I got a bad taste in my mouth. Somehow, Val had managed to snag a really high-profile lawyer. But even with the world’s best defense team, I knew that she wouldn’t be able to get away with what she’d done. Not with the testimony from me and the evidence that she’d bought the hit against my parents all those years ago.
“Candace!” Alexa’s voice was calling me loudly from the hallway. “It’s happening! They’re here! Act surprised!”